Amaryllis (Suitors of Seattle) (5 page)

John sighed.  “So now what?”

“That’s what I’m trying to decide.   I’ve half a mind to go admit to her father what I’ve done, because I know he would force the wedding, but I don’t know that I want to start a marriage with a reluctant wife either.”

John seemed to think about the problem for a moment.  “Well, do you think she loves you?  Do you think you could eventually convince her that you did the
right thing by forcing her into marriage?”

Alex nodded.  “I don’t think that Amaryllis would be intimate with a man she didn’t love.”

John sat watching his son, contemplating the problem.  “I think you have two choices.  You can continue to try to convince her that you love her and will be faithful to her, and that the two of you belong together, which is probably the safest way, but it’s certainly not the fastest.  Or you can go to her father and explain what’s happened.  He’ll force her to marry you, and you’ll have her now.  I can’t promise he won’t shoot you, but I don’t think he would.  She may never forgive you, though.”

Alex sighed.  “That’s what I’m worried about.  I don’t want to start our marriage with her hating me.”

John shook his head.  “You need to make a decision.  I’ll stand by you either way.  You don’t want her to have your child out of wedlock either way.”

“I know.  How would you and Mama feel about having a grandchild?”

John grinned widely.  “I can’t think of anything we’d like more.”

Alex got to his feet.  “Thank you.”

“Have you made a decision?”  John unfolded his lanky frame from his chair.  His only child had died many years before, and he thought of Alex as his son.

“Not yet.  I’ll walk and think.”  Alex walked toward the front door.  “Tell Mama I’ll come see her soon.”

John shook his head.  “You’re not even going to let her feed you a piece of pie?”

“Not tonight.”

“I understand why, but you’ll need to make it up to her soon.”

Alex smiled wearily.  “I will.  I promise.”
  He went to the front door and left, walking slowly toward his office, trying to make his decision.  Did he force Amaryllis into marriage and incur her wrath?  Or did he wait and try to convince her they belonged together?

*****

When Amaryllis got within sight of the house, she realized there was someone walking behind her.  She sped up her footsteps, not wanting to be caught alone on the streets.  Seattle wasn’t a dangerous place, but any place could be dangerous for a young woman out alone after dark.

She realized the steps had followed her up the walk to her house and turned to see who was behind her.  “Alex.  I don’t want to see you.”

Alex shook his head slowly.  “I’m here to see your father.  Not you.”  Until that moment, he hadn’t been sure if he wanted to talk to him or try to convince her one more time to just marry him.

“My father?  What business do you have with him?”

Alex shrugged, avoiding her gaze.  “He and I need to have a talk.”

“About what?”  She looked at him, trying to figure out what he would talk to her father about.  “Not about what happened between us?”

Alex met her eyes.  “Yes, about what happened between us.  You’re not listening to reason, Rilly.  We need to get married now.  Things got out of hand between us earlier, and you could be carrying my child.”

Amaryllis stomped her foot.  “I will marry you if I find out I’m carrying.  Enough babies are born early that no one would think a thing of it.”

Alex put his hand on her arm.  “But it’s not just if you’re carrying.  When you marry a man has a right to expect to be his bride’s first.”  His hand went to her cheek as he stared into her blue eyes.  “You can’t give another man your first time.  I took that choice from you this afternoon.  We have to marry.”  He wanted desperately to be able to talk her into it, so her father wouldn’t have to get involved.  He didn’t want to do that to her.

“No we don’t!  I can’t marry a man I don’t trust, Alex.  And I don’t trust you!  Not at all!”

“You gave up the right to make that choice when you let me touch you today.  I love you with everything inside me, and I want to be the man who holds you every night.  Give me the chance to prove to you that we belong together.”

Amaryllis closed her eyes against the storm of emotions flooding through her.  “I can’t marry you, Alex.  It wouldn’t work out between us.”  She felt one tear trickle down her cheek and hoped he wouldn’t notice in the dark.

He reached out and brushed her tear away with his thumb.  “I’ll never make you cry again.  I promise.  Please, just give me a chance to show you how much I love you and that I can be trusted.  I need that from you.”  He pulled her to him with his free hand brushing her lips with the softest kiss she’d ever felt.

The door opened with a bang.  “Amaryllis!  What are you thinking standing here on the front step kissing a man you’re not even engaged to?”  Fred Sullivan’s eyes were angry as he stared down at his daughter.

“Papa, it’s not what it looks like!” she protested.

Fred glared at her.  “You’re not standing on my front step in a wrinkled gown with your hair mussed and your lips swollen from kisses in the arms of a young man?  Because that’s what it looks like to me.”

“Papa, please, let me explain.”  Amaryllis’s mind raced as she tried to come up with an explanation for her behavior.  How could she explain the obvious away? 

