Always Us (The Jade Series #8) (32 page)

“I never understood why you dated Sadie.”

“She didn’t used to be that way. Plus, she’s hot. The problem is, she knows it.”

My dad shakes his head. “I’m glad you didn’t end up choosing a woman based solely on looks.”

 
“Jade’s way hotter than Sadie. So I got lucky. I found someone I love who’s also the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.”

He nods, smiling. “I felt the same way about your mother.”

“Maybe I shouldn’t ask, but are you still seeing that woman from DC?”

“No. That ended a long time ago. I’m not seeing anyone right now. I’m trying to spend my free time with Lilly, especially now that her mother’s never around.”

My phone rings. It’s Jade.

“Yeah, I’m coming,” I tell her. “The sled is in the gardening shed. I’ll be there soon.” I put my phone away as I stand up. “You want to go sledding, Dad?”

“Sure.” He closes his laptop. “Although I probably won’t fit on the sled.”

“You’re seriously going sledding? I was kidding. I didn’t expect you to say yes.”

“I want to spend time with my children.” He hangs his arm off my shoulder as we walk out of the office. “I haven’t been sledding since you were a kid. Remember when I took you to that hill by our old house? That was a steep hill. I didn’t think you’d go down it.”

“I loved that hill. You could really get some speed going on that thing.”

We get our coats and head out back. Jade and Lilly have a small snowman already built. I check it out while my dad gets the sled. Lilly’s shocked when she sees my dad out there. I’m a little shocked myself. He keeps surprising me with this stuff. I keep thinking that one day he’ll return to the cold, uncaring father he was during my teen years. But instead, he’s becoming more and more like the dad I knew as a kid. And if Katherine’s out of the picture, I think he’ll become even more like that dad.

The four of us go out to the small hill that Jade and I took Lilly sledding on last year, but my dad thinks it’s lame. He’s right. It sucks. So we take the sled and pile into his SUV and head to a real sledding hill. Jade keeps giving me this look like she can’t figure my dad out. I just smile and kiss her and tell her to go with it.

On the way to the sledding hill, my dad stops at the store and gets three more sleds so we each have one. We go to the same park Jade and I went to last year. It has a big, steep hill that’s great for sledding. Lilly’s too scared to go down it by herself so my dad goes with her. It’s good he’s doing this. It helps take her mind off her grandfather being gone. She’s smiling and laughing as the sled hits some bumps on the hill. It reminds me of myself at her age, out sledding with my dad.

We stay there all afternoon, then go home and change into dry clothes. My dad orders pizza and asks Charles to join us for dinner. After Lilly goes to bed, my dad, Jade, Charles, and I play poker at the kitchen table.

I hate to admit it, but I almost forgot the reason why I’m here. We’re all having such a good time that we’re not even thinking about my grandfather. Is that bad? Maybe. But like I told Jade after Sadie left the other night, you can’t choose your relatives, and just because you’re related doesn’t mean you have to like them. And I didn’t like my grandfather. And after I found out what he’d done, and what he planned to do, I hated him.

My dad and I tried for years to please him, hoping that one day he might actually give a shit about us, but he never did. He wanted us to suffer. He didn’t want us to be happy. So I don’t feel guilty about having fun today instead of mourning his death. I don’t think my dad does either.

I don’t bother asking my dad about my grandmother. She knows I’m leaving tomorrow and apparently has no interest in saying goodbye to her grandson. I don’t understand her. Sometimes, she’s warm and caring, like she is with Lilly, and sometimes she’s cold and distant.

“Maybe we could shower in the morning,” Jade says as she closes the door to my room and locks it. We just came upstairs after finishing our last poker game.

“It already
is
morning.” I unbutton her shirt as I kiss her. Playing poker with her got me turned on. I don’t know if it’s because she’s so competitive, or that she’s good at it, or just the fact that I find it sexy when a girl plays poker. But I’m all fired up and not the least bit tired.

“It’s one-fifteen. We should get to sleep.”

“Or we could take a shower.” I slip her shirt down over her arms, letting it drop to the floor. “Hot steam.” I kiss her neck. “Wet skin. My warm hands all over your body.” She tilts her head to the side and closes her eyes as my lips move up her neck to her ear. “You sure you wanna wait?”

