Authors: Jack Wallen
This next room deserves a limerick. There once was a maid named Haight, who’s skin, you see, was rather white. Gaultier would cry “Here’s acid in yer eye!” The poor dear never put up a fight.
Haight was an elder woman who was one of the best seamstresses in the land. She was brought on to create a Christening dress for Gaultier’s daughter. Being an albino Haight was rather sensitive to the sun. Even so Gaultier insisted she hang their clothes to dry outside in the blistering daylight. Each day she would return from her chores as blood red as a turnip and would sooth her burning skin with a special ointment she purchased from town. One day, however, the daughter became mad with rage at a crooked seam in her dress and switched her ointment with acid.
THE SPOOK PLAYING HAIGHT ENTERS, HER SKIN BURNED AND BLOODY, STUMBLING TOO AND FRO. SHE ATTEMPTS TO LATCH ONTO THE MOM AT FIRST. MOM HOWEVER DUCKS OUT OF THE WAY AND RUNS BEHIND DAD SO HAIGHT TURNS HER ATTENTION TO SCOTT WHO IS STANDING, WIDE-EYED, IN A CORNER.
HAIGHT
My skin. It burns. Please won’t you fetch my ointment young man. Please. It burns! It burns!!!!
HER VOICE GETS LOUDER AS SHE APPROACHES SCOTT. JUST AS SHE REACHES HIM THE LIGHTS FLASH AND GO BLACK. WHEN THEY COME BACK ON SHE IS GONE.
SERVANT
Poor dear Haight. Won’t you follow me please.
SCOTT IS STANDING STILL IN THE CORNER, HIS EYES STILL WIDE WITH FEAR.
MOM
Scott, are you okay?
SCOTT NODS HIS HEAD AND STARTS SMILING
SCOTT
That was soooo cool!
THEY ALL LEVE THE ROOM. GINGER APPEARS AGAIN. THIS TIME SHE LOOKS ON AT SCOTT AND SMILES.
THE GROUP COMES TO THE FINAL ROOM. IT IS RATHER DIMLY LIT SO THAT ONLY THE GROUP CAN BE SEEN. SUDDENLY THERE IS A LOUD THUMPING SOUND.
SERVANT
Oh my. It seems we have found our way into the kitchen where the most ghastly of all deaths took place.
THE LIGHTS BLAST ON TO REVEAL A YOUNG GIRL CHOPPING AWAY AT A TABLE WITH A CLEAVER. IT LOOKS AS THOUGH SHE IS CHOPPING AWAY AT AN ARM.
The death of none other than Sir Gaultier at the hands of Priscilla McDervot.
PRISCILLA
One, two Prissy’s gonna chop you. Three four your fingers fall to the floor. Five six…
PRISSY SEES SCOTT AND STARTS SLOWLY WALKING TOWARD HIM.
Seven, eight it’s far too late. Nine, ten gonna chop again!
PRISSY LIFTS UP THE CLEAVER AND THE LIGHTS GO BLACK. WHEN THE LIGHTS COME BACK UP PRISSY IS GONE AND SCOTT IS CURLED UP ON THE FLOOR. AFTER A MOMENT OF SILENCE HE JUMPS UP SMILING AND LAUGHING.
SCOTT
That was the best. Oh man I can’t believe how real that seemed. I thought I could even smell blood on her fake knife. Wow.
SERVANT
This concludes your tour of the Gaultier House. I am thankful you have all made it through…intact. Please feel free to visit us again soon.
THE SERVANT OPENS UP A DOOR WHICH LEADS TO THE EXIT. THEY ALL LEAVE BUT SCOTT HANGS BACK FOR A MOMENT. HE SPIES SOMETHING INTERESTING. IT IS A BOOK HIDDEN SOMEWHERE ON A SHELF. THE BOOK IS SMALL ENOUGH TO FIT IN HIS POCKET. SCOTT QUICKLY HIDES THE BOOK IN HIS JEANS AND WALKS OUT NERVOUSLY.
DAD
So Scotty, what did you think?
SCOTT
That was the most awesome haunted house ever. Can we come back? Please?
MOM
From the looks of it this place comes back every year. So next Halloween you can bet we’ll bring you back.
