Amish Circle Letters II: The Second Circle of Letters (3 page)

By the time the last guests had left, Steve and Mimi were exhausted. They sat side by side, holding hands in the sitting area of Mimi
’s parents’ house. The house was quiet and her parents had gone to bed, giving the newlyweds some time alone on their first night as husband and wife.

Steve stroked Mimi
’s hand, staring down at the small fingers entwined with his own. They were the hands of a young woman who had not worked the fields or milked dozens of cows. But Steve knew that they were the hands of the woman he had just committed to love for the rest of their lives, the hands of the woman who would hold their babies, the hands of a woman who would still be holding his when they were older and staring at the stars on a warm summer night.

“It was a right gut day,” he said.

She leaned her head against his shoulder and shut her eyes. “A right gut day, ja.”

“You are happy,” he said, more as a statement than a question.

“Oh, I am
very
happy,” she replied, a smile on her face. She raised her head from his shoulder and looked at him. “How could I not be happy, Steve Fisher? I have the most wonderful man as my husband.”

He laughed and lifted her hand to his lips, kissing the back of her fingers. “That
’s some mighty high praise, Mimi Fisher.”

“
Ja vell
,” she said. “It’s true.”

“I imagine that
’s yet to be seen, ain’t so?” He stroked the back of her hand with his thumb, loving the feel of her soft skin under his touch.
Mimi Fisher.
It had a nice ring to it, this new name of hers. Steve liked saying it almost as much as he liked hearing it.

“I do so envy Mary Ruth,” Mimi sighed, breaking the silence.

Steve frowned at her admission. What was there to envy about Mary Ruth? From the looks of it,
their
marriage wasn’t off to a great start. However, to say such a thing to Mimi would be to speculate and gossip, two things Steve would never do. “Whatever for?”

Mimi shrugged, a sad look on her face. “For starters, she has a home already. She doesn
’t have to split her time with her husband and her parents. It’s going to be very hard to not see you all week and only on the weekends.”

Ah
, he thought. Now he understood. She, too, was lamenting the months that they would live apart. “I’m sorry for that, Mimi. We’ll do what we can to rectify that situation, but it will take time.”

She nodded her head. “I know. Patience is necessary,
ja
?”

He laughed at her and pulled her into his arms, kissing the top of her head.

“And I will go home with you tomorrow,
ja
? For the weekend?”

“Ja, you will,” he replied. He was looking forward to spending the weekend with her, getting to know her better. During their courtship, they had spent small chunks of time together. Now that they were married, he could spend days with her. There was no need to hide their relationship. He also couldn
’t wait to share meals with her at his parents’ home. It would be right gut to explore their friendship as it blossomed into a real marriage.

“Will we go visiting?”

“Mayhaps not this weekend,” he replied. The tradition of newly wedded couples visiting relatives on the weekends after they were married was well and good for younger couples but Steve had a farm to run. Two farms, he corrected himself, for he helped his
daed
and Isaac with their farm, too. “Plus, we just saw everyone today. I don’t think I would have much to say that wasn’t said today.”

If she was disappointed, she didn
’t let it show.

He took a deep breath and stood up, stretching for a moment before he turned around and faced her. There was an awkward silence that he wasn
’t certain how to bridge. “
Ja vell
,” he finally said, clearing his throat. “I reckon we best be going upstairs. We’ve had a long day today and, if you are like me, you probably didn’t sleep much last night.”

“
Nee
, I did not,” she admitted, her voice soft and low. “It’s nerve wracking to get married, isn’t it?” He laughed and reached his hand out to help Mimi to her feet. Then, instead of moving, he held her hands in his as he stood before her. Behind them, the clock chimed nine times. Mimi glanced over her shoulder at it then turned back to Steve. “And we have a long day tomorrow. Clean up and put the house back in order for my parents,
ja
?”

Steve nodded his head as he stared at her, feeling his heart race. “Ja, long day tomorrow.”

“And I’m certainly exhausted,” she added, lowering her eyes as the color flooded to her cheeks.

“Exhausted,” he repeated the word. But rather than loosen his grip on her hands, he held them tighter and pulled her into his arms. “Mimi Fisher,” he murmured. “I do so like the sound of that.”

“Mmmm,” she whispered, leaning against him. “I do, too.”

“Now, Mimi Fisher,” he said, repeating her name as he lowered his mouth to whisper in her ear. “While everyone is asleep and it
’s our first night as husband and wife, I want you to tell you just one thing.”

She pulled back, just enough to lift her eyes to look at him, a glow on her face. “And what is that, Steve Fisher?”

Slowly, he leaned down and pressed his lips against hers. It was a tender kiss that was followed by him wrapping his arms around her waist, tightening his embrace. She responded by putting her hands around his neck and holding onto him. He felt his pulse quicken as he kissed her. It was only their second kiss and he tried to steady his nerves. Yet, her arms around his neck and her body pressed against his only reminded him that she was, indeed, his wife. Kissing was best saved for behind closed doors.

Reluctantly, he pulled away.

She smiled as he did, her hands dropping from his shoulders and she tilted her head, staring at him. “That is what you wanted to tell me?”

“
Nee
,” he said, laughing softly.

“Then what did you want to tell me, my husband?”

“That I love you and you have made me the happiest man on God’s beautiful earth.” And he meant it. God had smiled on Steve Fisher the day that she had decided to call him to pick up his special order at her
daed’s
store. Where would he be right now if Mimi had not taken that initiative? Would they have met if Mimi had merely put the glass with the delivery for Isaac as had originally been planned?

