Amelia Grey's Fireside Dream (28 page)

He fell silent again.

‘What’s all this about? Everyone makes mistakes, sweetheart. I can’t undo the things that I might have done wrong.’

‘No, you can’t. I understand that. I love you, Dad, and what went on with Mum is in the past now. But I need things to change between you and me, here and now.’

‘OK. What is it that you want?’

‘I’ve always respected you, and I now need you to respect me. Where I want to start is with the loan. I don’t want empty promises. Jack and I lent you that money in good faith, and now we need it back. When can you pay us?’

‘It’s been tricky,’ he said. ‘I’ll see what I can do.’

‘I want a date.’

I heard him draw in his breath.

‘Sure,’ he said at last. ‘By Christmas. I’ll have it in your bank account by then.’

‘You swear?’

‘Yes. I won’t let you down this time,’ he promised.

‘Fine. I’m trusting you on this,’ I said.

‘OK. Bye, Amelia.’

After saying goodbye, I pressed the disconnect button on my phone and put it down on the side.

I breathed deeply and sat down. Then, slowly, a smile crept on to my face. I’d done it. I’d finally done it. From now on, I was going to be in control.

*

At just gone six, I heard the door knocker downstairs and went to answer it.

Mirabel was standing on the doorstep with a man with a grey beard, who I vaguely recognized from the village.

‘Hi, you must be Fred. I’m Amelia,’ I said, putting out my hand for him to shake.

‘Pleasure to meet you,’ Fred said. ‘But I won’t be shaking hands if it’s all the same.’ He held up his mud-covered ones. ‘Thanks for lending us Mirabel for the day. Absolute star, she’s been.’

‘Thank you. I’m pleased to hear it,’ I said, trying to catch my sister’s eye, but she was staring at the floor.

Fred said goodbye to Mirabel and walked back towards his muddy Range Rover.

‘God, that was
awful
,’ she said as soon as front door was closed.

‘What did they do to you?’ I asked, feeling the tiniest hint of satisfaction that Fred and Rachel hadn’t gone too easy on her.

‘First I had to muck out the horses. All this dung, it was gross.’ She lifted her checked shirt and sniffed and it. ‘Seriously – I still smell of it. It was completely disgusting. Go on, have a smell if you don’t believe me.’

‘I’ll take your word for it. Give me those clothes and I’ll stick them in the wash.’

Mirabel sighed. ‘Then, when I’d done the mucking out, I had to brush the horses.’

‘That doesn’t sound too bad.’ I said.

‘Actually, that part was OK. They’re going to be in a county show at the weekend, and Rachel wants them to look their best.’

‘Did you get to see the alpacas?’

‘Yes. They’re pretty actually, but really shy. Whenever you get close to them they just run away.’

‘Well, maybe once they get used to you. Perhaps tomorrow when—’

‘I’m not going back there tomorrow,’ Mirabel pronounced.

‘Oh really?’ I said nonchalantly. ‘That’s interesting.’

‘You can’t make me.’

‘I know I can’t.’ I shrugged. ‘But I also know Rachel and Fred will be pretty disappointed if you don’t go back.’

Mirabel sighed and then stomped up the stairs to her room.

On the Mood Board

Period fireplace with a fire lit, cream rug, wicker basket overflowing with logs. Cosy red sofa with cushions. Antique armchair. Curtains in gold and red
.

Thursday, 31 October

I fiddled with the thermostat in the kitchen. We’d barely had the heating on since investing in a new boiler, but today we were going to need it. There was a fine frost on the hedges and trees outside, and hailstones were rattling against the windowpanes. In my pyjamas, dressing gown and furry slippers I was shivering in the kitchen. I heard the boiler flare up and the heating click in, then pressed my hand against the radiator, impatient to feel it heating up.

Mirabel came in with one of my woolly jumpers on over her nightie and leggings. ‘Flipping freezing in this cottage.’

‘I know. I’ve just put the heating on. Fancy tea and some crumpets to help us warm up?’

‘Yes, please.’

I put the kettle on and took a blue and white polka-dot teapot off the dresser.

After Mirabel’s attitude the night before, I was surprised to see that she was up early of her own accord.

‘You’ll soon get warmed up, working with the animals,’ I said, testing the waters.

‘I suppose so.’

‘You’re OK about going to the farm again today, then?’

‘Yes. Nothing better to do around here, anyway.’

