America's Bravest (18 page)

“He is. He was busting my balls, though. He
said something about weddings and babies.”

“That’s premature, isn’t it?”

“I think so. I hope you do, too.”

“I don’t understand.”

“When you said you’re emotional, I wondered
about PMS.”

Damn it, she blushed. “It’s funny you should
say that.”

His eyes widened and he lay back on his
pillow, stared up at the ceiling. “Don’t tell me you’re pregnant.
Please God, don’t.”

Pain pricked at her heart. She certainly
didn’t want to have a child before they solidified their
relationship, but she also wouldn’t pray to God for it not to
happen, as if pregnancy was a terminal illness. For
self-protection, she brought up the sheet around her breasts. “I’m
late is all I know.”

“How late?” He still wouldn’t look at
her.

“Three weeks.”

“Jesus Christ.”

Think rationally, Emma. Don’t fly off the
handle.

“There’s no reason to think I’m pregnant. We
used protection each time.”

“So did both my brothers and they each had a
surprise baby.” His tone was so disgusted it shocked her. And so
cold. Very cold.

Emma lay back, too. “Well, I’ll give it a few
more days. If I don’t get my period, I’ll do a pregnancy test.”

Suddenly, he whipped off the covers. “No,
you’ll do one now. I’m going to get a kit.”

She sat up, too. “Do you really think that’s
necessary?”

He stuffed his legs into his pants and
dragged on the sweater. “If I ever want to get any sleep again or
have some measure of sanity for the next few days, then, yes, it
is.”

“I see.”

“Stay right where you are. I’ll be back
soon.”

Brody hurried out.

And Emma burst into tears. He was treating
her like a…problem. Like a woman who was going to trap him into
something he didn’t want to do. He’d been abhorred at the thought
of her being pregnant with his child. She didn’t want that, either,
not now, but it wouldn’t be the end of the world.

He was gone twenty minutes, during which she
dressed in her pants and one of his shirts, stuffed the teddy in
her coat pocket and vacillated between anger, fear and
understanding. When he burst back into the bedroom, she didn’t show
any of those emotions. Wordlessly, she took the kit and walked into
the bathroom.

Peed on the stick.

Stayed there until the results came in. Then
she walked back into the bedroom.

Calmly, she handed him the stick.

And just like that, he turned back into the
man he was an hour ago. “Whew! That’s good.”

“Yes it is.”
Her
voice was cold
now.

“It’s the most accurate one. I knew that from
studying for my paramedic recertification.”

“Oh, good.”

He didn’t take her in his arms. He didn’t
say, “Let’s discuss what happened here.” Instead, he stood there
and shifted from one foot to the other.

Emma lifted her chin. “I have to get home. An
early day tomorrow.”

“Oh, yeah, sure. Say hi to Lucy.

Head high, Emma walked out of the
bedroom.

“So, how’s Emma?” Ryan asked the question as
he and Brody rode the chair-lift up the slope of Mountain Tree Ski
Resort, about an hour from Hidden Cove. “I’m kind of surprised you
wanted to come with us.”

“I’m surprised you went this year. You can’t
ski yet.”

“Nah, but I enjoy the air. I don’t mind
taking the ski lift back down. It’s fun being on the mountain after
I was cooped up for so long. So, why’re you here?”

Bracing wind whipped Brody’s face as he
turned to his brother. “I love to ski. And I haven’t seen your cop
buddies in a while.”

“What’s Emma doing today?”

Brody shrugged a shoulder encased in a warm,
bright blue ski jacket. “I don’t exactly know. We’re taking a
little break.”

“Is that why you’ve been so available for a
week? I thought maybe it was because her sister’s here.”

Fuck! Brody didn’t want to deal with his
relationship with Emma today. All week, he’d been blocking what had
happened in his bedroom the night Lucy came to visit. The night he
and Emma were supposed to have a hot little quickie. Not only had
he panicked when she’d told him she’d missed her period, but he’d
let her leave without talking about his reaction, admitting he’d
acted like a jerk, trying to determine why. She had to be hurt by
his abrupt behavior.

Not to mention the fact that he hadn’t called
her all week.

“Things were going too fast between us,” he
told Ryan as they moved through the crisp morning air. “I think we
need to slow down.”

