Amanda Ashley (16 page)

Kelly tapped her fingertips on the tabletop, her gaze moving restlessly over the crowd. Several couples were dancing to some sad country song. She stared at the drink in her hand, so far untouched. She hadn’t craved a drink while living with Edward, but for the past week it had been all she could think about. Just one drink to help her forget, to ease her loneliness—her sense of having betrayed him, failed him. As she had failed at so many things.

She lifted a hand to her neck, wondering what was wrong with her that she should miss his teeth at her throat. It had been strangely erotic, having him drink her blood. She missed his dry humor, the touch of his gaze moving over her, hot not only with hunger but with desire. He had wanted her. She had known that from the first, yet he had ever been a gentleman. She remembered his kisses, the strength of his arms around her. No matter that he was a vampire, she had felt safe in his embrace. Protected.

Loved.

She pushed the drink away. Drugs, pills, booze. They weren’t the answer to her problems. They never had been.

Rising, she picked up her handbag and left the bar. It was raining. Grimacing, she crossed her arms over her breasts and hurried down the street, wishing she were closer to home.

At first, she thought it was just her imagination, but then she heard it again, the sound of a heavy footstep. She paused, as if she were tying her shoe, and glanced behind her but saw no one. She wanted to run; instead, she walked briskly, her head up, her shoulders back.
Don’t look like a victim
. Moving around the corner to the parking lot, she fished her car keys out of her purse.

She was slipping the key in the lock when a hand fell on her shoulder and spun her around. Before she could scream, he clapped his other hand over her mouth.

He was big. In the dark, that was her first and only impression. He dragged her toward the back of the parking lot, slammed her up against the wall of a building. Her stomach churned at the sour smell of his breath, roiled with fear as he grabbed a handful of her hair and bent his head toward hers.

She repeated the words over and over again as her attacker forced her down to the ground, his hands hot and heavy at her throat . . .

 

 

Ramsey whirled around, surprised when he didn’t see Kelly standing behind him. Her voice had sounded so real, so near. It took him a moment to realize he was hearing her cry for help in his head.

He let his intended victim fall to the ground untouched. Seconds later, he was moving through the night with preternatural speed, his passing no more than a blur, a cool ripple in the air.

He took in the scene at a glance: Kelly writhing on the ground, her shirt torn, one eye black, the man pinning her down with one hand at her throat while the other tugged at her jeans. Rage consumed him, filled him, enveloped him, until his only thought was to destroy the man who had dared attack his woman.

Silent as death itself, he struck. Lifting the man as though he weighed nothing at all, he hurled him against the wall. There was a sickening crunch of bone as the man struck the wall, then landed in a puddle of rainwater. He didn’t move. The scent of blood filled Ramsey’s senses, but for once he had no desire to feed—knew he would rather starve to death than touch a drop of the man’s blood.

Kelly looked up at him, dazed, a trickle of blood oozing from her lower lip. “Edward,” she gasped, her voice raw. “You came.”

She groaned when he scooped her up in his arms.

Ramsey brushed a kiss across her brow. “I’m sorry.” Holding her gently, he willed them to his house.

He sent his thoughts ahead so that when they arrived, the lights were on, a fire burned in the hearth, a hot bath awaited her.

When he would have put her down, she clung to him, her face buried in the hollow of his shoulder. Great, shuddering sobs racked her body.

“We need to get you out of these wet things,” Ramsey said.

“Not now; just hold me, please.”

Feeling awkward and uncertain, tormented by her nearness, by the hunger she aroused in him, he dropped down into the easy chair beside the fire and held her close, one hand lightly stroking her hair.

“Did he . . . Kelly, did he . . . ?” He could find no tactful way to ask if she had been raped.

“No. You got there before he . . . before . . .” Tears flooded her eyes, soaked his shirt.

For the first time since Chiavari had given him the Dark Gift, Ramsey was grateful to be a vampire, grateful for the power that came with it. This night, he had truly killed a monster, he thought, and it hadn’t been a vampire.

He held her and rocked her until her tears subsided, and then he took her upstairs. Keeping his gaze averted, he helped her out of her damp clothes, lifted her into the tub.

When he turned to go, she caught his hand. “Stay with me.”

“Kelly . . .”

“Please. I don’t want to be alone.”

He glanced over his shoulder, relieved to see that bubbles covered her up to her shoulders. Certain he was making a mistake, he sat on the edge of the tub, his hands clenched at his sides. Did she know what she was doing to him?

“Are you sure you’re all right?” he asked.

