Authors: Robin Roseau
"We did-"
"Then why did I not know of your need?" I asked. "Do you blame me for your lack of publicity?"
"Your council knew," Nori said.
Malora interjected, "We will not solve that problem today." She paused, looking into my eyes. "May I suggest there have been mistakes made on both sides, and there are problems yet to be resolved, but discussion on those can wait. Our most urgent decision is what to do about you." She cocked her head. "You have questions."
"Why do you need so many?"
I asked.
"It is a wide frontier," the queen said. "And the demons
have grown more bold in recent years."
I stared at her.
"We have had losses."
"Losses exceeding the numbers of recruits from the nearest villages," Nori said. "We cannot recruit more heavily, and places further west have refused to send recruits for years. We must reverse the trend."
I looked back and forth between them. "Do I have other options, than being your servant?"
"Companion," the queen said. "Please at least try saying the word."
"Fine. Servant. Slave. Companion. I haven't yet been impressed with the difference. Do I have other choices?"
"You may refuse me," she said. "I will do my best to not take it personally. I would offer you as companion to another."
"Who would want me?"
"I would," Nori said immediately.
I stared at her. "You can't be serious."
"Quite serious," she said. "The reason I knew Malora would be intrigued by you is because I was, and we have similar tastes."
"In bedmates?"
"In companions," she said. "You won't understand, but I cannot offer Malora what she needs, and I'm not talking sex. And she can't offer what I need. You can."
"Which is? Wait, it doesn't matter. You can't possibly be suggesting I am to voluntarily become the slave of the woman who to date has abused me. Perhaps you, Queen Malora, have not yet treated me so vilely, but to serve her?" I pointed my nose to Nori. "The suggestion is ridiculous. My answer is a resounding no."
Malora shook her head sadly. "Nori is a good woman and kind to her companions."
"I have personal experience otherwise, ample experience to suggest she would treat me exceedingly poorly. I believe she enjoyed mistreating me, and I believe she would continue to do so. She readily beat two innocent children for the crime of once having been my students, then lied about the reason. My answer is no."
Nori had the grace to look uncomfortable. Malora sigh
ed and said, "There are others."
"Others who can handle me?" I asked. "Who won't treat me as badly as she did? I find that unlikely."
"There are others," the queen said. "If you and I are unable to reach agreement, then in a few days I would begin introducing you to other choices."
"And I would be caged until then?"
She nodded. "You asked a question a few minutes ago, then decided it doesn't matter. I believe it does matter."
She waited for me. "Fine. What is it I could offer that you need so badly?"
"Softness," the queen said. "A certain amount of innocence. A reason to fight. Someone to fight for."
Again I found myself staring. "
You're trying to convince me the demons are real."
"Quite real," she said. "And they do not fight like men."
"Physically, they fight poorly," Nori said.
"For their size," the queen added.
"Quite," said Nori.
"Men can't stand against them."
"No," Nori said. "And it is not as if we are unaware of the fight in the mind."
"Nor are we unaffected," the queen said.
"She'll come to you after a fight, Maya. She'll need to hold you. She'll need you to hold her."
"It's not sex," said the queen. "It's comfort. It's someone to hold. Someone to drive away the darkness. Can you do that?"
"And what is the likelihood I will see one of these demons in the two years you would have me serve you?"
"I would like to say 'none'," said the queen. "If you see a demon, then I have failed. It is not your job to fight demons. It is my job to see to that."
"Then how will I know they are real and not just a story you use to scare me?"
"You will know," Nori said. "You will know."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes," said the queen, and there was no doubt in her voice.
"If I refuse to serve as anyone's companion, what will you do?"
The two of them exchanged glances. Surely they had anticipated that question. Malora returned her gaze to mine. I thought she was co
nsidering her answer. I beat her to it.
"You have a variety of choices. You can free me. This is the only humane thing to do, but you have stated you will not do so. You can kill me. Perhaps you would do so as kindly as you can, but it is murder, plain and simple. The duel you offered is murder as well, regardless of whether I am holding a sword or not.
"
Their expressions darkened.
"I am speaking in a civil tone, Queen Malora, but if the punishment for speaking honestly is a whipping, then I demand we discuss not whether you are going to offer that duel, but how quickly we can get it over. As it would be a farce, I would suggest immediately. It would be murder, but..." I shrugged.
"You are so ready to die?"
"Are you ready to abuse me for speaking the truth? If so, then yes, kill me now. The world needn't even learn you murder school teachers if you hide the body."
She stared at me for a moment. "No, there is never punishment for truth, regardless of how disturbing that truth may be. You are correct; handing you a sword and calling it a duel would be a farce, tantamount to murder.
"
"Maya," Nori said, "I would like to address a misunderstanding you have."
I raised an eyebrow.
"Let me ask you something. If I began slapping you, would you grow angry?"
"Was that a threat?"
"I am coming to a point. If I began to beat you, you would grow angry, wouldn't you. I fight very well with staff, sword, and fists. You do not. It would be very one-sided, and you would grow angry at being abused."
"Yes."
"Well, I fight very well physically and very poorly with words. In that way, we are the opposite."