“You’ll go to your room and wait until you’re called.”  Fred shook his head at her.  “And you?  You’re coming with me.”  He pointed at Alex, obviously angry with him as well.

Amaryllis didn’t go to her room and instead went in search of her mother as soon as the two men were closed off in her father’s study.  She needed to have someone on her side, and Mary would surely agree that she didn’t want her daughter to be forced to live with a man she couldn’t trust.

She rushed through the house and found her mother in the parlor with her younger sisters.  Mary took one look at Amaryllis and sent the others from the room.  “Sit down and talk to me.”  Mary’s eyes noted the rumpled dress and the swollen lips as well as the eyes still red from tears.

Amaryllis sat on the sofa beside her mother, uncertain how to begin the conversation she needed to have.  She stared at her hands in her lap as she wrung them together.

“Did someone hurt you, Rilly?”

Amaryllis shook her head, the tears starting to fall again.  What had she been thinking to do that without being married?  “No, Mama.  I…I did something I shouldn’t have.”

Mary’s eyes widened with understanding.  “Did you see Lawrence after you left the library?”

Amaryllis gave a half-laugh and her eyes met her mother’s for the first time since she’d gotten home.  “No, I saw Alex.” 

Mary shook her head slowly.  “Not Alex
Anderson?  I thought you two had broken up!”

“We did.  He’s been back in town
, and I’ve seen him a few times…just run into him.  And today, well…Mama he’s talking to Papa and I don’t want to be forced to marry him.  You won’t let that happen, will you?”  Her eyes pled with her mother to help her.

Mary sighed.  “There are consequences for your actions, Rilly.  You should have come straight home from work like you usually do.”

Amaryllis stared down at her hands.  “He grabbed me and kissed me, and whenever he kisses me, I just feel things.  I can’t stop.  I know what we did was wrong, but I shouldn’t have to suffer the rest of my life for it!”

“You could be carrying his child.  I’ll stand behind whatever your papa says, but I think marriage is in order.”  Mary got to her feet and walked to the doorway.  “I’ll go get the dinner we saved for you.  You’ll need to have strength for the conversation your father is going to have with you.” 

“Mama, are you disappointed in me?”

Mary sighed.  “I’m disappointed in your actions, but never in you.  You’re wonderful just as you are.”  She hurried from the room.

Amaryllis sat with a half-smile on her face.  She knew a lot of mothers would be angry and yelling at their child.  She had new respect for the woman who had raised her.

Chapter Four

Amaryllis
ate a small portion of the pot roast and vegetables her mother had saved for her.  Mary kept her company as she ate, knowing the agony her third daughter was in as she worried about what was being said between her father and Alex. Mary could see the emotions flitting across her face, and she kept glancing over her shoulder as if she was expecting to hear gunshots. 

When Jasmine came to the dining room and found her sister there, Amaryllis could see the gleeful grin on her face and wanted to vomit.  “Papa’s looking for you!”

Amaryllis pushed her plate away, even though it was barely touched.  She looked at her mother.  “Will you come with me?”

Mary shook her head.  “You have to face these consequences on your own.”
  She squeezed Amaryllis’s hand as she stood to leave the dining room. 

Amaryllis took a deep breath and walked through the quiet house to her father’s office.  She opened the door and walked just inside standing there waiting to hear what her father had to say to her. 

“Sit down, Amaryllis.”  Her father’s eyes were sad, but no longer angry as they had been earlier.

Amaryllis took the empty chair beside Alex, because it was the one her father had indicated.  She sat quietly looking at her hands, afraid to say anything.

“Alex told me what happened this evening.  You obviously care for him, or you wouldn’t have allowed him those liberties with your body.  You’ll marry him this Saturday.”

Amaryllis shook her head.  “I won’t, Papa.  I don’t trust him.”

Fred leaned back in his chair, obviously astonished that Amaryllis was arguing with him over something so important.  “You will.  You made a choice today, and you have to live with that choice.  By allowing him to touch you, you agreed that he was the man you want to spend your life with.”

Amaryllis looked up for the first time since she’d entered the room. “But, Papa!  I didn’t make a choice.  I was on my way home from work, and he grabbed me and pulled me into his office!”
  She couldn’t help but protest.  Her father thought she’d actually deliberately gone with the man for the purpose of having relations with him, and that’s not what had happened.

Fred leaned forward, his elbows on his desk as he looked between Alex and Amaryllis.  “Are you saying he forced you?”

Amaryllis knew that lying would be the only way she could get out of the mess she was in, but she couldn’t do that to Alex.  “No, Papa.  He just didn’t give me time to think.  He started kissing me, and I lost my head.”  She looked down in shame.

