Authors: Robin Roseau
She nodded. "I hope in time you learn to trust me."
"You ask a lot overnight. My shoulders still hurt from my punishment for daring to fight for my own freedom."
She
sighed but took the soap and bathed me.
"I never answered your question. They were bickering, and what was supposed to be healthy practice was turning dangerous. Bea made a dangerous swing at Varda's knee, which Varda barely evaded, and then she countered with a swing for Bea's head. If Bea's blow had connected, Varda would be a cripple. If Varda's had connected, Bea would likely be dead."
I thought about it then turned to face her. "If I had known that, I wouldn't have hesitated."
"So some offenses are worth a whipping?
If you sister were here, and Bea tried to cripple her, or worse, succeeded, what punishment would you want to see?"
I ignored that question.
"Why didn't you whip them?"
"Because you are right. It wouldn't solve the problem, and I was able to address it with a more creative solution. But if either of those blows had landed, I wouldn't have had a choice.
"
"Did anyone else see it? I know Nori didn't."
"I'll explain in detail to her later. And others noticed, but not anyone who has the authority to deal with it. That would be Nori, their two warriors, or me. Nori could use a second in command, but there is no one living in Queen's Town who shines sufficiently. The other villages and outposts have their own command structures."
I turned around and let her continue to bathe me. When she was done, I told her, "I am sorry I hesitated."
She nodded. "Don't make a habit of it."
We soaked for a while.
* * * *
After bathing, I began learning the rest of my duties, beginning with laundry. Malora showed me the clothing she had that required mending at the same time, and then she disappeared with several of the warriors.
From time to time I noticed Varda and Bea still lashed together, struggling to free themselves. During one of my trips I stopped by to see how they were doing.
"Come to spy on us?" Bea asked.
"I am trying to learn Amazon ways," I said.
"It is the Amazon way to help your sisters," Varda indicated. "If you free my left wrist, we can do the rest."
"I believe it is also the Amazon way to obey our warriors and our queen, and as my warrior is also the queen, I am, perhaps, doubly expected to obey."
"Can't blame me for trying," Varda said.
"Can't I?" I asked. "If I had helped you, what would my punishment have been if it became known? I think I can guess."
I decided then and there I didn't trust Varda. Bea had remained quiet. The two were still fighting with each other, but I had to admit, I didn't have a clue how they were to free themselves. I wondered if they could work the staff out from between their shoulders, although Malora had tied it very tightly.
By lunch they still were not free, nor were they cooperating with each other so they could arrange to eat. I served both Nori and Malora then sat down between them.
"How are they supposed to free themselves?" I asked.
"Slide the staff out," Nori suggested.
"That seems obvious, but I haven't seen them attempt it. Every time I go past them, they are bickering."
"Did Varda try to convince you to help?" Nori asked.
"How did you know?"
"Were you going to tell me?" Malora asked.
"I considered it tattling."
"It would have gone poorly for you if you had helped, and she knew that when she asked," Malora pointed out.
"It was a half-hearted effort," I said. "If I were foolish enough to help, I could not blame her."
"Someone younger may have been more easily swayed," Nori pointed out.
"But clearly you both know her ways," I indicated. "You do not need me to tell you."
"You didn't know that."
"Should I have reported it?"
"She expected you to."
"Is Varda the problem between the two?"
"No. Bea fosters the feud herself. They are equally at fault."
"I'll ask again. Should I have reported it?"
Neither answered immediately. "Use your judgment," Malora said eventually. "I would not have thought less of you for reporting it. I do not think less of you for keeping it to yourself."
"I looked at how you bound them, Malora. Did you expect them to free themselves?"
"Nori and I would have been free in a matter of minutes, if even that long, but it would take cooperation and trust."
"What would you do?"
"Break the staff."
"So easily?"
"Not easy at all," Malora said. "They are very sturdy, and we would both be very sore before we broke it. But we'd break it."
"If it doesn't slide right out," Nori said. "We would try that first."
"Should I have been able to free me when you tied me?"
"No," Nori said. "You were making good headway against the rocks, and that was your only opportunity."
"You knew I'd try, didn't you? You set me up."
"I would have
been disappointed if you hadn't tried."
I had a hard time not becoming angry with Nori again, remembering her unkind care of me, and I closed down. When Malora's water was empty, I filled it for her but neglected Nori. I wondered if she'd treated me as unkindly as she had so that Malora could, after a fashion, rescue me from her. I was sure that my relief at being untied had a great deal to do with how I responded to her afterwards. I wondered whether I should rethink my cooperation.
With the meal finished, Nori excused herself to attend to "things". She didn't specify what.
"Angry with Nori again?" Malora asked me.
"No comment."
"Why now?"
"No comment. Can we discuss something else?"
"Is there going to be a problem I am going to have to deal with?"
"No."
"You have an hour until the afternoon training," Malora said. "Do you have enough to do?"
I looked over at her. "Did you just decide to punish me for not filling Nori's water glass?"
"No. We train in
the morning and the afternoon. Training is not punishment. A true Amazon relishes the opportunity to train."
"We both know I am not a true Amazon and unlikely to become one."
"Nevertheless, you will train like one."
