Always Beautiful (15 page)

“He talks about you a lot.” She said. “He does?” I asked curiously. Hannah nodded. “Josh said that he was at the gym the other day and wouldn’t shut up about you. He said that Zeppelin kept saying how amazing you were and how much he really liked spending time with you.” I felt butterflies expand in the pit of my stomach, hearing that he talked about me, made me feel really good and stupidly giddy for some reason. “I love spending time with him too.” I admitted. Hannah tucked a stray strand of hair behind my ear. “I know you do chick. You seem really happy right now. I told you to lighten up a little. I’m glad you did.” She said.

“I’m still me. I still care about school and moving out of Dixon’s. It’s nice to have something else to think about though.” I said. Hannah nodded. “Speaking of which, I found out that a girl I work with at the boutique is subletting her apartment downtown. The rent is fairly cheap since she doesn’t need the money. She is moving to London for a year to apprentice at a shop there.” “Wow, really?” I asked. “Yeah, she says the place is totally safe, in a good neighborhood, and really cute. Maybe we could go check it out next week.” I nodded. “Yeah of course, that would be great. You’re amazing Hannah.” I said. Hannah shrugged. “I know, I know.” She giggled and hugged me.

My gaze moved back to Zeppelin who was now standing off by himself and flexing his fingers while holding his left wrist. I watched as he curled them in and then splayed them out with a perplexed expression. He seemed to scowl for a moment and then his eyes shifted to mine and he immediately dropped his hand. The expression on his face changed to a half smile and sparkling blue eyes in an instant as he made his way over to me.

He bent down and kissed my cheek before taking the seat that Hannah had just left. “Hey Angel,” he murmured. I smiled. “Hey you, are you okay?” I asked as I trailed my finger along his left hand. He nodded. “I’m good. I think I just strained my wrist or something.” He shrugged. I lifted his hand to my lips and placed a gentle kiss upon it. Smiling wider, Zeppelin leaned in and kissed my lips. “Thanks baby, you’re too good to me.” He said softly. “I like being good to you.” I said. He kissed me again and then pulled me in to his lap in the chair. “You’re perfect to me right here in my arms.” He whispered as he moved his lips along my neck, sending a familiar thrill throughout my body.

We watched the fireworks a little while later with me still cuddled in to his lap. He would kiss some part of me often, either my cheek, lips, neck, or hair. I couldn’t help but want to cherish every touch that he gave me as I snuggled closer to him. His fingers ran through my hair as we watched the colorful bursts in the sky. When it was almost over, his hand fell limply to the arm rest at my lower back. I turned my head to look at him and saw that he his head was tilted back, his eyes closed and his chest rising and falling slowly. He had fallen asleep.

Placing a swift kiss on his forehead, I let him rest and removed myself from his lap. He had done the same thing the night before as we lay in my bed cuddling. Zeppelin’s eyes kept closing and he made the comment about me wearing him out. I had laughed it off and stroked his hair as he closed his eyes. It had been a busy week at the shop and Zeppelin had been helping Dixon and my uncle out a lot. I figured working that hard was just catching up with him.

The following week, I noticed subtle changes in the way Zeppelin was acting. He was acting really tired and almost looked as if he was feeling ill. Every time I would ask him if he was okay, he assured me he was fine. I didn’t want to be too overbearing or concerned, but the thought occurred to me that he might be keeping something from me. He also didn’t text as often as he once had and when I offered to hang out at his place one night, he said he was busy with some stuff. What the “stuff” was, I didn’t know and I didn’t ask.

I took this as a sign that maybe I was beginning to get too wrapped up in Zeppelin and needed to break away for a little while too. I figured that maybe I was growing too attached to him and needed to distance myself and gain some perspective. Truth be told, I was a little hurt and bothered by his shift in attitude, but I wasn’t sure if I had any right to be. I decided to call up Hannah and go check out that apartment she had told me about.

It was a very cute one bedroom apartment with a small kitchen and bathroom in a well-secured building downtown. I fell in love with it instantly and when the girl that leased the apartment told me the monthly rent, I was sure this was where I was meant to be. After working out the lease terms and paperwork with her and the landlord, I was set to move in at the end of July. Another nice part of the apartment was that it came fully furnished except for a bed and a few minor things.

