“Have you talked to him?”
“No. I called him earlier, but I got his voicemail.”
I put my head in my hands; I couldn’t believe what a mess we had created. I hadn’t taken any of his calls. I wanted him to talk to her first, I didn’t think it was my place to tell him, but I did want him to know. Whatever the end result, I wasn’t a person that was cool with lies and deceit.
“You have to keep trying him. Have you thought about going to Austin?”
“No! I just got home from California a couple of hours ago.”
“California? What the hell were you doing in California?” I was completely lost at this point.
“The night after I left your apartment, I freaked out and Ash picked me up.”
“Yeah, I knew that part. Mina told me you were with him. But how does California play into all of this?”
“He took me to his sister’s house for a couple of days to get away from everything. We just got back today.”
“
Ahhh
… so you haven’t spoken with Mason since last Friday afternoon?” The more of the story I heard, the more I wondered what all had happened between Rat and Bentley… something just wasn’t adding up… especially after the frantic messages that he had left on my voicemail.
“No… I ran away like I always do. I just wanted everyone and everything to go away.”
“And you called Ash?”
“Yeah… I don’t know. He had left this inspirational book on my car earlier in the day to help me through the whole
Evie
thing, and in the middle of my meltdown, I saw the book in my car and called him.”
“And…” I had a bad feeling I knew where this story was heading. An already distraught and broken Scarlett in a romantic setting with the guy who she thought was possibly her soul mate… God, this was
all my
fucking fault. I knew better, I could see it unraveling in front of my eyes that night, but I just couldn’t fucking stop it. It had been so long… and it wasn’t just because she occasionally reminded me of
Evie
by the things she did or said, but because she was… well, she was just her… sweet, beautiful, unassuming Scarlett. I knew she was hurting, that she felt abandoned by Mason… shit, I had felt that emptiness for a year. But I should’ve stopped it before it became the fucking mess that it had become.
“Like I said, he took me to his sister’s house where I was able to calm down a bit. There wasn’t much I could do without talking to you or
Mase
, and I didn’t have my phone to call either of you.”
“What happened with you and Ash?” I had to ask even though I was scared of the answer.
“Nothing. Nothing happened. He was just a good friend to me. We cleared the air between us about everything that had happened, and I told him about everything that happened with Mason and Bentley and you.”
She looked up at me with huge crocodile tears in her eyes. I reached across the table and grabbed her hands in mine. “I. Am. So. Sorry. I never wanted to cause you any trouble. We were both feeling lonely and needing to feel loved.”
That’s when the tears began falling fast and furiously down her cheeks. I used my thumb to help wipe them away, but continued with what I needed to say to her. “Scarlett, look at me.”
Looking at her face broke my heart even more than it already was, I hated myself. “I do love you. Just like I know you love me. But we both know it’s different. It doesn’t make us awful people for what happened; it makes us human. It’s only natural for two people who adore each other as much as we do, to want to comfort one another when we feel like we did. We took it too far. We got caught up in the alcohol and in the moment, and we just didn’t stop it when we should have. We don’t have to let it ruin us though. I’m still Max and you are still Scarlett and we are still best friends. I’ll still be here for you for whatever you need, just like I know you will be here for me. Right?”
Even though she was still crying, she smiled and nodded her head. I got out of my chair and went to her, ignoring the other people in the restaurant that were now staring at us. Wrapping my arms around her, I allowed her to bury her head in my chest and cry out the rest of her tears. After several minutes, she lifted her head and pulled back to look at me.
“We’re
gonna
be okay, Maxi,” she said softly.
“What did you just call me?” I scoffed.
“Maxi… do you like it?” She was having a hard time to not giggle as she said it.
“It’s the worst fucking nickname I’ve ever heard for a guy, but if you want to call me that, I love it,” I answered as I kissed her forehead. “Now let’s get out of here and fix the rest of this shit. I need my
sweetheart
to be perfect.”
Scarlett and I left the restaurant and I took her to the reflection pool at Hermann Park. It was one of
Evie’s
favorite places to go when we would hang out, and I thought it would be a perfect spot for us to both to spend some time remembering the amazing person that was taken from our lives way too soon. We settled ourselves under one of the massive live oaks that lined the pool, and sat silently for a while, both lost in our memories.
After a while, I finally said, “I was scared I was going to lose you too.”
She turned to look at me and asked, “What do you mean?”
“My love for
Evie
was a true love… a pure love… an eternal love. I never even fathomed that I would be without her, so when I lost her, I just went into shock. I shut down,” I admitted. “It’s just since you’ve been back have I felt somewhat like my normal self… felt like I deserve to live again.”
She scooted closer to me and laid her head on my shoulder.
I continued, “I need you around to remind me that I need to keep going. Seeing you persevere and trying to move on with my life, encourages me to do the same because I know that you loved her just as much as I did. I was so scared that I had lost you over what had happened, and I didn’t know how I was going to be able to live with myself. I didn’t get a say in losing
Evie
, she was taken from me… from us, but if I lost you over something that I directly controlled…” I shook my head as my words trailed off.
“Well, that’s not
gonna
happen Maxi, so stop beating yourself up over it. The same can be said for me, but I’m moving on and I’m not
gonna
let it affect
us
. We can’t do anything to change what happened; all we can do is learn from it.”
“Spoken as if it came straight from her mouth.”