She nodded. “I am now.” She ran her hand over his shirtfront. “You’re all wet.”

He shrugged. Rain, heat, cold: he was impervious to it all now.

“How have you been, Edward?”

He frowned at her. “How can you worry about me after what happened to you tonight?”

She lifted one hand to her face, winced when her fingertips touched the bruise on her left cheek. “I don’t want to think about that. Not now.”

He looked at the bruises on her face, thought of what that monster would have done to her, and was glad all over again that he had gotten there in time.

When she began to wash, he stood up and turned his back to her, but he couldn’t shut out the sound of the water sloshing around her, couldn’t keep his imagination from going wild, couldn’t help wishing it were his hand holding the cloth that was moving over her body.

“Edward?” she called softly. “I need a towel.”

He jumped as though scalded. Keeping his back to her, he pulled a towel from the shelf and handed it back to her.

She stood up, and he heard the water sluicing down her body. An aching need pulsed through him. He swore softly. Was she deliberately trying to drive him crazy?

He plucked his robe off the back of the door and offered it to her, again without looking at her.

He cursed his preternatural hearing, which allowed him to hear each move she made, no matter how small or how quiet. He could hear the cloth whispering over her skin as she slipped into his robe, hear her tying the sash around her waist. Hear each breath. He cursed the difference in their ages. She was young and fresh, with her whole life shining before her. He had been almost twice her age when Chiavari brought him across, and now he felt ancient, corrupted, a creature of the night whose soul was shrouded in blood and death and darkness.

He went suddenly still at the touch of her hand on his back.

“Thank you for saving me, Edward.”

Slowly he turned to face her. “I will always be here when you need me, Kelly.”

She looked up at him, her gaze intent upon his face. “Always?”

Unspoken between them was the knowledge that he did not want his life to go on, that he had tried to end his existence and failed.

“Kelly . . .”

“Always, Edward? Can you promise me always?”

“Will you stay with me this time, Kelly, no matter what happens?”

“Yes.”

“Then I promise I will be here for you for as long as you wish it. You are the only light left for me,” he said, his voice thick. “I don’t think I am strong enough to go on without you. Promise me you’ll never leave me again.”

Her hand cupped his cheek. “I promise.” She tilted her head to one side, a faint smile curving her mouth. “Do you think we should seal our vows with a kiss?”

He slid his arms around her waist and slowly drew her toward him. “Kelly . . .”

Rising on her tiptoes, she put her arms around him and murmured, “Kiss me, Edward.”

The press of her body against his, the whisper of her breath across his face, filled him with an aching tenderness the likes of which he had never known. He drew her closer, crushing her breasts against his chest. Sweet, so sweet. He kissed her tenderly at first, afraid to hurt her, afraid that he would somehow repulse her, that she would change her mind and pull away.

He was startled when he felt her hips move against his groin, felt her hands slide down to cup his buttocks, felt the tip of her tongue brush his lower lip.

“Kelly . . .” He gasped her name as desire flared within him, hot and bright as Fourth of July firecrackers.

She opened her eyes and smiled up at him, a lazy seductive smile. “Yes, Edward?”

He cleared his throat. “What are you doing?”

“What does it feel like I’m doing, silly? I’m kissing you. Isn’t that what you wanted?”

“Yes, but . . .”

“But?”

“Before when we kissed . . . that time on the beach . . . you said . . .” He was almost stammering. “I mean, you said we needed to slow down.”

“Well, that was then,” she said softly. “And this is now. A girl can change her mind, can’t she? And I’ve changed my mind.” She looked up at him, her eyes shining. “Have you?”

“I . . .” He felt his breath catch in his throat. He had hunted dangerous vampires, looked death in the face, but nothing had ever frightened him quite so much as his attraction to the woman gazing up at him through the thick veil of her lashes.

“What is it?” she asked. “What’s wrong? You want me. I know you do.”

“More than I have ever wanted anything,” he admitted. “But I can’t. Not now.”

“Why?”

“I’m afraid I am not in control.” The violence earlier, the smell of blood from his victim, the rush of the kill, the musky scent rising from Kelly: all called to the beast within him. Hunger clawed at his vitals, squeezing tighter, tighter, until the pain was unbearable.

She moved toward him, one hand outstretched.

He drew back. “Don’t!”

Her arm fell to her side. “Should I leave?”

He shook his head miserably, afraid she had misunderstood. “I need—that is . . . oh, Kelly.”

Damn it, it was humiliating to need her like this, to have to ask her for that which no one should take.