‘Fine. Well, I’ll give you a lift in an hour or so.’

‘Actually, do you think … I mean, Rachel said I could help get the horses ready on Saturday for that show, if there’s time before my flight … Would that be OK?’

I hid my smile. ‘I think we could probably manage that, yes.’

*

When I’d dropped Mirabel at the farm, I came back to the cottage. In the living room, Spencer was crouched down with a hammer in his hand, fixing a piece of skirting board.

‘Hi,’ he said, glancing up at me. ‘This skirting’s come loose. Thought I’d tidy it up a bit.’

‘Thanks,’ I said. ‘That seems to be the way with this place – you fix one thing and then find another.’

‘I know what you mean. I love old houses though, don’t you? I wouldn’t swap mine.’

‘I’ve had my moments of doubt. But I’m a convert now, I have to say.’ I glanced back out into the hallway, in case I’d missed Callum somehow. ‘Is, er …’

‘Callum around?’

‘Yes,’ I said, unconsciously smoothing down my hair. ‘I was hoping to talk to him about something.’

‘He’ll be back in a sec. He’s just out in the garden on the phone.’

‘Oh. Right,’ I said, nodding.

‘I sent him out there.’ Spencer smiled and rolled his eyes heavenward. ‘Got sick of hearing all that romantic stuff.’

My breath caught. ‘Romantic?’

‘Don’t worry, it’s not interfering with his work. It’d take more than a new woman on the scene to shake Callum’s focus. I say new, but actually I think there’s some history with this one.’

‘Oh yes?’ I asked, trying to sound like I didn’t care.

‘Spanish girl. I think she’s the reason he’s planning to travel out there.’

Spain. Of course. The trip Callum had told me about. The
one I’d thought showed just how carefree and spontaneous he was, without ties to anyone, anywhere.

‘Right,’ I said. My stomach twisted. Of course there would be a woman in Callum’s life. Why had I assumed there wasn’t?

Sensing a presence behind me, I turned to see him in the doorway, his mobile still in his hand.

‘You’re not listening to Spencer’s gossip, I hope?’ he said with a smile.

I made my excuses and left the room quickly, heading upstairs to my bedroom. Sitting down on my bed, I thought about what Spencer had just told me. I felt like a complete and utter fool. Embarrassment crept up onto my cheeks, which burnt red-hot.

And yet at the same time I felt oddly relieved.

All this time I’d thought there might be something between me and Callum – I’d convinced myself I’d felt some chemistry there, that the attraction I felt towards him was reciprocated. Yet while I’d been thinking about him, he’d been thinking about someone else entirely. His talk of Spain had seemed like a hippy, bohemian escape – a symbol of the freedom that my life no longer contained any trace of. But that was a story I’d invented – his plan to travel was dictated by love and caring, as much as my life was.

Or at least as much as my life had once been. Those priorities had fallen to the bottom of my list lately, and I’d
let that happen. In my quest for happiness and a perfect home, I’d all but disregarded what I already had – my love for Jack and his for me. I’d allowed myself to picture what another man could offer, the alternate self I might be if I wasn’t a wife, a homeowner … or, as Jack seemed to see me, a mum-in-waiting.

I’d been cold and selfish, and it was no surprise he’d ended up stepping away from me. I wouldn’t blame him if he never wanted to come back. But I knew now what I needed – more than that, I wanted him.

Was there still time? If there was a chance of saving this relationship I had to try – and it was down to me to make the first move. I got out my laptop and started typing an email.

*

Later that afternoon I went to pick up Mirabel from the farm.

‘She’s worked really hard today,’ Rachel told me, as we all stood together in the courtyard.

Mirabel scuffed the toe of her welly on the ground. ‘It was quite fun,’ she said, quietly. ‘I learned a lot, actually.’

‘With just two days to get the horses ready for the show
it’s been great to have your help, Mirabel,’ Rachel added, putting her arm round her. ‘I think Dora and Brodie are going to miss you when you go.’

Mirabel glanced up and smiled.

‘Mirabel mentioned that you had the show on Saturday – we should have time for her to go with you before I take her to the airport. If you’re sure that’s OK?’

‘Of course,’ Rachel said. ‘It’s great fun, and only right she should get to see the horses perform after everything she’s done here.’

‘Great,’ Mirabel said. ‘I can’t wait.’

