Always Enough (5 page)

“What are you doing?” I asked, trying to keep my voice steady.

“I’m going to prove to you that I don’t
assume
things … I
know
things.”

By now he was right at the edge of the bed where I was sitting. His legs brushed my knee, and even such an unassuming touch seared me with heat. I let my eyes move lazily up his body till they met his warm brown eyes.

“Stand up, Harper.”

There was no question about what he said. It was a demand, but I refused to bend to his will. He told me to do something, but I hate being told what to do. Besides, wasn’t I supposed to be thinking murderous thoughts right then? I’d never liked being told what to do and Ky knew that. But in our short time together, he’d learned that he could play me like the strings on his guitar. All it took was the look he was giving me now, and a tone that said he wasn’t budging until I gave him what he wanted. Ky was just as stubborn as I was.

Deciding to stick to my guns and play the angry chick, which I still was, I crossed my arms over my chest.

“Make me.”

He sighed heavily. “Don’t challenge me, Harper. I’ll win.”

“Hmmm … we’ll see.”

And there it was. The gauntlet had been thrown down and the challenge had been made. I would not be told what to do, and he didn’t like not getting his way. The sexual tension between us was permeable … you could practically taste it.

While I sat there, refusing to move, Ky startled me by reaching out and grasping me by my arms. He hauled me up against him and gave me look that told me if I so much as thought about fighting him, there would be hell to pay. Then he crushed his mouth to mine. I was too shocked to push him away—at least that’s what I told myself.

Oh God, I’d missed this mouth. His lips were soft, but his mouth was firm and unyielding. Ky’s arms folded me into his body so that there wasn’t an inch of space separating us, although I couldn’t be sure that I wasn’t the one pressing into
him.
I managed to unfold my arms and grasp his shirt to pull him even deeper into the kiss. His mouth pulled away, but his tongue darted out and licked my lower lip. I opened my mouth, allowing him in. He swept back inside and kissed me so thoroughly that I couldn’t think of anything but him. Kyler consumed me—licking, sucking, and tasting every inch of my mouth—and I gave it back to him like I was a starving woman.

Ky swept his tongue across mine once more before he leaned back to look in my eyes, heat and desire shown in the depths of those warm chocolate brown irises. He watched me for a few beats before speaking.

“That’s
exactly
what I know.”

I continued to hold him. My legs felt too wobbly to release my hands from his shirt. I wanted more of him. I wasn’t so stupid that I couldn’t set aside petty arguments for a good orgasms sake. So why was he pulling away?

“And what would that be?” I asked breathily.

“That we work, Harper. This between us … its fucking magic, and you can’t hide from it.”

Hiding? Who was hiding? I’d been very clear about who I was and what I wanted from Ky. We’d had our short fling. It was hot and fun while it lasted, but it was over now, and we’d gone our separate ways. He went to play for Down Glory Road, and I had my life in Mountain Home. What else was there? So again I wondered where he got off saying I was hiding.

“I won’t deny you and I have chemistry, Kyler, but just because we connect, well,
sexually
, doesn’t mean we should be together. It was just sex.”

“Seriously, Harper, you think what we had was just sex?” He reached up and released my hands from his shirt and I sank back down onto the bed. He paced the floor in front of me. “Christ, woman, I’m not one to act like a fucking chick, but you and I both know that our relationship went deeper than just being physical with each other. I’ve known you for a seriously long time, Harper, and you’ve always pushed people away. I want to know why.”

“There’s no reason, Kyler. I’m just not ready to settle down yet.”

“That’s an excuse. You and I might not be together, but that doesn’t mean we weren’t friends at one point. Talk to me, Harper.”

His face was full of conviction and damn I wanted to open up to him. But the thing was … even after sharing my emotional wounds, they still left—all of them. Emilyn had been the one my constant in my life, and I didn’t need anybody else. Men were not permanent fixtures in my life. I used them just as much as they used me. As far as I was concerned, it was a mutual agreement. Sex was a mechanical thing for me. I was a warm blooded woman that had cravings and desires like any other walking, talking creature. I had it when I wanted it, and I continued on in my life. Nowhere had there ever been that dirty little four-letter word in any of my relationships. Love just didn’t belong in my life. So what on
earth
was there to talk about?

“You’re right, Ky, we were friends at one point, and we still are. I got what I needed from you, just like you got what you needed from me. No need to discuss it any further.”

“This is what you call a friendship? You’ve been ignoring me for the past several weeks.
Friends
talk to each other,
friends
tell each other what’s going on in their lives. You don’t fucking talk to me.”

I was starting to get pissed off again. Not only was Kyler acting like a needy estrogen-filled female, he’d got me all hot and bothered and then he just wanted to talk. Well, I was done talking. Kyler may know how to strum a guitar like a pro, but I know how to press his buttons and bend to my will.

“Ky?”

“What?” he snapped at me.

“Come back over here,” I said in a seductive tone.

His eyebrow arched and he looked at me cautiously. “What are you up to, Harper?”

His frustration was slowly slipping away, and now he was just trying to figure out what I was doing. Well, when I was done he wouldn’t know what hit him.

I stood up and took three small strides toward him until I was standing directly in front of him. Looking up at him through my long dark lashes, his scent washed over me and my need for him picked up right where it left off.

“You started something a few minutes ago,”— I reached up and gently laid my hand on his chest— “and I want you to finish it.”

His pupils dilated and he groaned low in his throat. I was getting to him, and at least he’d shut up. Leaning in to him, I brought my mouth up to his and said against his lips, “I
need
you to finish it.”

Before I was able to press my lips to his, he took my hand in both of his and pulled his face away, standing at his full six foot two.

“I want you to listen to me. There is more behind your desire for me, and I want to prove it. I have a proposition for you.”

