An image of a white wolf came up on Charlie,
making him wake up and jolt upright from his relaxed position on
the seat.
Butch had pulled up to a gas pump and shut
off the truck.
Charlie rubbed his face and put his hat back
on his head as Roman opened the back door for him. "Come on,
Charlie. Let's take a piss."
Charlie scooted out of the truck and stood
unsteadily in his boots as Roman walked to the men's restroom with
him while Butch pumped gas.
"It was a crazy time, back then, Roman."
Charlie held the men's room door open as Roman entered first,
standing at a urinal.
"Tell me about it. The closer we get to the
ranch, the more the waves of the whole incident are washing over
me."
Charlie stood at the urinal beside him and
relieved himself. "Yeah. Me too. I don't know if I can handle much
more of the 'fun'."
"You have to, Charlie." Roman glanced at him
over the divider. "If you don't help me stay strong, I'm lost."
Charlie nodded, but didn't want to tell
Roman…as the miles grew shorter to the spot where this spell was
cast, he became weaker. A sense of helplessness began to invade
him. "I'm here." Charlie finished up and flushed the urinal,
walking to the sink with Roman. "I'll do the best I can. Ya know
that."
"I know." Roman met his eyes in the
mirror.
Butch entered the men's room and stood at a
urinal. As he released his stream he said, "Damn. Been holding that
coffee too long."
Charlie smiled at Roman and he smiled
back.
The drive up to the ranch house felt like
coming home to Butch. The other two men were quiet, deep in their
thoughts, or maybe dozing. Butch had his country music to keep him
company. It was nearly three o'clock and the winter light had
already faded to dusk.
Turning off the roadway into Vernon and
Connie Norman's ranch, Butch slowed down on the snowy gravel lane,
seeing Christmas lights shimmering on every tree. Strings of white
lights adorned the small evergreens on the left side of the
property. As he drove closer, between the enormous barn and the
large ranch house, the home looked inviting with its porch wrapping
around the entire front. Butch could see the house was a rainbow of
lights on the eaves and icicle lighting hung from the gutters.
Tears came to his eyes he missed the place so much.
At the sound of their truck coming up the ice
crusted gravel, JP Martin and Hal 'Goat' Groates hurried from their
cabin to meet them, big smiles on their faces.
As he shut off the engine, Butch glanced at
Roman and Charlie who were getting out of the truck to greet the
men.
"Well! Look what the cat dragged in!" JP, the
oldest of the ranch hands at forty, reached out for a warm hug from
Butch.
Butch held him and patted his back.
"Son-of-a-bitch, JP, ya got so dang gray!"
JP pushed Butch playfully. "From worryin'
about you three nuts."
Butch waited for Charlie to hug Goat and then
smiled at him. "Damn. You losin' weight?"
"I don't know how I can with Connie's home
cookin'." Goat gave Butch a hug. "An' you look old as me!"
"Shut up! I ain't in my thirties, ya dumb
schmuck." Butch laughed and tugged the brim of Goat's cowboy hat
down his forehead.
"Butch! Charlie!" were yelled from the main
house.
Butch spun around and spotted Suzie and
Sherlane standing at the door of the ranch home.
JP said, "I'll get your luggage, boys." He
walked to the back of the truck. "Jus' tell me which one's Butch's
so I can take it back to Goat's and my cabin."
Butch caught Roman's eye quickly but before
something could be said about sleeping arrangements, the girls were
racing towards them for an embrace.
Sherlane landed on Butch, hugging him and
kissing his cheek. "Handsome as ever!" She leaned back and her
bright brown eyes shined in the sunlight. "You're twenty-one
now…and you can drink with me at the tavern legally. Finally!"
Butch blushed and lowered his lashes. "Yeah.
Finally."
"Not like it stopped you two years ago."
Sherlane held his waist and smiled adoringly at him. "I sure missed
you."
"Don't hog him all to yourself!" Suzie nudged
her sister out of her way and embraced Butch. "Mmm, you feel so
nice."
"Damn!" Butch backed up, laughing. "I heard
you had a boyfriend."
"Not really. We see other people. There isn't
a ring on my finger yet." She held up her left hand and
laughed.