DAD
It’ll be our Halloween tradition.
SCOTT
But I want to come back tomorrow. And the next day. And the next.
MOM
I’m afraid the house is only open until Halloween. What good is a haunted house after Halloween?
DAD
It’s like snow after Christmas.
MOM
Or turkey after Thanksgiving.
DAD
Mmmm thanksgiving leftovers. Turkey sandwiches. Turkey pizza. Turkey salad. Turkey loaf. Turkey and peanut butter…
MOM AND SCOTT
Gross.
MOM
Okay, maybe turkey after Thanksgiving wasn’t the best example.
THE FAMILY LEAVES TALKING ABOUT TURKEY. THE LIGHTS BRIEFLY REMAIN ON THE GAULTIER HOUSE WHERE GINGER IS SEEN LOOKING THROUGH A WINDOW AFTER SCOTT.
SCENE SIX: THE BOOK AND THE BULLIES
SCOTT IS SITTING AT THE BREAKFAST TABLE EATING CEREAL AND READING THE BOOK HE “FOUND”. HE IS COMPLETELY IMMERSED IN THE BOOK AND DOES NOT HEAR SALLY ENTER THE ROOM.
SALLY
Morning sunshine.
THIS SCARES SCOTT INTO NEARLY KNOCKING OVER HIS BOWL. SALLY LAUGHS.
I scared you? Wow, that’s a first. I never thought I’d see the day.
SCOTT
Har har…very funny.
SALLY
What are you reading?
SCOTT
It’s a book about the Gaultier House.
SALLY
The what house?
SCOTT
The haunted house I went to last night doofus.
SALLY
Oh yeah. Dorkus. How was it?
SCOTT
Oh man it was awesome! You wouldn’t have believed the scares they put on. It was the best haunted house ever. Even the guy that lead us through was creepy.
SALLY
We better get going. You can tell me about it on the way to school.
SCOTT GATHERS HIS BACKPACK, GRABS HIS BOOK, AND THE TWO LEAVE THE HOUSE.
SCOTT
There was one moment when I was sure this woman was gonna chop me up into bits.
SALLY
I bet you nearly peed your pants.
SCOTT
How’d you know?
SALLY
I know my Scottie.
THE SCHOOL BULLIES COME ON STAGE AND SEE SCOTT AND SALLY. THE HEAD BULLY CROSSES DIRECTLY TO SCOTT.
BULLY 1
Whatcha readin’ Spooky?
THE BULLY GRABS THE BOOK. SCOTT INSTANTLY STARTS GRABBING FOR IT.
Not so fast there Spooky.
SCOTT
My name’s not Spooky!
BULLY 1
Your name is whatever I decide to call you. And I choose Spooky. So your name is Spooky from now on. Got that Spooky?
BULLY 2
Yeah, got that Spooky?
BULLY 1
The Gaultier Diaries. Ooooh sounds lame. Hey boys, what do you make of this book?
BULLY 1 TOSSES THE BOOK TO BULLY 2 WHO TOSSES THE BOOK TO BULLY 3
BULLY 2
Not a big fan of books.
BULLY 3
Unless they’re picture books right?
BULLY 2
Shut up. I can read.
THE BULLIES CONTINUE PASSING THE BOOK AROUND EACH STOPPING TO READ A PASSAGE.
BULLY 1
“The house still has that old familiarity to it. As I enter unto it’s halls I find myself comforted by its embrace. When I leave it’s hallowed walls I feel a longing need to return.” Ah poetry.
BULLY 2
“Another century has passed and still we hide the truth. I fear our secret will eventually follow us all to the grave.”
BULLY 3
“I grow weary of hiding. I would like nothing more than to step out into the mid-day sun without wearing the mask I have so come to hate.”
SCOTT
SCOTT IS DESPERATELY TRYING TO GET HIS BOOK FROM THEM. HE CHASES IT AS THEY THROW IT. SALLY HAS DISAPPEARED TO RETRIEVE A TEACHER.
Give me my book.
BULLY 1
Who said this was your book? I think I have it now. Finder keepers, creeper. Now why don’t you and your girlfriend take a hike Spooky.