She smiles. “I swear, someday I’ll say no to you. Just not tonight.”

I strip the rest of her and haul her off to the shower.

And then, a half hour later, we finally go to sleep.

In the morning, as we’re packing up to leave, Sean calls. I haven’t talked to him for days. Every time I call him his phone goes straight to voicemail. He’s in LA now and working at his new job.

“Hey, stranger,” I say when I answer.

“Yeah, I know. I’ve been working a lot. I wasn’t able to call you back. Sorry.”

“I’m just giving you a hard time. So do you like the job?”

“Yeah, it’s great. Way better than my last one.”

“How’s your new place?”

“Good. It’s small, but it’s clean and in a decent area. I have to work this afternoon, but I wanted to give you a quick call. Let you know I’m still alive.”

He shouldn’t joke about that. With the organization after him, I feel like I
do
need to check that he’s alive.

“How was the funeral?” he asks. “I mean, not like it was good or anything, but are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. We didn’t go to the funeral. Just a memorial service here at my house. We’re leaving today.”

“Will you guys be around during Christmas?”

“We’ll be back here for a week, but after that we’ll be home. Why?”

“Just wondering if you guys wanted to come to LA for a few days. You could come to the restaurant. I’ll cook you something.”

“Sure, we can do that. We have four weeks off for winter break.”

“What about the photographers? You think they’ll leave you alone?”

I always forget about that. Where we live, nobody bothers me, but if I go to LA, I risk being recognized.

“I’m not worried about it. I’ll disguise myself. Maybe I’ll grow a beard.”

He laughs. “There are so many famous people around here, chances are nobody will notice you. I’ve already seen three movie stars and I’ve only been here a week.”

“Get used it. They’re everywhere out there.”

“I gotta go, but I’ll call you later. Have a safe trip back.”

“Thanks. See ya.”

“Was that Sean?” Jade asks as she zips up the suitcase.

“Yeah. He wants us to go see him in LA over winter break.”

“What about the photographers?”

I shrug. “I’ll wear a hat and won’t shave for a week. Nobody will recognize me.”

“I wonder if Harper will try to see him when she’s home.”

“She better not. She needs to stay away from him.”

Jade sets the suitcase upright. “It’s ready to go.”

As we walk down the stairs, part of me is hoping to see my grandmother there, waiting to say goodbye. But she’s not there. It’s just my dad and Lilly waiting to take Jade and me to the airport.

As we’re on the plane heading home, I keep thinking about how much has changed the past year. Not just with me, but with my family. And with my grandfather gone, and my dad and Katherine getting divorced, things will continue to change. It makes me wonder what life will be like a year from now. A lot can change in a year.

JADE

Ever since Garret and I got married, I’ve done a lot of thinking about being a mom. I’ve talked to my counselor about my fears and I’ve started to address those fears. And I’ve made a decision about having kids. I’ve decided that it’s definitely something I want. Not right now, but in the future.

Even though I’ve made this decision, sometimes my fears creep back in my head when I think about my childhood and hear my mom yelling at me. But like I told the women I gave that speech to, life is full of choices and those choices determine what path you end up on. When I said those words, I was describing my past, but those words also apply to my future. I can make the choice to be a good mom. To be completely different than my own mom.

 
The past doesn’t have to dictate the future. And I have examples of that right in front of me. Like my friend, Sara. She grew up with a bad mom and yet Sara is one of the greatest moms I know.
 

Then I think of Pearce. Holton was a terrible father and yet Pearce isn’t like that. Despite his dad’s influence on him, Pearce tries really hard to be a good father. In fact, this past weekend, seeing Pearce being such a great dad to Garret and Lilly just reaffirmed my decision to have kids. I don’t know what Holton was like when Pearce was a kid, but I’m guessing he was abusive to his son. Maybe not physically, but emotionally. And Pearce had to put up with that for years. So if he can be a good dad, despite having Holton as a father, then I can be a good mom.

“Jade, we’re getting ready to land.” Garret’s voice wakes me from my thoughts. I’m resting on his shoulder with my eyes closed.
 

“That was fast.” I sit up and stretch a little.