Butch saw JP carrying his bag to the larger
of the two cabins, while Goat took Charlie and Roman's bags to the
one bedroom cabin, the one Charlie used to stay in by himself. It
occurred to Butch the girls assumed he was straight, and he was the
only young man who was attractive enough to date one of them. They
knew Roman and Charlie were a couple.
Butch adjusted his hat as Suzie said hello to
Roman.
"You never change, Agt. Burk. Handsome as
ever." She touched his jaw. "Miss the designer stubble."
"Just shaved it this morning." Roman gave her
a warm hug and released her quickly.
Sherlane hooked Butch's elbow. "Come on in.
Mom and Dad are thrilled you came early."
Butch took off his coat as he entered the
house. An enormous Christmas tree, loaded with lights and
ornaments, stood in the living room, its top -an angel- towering
towards the high ceiling. The hearth was exposed stone, roaring
with a fire, and heating the room. The interior was as familiar to
Butch as his own room back home in Nevada; the large overstuffed
printed sofa and loveseat, the country-feel of the oak tables and
paintings of barns and horses on the walls. The fireplace mantel
was not only decorated with strings of holly leaves, it was loaded
with greeting cards and stockings hanging.
Butch was about to bring in the gifts from
the truck but he noticed Charlie had carried them in, setting them
aside as he took off his coat and cowboy hat.
Connie emerged from the kitchen, wiping her
hands on a towel. Butch hurried to greet her. He picked her up and
spun her around, making smooching noises of kisses on her neck.
She took off Butch's hat and began hitting
him with it. "Put me down, ya rascal!"
Butch did and took his hat back. "I missed
yer cookin' so much, I am so glad ta be back!"
"All you boys think with yer stomachs. Y'all
need wives." She reached out for Charlie and he held her close and
swung her around.
Butch dabbed at his eyes from emotion.
Connie, her gruff but loving demeanor, her matronly form, was more
of a mother to him than his own.
Last but not least, the head of the
household, Vernon Norman, a man in his early sixties, strong,
always holding onto his beliefs and values, met them from the hall
that led to his office and bedroom. In the two years since Butch
had seen Vernon, he thought he had aged as well. Butch reached out
his hand for a shake.
"Come 'ere, son." Vernon hauled Butch into an
embrace and hugged him. "I missed you."
Butch's eyes nearly overflowed. "Me too,
Vernon. More than ya know." Butch backed up and let Vernon greet
the other two men while he wiped his eyes on his sleeve discreetly
and hung his hat on a rack by the door.
The room was filled with noise of chatting as
the group tried to catch up. Connie brought out a pitcher of
lemonade and homemade cookies to snack on until her dinner was
ready. The scent of roasting meat was competing with the burnt wood
in the hearth.
Butch heard barking outside the door. He
shook his head, smiling and walked towards it. When he opened it,
the rambunctious Jack Russell, Harley, began barking at everyone,
zipping through their legs like a hyperactive snake.
"Wondered where you were," Butch said,
crouching down to the crazy dog as it seemed to sniff everyone at
once.
It growled at Roman and backed up.
Vernon noticed and asked, "He smell
wolf?"
Butch spotted Charlie and Roman exchange
glances.
Charlie said, "I don't know. Maybe."
"Wolf?" Suzie asked, sitting down on the
couch and pouring glasses of the lemonade to hand out. "I thought
all that was in the past."
Butch watched Vernon's reaction, wondering
how much Roman and Charlie would reveal. He certainly wasn't going
to be responsible for telling them it was back.
Harley finally found his way towards him.
Butch picked the small dog up in his arms and held onto him in the
chaos. JP and Goat entered the house, taking off their hats and
coats.
"Got your stuff in your old cabin, Butch," JP
said, "You're stuck sharing with me though. We turned one of the
bedrooms into a computer-game room. Sorry."
The dog began squirming in Butch's arms to
get down. He crouched to the floor and it scrambled out of his
hold, nipping at Charlie and Roman and then standing by the door
near JP and Goat.
"What's got Harley crazy?" JP asked, tucking
in his red flannel shirt into his baggy jeans.
"Let him out. He'll eat the cookies,"
Sherlane said.
JP opened the door and nudged the excited dog
out with his boot.
Sherlane patted the spot on the sofa beside
her. "Come here, Butch. Catch me up on what you three have been up
to."