“Does she agree?”

Body couldn’t look at his brother, instead
stared down at the white snow beneath them. “I um, I didn’t talk to
her about it.”

“Jesus, Brody. You can’t just stop calling
her after she gave you another chance.”

Because he knew he was wrong, he snapped at
Ryan. “This from the guy who’s left a stream of broken hearts from
here to New York?”

“Now that’s a low blow. You know I’ve
changed.”

“Yeah, well, I thought I had, too. I thought
I wanted to settle down.” He shook his head. “That pregnancy scare
did me in, Rye. I’m not ready for a baby in my life.”

“And she is?”

“No, she said the opposite.”

The lift reached the peak of the snowcapped
mountain. With the sun crystal clear above them, Brody hopped off
the lift and took a deep breath. “This is what I need. To make some
tracks.”

Ryan grabbed his arm. “Brody, think about
what you’re doing here.”

“I am. I’m going to race down the slope.” He
pulled his goggles over his eyes, set his skies, hunched over his
poles and took off. The freezing cold numbed him, which was exactly
what he wanted. He wouldn’t think about Ryan’s words or the shit he
was at having left Emma alone all week after a pretty disastrous
experience.

One
he
had caused.

oOo

“I hate him!” Lucy sat across from Emma in
the whirlpool of the gym Emma belonged to. The steam rising and the
hot water bubbling around them was supposed to make them relax, but
Lucy’s face was taut with anger. “I told you it was a bad idea to
start seeing him again, when I called from Paris.”

Her sister had had a front row seat to Emma’s
devastation when Brody had broken up with her in high school.

“Apparently you were right.” Emma couldn’t
believe that Brody hadn’t called her or come over or set up a time
for dinner with her and Lucy. She never expected the cold shoulder,
even after his hurtful behavior that night in his bedroom. And she
was mad, too. If anyone had a right to be distanced, it was
her.

Leaning back against the ceramic edge of the
tub, Lucy sighed. “I wonder what he plans to do, just never see you
again?”

Emma’s eyes stung. “Could be. In any case, I
need to stop thinking about a future with him. Even if came
groveling back, how can he explain his overreaction that night and
freezing me out this week?”

Lucy suggested, “Maybe he’s trying to get his
head on straight?” Her sister loved her and was trying to be fair
for Emma’s sake.

“Well, it looks to me like he did exactly
what he said he wouldn’t do—have a fling with me.” Tears coursed
down her cheeks. Emma scooped up some of the water and splashed it
on her face.

“The bastard.” Lucy reached for her hand.
“I’m sorry.”

“Yeah, me too—that I ever believed he’d
changed.”

oOo

“The house was on fire. There was a kid
inside. I went.” Brody faced down his battalion chief with a
carelessness about his job that he hadn’t known he possessed. He’d
always approached his work with the utmost professionalism.

Erikson’s light complexion reddened in
contrast to his stark white shirt. “Against strict orders by me
that the house was fully involved and evacuation was in
process.”

There was that. Brody shifted his stance. “I
couldn’t leave a kid in there, Chief.”

The BC cocked his head. “Brody, this isn’t
you. You never act so irresponsibly.”

“I don’t see what I did as
irresponsible.”

Again, the chief surveyed him. “Well, I do
and that’s what matters. You’re suspended without pay for two days.
Starting right now.”

“I’m calling my union rep.”

“Go ahead. Meanwhile, get out of here and
clear your head. It’s usually on a lot straighter than it is
now.”

With the chief’s words echoing in his brain,
Brody stormed from the office. Grabbing the duffle he’d left on the
kitchen table, he stormed outside. He blanked his mind and refused
to question his actions; he was right to have saved that kid. Just
ask her mother.

What are you running from?
Ryan
asked after word got around Brody was in trouble because of his
actions in the fire. Rye got on Brody’s ass about it, too.

But he wasn’t running. He was doing his
job.

His behavior on the line had nothing to do
with Emma Walsh.

oOo

Emma literally bumped into Mark in the
teachers’ cafeteria of the elementary school. She was staring down
at her tray of food and didn’t see him. He grasped her arms to
steady her. “Hi, there.” Though his words were cheerful, his eyes
showed the hurt she’d caused. And for what?

“Hi, Mark. What are you doing here?”