“Fast? We’ve been flying all day.”

“I slept for most of the flight so it seemed fast to me.”

“I wish I could sleep on planes, but I just can’t get comfortable.”

“What have you been doing all this time?”

“Studying for finals. And then I was reading this.” He holds up a business magazine. “There was an article in here about the guy who owns WaveField Sports. The guy who offered to be my mentor.”

“Yeah, what did it say?”

“They interviewed him and he said he wants to start a new company. He didn’t say what it would be, but he said he’ll need to put all his efforts into the new company, which means he’ll probably be selling WaveField.”

“That’s too bad. You think he’ll still be your mentor?”

“Well, yeah. It doesn’t matter what company he owns. He can still teach me stuff. It’s just that I was really interested in the sporting goods company, but I’m sure he won’t sell it right away. He’ll probably wait a couple years.”

The speaker above me blares as the pilot announces we’re about to land.

Garret holds my hand, like he always does during takeoffs and landings.

“Hey.” He says it quickly, and when I look at him, he gives me a kiss just as the wheels touch down, and he keeps kissing me until the plane comes to a stop. “Thought I’d distract you this time.”

“Thanks. You should do that every time.”

“It’s a deal.” He gives my hand a squeeze, then gets up and stands in the aisle. “My legs are killing me. Too much sitting. I need to walk around.”

“Let’s take a walk on the beach when we get home.”

He agrees and we exit the plane, then get our luggage and head to the car. It’s warm and sunny outside, a complete contrast to the winter wonderland we left back in Connecticut. That storm dumped eight inches of snow on the ground, making it seem a lot more like December than it does here. I kind of miss not having the four seasons anymore, but the warm weather is a lot better than the bitterly cold weather we just left.

Garret and I have a quick dinner, then go out on the beach and stroll along the sand. We walk for about a mile, then turn around.

“Kiefer wants to drive up here and talk to me,” Garret announces when we’re almost back at the house.

“Why does he want to talk to you?”

“I think he wants to ask me questions about the organization.”

“Why you? If he has questions, he can ask your dad.”

“My dad will just tell him what he wants to hear. That being a member is great and wonderful and a privilege and whatever other bullshit lies they tell their members, or future members in Kiefer’s case. My dad can’t tell him the truth. He’d get in trouble if he did.”

“You think Kiefer’s having second thoughts?”

He shrugs. “I have no idea. But I’m going to call him and tell him I can’t talk to him. I told him I would that night of the memorial, but I only said it to get him away from me. He was drunk and he wouldn’t go away unless I agreed to meet with him. He didn’t say what he wanted to talk about, but it has to be the organization. Anything else he could’ve just asked me that night or later over the phone.”

“We keep getting sucked into this, Garret. When will it end?”

He stops and faces me, holding both my hands. “It already has. And I’m not just saying that to make you feel better. My grandfather is gone. Roth is dead. The members have no interest in me. The only connection we have to them now is my dad and your uncle.”

“That’s a pretty close connection.”

“Yes, but it’s not a direct connection. And the organization doesn’t want to deal with me anymore. Last spring, I caused them too much trouble. I wasted too much of their time. They’re not going to spend even more time coming after me. I’m telling you, Jade. The only people who wanted me back are Roth and my grandfather and now they’re both dead.”

“Do you think someone killed Roth?”

“Maybe. He has a lot of enemies so it wouldn’t surprise me if someone rigged his car to blow up. I’m surprised it hasn’t happened sooner.”

“Who are his enemies? Like other members?”

“Not members, but people he’s screwed over. Like men he hired to do his shit and then didn’t pay because he didn’t want anything being linked back to him. Or people he made deals with, but then he didn’t do his side of the deal. Guys like Roth are arrogant. They think they can get away with shit, but they can’t. At least not always.”

I don’t want to tell Garret this, but there were thoughts floating around my head that maybe his dad killed Roth, or hired someone to do it. Ever since Roth showed up last July, I had this feeling he’d try to get Garret back in the organization. I think Garret and Pearce thought so, too. They just wouldn’t admit it. So in the back of my mind, I wondered if Pearce would do something to get Roth out of our lives, but it sounds like someone else did that for us. Or maybe it really was just a car accident.