I didn't tell her she was giving me more reasons to attempt my escape. However, I knew if they caught me, the punishment would be severe. I needed to learn more, and I needed them complacent before I tried it.
* * * *
Afternoon training began similar to the morning. My shoulders were sore, and I hoped there wouldn't be more work with the
staffs, but whatever we were going to do, I was sure I wouldn't enjoy it. We began with stretching and a run. This time, Malora set the pace, and Nori was the whip-wielding demon. I had four new welts by the time they let us collapse, and I had four more reasons to escape.
They let us catch our breath, and then we had our first introduction in unarmed combat. As we had this morning, we worked with our warriors, which meant my training partner was Malora.
I acquired even more bruises, but I kept my mouth closed and didn't whine. We finished with another run: two more welts for me.
By the time we were done, I was exhausted and most of my muscles hurt. I could no longer pay attention to whether it was only my shoulders that ached or my entire body.
At dinner, I didn't serve Nori and I didn't share a plate with Malora. Nor did I allow her to touch me when I could avoid it.
She confronted me in the hut later. "What's wrong with you?"
"I'm sure you are aware of the condition of my body," I said. "So I am not sure what you are asking, Queen Malora."
"I told you to call me Malora."
"Yes, Queen Malora."
"Why are you acting like this?"
"What have I done to displease you? Have I shirked my duties? If so, please tell me so I can resolve the issue."
"You're being a bitch."
"Have I been disrespectful? If so, it wasn't intentional."
"Do you honestly not
understand why I'm asking these questions?"
Of course I knew why she was asking, and I wasn't going to lie about it.
I didn't answer.
"That's what I thought," she said. "What is going on? Answer me."
"If you tell me what I am doing to make you angry, Queen Malora, I will strive to adjust my behavior."
"I am not angry!" she said.
"You sound angry."
I turned away. I didn't want to play this game. I didn't want to be here. I didn't want her attention. I wanted her to leave me alone so I could go home.
She stepped up behind me and set her hands on my shoulders. I stepped away from her.
"That's what I'm talking about," she complained. "You didn't pull away last night."
"Last night I believed the way I was treated for the first several days of my acquaintance with Amazons was an aberration. I no longer believe that." I turned to face her. "You expect me to be nice to the woman who is abusing me?"
"In what way am I abusing you?"
"Shall we produce a little more light and count the marks on my body?"
"You're angry about our training methods?"
"I don't recall saying I was angry," I said. "I don't recall raising my voice. I don't even recall complaining, well, except this morning. I didn't say a word, but you wouldn't leave it alone."
"But you're angry."
"But I want to go home!"
Damn it. I hadn't wanted to tell her that. I wanted her complacent.
Her voice grew quiet. "You agreed-"
"To let you abuse me? I don't remember that part.
In fact, I remember your assurances you wouldn't. You can't have it both ways. You can't hit me and then expect me to treat you tenderly afterwards. As you will not allow me to leave, and I know if I attempt to flee you will catch me and punish me severely, I am forced to remain here. As your prisoner, your bounty, your prisoner of war. I will wash your clothes and serve your dinner. I will follow your orders. I will jump when you bark. But do not think for a minute I will accept your abuse and offer you love or comfort afterwards."
I turned away from her. "If I have other duties tonight, I do not know what they are."
"I don't need this from you tonight," she said, venom in her voice. She stormed out.
Aching and tender, I disrobed and climbed into bed. Exhausted, I tried to sleep, but my body hurt too much, and I tossed and turned, moaning a few times.
I don't know how long Malora was gone. She stood next to the bed, looking down at me. "Are you awake?" she asked quietly.
I tried to feign sleep. She waited a moment then said, "I know you're awake."
"Then why did you ask me?"
She sat down on the bed. "Why aren't you asleep?"
"I hurt too much."
"I brought ointments," she said, "one for the welts and a
nother for your muscles. I will need to touch you. I am telling you what I will do; I am not asking permission."
"So when I won't voluntarily allow you to touch me, you will force yourself
on me?"
"This is part of my duty as your warrior. Are the welts all on your bottom?"
"Yes."
"I will be touching you there."
"You will not." I sat up.
She made a disgusted sound. "I'm not trying to molest you. I am trying to comfort you."
"Brilliant," I said. "Beat me up and then use it as an excuse to fondle me."
"Why can't you just..." she trailed off.
"What? Be a complacent little slave?"
"Damn it, Maya!" She began pacing. "It will feel good."
"Is that how you justify your treatment of me? Oh, I'll just fondle her naked body later. That will make it up to her."
"You are infuriating!" She sat down on the foot of the bed, sitting sideways, a foot or two from my feet. I could just barely make out her profile in the dark.
"I don't know what you want from me, Malora," I said quietly. "But I don't think I have it in me to give it."
She took a breath, held it, then let it out slowly. "Maya, I want you to trust me."
"You and Nori have worked very hard to make that difficult."
"I know. But consider this. If you pretend to trust me, then I will lower my guard, and you can slide that knife through my ribs when I become complacent. Or maybe I'll prove trustworthy. I would think both of those outcomes are better than the current path we're on."
I stared at her. "Was that a joke?"
"Trust me, Maya. Please. I have nothing nefarious in mind. I seek only to ease your aches and talk to you while I do so."