Authors: H.L. Mencken
There is a special prison argot, grounded in large part, of course, on thieves’ cant, but with some special terms of its own.
67
Naturally enough, most of the articles of the prison bill-of-fare have derisory names. In virtually all American prisons stew is
slum
, bread is
punk
or
dummy
, gravy is
skilley
, sugar is
sand
or
dirt, eggs
are
bombs
, roast beef is
young-horse
, sausages are
beagles
or
pups
, and coffee is
jamoca
(apparently from
Java
and
Mocha
). A prisoner lately
dressed in
is a
fish
, a sentence is a
bit
, the isolation cells are the
hole
, the
ice-box
, or the
cooler, good time
is the prisoner’s allowance for good behavior, a guard is a
screw
or
hack
, a recidivist is a
two-time loser
(or
three-time
or
n-time
, as the case may be), visiting day is the
big day
, a prison visitor is a
hoosier
, hacksaw blades are
briars
, the prison itself is the
big house
, a reformatory is a
college
or
ref
,
a county workhouse is a
band-box
, and a police-station is a
can
. To smuggle a letter out of the place is
to fly a kite
. To escape is
to crash, to blow, to cop a mope
, or
to go over the wall
To be released is
to spring
or
to hit the bricks
. To go crazy while in confinement is
to go stir-bug
. To report a prisoner for violating a rule is
to turn him in
. To be imprisoned for life is
to do the book
or
to do it all
. To have no hope of release is
to be buried, lagged
or
settled
. To be sentenced to death is
to get the works
. To be hanged is
to be topped
or
to dance
. To be electrocuted is
to burn, to fry
or
to squat
. The march to the electric-chair is the
last waltz
. The chair itself is the
hot-seat
or
hot-squat
, and the death-house is the
dance-hall
. Special argots are also in use in various lesser sorts of hoosegow,
e.g.
, reformatories and orphanages. The only report that I have been able to find on the vocabulary of incarcerated orphans
68
indicates that the young inmates speak a jargon made up of borrowings from both school slang and criminal cant. From the former come
bull-fest, collegiate, nifty
and
pash
, and from the latter
to scram, to gyp
and
screw
(a watchman or officer).
The argot of tramps and hoboes also coincides with that of criminals, for though some of them are far from felons they inhabit a section of the underworld, and are pursued almost as relentlessly as yeggmen by the constabulary. Tramps and hoboes are commonly lumped together, but in their own sight they are sharply differentiated. A
hobo
or
bo
is simply a migratory laborer; he may take some longish holidays, but soon or late he returns to work. A
tramp
never works if it can be avoided; he simply travels. Lower than either is the
bum
, who neither works nor travels, save when impelled to motion by the police. The
wobblies
(members of the I.W.W.) of the years following the war were hoboes but certainly not tramps or bums. But all three classes use substantially the same argot.
69
In
it a bed-roll is a
bindle
or
balloon
, and the man who carries one is a
bindle-stiff
. A blanket is a
soogan
and a suitcase is a
turkey
. The place where tramps and hoboes foregather is a
jungle
or
hang-out
, and one who frequents it unduly, hoping to cadge food from the more enterprising, is a
jungle-buzzard
. A beggar is a
panhandler
and an old one is a
dino
. A sneak-thief is a
prowler
, a dirty fellow (most tramps are relatively clean) is a
grease-ball, a
Texan is a
long-horn
, a Southerner is a
rebel
, a migratory worker is a
boomer
, an employment-agent is a
shark
, and a farmer or other poor simpleton is a
scissor-bill
. The tramp who carries a boy with him, to rustle food for him and serve him otherwise, is a
jocker
or
wolf
, and the boy is a
punk
,
gazooney, guntzel, lamb
or
prushun
.
70
To steal washing off the line is to
gooseberry
it. The discourse heard in mission-halls is
angel-food
, and the bum who listens to it is a
mission-stiff
. A Catholic priest is a
buck
or
Galway
, and the Salvation Army is
Sally Ann
. In the days before hitch-hiking, hoboes spent a great deal of their time stealing rides on the railroads, and their railroad vocabulary remains rich and racy. A locomotive is a
hog
, a coal-car is a
battle-wagon
, a caboose is a
crummy
, a freight-car is a
rattler
, a refrigerator-car is a
reefer
, a freight-train is a drag, a fast freight is a
manifest
or
red-ball
, an engineer is a
hoghead
, a conductor is a
con
, a brake-man is a
Shack
or
brakie
, and a section-hand is a
gandy-dancer
. Most of the larger railroads of the country have names in the argot of the road. The Chicago & Alton is the
Carry-all
, the Chicago, Burlington & Quincy is the
Q
, the Baltimore and Ohio is the
Dope
, the Missouri Pacific is the
Mop
, the Southern Pacific is the
Soup Line
, and that part of it between Maricope, Ariz., and Yuma is the
Gila Monster Route
. In the old days a small town used to be a
tank
or a
jerkwater
, but now it is a
filling-station
. A tramp’s professional name is his
moniker, e.g., Frisco Slim
. The favorite jungle delicacy is
mulligan
or
slum
, a stew made of meat and vegetables. Food in general is
chuck, garbage
or
scoffings
, a meal given out at a kitchen door is a
lump
, milk is
cow-juice
, butter is
salve
or
axle-grease
, soup is
shackles
or
Peoria
, beer is
slops
, coffee is
hot-stuff, mud
or
embalming-fluid
, pancakes are
flat-cars
, sausage is
gut
, a chicken is a
gump
or
two-step
, catsup is
red-lead
, eggs are
headlights
, corned beef and cabbage
is
Irish turkey
, pastry is
toppings
, and the meringue on a pie is
calf-slobber
.