Hannah kept me thoroughly distracted from thinking of Zeppelin by insisting that we go shopping for things I would need. The following day I called my mother and told her all about my new place. She was excited for me and said she would be sending the money for a deposit before I was scheduled to move in. Everything was going according to plan and I felt good in knowing that. I wasn’t as happy as I should have been though. After a full week of not seeing Zeppelin and hardly hearing from him I decided to call and ask him what was going on.

It wasn’t just me he was slowly withdrawing from. Dixon said that he didn’t come in to the shop for two days when he was supposed to and Matt went over to his place the other night and Zeppelin didn’t answer. I was more worried about him than anything and decided that I wouldn’t take no for an answer if he refused to see me. Monday morning I woke with the intention of calling him. I wandered out to the living room and was surprised to see Zeppelin sitting there with a solemn looking Dixon on the couch.

Both of them raised their eyes to look at me, Zeppelin searched my face quietly and Dixon smiled slightly. “I was going to call you.” I said, looking at Zeppelin’s blue eyes. He nodded. “We need to talk Angel.” He replied. At that moment, Dixon got up from the couch and slapped Zeppelin on the back. “Catch you later Zep, call me sometime okay?” He said. “Sure thing Dixon, thanks.” I looked between the two of them as Dixon walked down the hall to his room, closing the door. “Is everything okay?” I asked skeptically. Zeppelin sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “Yes and no.” He responded as he stood and reached for my hand.

I took it effortlessly and soaked in the warm feeling and sense of peace that only his touch could give. How quickly I was able to fall right back in to him even though I wasn’t at all sure what he was going to say or why he had been distant for a week. He led me to the couch where he sat and pulled me in to his lap. He smelled like heaven, a hint of body wash and his own musk. Wrapping his arms around my waist, he kissed my forehead.

“I’m really sorry for being antisocial for the past week.” Zeppelin said. I studied his face, seeing nothing but sincerity in his blue eyes. “What’s going on?” I asked. “Something came up and I have to go to Seattle for a while. I really don’t want to leave but I have to. My parents need me back there.” He spoke in a rush, keeping his gaze on mine the entire time. “Is everything alright?” I asked with a furrowed brow. Zeppelin nodded and let out a breath. “Yeah, it will be I’m sure. I just have to take care of some things. I hate to leave you Angel. I missed you the last couple of days.” He leaned his forehead against mine.

“I missed you too. I thought that maybe you were mad at me or didn’t want to see me anymore.” I admitted. “Not at all baby, in fact I wanted to see you very badly. I was just…busy and not feeling very well.” “Okay, when do you have to leave town?” I asked. “Tomorrow morning. I wanted to spend the day with you if that’s okay?” He placed a kiss on my lips and pulled back to look at me, waiting for my response. Nodding, I wrapped my arms around his shoulders. “I would like that.” I said before pressing my lips to his.

Spending the day with Zeppelin was nice. I didn’t think I was the type of person to crave attention from a particular person. I never thought that I would ever be one of those girls who were dependent on a man’s affections. But with Zeppelin I was becoming just that. It was like he was a drug for me. I was addicted to him and consumed by him and his every move. I wasn’t sure that I would ever be able to quit Zeppelin Rhodes.

We stayed at Dixon’s house and curled up on the couch watching movies. Dixon left to go to the shop and we were all alone. Zeppelin was lying behind me, spooning me on the couch with one hand on my hip and the other stroking my hair lightly. He kissed the side of my head and sighed softly.

“Can I tell you something?” He whispered into my hair softly. I turned my head to look at his face. “Yes.” I replied. Zeppelin licked his lips and furrowed his brow slightly. The hand at my hip splayed and slid over my stomach. Slowly, it traveled up my body to my cheek where he moved his thumb in small circles. My body instantly warmed at the intimate contact and my heart picked up speed.

With his blue eyes gazing in to mine, Zeppelin tilted his head forward and rested his forehead against mine. “You mean the world to me Angel.” He said quietly. “Remember that I sought you out because I wanted you. I’m not letting go that easily.” He pressed his lips against mine gently and pulled back from me. Butterflies fluttered deep in my belly and I couldn’t seem to find the words to say.