She laughed, “Yep, she was a pretty smart cookie. She always had great life advice.”
“Like a fortune cookie,” I joked.
“Ooh, speaking of fortune cookies…”
“We just ate dessert and you are thinking of food?” I teased her.
“I could always go for some Gigi’s.”
“Come on, you and your Gigi’s. We will stop and get some to-go food and take it back to my place.”
“Perfect Maxi.”
SCARLETT
Max and I left the park, stopped to get the food, and went to his apartment where I tried to call Mason again, but this time his voicemail picked up before the phone ever rang. I left another message asking him to call me, hating this impending conversation hanging over my head. However it went... whatever was said… I just wanted it over and done with. The anxiety leading up to it was going to kill me.
We continued talking about the Mason and Bentley thing, and even though Max felt that I was off the mark in thinking that Mason had chosen to move on and wanted to break things off, I knew what I heard that night. I had been drinking, but there was no denying her answering his phone at two o’clock in the morning and his voice calling out for her to bring him a towel. And for that to happen the night after the conversation we had… it was pretty obvious to me.
We then tried to tackle my living situation issues. I knew that living at Ash’s house was not a long term option, but thought I would be okay if I stayed for a week or so until I figured out what I was doing. I had given up my student housing for the spring semester, I couldn’t afford an apartment on my own, and I didn’t have any other friends that were an option. It appeared more and more that my only option was to move back home and to try to come back in the fall. I shook my head wondering what the admissions office at the university would think of me. I came to school for fall semesters, and then had a mental breakdown each December that kept me from continuing in the spring. I highly doubted they were going to go for that again.
“Why don’t we get a place together?” Max asked.
I looked up at him with what I’m sure was the strangest look ever. “What did you say?”
“I said why don’t we get a two bedroom place here? You can afford the difference of what I pay for this. We are close friends; what’s the problem?” he answered with a serious look on his face.
“Max, after what just happened…”
“What? Do you really think either of us would allow it to happen again? I’m
more sure
now that nothing would happen than if we thought of this before. We both know what’s at stake.”
“What is everyone
gonna
think?” I asked worriedly. It really did kind of make sense. He was the only person other than Mina that I would even consider living with, and I knew that we would never again cross that line, but still…
“Who Scarlett?
Ash or Mason?
Because the way I see it, they are the only people that have to know about this. It’s no one else’s business. If they choose to tell other people, then we will deal with that then. But I really don’t fucking care what anyone else thinks if it’s a situation that works for both of us.”
I could tell he was a little frustrated with me. “Why are you upset with me?”
“Because Scarlett, you’ve
gotta
stop caring so much about everyone else and what they think. You’ve
gotta
start doing things to make you happy.”
I sighed and slumped over on the couch. “God, you sound like Ash.”
“I’m not sure what that’s supposed to mean but if he said anything that I just did, he’s a pretty smart guy,” he said laughing.
Groaning, I rolled my eyes at him. “Okay, Mr. Parker. You’ve got a deal. You’re so sure of yourself that this will work… have you ever lived with a female before?”
“My mom,” he retorted quickly.
“Doesn’t count.” I countered.
“Damn.”
“Well, get ready. Just remember three months from now when you’re ready to strangle me, this was your great idea,” I warned him.
“Won’t happen sweetheart. Remember, we are
gonna
make you perfect.”
“I’m far from perfect, Maxi, and always will be.”
“No one is perfect until you fall in love with them. And you sweetheart,” he said as he touched the tip of my nose, “need to learn to love yourself.”
“Okay pot.”
He started laughing hysterically as he stood up and walked across the room. “Point taken kettle. I’m
gonna
call the leasing office and get you a room to sleep in.”
The next few days passed quickly as Max and I began setting up our new apartment. Ash was none too thrilled about the living arrangements when I first told him, but after explaining to him the conversation Max and I had shared, I think he understood, especially since my only other option was moving back with my parents or grandparents. Ash helped us move Max’s things to the new apartment, and both of them went with me shopping for my bedroom furniture. They got along great, talking about music and sports, and I felt so happy when we were all together.
I still hadn’t spoken with Mason. His phone had been off permanently, and the voicemail box was full. Max had tried calling the rest of the band mates, but none of them answered either. I tried not to think about it much, and being with Max and Ash helped, but it was really hard at night. I couldn’t understand how he could change his mind so quickly, just want nothing to do with me or have nothing to say to me. I thought I at least deserved an explanation. I mean I knew that I had been no angel… okay, that really wasn’t the right word to use… I knew that I hadn’t been the best girlfriend, but I wanted to discuss what happened. How do you just get up and walk away from someone you claimed to have loved so much? I knew that our relationship had been strained with the miles between us over the past month, but he just dropped it. Dropped me. No looking back. It really fucking hurt.
The night before Mina and Noah’s wedding, I went to the rehearsal with Max as planned. Everyone was in an upheaval because Bentley had called and cancelled
Jobu’s
Rum’s gig for the reception the day before. They were able to book a DJ last minute, but they really had wanted live music. That’s when I had another one of my great ideas. I slipped away and called Ash, asking… no, begging him to play an acoustic set at the wedding. After several minutes of him rattling off the reasons why he shouldn’t and couldn’t, he finally agreed with the caveat I would sing at least one song with him. I was so excited I skipped back into the party anxious to share the good news.