Read Amanda's Blue Marine Online
Authors: Doreen Owens Malek
“I’ll call veterans services on Monday. I’ll even go there if you want,” he said.
“I’ll go with you,” Mandy said quickly.
He gave a short burst of a laugh. “You are relentless, Red,” he said.
Mandy put her head on his shoulder.
“You’re a very persuasive young lady, Miss Redfield,” he added. “Have you ever thought about going into the law?”
Mandy kissed his neck, pushing his sweater aside with her nose and nuzzling him tenderly.
“Do you really think you can hang in with me through this?” he asked, after a long pause. She felt the tension in his arm across her back.
“I know I can.”
“I have a feeing it will get very…rocky.”
“Like it hasn’t been rocky so far?” Mandy said dryly.
She felt him laugh quietly and the muscles in his arm relaxed.
“James Cameron, suspension from the police force, attempted murder?” she went on. “A little talk therapy should be a breeze.”
“It won’t be ‘a little.’ I’ll be opening up a can of worms.”
“We’ll get through it, Brendan. I know it won’t be a walk in the park. You don’t want to talk about Iraq, not even to me, and you’ll have to do that every day if you’re going to derive some benefit from the therapy.”
His only answer was a slow sigh that she felt escape his chest gradually as she lay next to him.
“But I’ll be with you,” she added.
“For sure?”
“For sure.”
She sat up and looked at him. “Hungry? You look a little…”
“Ragged?” he said, smiling slightly. “It might just be the conversation.”
“Even so, I plan to feed you. You have to be hungry by now. First it was the gourmet delight of prison food, and then I’ve been working you pretty hard since you got here.”
“I’ve been meaning to talk to you about your sexual demands, counselor. You really need to give me a break. A man in my condition needs his rest.”
“What condition is that?”
“Jailbird,” he said ruefully.
Mandy shook her head. “Just a weary marine requiring a square meal.”
“What do you propose to do about it, Julia Child?” Kelly asked teasingly.
“I can scramble an egg, Brendan,” Mandy replied, insulted. “You’d be better off with that than the pizza diet. I thought you athletic types were all into nutrition. You would make a dietician weep.”
“Look who’s talking. Who’s that redhead who’s been eating the pizza with me? We could go to my place if you want variety. I have a lifetime supply of stale cereal in the cabinets and several half empty outdated milk cartons in the fridge.”
“Oh, hell. I’ll order something later,” Mandy said, surrendering to fate.
He drew her back into his arms. They sat for a while curled up together until he broke the silence by saying, “Have I thanked you for pulling your old boyfriend off my back?”
“In every way but words, yes.”
“Thank you. In words.”
“You’re welcome.”
“Whatever you did, it could not have been easy.”
“You have never been easy, Brendan. I’m used to it.”
“Why do you stay with me, baby?” he asked softly, kissing the top of her head. “It seems to be the question on everyone’s mind.”
“Tom Henderson isn’t everyone,” Mandy replied tartly. “Neither is my mother.”
“How about Karen, or even the guy who delivers the pizzas? He thinks I’ve kidnapped Little Red Riding Hood. What is it that holds you?”
“I think it’s the dimples, and that little dent in your lower lip.” She looked up at him and touched it gently.
“What about it?” He pursed his lips and kissed her forefinger.
“I like it.”
“My brother Mike has it too.”
“I’m sure it looks better on you.”
The rain got loud again and Kelly said, “We have a couple of days before I can get in touch with the vets. It’s pouring like gangbusters and I just got out of jail. What do you say to staying in bed all weekend and facing real life again on Monday?”
“I’m for it, of course. But we might starve before then.”
“Not as long as the pizza delivery van can get through the rain.”
“Where’s my phone?” Amanda said, looking around for her purse. She found it on the floor. “Sausage, anchovies, extra cheese?”
“Anchovies?” Kelly said, assuming a revolted expression.
“Just checking to see if you were paying attention, Brendan,” Amanda replied, opening her cell phone.
She placed the order as he watched her, his gaze fixed on her face.
16
The rain had tapered off and Kelly could barely hear it as he got up from the bed and went into Amanda’s elaborate kitchen to get a drink. He spent almost all of his time with her at his place because she sensed that he was uncomfortable with the lofty surroundings and questionable memories at her condo complex. So her apartment still had its mysteries for him. The kitchen had a flat modern design which made all the appliances look like they blended into the walls, so when there he was always stumbling around trying to find things that should be obvious, like the refrigerator. He selected the correct cabinet, which looked exactly like the other large square cabinets, and then grinned involuntarily when he pulled open the door.
There were three bottles of diet soda and half of a sandwich wrapped in waxed paper inside the refrigerator.
And she had the nerve to criticize his eating habits? It was a sad fact that they were both hopeless in that department and unlikely to change. He grabbed a soda bottle and unscrewed the cap, taking a long drink from it and then walking barefoot back to the bedroom.
Amanda was sleeping with the blanket pulled up to her chin, her expression relaxed. With her long hair cascading to her naked shoulders and her lips barely parted to display a scrap of pink tongue, she looked very young.
