America's Bravest (49 page)

Eventually he had. But he’d never forgotten
what he still considered her infidelity. Years later, he and Cal
had talked about what was worse—Annette’s emotional cheating or
Laura’s physical unfaithfulness. They never came up with an answer
and decided both were equally painful.

Now, Max went farther into the room and
brushed his hand across the colorful afghan Annette had knitted. No
wonder he’d reacted so badly to tonight’s revelation about Daisy.
He just hadn’t realized he’d already gotten so involved with
Sydney. Jesus, he was really hurt and needed to step back.

oOo

At ten o’clock, Sydney lost the battle with
her more sensible side and now sat in her car in front of Max’s
house, staring at the three-storey showplace. She didn’t belong
here, she knew she didn’t, but she couldn’t stand the idea of what
had happened earlier going unexplained. She and Max had been so
close for weeks and she’d come to like him—a lot. She thought he’d
reciprocated her feelings, but today he seemed repulsed by her.

Still, you don’t owe him any
explanations.

“I know,” she said aloud. But she exited the
car anyway, pulled her light cotton sweater tighter around her and
marched down the front bricked path past lush landscaping and
budding flowers. Taking the one step up to the porch, she rang the
bell, knowing Amber wasn’t home so she wouldn’t wake the girl. No
answer. Hmm. Maybe he went out. Maybe he had a date. When the
notion caused her heart to squeeze in her chest, she shook her
head. What was she
doing?
Since Ken, she hadn’t let any
guy make her feel this way. She rang again, and again. She’d turned
to leave when the door opened. Max stood in the entryway, in pajama
bottoms, no shirt, his hair damp and his skin glowing. “Sydney? I
was in the shower and just heard the bell. What are you doing
here?”

“I came to talk to you. Can I come in?”

He hesitated. And that hurt.

“Look, I won’t stay. I have a few things to
say.” A thought assaulted her. “Oh, unless you have company.”

He shook his head. “No, Sydney. I don’t have
a woman here. I’m not the type to sleep around.”

A good enough opening. “But now you think I
am. And worse.”

Without responding, he stepped aside. “Come
in.”

He led her back to the family room. The
fireplace in the corner was dark, but she could have used its
warmth. “Sit. Can I get you something?”

She dropped down onto a couch and he stood
across from her. His face was granite hard and unyielding and she
was having trouble reconciling him with the man she’d been with for
weeks. But she was going to give this a shot. “How about an open
mind?”

“Excuse me?”

“I saw your face when Ken came up to us and
his daughter spilled the beans.”

“Yeah? And I saw yours, too.”

“I was shocked.”

“So was he.”

“What do you mean?”

He finally sat. “It’s obvious Daisy is his
and he didn’t know anything about her.”

Taking in a deep breath, she sat back.
“That’s not true. Not exactly anyway.” Shit, she was just going to
spit it out. “He knew I was pregnant. He—” God this was hard. “He
gave me money for an abortion. I had her instead and spent the
money on baby stuff.”

“And never told him what you did.”

“No, I didn’t. Why should I, when he wanted
to get rid of her?”

“Because he’s her father.”

“Only biologically.”

Max stared past her. “Well, none of this is
really my business.”

That was a slap in the face.

“After what’s happened between us, how can
you say that?”

He focused on her and his green gaze was
cold. “Maybe I don’t want it to be my business.”

Self-defense made her stand. “Fine. Sorry I
bothered you. I thought you might want to know the whole story.
That his actions before her birth might make a difference.”
Turning, she strode out of the family room, through the living room
and had reached for the front doorknob when he grabbed her shoulder
from behind. Caught off guard, she was easily whirled around.

His face was still set in hard planes and
angles. “Damn it. Damn this whole situation.” He shoved her against
the wall and took her mouth. It was a hard, bruising kiss and tears
sprang to her eyes. He was passionate in all their encounters, but
tender. Always tender. Tonight he was rough and uncaring.

No, this wasn’t going to happen. She wasn’t
going to let a man make her feel inferior and inadequate again. She
pushed him away. He stumbled backward, and his face was blank.
“Don’t you dare kiss me like I’m some slut you can manhandle! Okay,
I made a mistake when was barely out of my teens. I came here
tonight to explain things, so you wouldn’t see in me in a bad
light. For some fucking reason, that was important to me. But I
won’t be mistreated.”