“You’ll marry him then.  Alex tells me he has a law practice and a small apartment attached to his office. 
We’ll have the pastor come on Saturday, and the two of you will marry with only family here.  We’ll put it around that you saw each other again and decided you couldn’t wait because you loved each other so much.”

Amaryllis glared at Alex out of the corner of her eye.  He reached over to take her hand.  “I love you.  I’ll make you as happy as I possibly can.  Please don’t be angry.”

She refused to look at him, shocked that he had taken it this far and gotten her father to force a marriage when he knew it wasn’t what she wanted. 

Fred sighed.  “Go ahead, Alex.”

Alex stood and walked around her chair, dropping to one knee beside her.  In his hand, he held a ring.  “Amaryllis, I love you more than I’ve ever dreamed it was possible to love someone.  I want nothing more than to be your husband.  Will you marry me and let me spend the rest of my life proving to you how much I care about you?”

She crossed her arms over her chest and turned her head away.  It was a proposal like she’d always dreamed of, but it wasn’t right, because she didn’t trust him.  Yes, she loved him.  She had to admit that to herself at least.  She never would have made love with a man she didn’t love.  She wasn’t ready to marry him though, so she remained silent.

Fred leaned forward.  “Your answer is ‘yes,’ Amaryllis.  Say it and get on with it.”

Amaryllis sighed, the anger in her eyes shooting daggers at Alex.  “Yes.”
  She knew she sounded frustrated, but she didn’t care.  She was frustrated.  She watched as Alex slipped a ring on her finger.

Alex looked to Fred.  “May I kiss her now?”

Fred laughed and mumbled something about closing the stall after the horse got out as he left the room, leaving the young affianced couple alone together.

Amaryllis shook her head.  “No, you may not kiss me now.  Thank you
so
much for asking me and not my father.  As far as I’m concerned, I’m never kissing you again.” 

Alex grinned, took the hand he still held, and pulled her to her feet.  “But I like kissing you.  And you like kissing me.  Whether you’ll admit it right now or not.”  He lowered his head to hers and kissed her softly, a sweet kiss to seal their engagement.  He lifted his head, and looked at the open door, seeing Jasmine standing there watching them.

“Kissing is disgusting, you know.  Have you considered that really you’re just sharing your spit with each other?”  Jasmine was sixteen now, but still hadn’t really discovered boys, which was a good thing.  There was no telling what Jasmine would do when she discovered boys.

Alex smiled.  “I know.”

“I guess her spectacles don’t get in the way like I thought they would.”  Jasmine made her announcement as if everyone in the world was waiting for her opinion on whether or not spectacles made kissing more difficult.

Alex chuckled softly.  “You sure do know how to make a marriage proposal more interesting, Jasmine.”
  He kept Amaryllis’s hands in his to keep her close to him even as he focused his attention on her younger sister.

“Marriage proposal?  How come she’s marrying you when she’s been going to dinner with Lawrence?  That doesn’t make sense.”  Jasmine made a face.

“I came back to town, and she forgot all about him, I guess.”  The look on Alex’s face dared Amaryllis to argue with him.

Amaryllis nodded.  “That’s exactly what happened.  How could I think of anyone else when Alex has always held my heart in his hand?”  She smiled sweetly up at Alex, brushing her lips against his.

“Then why did you go to dinner with Lawrence so much?”

Amaryllis ignored the look in Alex’s eyes as she turned her attention on her sister.  “He was a friend who knew no one else in town.  I felt badly for him.  That doesn’t mean I stopped loving Alex.”

Alex cupped her cheek with his hand.  “Go away, Jasmine.  I’m going to kiss your sister again.”

“
Fine, I’m leaving!”  As soon as Jasmine said the words and stomped off, Amaryllis pulled away from Alex. 

Alex raised an eyebrow at her.  “What was that about?”

“Jasmine is…well, she’s Jasmine.  I don’t want to have to live with her knowing that I was forced to marry and didn’t choose this.  I’d rather she thought I was deliriously happy.”

Alex sighed.  “I’d rather you
be
deliriously happy.”

She shrugged.  “That’s not going to happen married to you.  I told you how I felt, and you pushed it anyway.”  She walked to the front door and opened it, making it obvious she was ready for him to leave.  “I guess I’ll see you Saturday.” 

Mary walked up behind them.  “Amaryllis, is there an announcement you want to make?  I’ve got tea and cookies at the table for all of us if you two would like to share your news with the family.”

Amaryllis sighed.  “Jasmine knows so the whole world is already aware, I’m certain.”

“Amaryllis.”  Mary quietly said her daughter’s name, letting her know that her answer was unacceptable.

Amaryllis smiled at Alex.  “Would you like to stay for tea and cookies so we can tell the whole family our joyful news?”  Her words were spoken sarcastically, but he just laughed.