What.

The.

Fuck?

I was practically throwing myself at him, and he couldn’t seem to let this go. Jesus! Next time I’ll just ask him to remove his tampon
before
he comes around me.

“I’m sure you do.” I tried to step away from him but he held me firmly. “Let’s hear it.”

“I want you to come out to New York with me.” He tilted his head to the side and raised his eyebrows, silently telling me to shut up and let him finish. “Come out there and see that it’s just lights and a show. The women that are out there … they aren’t real, Harper. I haven’t been with a single woman since you, and I plan on keeping it that way. But I also want you to see that there is more between us than you’re allowing yourself to feel.”

I rolled my eyes. “Give me a break, Ky.”

“Here’s the part I know you’ll love. I want you to try to
not
come on to me.”

My mouth parted in shock before I burst out laughing. “You think I can’t control myself around you? Is that it? Oh boy, you really
are
a delusional chick.”

“Did you just call me a chick?” I could see the same Kyler from back in high school, cocking his head to the side, scrunching his nose up, and looking like a dumb blonde.

“Yeah, I did. You’re being such a girl about this.” What I didn’t say was that he was also being smart. I didn’t like losing a challenge, and he knew it. “If you think you can drag me out to New York just to prove to me that there is more here than just sexual chemistry, then fine. But don’t cry about it when you see that I’m right.”

A self-assured look came over his face.

“Good. I’m leaving to go back first thing in the morning. You fly out later that day, and I’ll have everything taken care of.” He leaned down and kissed my cheek. The contact sent sparks through my body. He brought his lips to the shell of my ear and with a feather light touch, he whispered, “Just remember I caught you when you fell, Harper.”

He pulled away and turned to walk out the door. “What do you mean, ‘when I fell?’”

Kyler turned around. “When you finally realize that you’ve fallen for me … remember that I caught you, and I’ll keep hold of you … and I’ll keep holding on for as long as you’ll let me.”

Then he walked out and shut the door behind him.

“Harper, can you take Allie for a second?” Em asked.

She handed Allie over to me and I cradled her close to my body. “I’ll always hold my Allie girl.” I smiled and cooed down at her.

Em started unpacking her hospital bag and settling in. They’d just arrived home from the hospital, but I had gotten there before them to make sure the house was cleaned up. Em didn’t need anything else to worry about. Finn had left to get Chinese take-out, and I couldn’t take my eyes off of Allie. She was such a beautiful baby. Her little cherub cheeks and her short eyelashes were sweet to look at as she slept in my arms. I was glad she was sleeping. I hadn’t been around babies that much, and even though I loved children, newborns were so … needy, that they made me nervous.

“So tell me what happened with Kyler when he went to see you?” Em asked, with her back to me.

I raised my eyebrows but she didn’t see. “Figures you would know he’d stopped by. What did you two do, scheme and plan it all out?”

I wasn’t exactly mad at her for asking him questions since I was the one that had kept quiet about the split, but knowing that she had talked about me to him rubbed me the wrong way.

As if she could read my mind she said, “It wasn’t like I was talking behind your back, Harper. But I was shocked when he told me that he had nothing to do with you two not being together. I just don’t understand why you wouldn’t tell me about it?”

“It wasn’t a big deal, that’s why.”

She stopped stacking diapers on her changing table and turned to look at me. “That’s just it … it
is
a big deal. I’m your best friend and we tell each other everything.” She paused. “I want to know, just please help me understand. Ky and you are a good fit, why would you push him away?”

I thought back to the hotel room. After Ky had left my room I think I stood staring at the door for a solid hour. I couldn’t believe that I had allowed the asshat to talk me into going to New York for a week. I’d been fully prepared to hunt him down, beat him to bloody pulp, and drive his body to the mountains for ravenous bears to take care of. But when he knocked on my door and I heard his voice, all of that went out the window. My body craved him. And yet part of me had felt a tinge of sadness. I wanted to run into his arms, and yet I couldn’t.

The fact that I even had that tendency just made me want to be even more brutal the next time I saw him. Yep, I decided that I would make him eat his words. My body might well betray me and beg for his touch, but everything else he’d said was crap. We didn’t go any deeper than sex. I didn’t
do
all of that lovey-dovey relationship bullshit. Why would I? I’d seen one too many relationships around me crumble because the couple either fell out of love, or the guy decided the grass was greener. Well fuck greener. I’d rather take a shit on that greener side and be the
leaver
than the
leavee.

“Listen, Em, I don’t want to be negative. Especially not right after you’ve just had this beautiful little girl,” I said, looking down and smiling at Allie’s little face. “Can we talk about something else? Anything else … please?”

“No,” she said firmly.

I sighed deeply beginning to lose my patience. “Fine, you want to hash this out, then let’s hash it out. How long have you known me?”

She looked confused, but answered, “Just over fifteen years, why?”

“When have I
ever
done the relationship thing?”

“You never have, until Kyler.”

I let out an aggravated laugh. “That’s right. Ky was the first guy I ever tried the relationship thing with, and even
that
was a shot in the dark for me. Have you ever wondered why that is, Em?”

“Of course I have, and every time I ask you about it, you change the subject or completely ignore me. So let’s try this again, why?”

Not wanting to wake Allie, I laid her down in her pink bassinet and led Em out of the room. I was feeling exasperated and I didn’t want to yell. When we were safely in the hallway I turned and faced her.

“They all leave, Em, all of them. I know you’re going to tell me to look at you and Finn, but you are an exception to the rule. Do you know how many men I saw walk in and out of mine and my mom’s lives?” I threw my hands up in the air. Just talking about this made me feel the need to pace. I shook my head and looked to her. “Too many to count.”