A large part of the argot of the hoboes is borrowed from that of the railroad men. In both, for example, a locomotive is a
hog
and an engineer is a
hoghead
. But the railroad men also have many picturesque terms that their unwelcome guests have never picked up. To them a conductor is not a
con
, but
Captain
, a
grabber
, the
master
, the
skipper
, the
king-pin
, the
big-ox
or the
brains
. A passenger brakeman is a
baby-lifter
, a fireman is a
bell-ringer, tallow-pot, stoker, smoke, bakehead, fireboy
or
diamond-cracker
, a trainmaster is a
master-mind
, a master-mechanic is a
master-maniac
, a machinist is a
nut-splitter
, a telegraph-operator is a
brass-pounder
, a car-repairer is a
car-toad
or
carwhacker
, an air-brake repairman is an
air-monkey
, a switchman is a
cinder-cruncher, snake, goose
or
clown
, a yard-master is a
dinger, ringmaster
or the
general
, his assistant is a
jam-buster
, a train-dispatcher is a
detainer
, a yard-conductor is a
drummer
, a track-laborer is a
jerry
or
snipe
, the foreman of a track-gang is the
king snipe
, and a yard-clerk is a
mudhop, number-grabber
or
number-dummy
. They use
crummy
to designate a caboose, but they also use
buggy, hack, hearse, cage, clown-wagon, crib, dog-house, louse-cage, monkey-house, parlor, way-car, shanty
or
hut
. The last is sometimes also applied to the cab of a locomotive. A Pullman sleeper is a
snoozer
, a large locomotive is a
battleship
, a stock-car is a
cow-cage
, a passenger-car is a
cushion
, a cross-over is a
diamond
, a train-order is a
flimsy
, a freight-yard is a
garden
, a switch is a
gate
, a yard-engine is a
goat
, a signal torpedo is a
gun
, a go-ahead hand or lantern signal is a
high-ball
, a fast passenger-train is a high-
liner
, the tool-box under the caboose is a
possum-belly
, a helper locomotive for mountain use is a
pusher, roof-garden
or
sacred-ox
, the step at the front end of a yard-engine is a
scoop
, telegraph wires are
strings
, and a yard-office is a
bee-hive
. To cool a hot-box is
to freeze the hub
, to set the brakes is
to anchor her
, to set the emergency-brakes is
to wing her
, to jump from a car is
to hit the grit
, to boast is
to blow smoke
, to quit for the day is
to pin for home
, and to quit the service is
to pull the pin
. The old term
boomer
, designating a railroad man given to drifting from road to road, is now almost obsolete, for there are very few boomers left.
71
Another argot that
impinges upon the speech of hoboes is that of the circus and carnival men. The carnival men, indeed, also borrow a great deal from criminal cant, for in parts at least their business skirts the dim frontiers of the law. They have effected some changes of meaning in their borrowings. Thus
gonov
, which means a thief to thieves, means a fool on the carnival lot, and the same meaning is given to
guntzel
, which means, in the jungles, the boy companion of a tramp. To the carnival men a stand outside a show is a
bally-stand
, concessions are
joints
or
hooplas
, a seller of cheap novelties is a
gandy-dancer
, a hamburger-stand is a
grab-joint
, a fortune-teller’s tent is a
mit-joint
, a photograph-gallery is a
mug-joint
, cheap prizes are
slum
or
crap
, a snake-eater or other such freak is a
geek
, a gambling concession is a
flat-joint
, and the man operating it is a
thief
.
72
The circus men have a rather more seemly vocabulary.
73
To them the gaudy pictures in front of the side-shows constitute the
banner-line
, the circus-programme is the
Bible
, toy balloons are
bladders
, tickets are
dukets
, the ringmaster is always the
equestrian-director
, the powder used for making pink lemonade and other such drinks is
flookum
, the manager of the circus is the
gaffer
, a hamburger-stand is a
grease-joint
, the men who drive stakes are the
hammer gang
, a dressing-tent is a
pad-room
, that for clowns is
Clown Alley
, posters are
paper
, bouncers are
pretty boys
, the big tent is the
rag
, the men who load and unload the show are
razorbacks
, clowns are
white-faces
or
Joeys
, acrobats are
kinkers
, bareback riders are
rosinbacks
, and the tattooed man is the
picture-gallery
. The patrons are always
suckers
. A man who works animals is never a
tamer
, but always a
trainer
. Elephants,
whether male or female, are
bulls
, zebras are
convicts
, tigers are
stripes
, and camels are
humps. To slough
is to strike the tents preparatory to moving on,
to spot
is to lay out their situation on the next lot,
to kife
is to swindle, and
to three-sheet
is to boast. The
Monday-man
, who had an exclusive concession to raid clothes-lines in the vicinity of the lot, has succumbed to the accumulating virtue of circuses, and the
mud-show
, drawn from town to town by horses, has gone with him.
74
The theater, which is one of the chief sources of popular slang, also has a florid argot, and in part it is almost esoteric enough to amount to a cant. “Shouted by a breathless dancer to her companions, bawled by a lusty stage-hand to his mates, mulled sagely back and forth by two spent animal-trainers,” says Gretchen Lee, “it conveys nothing whatever to the casual ear. They might better be speaking Choctaw.”
75
This lingo reached its most extravagant forms among vaudeville performers, who are now much less important and numerous than they used to be in
show business
. (Observe that the article is always omitted.) Some years ago Julius H. Marx printed the following specimen dialogue between two of them, met by chance on Broadway: