Always (Family Justice Book 1) (38 page)

Meghan gasped and squeezed Stephanie’s wrist, saying, “I’m so sorry. How horrible to lose one’s mother at such an early age.”

Alex rose and poured everyone a fresh brandy. Calder watched while Stephanie took a rather large gulp and looked everywhere in the room except at any of them.

“Good news is the g-parents were amazing. Older and not prepared to parent a young child but they did their best.”

Finally, she glanced his way. Briefly. Then looked away again.
Here it comes.

“We lived near Durango.
Colorado
. Gramps ran a place called Cattle Man’s Grille House. I was sitting a horse by myself around the time I turned eight. The rodeos might be all about the boys but the barrel racing was one area where they couldn’t keep the girls on the sidelines. Have a box full of belt buckles for barrel championships, mostly junior circuit stuff.”

There wasn’t a wow that covered Calder’s reaction. The beautiful woman sitting across from him was a cowgirl at heart. He sure as shit hadn’t seen that coming.

Something like an IV drip of ice-cold water was trickling into his conscience. He’d heard
pageant
and pictured vapid runway walkers. Envisioned a
beauty queen
as yes, an empty-headed bleached blonde. Internalized the word
beauty
, because the negative connotation that notion brought to the lives of so many wonderful women would always bother him. He’d seen firsthand the solid, top-notch contributions women had brought to the early tech boom that were largely overlooked and downgraded because they didn’t fit a certain stereotypical visual of being size four and drop-dead beautiful.

Let’s see
, he mused.
How many ways can I call myself a dumbass?
Fucktard comes to mind. So does tool, asshole, moron, douche. They all applied. He had created an unflattering vision in his mind of what a fifty-year-old beauty queen running pageants in the deep South would look, sound, and act like. His first glance that morning in the gym when he’d been instantly robbed of rational thoughts, told him he was way off the mark. But he resisted those inner calls to reconsider and plowed ahead like the king of denial.

“Now that I have a bit of saddle experience, Stephanie—I’d love to ride with you some morning,” Meghan interjected.

The wide smile Stephanie gave her hostess gave the impression she was genuinely pleased by the suggestion. How could he have got this so damn wrong?

“So there you have the four-one-one on the life of.”

“How did you meet Tori’s dad?” Alex questioned. “He must have been quite a guy.”

Ah, so his nephew didn’t know everything.
Interesting.

“College. Daniel was finishing his law degree. He had one of those grad school menial bullshit work-study jobs, and I quite literally stumbled onto him at a Poly-Sci lecture he’d worked on behind-the-scenes.” She smiled wistfully, at least that was the way he read the quick sigh and lowered eyes. “I was the bright-eyed coed with dreams of breaking out of Durango. Used the pageant money to pay my way.”

The almost imperceptible but well landed glaring bull’s-eye she shot his way exploded in his groin. She was never going to let him live his stupid-ass assumptions down and somehow that thought excited him. He’d never been expected to do more than show up, shut up, and get naked in his previous relationships. Stephanie would operate on an entirely different wavelength.

“He was an only child, working his way through law school. We met. Fell in love, got married, and the rest, as they say, is history. Victoria came along pretty quickly and within a couple of years we’d moved to Atlanta where Daniel was offered a prestigious partnership at a firm specializing in international law.”

Meghan was half-reclining beside Stephanie, listening avidly with her elbow on the chaise and her head resting on the palm of her hand. “Is she very much like her father?” she asked.

Stephanie snorted a laugh. “Are you kidding? Think about it a second,” she teased with a crooked smile. “Her daddy argued for a living. You know my sweet little waif. All gentle and squishy. Not!” she cried with delight.

Alex and Meghan immediately started bellowing with happy laughter. Calder knew Tori was known for being a smart-mouthed, ass-kicking, take-no-prisoners kind of a gal. The only kind who could take down the notorious Draegyn St. John. He got the joke.

“Of course, Daniel loved her feisty nature. He gave Tori her fighting spirit. Oh, and her boundless and inexhaustible catalog of swear words, inappropriate humor, and dirty comments.”

Calder wanted to say something instead of just sitting there with his listening hat on. Careful to avoid sounding rude, he asked in a quiet, respectful voice, “Was it hard? I mean, losing your husband so young and then figuring it all out, the parenting thing—on your own?”

“The world breaks everyone, and afterward, some are strong at the broken place,” she murmured.

Calder nodded. “Hemingway.”

A man could lose his way gazing into eyes that told so much with just a simple look. She didn’t hate him. A sensation that felt an awful lot like elation built inside him.

Stephanie Bennett was still a mystery. She always would be and maybe that was the way it was supposed to be when you met your match. But the very idea, no matter how small and in its infancy, that there was even the slightest chance that he could start again with this incredible woman got his insides awake and churning.

Meghan sat up and stretched, resting the back of her hand against her mouth as she let out an exaggerated yawn. “I admire you, Stephanie. Tori is a fantastic person. I can never repay her for what she did for me.” The lovely redhead locked eyes with his nephew. “And for the Major.”

Alex grunted in agreement. “You already know I think she’s the tits and the balls. Woman has mad computer skills and what she does with numbers is just downright scary.”

Meghan nodded like Alex was sharing the gospel. “No, seriously scary!”

“She just saved us a gajillion dollars on that damn yoga studio I’m being forced to build.” He reached across the space between them and took his fiancée’s hand. “Took one look at an inventory printout then handed the contractor his over-inflated ass on a stick.”

Calder snickered. “She’s wicked, that one. Tried to convince me that Drae would fuck shit up if I did anything to mess with you while you take a step back. As if!”

Alex stood and used the grip he had on Meghan’s hand to haul her from the chaise. “Oh Unc, more like it’ll be her that fucks shit up if you mess with that husband of hers in any way!”