But he didn’t have to ask. Seeing the torment in his eyes, she lifted the hair from her neck, turned her head to one side. “Take what you need, Edward.”

“Damn it, Kelly . . .”

“Just do it, Edward,” she said, her voice thick. “I want you to . . .”

A low growl rose in his throat as he lowered his head, the beast stretching its claws, coming to life, rejoicing in what he was about to do. He felt his fangs lengthen, heard the increased beat of her heart, smelled her fear and her excitement as his hands curved over her shoulders, holding her firmly in place.

“Do it,” she urged gently. She was trembling. “Do it. I want you to, Edward . . . but don’t hurt me, please.”

He drew back. Took a deep breath. This was Kelly. He needed her. She trusted him. Exerting every ounce of self-control he possessed, he lowered his head again. Ran his tongue over her neck in a loving caress.

Groaned softly as he took what she offered.

Wept, as he felt her hand caress his cheek.

“It’s all right, Edward,” she said with a sigh. “It’s all right.”

Closing his eyes, he let her sweetness assuage his unnatural hunger even as her nearness fanned the flames of his desire.

Marisa was seated at a corner table when Kelly entered the restaurant. She was a pretty woman, Kelly thought—impeccably dressed in a beige suit and white silk blouse.

“Meeting for lunch was a good idea,” Marisa said, smiling as Kelly took the seat across from her. “I’m glad you called.”

“I’m sorry I’m late.” Kelly spread her napkin in her lap. “Did you order already?”

“No. I’m in no rush.”

“The days are long sometimes, aren’t they?” Kelly said wistfully.

Marisa nodded. “Indeed, they are. And getting longer as the season wears on. I’m not looking forward to summer at all. Shall we order?”

Kelly nodded. Marisa ordered a Chinese chicken salad and iced tea; Kelly ordered a turkey club sandwich and lemonade.

When the waitress left the table, Marisa leaned forward. “I have a feeling there’s more to this meeting than just lunch. Is something bothering you?”

“I’m in love with Eddie.”

“Eddie!” Marisa laughed. “I’ve never heard anyone call him that.”

Kelly grinned self-consciously. “I don’t call him that out loud, but that’s how I think of him.” She placed her hand over her heart. “In here.”

“Does he feel the same about you?”

“I don’t know. I hope so.”

“But?”

“He scares me sometimes,” Kelly said, her voice low and urgent. “He’s so unhappy being a vampire. Did you know he tried to kill himself?”

“Grigori told me.”

“It was awful.” She shuddered with the memory. “I found him in the cellar. I was sure he was dead. His skin was horribly burned, and . . .” She broke off.

“And you’re afraid he’ll try again?”

“Yes. But what really scares me is the way he seems to need my blood. He says it soothes him. Why should my blood be any different from anyone else’s? And what if someday he can’t stop? What if he . . . ?” She couldn’t say the words out loud.

Marisa covered Kelly’s hand with her own. “I don’t think Edward would ever hurt you, deliberately or otherwise. He’s a strong man. As for why your blood soothes him, I’m sure it’s because he loves you. And the need for blood lessens as vampires age, if that’s any comfort.”

“Are you happy with Grigori? Are you ever sorry you married him?”

“Happy, yes. Sorry, no.”

“But what about children?”

“That’s difficult. I always wanted a big family. But I love Grigori with all my heart and soul. I can’t imagine a life without him. And someday . . .”

“Someday what?”

“I’ll become what he is so we can be together forever.”

Kelly’s eyes widened. “You want to be a vampire?”

“Not really, but it’s the only way we can truly be together forever.”

“I think it would be wonderful to be a vampire,” Kelly confided. “Oh, not the blood part. I’m not sure I could do that. But just think: never to grow old, never to be sick. I could live without the sun. I’ve always been a night person, anyway. But the blood part . . .” She shook her head. “I just don’t think I could do that.”

Marisa drew her hand away and leaned back in her chair when the waitress arrived with their order.

Kelly grinned at Marisa when the waitress left the table. “Do you think she heard what we were talking about?”

Marisa laughed softly. “I hope not. You know, I read up on vampires a little after I met Grigori. It’s no wonder no one believes in them. I mean, one book said that you could become a vampire if a cat jumped over your corpse, or if you were the seventh son of a seventh son. Who would ever believe such nonsense?”

“Well,” Kelly said thoughtfully, “I suppose superstitions were a lot stronger in the past. I think people found ways to explain the unexplainable the best way they could.”