Instead, I rolled on to my other side, facing him and placed my hand against his cheek. A slow smile spread across his perfect lips as I moved my head closer to him and kissed that smile. I parted my lips when he did and slid my tongue against his. Zeppelin moaned in my mouth and his hand slid over my backside as he pressed my body into his.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and continued to kiss him, conveying every thought, every feeling that I had toward him without breathing a word. We lay on the couch exploring each other’s bodies, tasting each other’s mouths and being totally consumed with each other for the next hour. We simply made out and it was perfect. Almost more intimate than actually sleeping with him.

Later on that evening, Zeppelin and I wound up in my bedroom. He kissed me passionately and told me that he needed me. We made slow and intense love that left me feeling so content yet had my mind racing with thoughts of me falling for him. As I lay there with Zeppelin, afterward, I realized that I had missed him over the last week much more than I originally thought, and I knew that I didn’t want to let go of him either. For some reason he was able to sink beneath my skin and get inside of me like no one else had before. I knew that I didn’t want to lose him.

Zeppelin wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me back in to his warm body. He placed a tender kiss on my temple. “I wish I could sleep with you every night Angel.” He whispered. “I would love that.” I said softly. I felt him nod against my hair. “You relax me.” He murmured. I smiled slightly and shifted on to my back. Zeppelin moved his left arm above his head but kept his right one around my waist.

“I’m glad I can relax you.” I told him. He smiled at me and kissed my lips sweetly. Lowering his head to my chest, he rested his ear against my heart. “Goodnight Angel.” He whispered as he held me tight. I ran my fingers though his hair and closed my eyes. I took in the feeling of his soft hair, the warmth of his arms around me. I was calm and peaceful and content. There was definitely no doubt that I would miss Zeppelin when he left tomorrow.

Chapter 8

~Present Day~

I should’ve known that something significant was going on with Zeppelin after that first week of him acting peculiar. Maybe I should have been more insistent that he explain what it was that was going on. Perhaps I should have told him he couldn’t stay that day. In doing that though, I think I would have shattered him worse than he already was at the time. I just hadn’t known it until later and I’m grateful that I allowed him to be with me even though I was unsure.

To this day, I can’t seem to find out the reason why we molded together so well. Some people have asked me what it was about him that made me change my mind and allow myself to fall in love. I can only explain it by telling them that it was a number of different things, it was everything. Zeppelin was my other half. Our souls were meant to know each other. It was as complicated and as simple as that.

Of course the road to where I am today is paved in many more struggles and heartbreaking moments, but they are mine, they are ours, and I know that today will not be any different. There are more things to come my way that might hurt. I will surely cry and have bad days, but those beautiful moments will always pick me up when I am down and carry me through.

I was standing at the window of the small room I was in and peering out at the lawn below. It was late in summer and the weather was gorgeous today. A strong warm hand landed on my shoulder and I turned to see Dixon standing behind me. He was wearing a white button down shirt and black slacks with a simple champagne colored tie. I smiled at him, taking in his appearance. He cleaned up well.

“You look so handsome.” I said with a wide smile as I pulled my cousin in to a hug. “Thanks cuz, you look beautiful.” He replied. We pulled away from each other. “It’s a big day for you. How are you feeling?” He asked. I shrugged. “I’m as good as can be expected I guess. I’m not sure what to feel to be honest.” Dixon nodded. “It’s a huge and emotional day for all of us.” He said. “I wanted to talk to you before things get started.” I told him.

I walked over to the table and took a seat in one of the chairs. Dixon followed me and sat beside me. I let out a long breath and met his eyes. “I’m not sure I can ever thank you enough for all you’ve done for me.” I said quietly. “You let me into your house last summer. You were always supportive of me and there for me when I needed someone. I don’t know what I would have done without you when I found out about Zeppelin. When he left for a while and you took me to Seattle to see him, you didn’t have to do that.” I could feel the tears begin to form again.

“Lucky, I wanted to be there for you, for Zeppelin. He’s one of my best friends and you are more than my cousin. I consider you like my sister. As much as it hurt me to see you hurting, to see your heart break, I knew that you needed me.” Dixon said. He grabbed my hand and began running his thumb across the top of it.