"Your point?"
"I gagged you because I was on the verge of losing my temper. I am unaccustomed to anyone speaking to me the way you did. I did not believe I could have controlled my temper much longer. I did not believe whipping the fight out of you would have helped, and I wasn't in a position I could walk away from you. Nor could I have
subjected anyone else to your tongue."
"I am not angry about the gag. I actually don't blame you for that. I would have gagged me, too."
She smiled at that.
"I am angry you struck two young children."
"I was afraid if I struck you, I wouldn't stop. I knew I could control myself against them, but only if I shut you up fast."
"So hitting them was the lesser of two evils?"
"The least of several evils," she admitted. "Yes. I may have been more creative if I weren't so close to losing my temper."
I looked down at my hands for a while, considering what she had said. "As I said, I do not blame you for gagging me. I believe you owe each of them an apology."
"I probably do, but I believe remaining the boogie monster may reduce the likelihood they will earn punishments from their warriors instead."
"I see," I said quietly. "That crime was not against me. You know my opinion on it. Perhaps we should move on."
"Quite," said Malora. "Were their other choices you wished to list?"
"All right," I agreed. "You can free me, which you won't do. You can kill me, which is what I believe will be your choice. Or y
ou can imprison me and abuse me until I submit. I am sure I will eventually, and then when opportunity presents itself, I will kill anyone I can. But when I do it, I will be killing the people who abused me and made me their slave, and when you enact retribution on Gallen's Cove, you will let the entire world know all Amazons are rampaging murderers. I will have justice on my side, and you will be honorless."
Malora surged to her feet, and I thought she would strike me, but she turned her back.
"Abuse can take a variety of forms," I said after the briefest pause. "I do not deserve any of them."
"No," Malora said
tightly. "You don't. Nori, you brought me a fine puzzle indeed, and I understand completely the gag."
"I am sorry, Malora,"
Nori replied.
"I understand why you brought her," Malora said.
"Have I outlined the choices?" I asked. "Perhaps I missed a few."
The queen turned to face me. "There are subtleties, but no, you have outlined the choices quite articulately."
"We can't release you," Nori said.
"It
would undermine our attempts to resolve a significant problem, with repercussions that extend well past a discussion of fairness to you," Malora explained.
"You admit freeing me is the fair choice."
"Perhaps, but it isn't going to happen. I have offered the best choice I have for giving you freedom to return home. Two years."
"And so again we discuss what happens when I refuse your admittedly-unfair offer. You will murder me?"
She sighed. "We will imprison you. I do not like this choice, and I would rather we achieve a different agreement."
"So my choice is between imprisonment for an unspecified period or agree to being your slave for at least two years."
"It is not slavery!"
"If I am not offered the option of leaving, and I have been convicted of no crimes that allow you to treat me in this fashion, then it is slavery. You may put whatever fine gloss you want on it, but it is slavery."
Malora turned away again, pacing the space for a while.
"I am sorry, Malora," Nori said. "I should have known better."
The queen stopped and turned to face me. "I will ask you to set aside that word until you know more. I will ask you to consider this: we protect Morehama. Answer a question for me. If we have not lied, what are we owed, by you and everyone else in Morehama? If you can honestly say 'nothing', we will discuss freeing you."
I thought about it and smiled for a moment.
"Why are you smiling?"
"Two can offer unpleasant
questions."
She began to return my smile.
"I would ask to pace," I said, "but I believe my arms would protest hanging limply."
"I believe you are correct," she said.
I turned away from her, studying the walls of the pavilion for a while.
"Maya," the queen asked, "if we have not lied, what do you personally
owe us?"
I didn't answer. I couldn't.
I felt like one of my students, petulant, looking anywhere but at the teacher as I was called to task. But I continued to stare away.
She let me sit there, but
stepped closer and again asked, "What do you owe us, Maya?"
"Would you abuse me?" I asked quietly.
"There are aspects of Amazon life you won't enjoy."
"There are aspects of every life one doesn't enjoy. Would you abuse me, Queen Malora?"
"Punishments for breaking rules are harsher than you have experienced in the past. We are at war, and we cannot allow a lack of discipline. And I am a queen, which is several steps above a village elder, and I require a certain amount of respect. Our rules are simple, but it is likely you will at time break some of the rules. Everyone does. I did. Nori did. You will take the same punishment any of us would take for the same violation."
"Would you abuse me on a daily basis if I am doing my best to conform to your rules?"
"No. I would not abuse you in that way, Maya," she said.
I turned to face her.
"Will you treat me with respect and dignity? Or can I expect to be treated as a lesser creature but punished if I complain or respond in a predictable fashion?"
"I will treat you with the respect I expect from you," she replied. "But I am the queen and would be your warrior, and you would be expected to obey me the same as you obey your village elders."
I smiled. "I argue with the village elders."
"Politely?" she asked.
"Of course, until I steal a cane."
Their lips turned upwards for a moment.
"There are times arguing with me cannot be tolerated. I think you can understand why."
I thought about it and nodded.
"Arguing with me in private is tolerated. Arguing with me in public may not be. I have never had a companion argue with me, and I do not promise to accept it."