“Yes, I suppose so.”

They ate in silence for a few moments. Kelly glanced around, wondering what people would think if they knew she was in love with a vampire. Vampires in Los Angeles. Who would believe it? Sitting here, in a cozy restaurant, it seemed impossible.

She lifted a hand to her neck, felt a warmth where Edward had bitten her the night before. She had a sudden mental image of him lying in the cellar, trapped in his deathlike sleep.

“Have you ever asked Grigori what it’s like for him during the day?”

“Of course. He told me it’s natural for him to sleep during the day. He also told me that only young vampires are helpless when they sleep. He said he could sense the presence of others. I know there were times when he was aware I was in the room. He can stay awake a little after daybreak, and he can rise before the sun sets now. He told me that vampires, like humans, have a strong instinct for survival.” Marisa paused a moment before going on. “He’s also told me that the blood in Edward’s veins is very powerful.”

“Oh? Why is that?”

“Edward was brought across by Grigori. Grigori was brought across by Khira. Both of them are very old and very powerful. And he also has the blood of Alexi Kristov. It’s a powerful combination. I should imagine he will soon be able to remain awake after sunrise and awaken before sunset. And as I said, the need for blood lessens as they grow older.”

Kelly looked thoughtful for a moment. “So,” she mused, “if Edward were to make me a vampire, would I be as strong as he is?”

“I would think so.”

“How long are you going to wait until you let Grigori—what’s the term? Bring you across?”

“I’m not sure. I was going to do it this year, after Christmas, but I think I’ll wait a few more years. I want to spend as much time as I can with my family, especially my parents. Summer’s coming. My folks have a cabin up at Big Bear, and we always spend a part of the summer up there. We usually go up there for Easter, too, and sometimes for the Fourth, or for Christmas. That’s especially nice, with the snow and all.”

“Sounds like fun,” Kelly said wistfully. “I don’t have any family—well, my mother, but she moved to England when she got married again. I haven’t seen her in, gosh, must be four or five years.”

“I’m sorry. You’re welcome to the come up to the cabin with us this summer.”

“I don’t think so. I’m afraid to leave Eddie alone, you know?”

Marisa nodded. “Another time, maybe, when he’s more at ease with what he is.”

“Do you have a big family?”

“Not really. Besides my mom and dad, there’s just my brother, Mike, and his wife, Barbara, and their four kids. But we’re close. And we always have a good time when we get together.”

Kelly nodded enviously. Her only family was her mother and her father, unless she counted her mother’s three ex-husbands and her dad’s two ex-wives. “Is Grigori going with you?”

“If he does, he won’t stay with us at the cabin. It’s a little difficult to explain why he sleeps all day.”

“I guess it would be,” Kelly said, grinning. “Of course, you could always tell them the truth. Who would believe it?”

“I don’t know,” Marisa said, her expression somber. “Maybe no one. But if just one person believes, well, you have to be careful, Kelly. The word
vampire
is like the word
shark.
People panic at the mere mention of either one.”

“Well, I guess that’s true. But sharks are a real threat. No one believes in vampires these days.”

“I do,” Marisa said. “You do.”

“Good point.”

“Did Edward tell you that there’s a vampire hunter in town?”

“A vampire hunter? You mean like Van Helsing in Dracula?”

“Yes, and he knows Edward.”

“He didn’t mention it to me.”

“I’m sure he didn’t want to worry you. Kelly, don’t be afraid to love Edward. He needs it more than anyone I’ve ever known.”

 

 

Kelly thought about Marisa’s words while she drove home. While she cleaned the house. While she showered and brushed her hair. She dressed in a silky green blouse and black jeans and then went downstairs. She tried to read the paper while she ate dinner, but she saw Marisa’s words in the newsprint, heard them while she did the dishes and put them away.
Don’t be afraid to love Edward. He needs it more than anyone I’ve ever known.

It was raining again. She lit a fire in the hearth, then curled up on the sofa to wait for Edward to rise.

She loved him. If he loved her, perhaps they could have a life together. She had already adjusted to his lifestyle. Perhaps . . .

She felt his presence in the room, turned slowly to face him. His eyes, a deep fathomless blue, gazed back at her. A flame burned in their depths—a hunger that went beyond desire, beyond need.

He glided toward her, soundless, a predator on the scent of blood. Her gaze moved over him. He wasn’t darkly handsome like Grigori. Grigori looked like a vampire should look, with his black hair and eyes. But not Edward. Dressed in a white sweater and gray slacks, he looked like the angel she had once thought him to be.

