An Honest Love (20 page)

“I can’t be pregnant, Elisabeth. I just can’t be.”

Elisabeth gripped the reins of Deborah’s horse with one hand and reached out for her friend’s hand. “Maybe you’re not.”

“But I checked the date on my calendar this morning. I’ve never been late.”

“Are you sure you haven’t made a mistake?” She tried to wrap her head around what Deborah was saying. Her friend was pregnant and unmarried. She had never personally known anyone who had gotten pregnant outside of wedlock.

Her stomach rolled. How could Deborah have done this? How could she have given herself to anyone but her husband?

Taking a deep breath, she forced herself to stay calm. Deborah was already a wreck; she didn’t need to make her friend feel worse.

“What am I going to do?”

Elisabeth squeezed Deborah’s hand, then let it go. “First thing is to find out for sure. Have you taken a pregnancy test?”

“
Nee
.”

“Then we need to get one.” She had gone to the pharmacy with Moriah when her sister had been pregnant with Ester, so she knew exactly where to find them.

Twenty minutes later, they pulled into the pharmacy parking lot. The snow plows had cleared the lot, heaping high piles of dirty snow on the perimeter. Elisabeth steered the horse to the hitching post, then started to climb out of the buggy.

“I don’t know about this, Elisabeth. ” Deborah sniffed, wiping her nose on a damp handkerchief.

“About what?”

“What if someone from church sees me? You know how people talk.”

You should have thought of that before
. “I’ll
geh
in there with you.”

“Then they might think you’re pregnant too.”

“I don’t care what they think, Deborah. Right now I’m worried about you.”

Deborah looked at her, tears dangling on her lashes. “You’re such a
gut
friend, Elisabeth. I was awful to you the night of that party. I’m sorry.”

“It’s all right. Let’s get this over with.”

They got out of the buggy and Elisabeth tied the horse to the hitching post. They hurried inside and went straight to the aisle where the pregnancy tests were.

“Which one should I get?” Deborah scanned the shelves.

“This one,” Elisabeth said, grabbing the one she remembered Moriah using. She thrust it at Deborah. “Now, let’s go check out.”

On the way to the check-out counter, Elisabeth grabbed a couple of candy bars.

“What are those for?” Deborah asked.

“You can’t just buy a pregnancy test by itself.”

“Oh.” Deborah took the candy bars and put them on the counter along with the test. The cashier came over and checked them out.

“You want these in the bag?” The cashier drawled, holding up the candy.

Deborah’s head bobbed up and down.

After the cashier put the merchandise in the bag, Deborah took it and immediately walked to the front door. Elisabeth started to follow.

“You want your receipt?” the cashier asked, holding a piece of paper.

Elisabeth snatched the receipt out of her hand and went back to the buggy. She climbed in beside her friend and shoved the receipt into her bag before starting out for Deborah’s house.

Half an hour later, Elisabeth paced the length of Deborah’s bedroom. Her friend was in the downstairs bathroom, taking the test.
Please Lord, let it be negative
.

She turned at the sound of Deborah entering the room, her face ashen. Elisabeth’s stomach lurched. She knew without asking what the result was.

Instead of panicking as she had before, Deborah sat down on the bed, a faraway look on her face. “What am I going to do?”

“You have to tell the father.”

Deborah looked up at Elisabeth. “I can’t tell Chase about the
boppli
.”

Elisabeth’s eyes widened. “Chase?”

“
Ya
. Chase is the father.”

“Stephen, help me load these up in the buggy,” Lukas said, pointing to three small child-sized hickory chairs and a box of other wooden toys lying next to it. “I told Anna I’d have these at the store for her today.”

Stephen slapped his palms together to get rid of the sawdust that had accumulated on them, then grabbed two of the chairs without saying anything. The whir of a hydraulic wood saw followed them out the door as they headed for Lukas’ buggy. His horse stretched back his ears as the men approached. When they finished loading up, Lukas said, “You want to come out to the store with me?”

“
Nee
. I’ve got plenty of stuff here to do.”

Lukas pushed his hat back on his head. “Not so much that you can’t take a little time off to come with me. I know Anna would like to see you.”

“Maybe another time.”

“All right.” Lukas looked at him. At sixteen, Stephen was three years younger than Lukas, but had already passed him in height. He wouldn’t be surprised if he grew right past Tobias, who was five feet ten inches tall. Lukas was two inches shorter.

Stephen gave him a nod, then turned around and went back inside.

Lukas shoved his hat lower on his head and climbed into the buggy. The January air was crisp, but the sun shone at full strength.

A short time later, Lukas pulled into the parking lot of Esh’s Amish Goods. He tied his horse to the hitching post, then walked to the back of the wagon and pulled out two of the three rocking chairs. He’d come back for the box in a bit. When he entered, he saw Anna behind the counter. “Hello.”

She looked surprised to see him. “What are you doing here?”

His smile faded. “The rockers? I said I’d bring them, remember?”

“Oh,
ya
. That’s right.” The confused look on her face disappeared. “I can’t believe I forgot about that.”

