Chapter Thirty-Six
Priscilla looked up in surprise when Edward handed her a letter.
“What’s this?” she asked as she laid aside some mending she was doing on Joseph’s socks.
“Mr. Ellis had it . . . he gets the mail for us. I picked it up when I took Mary to get her vehicle.” He sat down across from her, pulling the coffeepot nearer him; then he looked at her. “Do you want me to leave while you open it?”
“Oh, no—I don’t even know who it’s from—there’s no return address.” Priscilla slipped her finger into the back of the envelope and pulled out the letter. She started to read aloud in an automatic voice.
Dear Daughter,
I want you to know that I know I have wronged you. I didn’t understand the full extent of Heath’s abuse until the details of his death came to me. He hurt you and I hurt you. I am now searching for what is next in my life.
Your father,
Marcus Allen
Priscilla stared at the page she held with shaking hands. Edward reached out to touch her arm.
“Are you all right, Priscilla? Do you want me to get Joseph?”
“I’m right here.” Joseph walked into the kitchen. “What’s wrong?”
“It’s from my—father,” Priscilla said hoarsely, handing him the letter.
He read briefly, then looked at her. “
Ach
, Priscilla—what do you need?”
She shook her head. “I don’t know. How dare he write to me! He’s despicable, and now I’m supposed to forgive him? Even though he doesn’t say it, that’s what he’s looking for . . .” She half sobbed.
“And that’s what you should give him,” Edward said clearly.
“Edward.” Joseph’s tone was warning.
“What? She’s not supposed to be
Amisch
about this? You forgive the sin; you hate the sin, but you love the sinner. Isn’t that how it goes? Seriously?”
Priscilla stared at him, thinking hard.
“I think you should leave,” Joseph said to his brother.
“No,” Priscilla protested. “Let him stay. Let him say it—if it’s true. Is it true, Joseph?”
She watched her husband swallow hard; his lashes swept downward then up as he nodded with visible reluctance.
“Jah,”
he whispered.
Fresh tears filled Priscilla’s eyes. “Oh . . .”
Then Edward leaned closer to her. “You can forgive him, Priscilla, but you don’t have to respond to that letter or have any kind of a relationship with him . . . especially if he’s poison to you.”
“Is that true?” she asked.
Both brothers answered in unison.
“Jah.”
She nodded. “Then I’ll have to work on the forgiveness part—thank you, Edward. Thank you, my sweet Joseph.” She hurried from the room, leaving behind a heavy silence.
Joseph sat down at the table with the letter and ran a gentle finger over the tip of the needle Priscilla had abandoned.
“You’re a pain in the neck, do you know that?” he asked Edward in a matter-of-fact tone.
“Yeah, I know.”
“Why did you talk like that to her?”
Edward shrugged and swiped a hand across his eyes. “I don’t know. Maybe because I’m drunk.”
“What?” Joseph asked, appalled. “Where did you find alcohol here?”
“I didn’t, actually. I took a shortcut through the woods on the way back . . . ran into an
Englisch
still. Nobody was around, so I helped myself. Smooth, Joseph. So smooth for white lightning.”
Joseph had to restrain himself from grabbing his
bruder
by the nape of the neck. “Edward, I know you’re going through a tough time—”
“A helluva time, Joe . . . let’s get it straight . . .”
“
Nee
, you’re nowhere near hell. You’re confused, hurting, I know . . . but drinking isn’t going to fix that. Promise me you won’t touch that stuff again.”
Edward stroked the coffeepot with an idle finger. “I can’t make that promise, Joe, because it feels so good and right when I drink—I think I can think more clearly. Look how I helped Priscilla just now. Don’t worry about it, all right? I’m not going to make a fool of myself... I only want a nip now and then.”
Joseph let out a long breath and ran his hands over his eyes in despair. “Edward, please . . .”
His
bruder
got to his feet, knocking over the wooden kitchen chair in the process. “I said forget it, Joe, and I mean it.” He walked to the front door and left with a slam.
Joseph got up and lifted the chair from the floor, feeling as if he was moving in a fog.
Priscilla came back out and joined him. “What happened?”