Her heart pounded wildly, thundering in her ears, as he sat down on the sofa beside her. “Edward.” His name slid past her lips, hardly more than a whisper.

“Don’t be afraid of me,” he said.

“I’m not.” It was a lie, and they both knew it.

“I will not hurt you; I swear it.”

She offered him her throat, closed her eyes as he bent his head toward her. His breath was warm against her neck, his hand cool on her arm. There was no pain this time, only waves of pleasure that were oddly sensual.

“Kelly?”

Her eyelids fluttered open and she stared up at him. “It didn’t hurt at all this time.”

“Guess I’m getting better at it,” he muttered.

“I love you, Eddie.”

“Eddie?” He swore softly. “No one has ever called me that.”

“I’m sorry, I won’t do it again.”

“No, no, I like it.” He stared at her, blinked, and blinked again. “What did you say?”

“I love you.”

“Kelly!” He shook his head. “You can’t.”

“But I do.” Tears burned her eyes. “You’re still in love with Marisa, aren’t you? She’s beautiful. I had lunch with her today.”

“You did?”

She had shocked him this time; she could see it in his eyes. “Yes. We had a nice visit.”

“What did you talk about?” he asked, his voice wary.

“What do you think?”

“That’s what I was afraid of.” He shook his head. “And you’re still here.”

“She told me there’s a vampire hunter in town. Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I didn’t want to worry you.”

“That’s what she said. Is it someone you know, from before?”

Ramsey nodded. “He is an old friend. We have worked together in the past.”

“Does he know? Did you tell him?”

“Hell, no. He probably would have staked me on the spot.”

“But you said he’s your friend!”

“He was, when I was human. He would be my enemy now, as I would have been his if the situation were reversed.”

“I’m sorry, Eddie.”

“Kelly.” His hand stroked her cheek, slid around to cup the back of her head, slowly drew her closer.

Her eyelids fluttered down as he kissed her. His kiss was warm and tender. She felt his need, his desire. His loneliness. Once again, she heard Marisa’s voice in the back of her mind.
Don’t be afraid to love Edward. He needs it more than anyone I’ve ever known.

Almost as if she could read his mind, she knew it was true, knew he had been lonely most of his life. He had dedicated his heart and soul to destroying those he considered evil, and now, in a cruel twist of fate, he had become what he hunted. He had lost his reason for living, and the loneliness, the emptiness, was slowly eating him alive.

She put her arms around him and drew him closer, her body pressing against his, her hands moving restlessly over his back, under his sweater. His skin felt warm beneath her fingertips. Her blood had done that.

She was breathless when they drew apart. She gazed into his eyes a moment, and then she kissed him, her tongue sliding over his lower lip. He gasped, his arms tightening around her, crushing her close.

“Eddie . . .”

“Kelly, I . . . we shouldn’t . . .”

“Don’t stop,” she whispered. “Please don’t stop.”

“Have you ever . . . you know?”

She titled her head to the side, a question in her eyes. “Made love, you mean?”

He nodded.

“Of course. Haven’t you?”

“Just once,” he admitted. And then wondered if Marisa had told her about Khira. Girl talk! He was in uncharted waters in every direction. “Well . . . twice,” he amended.

She was smiling at him tenderly. “You still remember how, don’t you?”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“Why not? Oh!” Her cheeks turned scarlet. “You can’t, can you? That’s why Marisa can’t have children. Oh, Eddie, I’m sorry.”

He looked at her, his brow furrowed, his mouth agape. And then he laughed. “Is that what you think? That I’m a eunuch?”

“Yes. No. I don’t know. I thought . . . Marisa said . . .”

“Vampires are sterile, Kelly. The dead cannot create life.” His arms fell to his sides, and he stood up. “This will never work.”

She reached for his hand, pressed it to her breast. “It doesn’t matter.”

“Of course it matters. You are a young woman with your whole life ahead of you. You deserve a man—a whole man, one who can give you children, one who can share your whole life, not just half of it.”

“It doesn’t matter. None of that matters.”

“Damn it, Kelly . . .”

“It’s true. I love you, Eddie, for better or worse. You said you loved me before. Did you mean it? If you don’t, say so, and I’ll leave, but if you do, then at least give us a chance. Please give us a chance.”

He dropped to his knees in front of her. “I do love you, may heaven help us both. I love you more than I have ever loved anyone. And I need you, more than you can imagine.” His knuckles stroked her cheek. “And not just your blood. But I’m so afraid . . .”