“Snow, sleet, rain, not even heavy traffic on 87 will keep your delivery
mann
from his mission.”

She laughed. “You’re more than a delivery
mann
, Lukas.”

“Flattery will get you everywhere.” Grinning, he held up the rocking chairs. “Where do you want these?”

“Just put them in the back.”

He did as she asked, then returned to the front. “Be right back.”

After he’d unloaded all the rockers, he went to Anna. “I wish I could stay longer, but I need to get back.”

“That’s all right. I’m really busy this morning.” She glanced away.

There weren’t any customers in the store, but maybe she meant she was busy with paperwork. Looking to see if anyone was around, he leaned over and kissed her cheek. “See you later.”

“Bye.” Her cheeks rosy, she waved as he walked out the door.

Anna watched Lukas as he left. She had forgotten he’d mentioned he was delivering the rockers today. Where was her mind this morning? But she knew the answer to that. She’d been on edge since she’d gotten up.

“Anna?” Her mother emerged from the back room. Today was Thursday, or as her
mami
teasingly called it, her “Zeb-free” day. Each Thursday she helped Anna in the store from open to close while Zeb spent Thursdays with his Yankee friend Charlie, who took him to the flea market in Bloomfield. It was the one day of the week they didn’t have to worry about Zeb getting into trouble.

“What do you need,
Mami
?”

“What is this about?”

She looked at her mother, surprised at the tightness in her voice. Then she saw the pink paper in her hand, torn from a message pad, with her doctor’s appointment and the word
surgery
written on it. Anna thought she had put the paper inside her purse, but she must have neglected to do it.

“Who’s having surgery?”

Anna’s first reaction was to lie. She hadn’t wanted anyone to know about the surgery. But she couldn’t do that, not to her mother’s face. If only she had paid more attention. But she’d been so distracted this week.

She sighed. “I am.”

“What?” Edna went to her. “Why? When?” She gripped Anna’s arm, forcing her to face her. “What’s going on?”

“I was going to tell you tonight.”

“When’s the surgery?”

“Today.”

“And you weren’t going to tell me until tonight?” She let go of Anna’s arm and tossed the paper on the counter, hurt and dismay evident in her features. “How could you keep this from me?”

“It’s an outpatient procedure, and I’ll be home by the afternoon. I’ll be fine by tomorrow.”

“And what exactly are you having done?”

“A laparoscopy.” She explained to her mother about her visit to Dr. Caxson. “So you see, there’s nothing to worry about.”

Edna leaned against the counter, distress contorting her features. “I wish you would have told me. I could have helped.”

“There’s nothing you can do,
Mami
.”

Edna didn’t look convinced. “At least I can go with you. We’ll close the shop for the day.”

“I won’t do that. Thursday is one of our busiest days of the week. Besides, Ruth is coming in to help out today after school.”

“Then call the doctor and reschedule the appointment for when I can be there with you.”

“I can’t.”

“Can’t . . . or won’t?”

Anna didn’t respond. Her mother wouldn’t understand. She hadn’t come to this decision lightly.

“Anna? Are you listening to me?”

Clearing her thoughts and focusing back on her mother, she said, “
Ya
. And I told you I can’t cancel. Susan’s coming to pick me up in a few minutes.”

“Anna, I don’t understand why you want to go through this by yourself. Does Lukas know?”

“
Nee
, and I don’t plan on telling him.” They’d only been courting for a couple of weeks, and even though they had been friends much longer, she couldn’t imagine talking to him about something as personal as this.

“But what if the surgery doesn’t work?”

“It will.” She heard a honk from the parking lot and grabbed her purse off the desk.

“Anna, wait.”

“I can’t,
Mami
. Susan’s here.” She headed for the door, glancing over her shoulder before opening it.

Edna stood behind the counter, her head bent slightly. She could hear her mother whispering, no doubt saying a prayer on her behalf. Despite their argument, she was grateful to be blessed with a praying mother.

She stepped outside the store, a cold blast of air hitting her full force, despite most of her face being obscured by her bonnet. A few flakes of snow had started to fall, and a sharp wind swirled around the hem of her sage green dress. Her black knee socks did little to keep her legs warm.

Susan waved from the driver’s side of her Buick sedan. Anna waved back and opened the door, climbing quickly inside, thankful for the warmth of the car’s heater. Although Susan knew about the doctor’s appointment, she didn’t know the specifics.

“Ready to go?” Susan said, pulling the gearshift down.

“
Ya
.” Anna looked out of the passenger window, a fresh wave of nerves assaulting her. A shiver passed through her body, one unrelated to the wintery cold. “God willing, I’m ready.”

Later that morning, Anna moved to sit up from the examination table, still groggy from the anesthetic the doctor had given her an hour or so ago. A sharp, burning pain stabbed her below her belly button. She winced. Both Dr. Caxson and his nurse assisted her to a sitting position, then he wheeled his stool to the table and sat down in front of her. “How are you feeling?”