“
Ach
, Priscilla . . . it’s Edward.”
“And?” She moved to slip into his arms, and he loved the feel of her against the length of him. “No secrets, remember?” she chided gently.
“Nee.”
He bent and kissed her. “Edward is drinking,” he said softly.
“Drinking? He drinks?” Clearly, his wife was surprised.
Joseph nodded. “And he’s as stubborn as a ram about it too. I can’t seem to reach him. I’m not sure if anyone can, really. He’s got to
kumme
to himself and to Gott and no one can force that
kumming
.”
“No,” Priscilla agreed against his chest. “That’s true. I know it personally.”
Joseph smiled down at her, unable to remain joyless with her so near. “
Ach
, but you, my love, are made of stronger stuff, I think . . . I know.” He kissed her nose. “And sweeter stuff.” He kissed her eyes. “And wiser stuff.” He kissed her mouth hard. “And softer stuff.” He reached his hand up her small frame to gently stroke her breast and she sighed aloud.
“Joseph, we’re in the kitchen.”
“
Jah
, and it’s getting hot . . .”
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Priscilla awoke the next morning with the feeling that she was being watched intently. Her eyelids fluttered and she thought for a moment that it might be Joseph, but then she blinked and realized with a start that it was Bear’s one baleful eye staring her in the face.
“Bear? What are you doing, boy?” She reached sleepily to scratch behind his ear and Hollie soon appeared over his broad back.
“Mommy?”
“Mmm-hmm?”
“I want to go back to the ice mine today.”
“Mmm . . . not today, sweetheart. Joseph—Daddy’s busy with work I think.”
“Then you and me can go.”
Priscilla came fully awake, hearing the urgency in her daughter’s voice.
“Why do you want to go, Hollie?”
“I want to pick some flowers and I made a note for the angel. I wrote it in the night and wrapped it in tinfoil so it won’t get wet.”
Priscilla sat up in bed as Joseph came whistling into the room. “Now, there’s my two girls,” he said with an indulgent smile.
“And Bear, Daddy.” Hollie pointed to the lumbering dog.
“And Bear, of course.”
Priscilla felt his eyes upon her. “You shouldn’t have let me sleep,” she said.
He sat down on the edge of the bed and took her hand while Hollie jumped on his back and Bear snuggled closer.
“Whoa!” he yelled, dipping forward so that Hollie tilted and screamed with laughter. Priscilla had to smile. She felt surrounded by love and it was still too unfamiliar a feeling to take for granted.
“Hollie wants to go to the ice mine today,” she said above the din.
“Does she, now? And . . . are we going?” Joseph asked, still tilting back and forth.
“Don’t you have to work?”
“
Jah
, but it can wait.”
Priscilla shook her head faintly with a laugh.
He’ll spoil Hollie and me and everyone else who shows up for the party.
It was a delicious thought . . .
“All right, then I need to get dressed for the hike. Hollie, you’ll have to wear shoes.”
This brought a sudden halt to the horsing around as Hollie groaned. “Aww, Mom!”
“Listen to your
mamm
,
kind. Kumme
, I’ll help you find your shoes.” He winked at Priscilla, then scooped Hollie up off the bed, leaving the room with Bear in close attendance.
Priscilla sat for a moment in the sudden silence. She found herself thanking God for Joseph and Hollie, and then her thoughts drifted wide to include all of those on Ice Mountain who had so influenced and changed her life for the better.
Joseph plopped Hollie down on her bed and started to hunt for her shoes. He poked around the corners of the freshly painted room and then looked at Hollie, who gave a deceptively innocent shrug. He smiled and went to sit next to her on the bed.
“You know where the shoes are, right?”
“Maybe.” She lifted her pert little nose in the air and he had to suppress a laugh.
“Well,” he said honestly, “one thing I do notice is your distinct lack of toys,
kind
.”
“What does that mean?”
“You don’t have many things to play with,” he clarified.
“I’ve got Bear.”
“I know, but let me see . . . You find your shoes while I go look for something up in the rafters.” He got up and patted her head, then left the room.