Even Stephanie laughed at Alex’s jest. It was true. There was something intrinsically funny about the way the little woman with the enormous pregnant belly stood her ground where any of the Justice boys were concerned. Not just Draegyn. These people were her family, and like her mother, she was strong in the most unlikely of ways.

“Okay, listen you two,” Alex drawled. “The fire is burning down and it’s getting late. If we’re past the ignoring each other and realizing the error of one’s ways portion of our program, “ he taunted with a direct raised eyebrow at Calder, “we’re going to clear out and let you two play nice with each other. Don’t make me come back and referee.
Seriously.
I love you both and I think, and Meghan agrees, that you two have more in common than you think. Comprende?”

THINGS HAD GOTTEN WEIRD AS soon as Alex and Meghan took their leave. Maybe it was them boldly stating that they should get their shit together that brought the wobble.
Crap.
Was it hot out here? Stephanie wanted to fan herself from the sudden heat that was creeping up her spine.

They were standing by the big fireplace, and Calder somehow seemed taller, broader. His size felt like it was engulfing her. Had he always been so damn big? Wishing she’d worn heels, even though the height advantage would be slight, it seemed to her as if the closer she got to him, the more vulnerable, small, and fragile she felt. These were shocking feelings since she couldn’t remember ever thinking she was any of those things.

“I think you deserve an apology, Ms. Bennett. One that I humbly offer at your feet…”

Okay, so seriously…what in the hell kind of cologne is he wearing
? It was driving her crazy and had been for days. The vanilla with touches of sandalwood and musk also held a hint of patchouli. And something else. Maybe amber. Whatever it was, the combination of scents was sensual and rich. Seductively masculine, her senses got lost imagining him in his Aspen retreat, surrounded by dark wood, with magnificent fabrics and finishes.

Would his bed pick up that scent? What would it be like to huddle under warm covers on a cold winter morning, drowning in that sublime smell? Did he wash with it, too? A scintillating vision of a steam-fogged shower with the heady aroma of a bodywash that matched the cologne set her blood pulsing.

And that hair. Good God. Longer than most, and a bit on the shaggy, don’t-give-a-shit side, she couldn’t believe the look was so exciting and sexy. Maybe it was the perfectly manicured, not a hair out of place, Italian suited men who drifted through her world with their practiced habits and manners that made this guy stand out.

While she had little doubt he’d be a panty-creamer in a nice suit, there was something about the laidback California beach style that intrigued her. The jeans. The well-worn t-shirts. The boots and the plain button down chambray shirts. He also wore a watch—one of the ridiculously expensive kind that men seem to love. It was the only thing about his outward appearance that hinted at the real man.

The Tag Heuer looked rather old-fashioned with its leather strap and plain face, but she knew a little bit about these things. The watch was thousands and thousands and thousands of dollars, what looked like a plain strap was actually alligator and the case was made of eighteen-karat rose gold. Perfect for a big man with his coloring.

She’d joked around plenty that she’d give her eyeteeth for an older version of Alex Marquez. She hadn’t counted on there actually being one.

When he looked at her with those steel blue eyes, Stephanie knew what it was like to feel her breath catch in her chest. He had what some would call an old soul vibe. He put out a calm self-assurance that stopped an nth of a degree short of outright arrogance. It was as if he knew the answers to questions nobody had thought to ask yet. A part of her she didn’t recognize wanted to curl up at his feet and surrender everything. What would it be like to let such a man take care of her?

It was his mouth that eventually claimed what was left of any coherent thoughts she clung to. What they shared had been provocative. He’d conquered her without even trying. Having never, ever been kissed like that before in her life, she kept reliving those moments over and over.

She and Daniel had enjoyed an active sex life. But they were young, foolish, in love, and in the end, together for the blink of an eye. The long years she’d been widowed far outnumbered the total of her married life. Who was to say that they wouldn’t have struggled and encountered a mid-life crisis? When a person died young, they remained—forever and always—frozen in a moment in time.

The way Calder had laid claim to her mouth was like nothing she’d ever known or even dreamed of. It was like a movie kiss with special effects. The slow motion beginning. The loud sound of blood rushing to her head as he inhaled her breath then flicked his tongue gently to the corners of her mouth. His hands cupping her face. Her lips pulsed with need—a need he answered. Masterfully so.

God. She wanted to touch him. Wanted to reach her hand out and let her fingers drift tenderly from cheek to jawbone. What would his stubble feel like? Would it be coarse and scratchy? Or would it be softer to the touch? Like his lips. Oh, those lips. The ones she couldn’t stop thinking about.

A wild throb of super-heated excitement ripped through her body—from her toes to the crown of her head—when she created a delicious scenario in her mind’s eye of Calder kissing her, only this time not quite so seductively. This time she saw wildness—a raw, lustful need that demanded.

Her senses circled round to the observation that started this scorching reverie, that he was just so damn big and that she felt vulnerable, small, and fragile. Right at that moment, if he’d opened his arms, she would willingly walk into them.

Hell, the idea of curling up in his big lap and simply gorging on his mouth sent heat shooting through her limbs.

Stephanie was completely lost in her private musings, uncharacteristically oblivious to what was happening around her. Calder had overtaken her thoughts. She looked at him, blinked a few times and tried to focus, but that sexy mouth and those making-me-go-weak-at-the-knees eyes were messing with her head.

“And so really, what I’m trying to say is…”

Oh shit. Had he been talking this whole time? And how long exactly was
this whole time
? Crud. She’d been drifting in her own little world. It was so unlike her to check out mentally and even more unlike her to be caught fantasizing about things that she knew damn well would be opening a can of worms she might not be able to handle.