“I’d love to!”  Alex followed her into the dining room where he’d eaten on several occasions when the family had gotten together with Harriett and her husband Max as well as his parents and him. 

Amaryllis took one of the seats on the side of the table, and Alex took the seat beside her.  He squeezed her hand under the table, and it became a small game of tug of war as she tried to get him to loosen his grip and let her go.  Mary noticed the fight and frowned at Amaryllis, shaking her head slightly.  Amaryllis sighed and gave up, letting him hold her hand.

When all of her sisters, minus the two who were on their own, and her parents were at the table, Fred looked at them with a smile.  “Amaryllis and Alex have news for us all.”

Amaryllis stayed quiet, refusing to say the words.  She knew Alex would handle it.  He was the one excited about getting married after all.

Alex got to his feet and smiled down at Amaryllis, wishing she’d look at him.  If she wanted her sisters to think she was happy about their marriage, she needed to put on a better act.  “Amaryllis has agreed to be my wife.  We’re getting married Saturday.”

Even Jasmine was stunned by that news.  Mary had obviously already been informed, because she just smiled. 

“Saturday?  Why so soon?” Jasmine asked.  “What aren’t you telling me?”  At sixteen, Jasmine was very suspicious of fast weddings.  “You’re not pregnant are you, Rilly?”

Amaryllis shook her head adamantly.  “No, I’m not pregnant.  I’ve just loved Alex for a lot of years.  Why wouldn’t I marry him quickly?”

Jasmine still looked like she knew something was going on, but she didn’t say anything else about it.  “Whatever you say, Rilly.”

Daisy, at seventeen, smiled at Amaryllis.  “I’m happy for you.  You and Alex deserve each other.”

Amaryllis just kept smiling through all the congratulations.  She wanted Alex to leave so she could go to her room and have a good cry.  They took their time over the cookies, and Alex kept giving her loving glances.  She did her best to at least look like she liked him, but she was so angry with him, she didn’t even want to be in the same room with him unless it was to spit on him.

Saturday.  She was going to marry him Saturday.  They were going to live in his tiny apartment, which was fine, but she couldn’t cook.  She’d never learned to clean.  How were they going to live?  She closed her eyes and didn’t think about it.  She hoped it would be a slow three days.

When she finally led Alex to the door at the end of the evening, she knew her sisters were watching from their windows, so she walked him outside.  She sighed as she looked at him.  “I guess you’d better kiss me good night, so my sisters will still have all their romantic illusions.”

Alex frowned.  “How ‘bout I kiss you because we both enjoy it so much?”

Amaryllis’s eyes dropped to his lips, and she thought about how good his lips and touch made her feel.  “I think it’s better if we do it just because my sisters are watching.”

He shook his head as he pulled her into his arms.  “I’m going to kiss you because I like to touch you.”  He stopped with his lips an inch from hers.  “And you do too.”

Amaryllis sucked in a breath as his lips touched hers.  She wanted to keep the kiss light, because she was still angry, but as soon as his tongue stroked along her lips, she opened her mouth for more.  Her arms went around him, and she kissed him with all the passion that had built up inside her while they’d sat together holding hands and her sisters had laughed about their quick marriage.

Her stomach fluttered, and she again felt tingling in her woman’s place that was still sore from earlier.  She pulled him closer, actually looking forward to one aspect of being married to him.  He may not be trustworthy, but he could make her body sing. 

Finally, he pulled his mouth from hers, resting his forehead on her own.  “I love you, Rilly.  I’m going to make you the happiest woman in Seattle.”

*****

Alex came by the library to see Amaryllis right before close the following afternoon.  “I’m going to see my parents tonight so I can tell them about the wedding.  I’ve talked to the pastor, and he’ll be at your house at two for the ceremony.”

Amaryllis sighed.  “Okay.  Thanks for giving me the time of the wedding.”  She put down the small stack of books she had been working on reshelving and picked up
the book she was reading to take home with her.  “I’ll let Mama know.”

“I want you to come with me to tell my parents.  I need them to think we’re both happy about this, just like you needed your sisters to think we’re happy.”  His eyes dared her to argue with him.

“I’d really rather not.”  His parents both knew about Sarah and that Alex had betrayed her.  How could she possibly smile at them and tell them she wanted to marry their son who she couldn’t trust?

“I’d rather you did.  Please, Rilly.  I’m not asking for anything else from you.  Make this my wedding gift.”

Amaryllis shrugged.  “Fine.  I’ll walk over with you.”  She wouldn’t hurt his parents for the world.

“Thank you.”  His eyes bored into hers.  “This means a lot to me.”

“I like your parents,” she answered honestly, trying to give the impression that she was doing it only for his parents’ sake and not for his.  She couldn’t let him get close.  That was her biggest fear about being married to him.  She couldn’t let him know how she felt about him.