“What are you crawlin’ up there for?” Abner demanded as Joseph stood on a kitchen chair and poked around in the opening of the cabin’s ceiling.
“Where’s that farm
haus
you made us when we were little? Seems like I can picture Mary playing with it at one time.” He shifted his weight and the chair creaked alarmingly.
Abner snorted
.
“
Jah
, about fifteen years ago, and you’re going to fall and break yer neck.”
But Joseph kept reaching and finally let out a whoop of triumph. “Here we go.” He jumped off the chair, holding a tall barn that folded in on itself. The paint was a bit faded but he still felt he’d found one of the best toys a
kind
could have.
“
Danki
, Daed.” He held the barn close to his chest while his
fater
brushed his words away but still couldn’t suppress a smile.
Joseph went whistling back to the bedroom.
Priscilla was fitting on Hollie’s shoes when Joseph came in carrying the large red barn.
“What’s that?” Hollie and Priscilla asked in unison.
He sat down easily on the floor and put the barn beside him, turning it to face the bed.
“My favorite toy when I was little.” He lifted the latch on the barn and slowly spread open the two bottom doors. A sprawl of wooden figures tumbled out onto the floor and Priscilla thrilled to hear Joseph’s rich laughter.
“Oooh boy!” Hollie cried in excitement, scrambling off the bed. “Come down and look, Mommy.”
Priscilla joined them with a smile of gaiety. There was a vibrant energy about Joseph as he lovingly picked up a pink pig cleverly shaped out of wood.
“It’s Pete,” Joseph exclaimed with all the enjoyment of a young boy, and Priscilla gazed at him lovingly.
“Hello, Pete!” Hollie waved. “Daddy, who else is there?”
“Well, if you open the top of the barn . . .” He slid the loft’s doors wide and a variety of hens and a black rooster burst forth. “We’ve got the Griddles.” His long fingers lined up the hens. “Let’s see. Wanda, Nellie, Martha, Esther, and Tabitha. Aaaand, Gray the rooster.”
“Why Griddles?” Priscilla asked with interest.
Joseph shrugged and looked sheepish. “I used to like fried chicken—hot off the griddle.”
She laughed and picked up a brown cow. “And who’s this?”
“Cocoa . . . and my favorite sheep dog, Colt.”
There were many more animals in addition to the farmer and his family, and Priscilla lost track of time as they laid out the carved toys and fences and set up an imaginary farm with Hollie’s enthusiastic help. Abner even came to the door and stood and watched with a faint smile while he stroked his beard.
Then Hollie sighed and gently put down a gray barn cat that was made to perch on the fence. “Oh, Daddy, you have a
wunderbar
toy.”
Priscilla saw Joseph’s surprised look.
“But it’s yours,
kind
. I want you to have it.”
Hollie clasped the buxom farmer’s wife tight in one hand, then threw her arms around Joseph. “Oh, Daddy, thank you, thank you so much.”
He laughed and Priscilla saw him close his eyes, delighting in the hug of their daughter.
“What does your note to the angel say, Hollie?” Joseph asked in a soft voice that echoed against the crystalline stillness of the summer ice.
“Oh, it’s for him, Daddy. He’ll read it when he needs to . . .”
Joseph watched his daughter carefully lay a bouquet of fresh flowers and the tinfoiled note on the ground where she’d been huddled during the time with Heath. He grappled with the images of the fight himself and could only wonder how it must have been for Priscilla and Hollie.
“It is like a fairy palace here,” Priscilla said finally, breaking the silence.
Joseph looked at her. “Really?”
“Yes. The first time I came here, I was scared and couldn’t appreciate it. The second time was not good, of course, but now there’s a calm, beautiful stillness in this place that seems to wrap around me.”
“Like a hug, Mommy?” Hollie asked, wrapping her arms around her mother’s hips.
“Yes, exactly like that . . .” Joseph watched her hug Hollie and felt a warmth in his heart that rivaled a furnace in winter
. I am so blessed . . . What I thought was going to be a lonely and lost life has been redeemed.
Danki,
Gott.
“C’mere, Daddy,” Hollie invited, holding out one small arm, and Joseph complied readily, gathering his girls close to his heart.