“Meeting with your principal about a peer
tutoring program between our two schools.”

“That’s nice.” She shifted her tray.

He studied her face. She knew what he’d see
there—dark circles under her eyes, taut skin, frown lines. “Are you
all right?”

“Yes, of course.”

He shook his head. “Em, I know you well
enough to see something’s wrong.” He motioned to an empty round
table across the room. “Let’s sit. I’ll get my meal and be right
back.”

She wasn’t sure why she agreed. Maybe she
needed a man to be nice to her again.

After he returned and while he ate, she
picked at her meal.

“Tell me what’s going on.”

“I feel bad seeing you again, Mark. I wasn’t
very nice to you.”

“Honey, you were great, as always.” He
averted his gaze to the window where snow fell in big fat flakes.
“I wish Brody O’Malley hadn’t come into our lives when he did,
though.”

In so many ways, she did, too. But the least
she could do was to keep her regrets from Mark. She’d done enough
damage to him.

So, she put on a fake smile. “What are your
holiday plans?”

“Going back to Nebraska to see my mom and
sisters. I, um, don’t have New Year’s Eve plans now, so I’ll stay
for the whole vacation.”

She sucked in a breath. “I’m so sorry,
Mark.”

“Hey, I’ll get through it.” He winked at her.
“There’s this cute English teacher who’s been making excuses to
come to my office. People, um, know we broke up. Thanks, by the
way, for not broadcasting about you and Brody.”

“It was the least I could do.”

“How about you? What are your plans for
Christmas?”

Emma thought about the upcoming holiday
without Brody. It stretched grimly before her. Still, she disguised
her sadness. “Lucy’s here. We’re going to Florida for the break.
I’m looking forward to it.”

“Tell her I said hi.”

They made small talk as they finished their
lunches, and Emma remembered how easy it was to be with this man,
how there was no drama in their interactions, no subtext lurking
beneath the surface.

Which was why, when he walked out of the
cafeteria to go to his meeting, her throat felt like a sock was
stuffed in it.

What had she done to her future?

oOo

On his first full day of suspension, Brody
put in new garbage disposals for him and Ryan, tore up his living
room rug in preparation for installing hardwood floors, and at ten,
when he still wasn’t exhausted enough to sleep, he headed for
Badges. He’d have a drink and let the comfort of his favorite place
soothe him.

When he walked in, some Doors music blared
from the jukebox and there was loud chatter from the dozens of
patrons tonight. He was surprised to see Tony Ramirez at the bar.
“Hey, Tony, what’re you doing here? It’s pretty late for an old
married man to be out.”

“Having a beer. Sit. I’ll buy you one.” Brody
dropped down on a stool next to him. “Hey, sorry about the
suspension,” Tony said after he ordered a Coors for Brody.

“Yeah, well, I deserved it.”

Tony stared into space, not really seeing the
mirror behind the bar or the two bartenders. “It’s hard, isn’t it,
putting our own safety ahead of a victim? I’m not sure I wouldn’t
have done what you did with the kid.”

“Thanks for saying that. But the beautiful
Sophia would have your ass for it.”

“You got that.”

Something about his tone alerted Brody.
Besides, he and Tony talked sometimes, late at night, when the
others were asleep. He spoke of his wife as if she’d hung the moon.
“Problems at home?”

“Things have been brewing a while.” He looked
at Brody, his brown eyes bleak. “I’m not sure any firefighter’s
wife ever truly accepts the job.”

“I thought yours did.”

“I thought so, too.” He shook his head.
“Let’s not talk about this. Tell me about Emma.”

“Nothing to tell. Our relationship is a mess.
I’ve been blowing it.”

“Well, I’m not exactly in the position to
give advice, but I—”

“Hello there, gentleman. Can I buy America’s
Bravest drinks?”

At first Brody didn’t recognize the woman
who’d slithered up to the bar. The long luscious hair. The
sparkling violet eyes. But then Tony said, “No thanks, it would be
like consorting with the enemy, Ms. Allen.” He stood. “I’m
leaving.” He socked Brody on the arm. “Come with me.”

That’s right. Now he recognized Parker Allen,
the reporter waging war against the fire and police departments. To
Tony, he said, “Ah, no. I think I’ll consort a bit.”