Kelly lay down next to her on the bed and watched her sleep. He knew that if they proceeded with her plan to get help from the VA she would not be relaxed very long. She had no idea what she was asking him to do because she had no idea what had happened to him in Iraq. He understood that and was going ahead with it anyway, because she wanted him to do it. He had more faith in her sound judgment than he had in almost anything else. He knew that he couldn’t go on as he’d been before he met her, not and keep her with him, which was now the most important goal in his life. Rough times were coming, but Amanda had already proven she could take rough times. Nothing could be worse than the thought of losing each other, which they had both faced when he was in jail. He knew that the therapy would be bad, at least for a while. But life without Amanda would be far worse and not, for him, worth living.
He lifted a lock of hair from her forehead and she stirred slightly. He removed his hand. Today was a new beginning. She had thrown her lot in with his, and no matter how amazed he was by that choice he wasn’t going to question it again. He would have enough work to do talking to a bunch of shrinks and reliving every horror he had experienced in the service. He hoped she was tough enough to handle it, and he was betting she was.
He smiled a little, watching the rise and fall of her breathing.
As Ted Manning had said, she was a lot tougher than she looked.
Kelly moved over until his body was touching hers and then pulled the heavy quilt over both of them.
Monday would be a fresh start.
Now it was time to sleep.
* * * * *
Amanda woke in the middle of the night to find Kelly stirring restlessly beside her, and for a moment she was afraid that he was having another nightmare. She put her hand on his bare shoulder and her touch settled him. She watched as he sighed deeply and went back to sleep.
She was worried, but hopeful, about what they would soon be facing together. It had taken his arrest and incarceration to get him to discuss his past social life, which may not have bathed him in angelic light but still had to be much less disturbing than his experiences in the war. What would it take to get him to talk about Iraq, which he wouldn’t go into with her even now? He had put up more ramparts than a Roman legion in Gaul to keep his demons out, and had sought the distraction of casual sex to keep even their subliminal presence constantly at bay. Now she was asking him to tear down all those carefully constructed defenses and leave his psyche vulnerable to the pain he’d been avoiding for so long. Was it wise to do it, was it even fair? If it went wrong she would feel responsible since she knew in her heart that he was doing it for her.
She had to take the chance, and she didn’t care that he hadn’t chosen to do it on his own. If his relationship with her would push him into getting help, she was glad to oblige. If that and keeping his job would force him to save himself, so much the better. The reasons for and against it didn’t matter any more; all that mattered was his decision to listen to her and make her concern about his welfare his priority.
The rest would take care of itself.
She loved him so much. She watched him sleeping and knew that if she couldn’t help him her life was over too. She picked up his hand and held it to her lips. His eyes opened long enough to register her presence. He looked at her briefly, smiled slightly, and moved his hand to press his fingers back against her mouth. Then he pulled her down next to him and she fitted herself to his side.
It was exactly where she wanted to be.
THE END
Epilogue 1
One year later….
Lankenau Veterans Hospital
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
The group of young men filed out of the conference room into the hall and Amanda appeared from the lounge and handed Kelly a paper cup of coffee. He took it and kissed the top of her head, she hugged him briefly and then disappeared. Dr. Sepansky had been witnessing this performance for several weeks in a row and finally his curiosity got the best of him. He ambled over to Kelly and said, “Brendan, have you got a few minutes? I have to submit an interim report on your progress in this group to Dr. Mitchell and I need some information. We should be able to get through it in the time we have for this break.”
“Sure,” Kelly said, turning to look at the older man.
Sepansky sat on the bench in the hallway and indicated that Kelly should sit next to him. The doctor produced a laptop from his briefcase and said, “May I ask you a general question first?”
Kelly gazed at him, nodding.
“Who’s that young lady who shows up at the break to see you each week? Red hair, petite, very pretty?”
Kelly grinned. “That’s my girl, Amanda.”
“She looks nice.”
“Yeah, she is.”
“She’s also in the lounge after the session every Thursday night, waiting for you, reading a book or doing some busy work. She seems very devoted.”
“She’s great. I’m lucky.”
“If you don’t mind me asking, is this the young lady from the Cameron case, the girl he was stalking?”
“I guess you know all about that from my file,” Kelly said to the therapist, after a slight hesitation.
“Yes.”
Kelly nodded. “I forgot for a moment that we’ve been raking my life over the coals during the last few months in the group.” He took a sip of his drink. “I met her on the job. She was being harassed by Cameron and I was assigned to get him.”
“And now you’re still together.”
“Yeah.” A small smile played around Kelly’s lips.
“I read about it in the papers too. The pair of you have already been through quite a bit together. Then what I have seen makes sense.”
“What do you mean?”
“The closeness, it’s unusual. You don’t even have to talk to understand each other.”
Kelly looked at him warily, his expression now guarded, uncomfortable with the observation. The doctor saw that his comment had intruded into an area Kelly considered private, and sacrosanct: his relationship with his lover. He knew he had to talk about his service career with Sepansky, but he shied away from revealing much more than that.
But the doctor was patient. And persistent.
“Sorry to pry,” Sepansky said quickly. “Blame it on my job. It comes with the territory. I should have realized who she was. But I’m not your personal therapist, just the PTS group leader here. I can’t keep up with the minute details on everybody.” He studied Kelly a minute longer and said, “Doesn’t she work for the DA if I recall correctly?”
Kelly sighed, aware that he would have to be rude to get the doctor off this subject.
“She did when I met her, that’s how Cameron got on to her in the first place. But she’s changed jobs. She works for the Public Interest Veterans Group now, she’s an advocate for veterans’ rights.”