“That
’s two things,” she teased, staring at him.

He laughed again at her playfulness. “Yes it is,” he admitted.

“Well, those are two wonderful things to hear,” she said.

“They are wonderful things to say,” he countered. “Now, since I don
’t know where I am going in your parents’ house,” he said, lifting up the oil lantern so that they could take it with them. “Mayhaps you might lead me upstairs and to your room? I don’t want to accidentally wander into your
daed
’s bedroom!”

“I
’m thinking he wouldn’t want that either,” Mimi said teasingly, holding his hand as she walked backward toward the stairs. The flame from the lantern flickered, casting a soft glow up the staircase. “Me neither.”

As they ascended the room, the glow disappeared with them, leaving the kitchen shrouded in darkness and quiet for the night. Outside, the moon shone over the fields, a silver tint to the sky with shadows cast over the neighbor
’s fields from the large oak trees that lined the side of the Hostetler property. The neighborhood was quiet, asleep for the night until it was time for the farmers to rise and start a new day, tending to their chores. But from the Hostetler house, there was a faint glow behind a window on the second floor and two figures stood together, embraced in each other’s arms as they began their married life together.

At the Yoder farm, Mary Ruth lay in her bed, listening to Menno
’s soft breathing as he slept next to her. She laid on her side, her eyes staring out the window at the back of the room. She saw the silver light of the moon casting shadows that danced across the fields that were barren of crops. She felt much the same way: barren of emotions.

It had turned into a beautiful day for a wedding, despite having started out overcast and gray. It was as if God had pushed away the clouds, clearing the sky for the crisp, clean sunny day that had turned into a night without stars and a full, bright moon.

The ride home from the wedding had been stressful for Mary Ruth. She sat next to Menno, little Emma at her feet, while Melvin, Suzanna, and Ruth Ann huddled in the back seat of the buggy. Mary Ruth wanted to reach for Menno’s hand, wanted to let him know how she was feeling. But she feared rejection. If she had reached for his hand and he had withdrawn it, she knew she would have burst into tears. She hadn’t wanted to risk an emotional outburst in front of the
kinner
.

When they finally arrived home, Menno quietly disappeared into the barn, Melvin in tow, to tend to the evening chores. She watched them for a moment before, with a sigh, Mary Ruth took Emma
’s hand and led the girls into the house to get ready for bed. The
kinner
had school in the morning and, after having awoken extra early on that morning, they were ready for an early night.

Secretly, Mary Ruth had hoped that, once the
kinner
were in bed, she might have a moment to engage in a private discussion with Menno.

But that had not happened.

Instead, Melvin returned to the house alone. When Mary Ruth asked about his
daed
, Melvin had merely replied that he was still working in the barn. Mary Ruth had waited for almost an hour, but Menno hadn’t returned to the house. She peered outside and thought she saw him pacing in the open doorway, his silhouette moving back and forth, illuminated by the glow from the propane lantern hanging in the barn. Despondent, she finally retired to the bedroom, fighting the urge to cry as she changed into her nightgown and brushed her hair.

When he finally came into the room, he barely glanced at her, moving to his side of the bed to change. Without a word, he crawled into bed, the mattress sinking under his weight. She could hear his breath slowing down as he sank into a deep sleep without so much as saying a simple
good night
.

Now, as she lay next to him, her eyes watching the moon outside the window, she said a silent prayer to God to help guide her through this situation. She needed His hand to show her what to do, how to break through to Menno who seemed to have regressed to his harsh ways that had been far too familiar after his first wife
’s death. And as she prayed, a Bible verse came to mind:

But I would have you without carefulness. He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord:

But he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife.

There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit:

But she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband.
[2]

Yes
, Mary Ruth thought. That is exactly what she would do. She would focus on pleasing Menno as God commanded. Perhaps then, Menno would want to please her. In fact, she realized that she needed to re-court her husband, to make him see how much she wanted to love him and, hopefully, in the process, discover that he, too, loved her.

“Thank you, God,” she whispered into the night. With a new sense of purpose, Mary Ruth shut her eyes, wiggling ever so slightly so that her back was pressed against Menno
’s arm. She could feel the pressure of his body against hers and she took pleasure in knowing that God had guided her, had shown her what to do, in order to turn around the disastrous beginning to her marriage.

As she started to drift to sleep, Menno
’s eyes opened. He sighed, her words echoing in his mind:
Thank you God.
He shook his head knowing in his heart that she had thanked God for helping her survive one more day. Hadn’t he heard her earlier that morning, consoling Emma, telling his youngest daughter that she was there for them? The
kinner
? No mention of Menno. No mention of being a wife. Only a mother.

He had known that she didn
’t love him, despite her telling him as much on their wedding night. He had high hopes of a strong love between them. Yet, their wedding night had been a disaster. He had retired to their room, hoping to spend some time alone with Mary Ruth, talking and holding each other. But she had never come to the room. Almost an hour had passed and he had finally fallen asleep for it had been a long day for him, too. The morning following their wedding night, she didn’t speak with him and constantly averted her eyes. She fawned over the
kinner
but said nary a word to him, nothing of any substance beyond chores or meals. In turn, he remained silent, not wanting to crowd her during this difficult time of adjustment. Yet, the more distance he gave to her, the more distant she became.