He still held her shoulders, but his grip on
her gentled. He seemed shocked now. “Oh, God, Sydney, I’m sorry. I
don’t know what’s come over me. I behave so out of character with
you.”

She tried to step back but he held her in
place. “Don’t worry, except for seeing you at work while you finish
the articles for the magazine, I won’t come near you again and
throw you off your game. And I’d appreciate the same consideration.
We’ll work something out with Amber so she doesn’t have to suffer
for our mistake.” This time she did yank away. “Good-bye, Max.”

Sydney had done the right thing; she knew she
had. She only wished she didn’t hurt so much. But she was strong.
She knew she could handle anything. If she could get over Ken’s
rejection and have a baby on her own, she could survive the loss of
a man who’d only been in her life a few short weeks.

oOo

As he held a paper he’d picked from the
department’s Joke Jar, Brody O’Malley sat across from Max,
grinning. Brody had said Max looked down since he’d come in this
morning and needed some cheering up. “You’ll like this one since
you’re friends with Chief Erikson.” Brody looked at the paper and
read aloud. “A fire chief died and went to heaven. When he got
there, he saw a long line waiting to get in to the pearly gates. He
told himself, ‘I am a Fire Chief, I'm not going to wait in line.’
He went to the angels guarding the gates and said, ‘Let me in, I'm
a Fire Chief.’

“The angels replied, ‘You'll have to wait in
line like everyone else, sir.’

“While waiting at the back of the line, he
saw a sedan pull up with red lights flashing and a man got out
wearing a white helmet that said Chief. The angels popped to
attention and let the guy enter heaven.

“The waiting fire chief was really upset now
and went to talk to the angels. He asked, ‘Why did you let that
Fire Chief go through and not me?’

“To which the angels replied, ‘You have it
all wrong, sir. That's
God
, he just thinks he's Fire
Chief.’”

The stupid joke almost made Max laugh. If
he’d slept last night, if he hadn’t behaved so badly with Sydney,
he would be caught up in Brody’s good mood. “Don’t let Cal hear
that one,” he replied halfheartedly. Then he glanced at his
computer. “All right, we’ll stay with the good stuff. Tell me
something pleasant about your crew.”

“We’re all saps these days, even Sydney until
she came in today.” He frowned. “She barked at me when I asked her
what was wrong.”

Max ignored the last comment. “You’re saps
because—?” Though he knew why.

“We’re in love.” A slight frown. “Sorry, I
know your wife’s dead.”

“It was a while ago. Besides, I like seeing
people happy. Tell me about Emma.”

“For the magazine?”

“I won’t print anything bad. But I talked to
Felicia and she filled me in on your brother. What’s it like having
them involved?”

An even broader smile. “Unbelievably good.
The four of us do a lot of stuff together. Right now, we’re
remodeling the duplex I used to share with him until I moved into
Emma’s house. He and Licia bought my half from me when they got
together. They’re going to live there after they…”

Max raised a brow.

“Can’t tell you the rest yet. It’ll be public
soon.”

Brody went on about his life with Emma and
his job as a firefighter. Max found himself envying the man’s
situation, as he had with Felicia. Despite their one issue, he’d
loved Annette to distraction and was hoping maybe he and Sydney…
What was the use in thinking about that? There was no future for
them. Not after he blew it big-time. And he wasn’t even over his
confusion, maybe even disgust, that she’d hooked up with a married
man.

Max wound down the interview with Brody just
as Tony Ramirez walked through the kitchen with the woman Max
couldn’t stop thinking about.

“Where you two going?” Brody asked.

“Outside to play basketball. Sydney needs
some exercise, she says, and she thinks she can beat me on some
one-on-one today.” He zeroed in on Max. “You know, you should put
this in that magazine of yours. Parker Allen keeps ragging on us
for our
downtime.
What she doesn’t know is we stay fit and
let off steam for the calls.”

He noticed Sydney didn’t even look at him but
stared out the window, her back to them. “Let off stream?”

“Come on, Tony,” Sydney said, again without
turning around. “I’m restless.”

“Be right there, babe.”

