Always, Abigail (13 page)

1.
Why don't you give Alli and Cami a call?

2.
Have you made any new friends in sixth grade you'd like to invite over?

3.
Do you want to make some cookies with me?

4.
Why don't you finish that scarf you're knitting?

5.
Can't you find
something
to do?

1.
Because I'm not a
real
pom-pom girl.

2.
New friends, Mom? Really, do you remember at all what middle school was like?

3.
C'mon, Mom, I'm not five.

4.
Seriously, Mom, a scarf?

5.
The only thing I WANT to be doing is the only thing I CAN'T be doing.

What's YOUR problem?

1.
I would've been the only NON-pom there.

2.
If I heard any more pom-pom politics, I was afraid I might barf all over everyone's sleeping bags.

3.
Most of all, I knew that AlliCam didn't really care if I came or not.

1.
No poms = No AlliCam

2.
But what did no AlliCam = ?

Finished reading
A Wrinkle in Time
, which I had borrowed from Old Hawk's classroom library.

1.
Staying after school would earn me ten extra credit points, and I needed the points because I'd bombed my last vocabulary test.

I wouldn't have cared so much, but I didn't want to get another note from Old Hawk listing all the things I was lacking. I was
supposed
to be living up to my mother's potential.

2.
I needed to find ways to keep myself from devouring the rest of the 100-calorie snack bags left in our pantry.

3.
I needed
something
to do. Anything. Willingly volunteering to help Old Hawk was proof of how desperate I was.

Gabby volunteered to help too.

1.
“Remember, girls, you are earning extra credit points, so I expect a wholehearted effort.”

2.
“The storage cabinet is full of old books that have been there for years. It is in desperate need of being cleaned. Place the worn-out books in the trash. Save the ones that are in good condition.”

3.
“I will be attending a faculty meeting. Please mind your p's and q's while I'm gone and get down to brass tacks. I shall return in the hour.”

1.
Stared at each other for at least one full minute. (I kept waiting for Gabby to start laughing in her usual bizarro way, but she didn't.)

2.
I emptied the top shelf of the storage cabinet onto the floor, and Gabby took an empty box from the back counter. We both sat down in the middle of the pile of books.

“Too bad these are all picture books,” Gabby said. “I collect old paperback books.”

What was Gabby? A librarian in training? I mean, I liked books, but c'mon, no normal person I knew “collected” old paperbacks.

3.
We both picked up books from the heap and tossed them into the throw-away pile or put them into the save box.

It was strange that Old Hawk's classroom library of novels was so elaborate and organized, when this pile of picture books was a mess.

4.
After ten minutes, Gabby broke the silence with, “I LOVE this book!” She was holding a copy of
The
Little
Engine
That
Could
. It was tattered and worn, and pages were falling out. Gabby tossed it into the throw-away pile.

I loved that book too. My mom had read it to me so many times that I knew the first page by heart.

I wondered who had read the book to Gabby. Was it her mom? And did seeing the book remind Gabby of her? I wanted to say something, but what could I say?

5.
Just after Gabby found
The
Little
Engine
That
Could
, I found another one of my favorite books,
Alexander
and
the
Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day.
After this year I could write my own book.
Abigail
and
the
Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Year Of Sixth Grade.

6.
Gabby kept finding books she remembered and loved, and she made comments about each one. I kept finding books I remembered and loved, but I kept my mouth shut. I was helping Old Hawk for the extra credit points, not to become “book buddies” with Gabby Marco.

Since we had stayed after school to help Old Hawk, Gabby and I had to take the late bus home. All the kids on sports teams and pom-poms take it too. I didn't want the pom girls to see me getting on the bus with Gabby. I knew J&M would have something snotty to say about that. So I took my time getting my stuff out of my locker. I made sure Gabby left ahead of me. I must've stalled a little too long because I was still at my locker when I heard the driver toot the horn, signaling that the bus would leave in sixty seconds. I knew I was going to have to run. Running to the bus isn't such a horrible thing. I'd done it lots of times before. It's what happened
while
I was running to the bus that was the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad thing.

We'd had too much rain in the last few days, and whenever that happened, the parking lot on the side of the building always flooded. In order to get to the bus, everyone used the sidewalk alongside the water. That's where the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad thing happened. I slipped off the sidewalk and fell into the big parking-lot-sized puddle of water. I was sitting in the water looking up at a busload of pom-pom girls, basketball players, and volleyball players, wondering if I had just made myself the new outcast of Crestdale Heights. The laughter coming from the bus windows made me feel worse than the wet jeans I'd have to sit in on the way home.

Before I could even get up, Gabby headed out the doorway of the bus. She grabbed my backpack and helped me up.

She said, “Just remember, I think I can. I think I can. I think I can.”

As I followed Gabby to the bus, water dripped from every seam of my jeans. When I looked up, I saw all the pom girls, faces plastered against the bus windows, staring at me and laughing. Even AlliCam.

All I could think was, “I can't come back to school tomorrow. I know I can't. I know I can't. I know I can't.