Butch cleared his throat and met Roman's gaze
quickly as he sat down beside her. She handed Butch a glass of
lemonade.
"Thank you."
"I know you'd rather have a beer." She
smiled, looking pretty in her V-neck sweater, her brown hair swept
up in a ponytail.
Suzie sat on the opposite side of him,
holding out the plate of cookies. "Your favorite. Peanut butter and
chocolate chips."
"Mm." He took one and bit it, nodding.
"Good."
"You look so handsome." Sherlane gave him a
dreamy smile.
"Is it lonely sharing a house with Roman and
Charlie?" Suzie asked, "You know, since they're a couple?"
"Um." Butch stuffed the rest of the cookie in
his mouth and sipped the sugary lemonade. He heard Charlie talking
to Vernon about the recent sacrificial killings at the
reservoir.
"Are you dating at all, Butch?" Sherlane
touched his knee.
"No. Uh. I've got too much work to do." Butch
wanted to scoot back but Suzie was right beside him. He set the
glass down and brushed the crumbs off his lap.
Goat said, "Been here all of five minutes and
the women can't keep their hands off ya." He laughed and JP smiled
at Butch.
Butch felt his cheek heat up in
embarrassment.
"Well?" Sherlane put her arm around Butch
affectionately. "He's the only handsome young available man
here!"
"I'm not married." Goat pressed his hand to
his chest.
"You're old!" JP slapped his shoulder
playfully.
"I ain't that old."
"Ya ain't twenty-one!"
Butch ran his hand over his hair nervously.
"I should wash up a bit. We've been on the road all day."
"Okay," Suzie said, "Mom's planning on dinner
at five."
"Okay. Good." Butch tried to stand and
maneuver around the girls' legs to get to the front door.
"Where' you goin'?" Vernon asked, a glass of
lemonade in his hand.
"Just gonna wash up a bit. I'll be back."
Butch glanced at Roman and Charlie, put his coat and hat on, and
left the ranch house. He could hear Harley barking at something,
way off in the distance, but ignored it. That dog barked at
everything.
He stood on the spot-lit porch, looking out
over the expanse of land, the large barn, capable of holding sixty
horses, and the shadowy snowy mountains, purple in the setting sun.
Inhaling the cold evening air, which was mixed with wood burning
from the fireplace, he headed down the path to the cabins. Passing
the one Charlie and Roman would share, Butch yearned to move his
bag into theirs, knowing the judgment may not be harsh, but the
surprise would sting, not to mention the teasing he'd get from Goat
and JP.
No one knew. No one but the two men.
He opened the door to the log cabin JP and
Goat shared, turned on the overhead light, and noticed they had it
nice and tidy for him. It was small but had its own kitchen and a
bathroom with a tub and separate shower. There were two bedrooms
now, one with two queen beds, one with a twin. He took a look into
the third bedroom, the one that had been his, and spotted the large
screen television and computer in it. He felt disappointed but what
was he supposed to do?
He entered the room he was going to share
with JP. On the dresser were recent photos of JP's children, since
he had been divorced but had kids with his ex.
After tossing his coat down, Butch noticed
his bag was near the second queen bed, where he figured it would
be. He opened it, taking out his shaving kit for his soap and
toothbrush.
Entering the small bathroom, turning on the
light, he placed his things on the shelf over the sink and looked
in the mirror. He took off his hat and placed it on the closed
toilet seat, then washed his face and hands, scrubbing up with the
pine scented soap.
He dried his face and met his brown eyes in
the mirror.
A week sleeping here? Or? Telling them I'm gay and
staying with my boys?
Butch didn't like the decision, either way.
He grabbed his hat, shut off the bathroom light and returned to the
bedroom. Falling back on the bed, he stared at the vaulted ceiling
and exposed logs and sighed.
~
Roman was antsy.
Though the reception was warm, he could feel
something strong present around the ranch and also sense Vernon's
apprehension. He and Charlie were not honest with the man. He had
asked if they were done with the wolf business and they did not
answer his question.
Roman checked his phone, looking for
something from Phil. He needed hard copies of the reports. He
assumed Phil would stop by the ranch, not mail them. And if Roman
knew Nick? He would tell Phil to set up camp on the cabin's couch.
He wouldn't let Roman out of his sight.