After he made some notes on his computer, Max
got coffee and headed outside. He knew he shouldn’t. First of all,
Sydney wouldn’t want him there. Second, it wasn’t good for him.
He’d made a decision and should stick to it. But like before, he
was drawn to her.

He didn’t expect what he found on the
blacktop. The weather was warm at noon in May and though they were
in T-shirts, they still wore uniform pants and sneakers. Sweat
glistened off Sydney’s face and arms; she had the ball and dribbled
around Tony. He got in front of her again and body-blocked a shot.
She rammed into him hard enough to recoil back. “Hey, that was a
foul.” Her tone was annoyed.

“No fouls, remember. If you’re not up to
this, girl…”

“Shut up and play.”

Tony took the ball out. Sydney jogged to the
key they’d painted on the blacktop. Hands up, she shifted from side
to side. He noted the play of her muscles, the healthy sheen of her
skin. Slowly, Tony dribbled the ball, never taking his gaze from
her face. He went right, she went left. He went left and she stole
the ball. Pivoting, he tried to get it back from her and she jabbed
him with her elbow. “Hey, watch it. That hurt.”

She kept dribbling and went for an easy
layup. Her movements were graceful, agile, and she looked…good
doing them.

Leaning against the brick of the firehouse,
Max was mesmerized at their rough play and at their competence.
Until Ramirez stole the ball, she blocked him and he ran into her,
knocking her over flat onto her back.

Max bolted across the blacktop. “Jesus
Christ, Ramirez.” He dropped to his knees, as did Tony, while
Sydney lay prone on the blacktop.

“Hey, kiddo, you okay?” Tony asked.

Taking a deep breath, she nodded. “I got the
wind knocked out of me is all.”

“That’s because you’re playing like you’re in
the NBA.” Max turned to Tony. “You should be more careful with
her.”

Tony cocked his head. He stared at Max, then
looked to Sydney. She eased up to a sitting position and appeared
equally nonplussed.

Tony asked, “What going on between you
two?”

oOo

Sydney had seen Max come out to the blacktop
and caught sight of him watching her. And okay, maybe she played a
little harder than usual. But now, as he hovered above her, his
face showing shock and concern, she thought,
Tough
shit
.

Max sighed deeply. “I don’t exactly know,
Tony. Can I have a word with Sydney?”

The man stared him down. “I don’t think
so.”

“Let me up.” They stood and backed away.
Sydney rolled to her feet. “I’ll talk to him by myself.”

“You sure?”

“Uh-huh. Go put some ice on your ribs.”

Snorting, he walked into the firehouse,
leaving them alone. Appropriately, clouds had come out, and the sun
went behind them.

She plopped her hands on her hips. “What’s
going on with you? Last night you were horrible to me and now
you’re acting like a worried suitor. It’s not okay.”

He jammed a hand through his hair, mussing
it. His face was stiff with tension. “I have no idea what’s going
on with me.” He waited a beat. “No, that’s not true. I know one
thing. I behaved badly last night. I think my emotions are so
conflicted that I’m acting like a jerk. If you only knew how much
this wasn’t me.”

“I bring out the worst in you.”

This time, he touched her arm with
gentleness, and his eyes warmed. Still, she remembered how they’d
turned glacial yesterday when she’d told him about Ken. “Actually,
no. I’ve been in a holding pattern for years. I’ve controlled every
reaction, every emotion I’ve had. I think that’s why I haven’t
dated. Around you, I can’t seem to get a grip on myself.”

Shaking her head as if what he said didn’t
make a difference, Sydney crossed to the bench and picked up a
towel she’d left there. She wiped her face with it to stall for
time. What did she really want here? “There’s an easy solution to
all this, Max. We stay away from each other. You control yourself
better when you’re at the firehouse and I’ll avoid you.”

Brows raised, he crossed his arms over his
chest and frowned. “I’m not sure that’s what I want. And I’m
furious with myself for last night. I’m so sorry about what I did.
I don’t think you’re a slut and I wasn’t treating you that way. I
simply let out all my feelings.”

She shrugged. “Whatever. All’s forgiven. Now,
leave me alone.”

He watched her as if he was deciding his
fate. “Is there a chance we can keep seeing each other. Work this
out?”