‘Right,’ I said, giving her a gentle nudge. ‘I think it’s about time the two of us got back home and had some dinner, don’t you?’

She nodded.

‘See you tomorrow, Rachel,’ she said.

‘See you – and thanks again.’

Rachel waved us off as we drove away in my car.

‘So you enjoyed it?’ I asked.

‘A bit,’ Mirabel said, taking off her hair elastic and shaking out her ponytail. She raked her dark hair with her hands. ‘Tomorrow Rachel’s going to run through the preparations with me so that we’re all ready for Saturday. She told me something else today too – Dora’s pregnant. She’d going to have a foal.’

‘How lovely.’

‘She promised she’d send pictures, so I can see it when I’m back in Ireland. I sort of wish I could be here when it’s born. Do you think when it’s here you could show it to me on Facetime?’

‘Sure,’ I said.

‘What’s for dinner tonight?’

‘I thought we could have shepherd’s pie. Sound OK to you?’

‘Definitely. I’m absolutely starving.’

We listened to Magic FM in the car as we drove home, singing along to the tunes together. Back at the cottage, Mirabel went upstairs to get showered and changed.

Callum stepped out into the hall as I was hanging up my coat.

‘Hi. Spencer and I have just finished in the living room. Looks like you’re going to have your cottage back to yourself soon.’ He paused. ‘You and Jack will, I mean,’ he added awkwardly.

It was hardly surprising that he’d picked up on the fact that my husband had gone from being a regular presence at the cottage to not being there at all.

‘Great,’ I said brightly. ‘Show me. I’ve been looking forward to seeing it.’

So this was it, I thought. Callum’s last day at the cottage.

He led me into the living room. Walking by his side, I felt
none of the chemistry I’d sensed before – something invisible that had seemed to bind me and him, even when we were no more than strangers. Since finding out about the girl he was seeing in Spain, any imagined connection I’d had with him had faded away. At thirty years old, I’d had a proper schoolgirl crush, and now – thank God – it was over.

‘We stripped the floorboards, sanded and stained them like you asked, and the walls are ready for the new wallpaper.’

‘It looks good,’ I said, surveying the room. It looked so much bigger and lighter without the old carpet. It was somewhere I could actually imagine snuggling down in the evening now, on our sofa, or hosting guests.

‘I can’t thank you and Spencer enough for all you’ve done. We’re up to date on the money, aren’t we?’

‘Yes, that’s sorted, thanks,’ Callum said warmly. ‘We’ve really enjoyed working here. Especially in the garden – my grandma would love how it is now.’

‘Thanks again,’ I said, giving him a hug goodbye. He pulled back after a moment, and his grey-green eyes met mine with an intense gaze.

For a split second I wondered. If maybe, after all, there was something between us.

‘I have a feeling you’re going to be very happy here, Amelia.’

*

On the way to the airport on Saturday, Mirabel filled me in on her morning.

‘It was incredible to see Dora win, after looking after her all week.’

‘It sounds like it was a great day.’

‘Rachel said she was sure it was due to all the care I took of her.’

‘You do seem to have a flair for it. You know what, I bet there are all kinds of NVQ courses you can do in animal care. Is that something you might be interested in?’

‘Maybe,’ she said. ‘It would be better than the stuff we learned at school, I bet.’

‘I’ll look into it for you,’ I said. ‘Send you a few links through.’

‘OK. Thanks.’

I pulled into the short-stay car park. ‘Right. Here we are. You all ready?’

‘Yep,’ she said, getting out.

We walked towards the departures lounge, Mirabel wheeling her suitcase and me carrying her shoulder bag.

‘You’ll be OK, won’t you, getting home?’ I said.

‘Of course I will. What are you getting all worried about? Mum’s already called to say she can pick me up from the airport.’

‘OK. Right. Well, have a safe journey then. Be good.’

‘Thanks for having me,’ she said with a curtsey, a parody
of the polite girl we both knew she wasn’t. ‘And for all the slave-driving.’ She smiled. ‘But seriously, good luck with the house. And say hello to Jack for me.’ She touched my arm, gentle in a way I hadn’t seen before. ‘I hope he comes home soon.’

I took a deep breath. I didn’t want to cry in front of Mirabel, not now. I was supposed to be the strong one.

‘Come back and stay again,’ I said. ‘We’ve got a gorgeous spare room for guests these days.’

She gave me a squeeze and then picked up her bags. ‘See you later, sis.’