An Impossible Dilemma: A Psychological Thriller Novel (21 page)

"Would you move back to Manchester?" Frank asked.

"Would you want to?"

"No, but you don't have to worry about me."

"Frank, behave. If the farm sold, all it would mean is we would find somewhere else to live. It would make absolutely no difference to us."

"I have no hold on you, lass. It's not fair. You shouldn't have to tie yourself to me now Jonathan's gone. You have your own life to live."

"Would you listen to yourself. Aren't we family?"

"Of course we are."

"Well, nothing is set in concrete. We just need to think things through. The farm is hard without Jonathan. Alex is amazing, but what about when he wants to move on? We'll be in a mess."

"Should be worth quite a bit. We own it outright, so wouldn't have to worry about an income."

"That's your money though, Frank. I'd still need an income."

"Now who's being daft? What will I do with it? Leave it in the bank until I die, and then you'll get the lot anyway."

"Don't talk like that."

"We have to be honest. You need to know your future will be set financially, whatever happens."

"What if, and it's a big if, because I don't know the legalities. But couldn't we just sell off the land? Keep the house and clinic and sell the farm buildings, stock and land?"

"I don't see why not. It's been done before. It wouldn't hurt to look into it and I'd love to stay here. This house has a lot of memories for me."

"Me too. I'll find out what I can tomorrow."

The next few days were hectic. I made an appointment with the council and had a couple of estate agents round to give us an idea of price if we were able to split off the land. There were some restrictions, but it looked as though it would be possible.

The other alternative would be to rent the land out, which might be a good idea in the interim; at least we'd get rid of the work and get an income for it as well.

***

On Sunday evening, while Emily bathed I changed the sheets on her bed. As I removed the fitted bottom sheet, I heard a clunk as something fell down the back of the bed. I shoved my arm down the gap and pulled out a red-jewelled pillbox. I unclasped the tiny latch on the lid and found two rings inside, a diamond engagement ring and a wedding ring.

"Emily!" I marched through to the bathroom.

Emily lay on her back, her head under the water, blowing bubbles. When she saw me standing over her she sat up quickly, coughing and spluttering, and sending water cascading all over the floor.

Once she'd calmed down, I held out the box. "Where did this come from?"

"Dunno?"

"Don't start that again, Emily. Where did it come from? If you don't tell me, we're not meeting your friends tomorrow."

"Aw, Mummy.” She began crying.

"Enough!"

She stopped, her beautiful eyes wide open. "From Auntie Lyn's."

Auntie Lyn was the next-door neighbour, Lynette Woods. She and her husband had been Frank and Barbara's best friends for years. Emily had gone over there with Frank a few days ago, and she must have taken it then.

"This looks expensive, Emily. Lyn must be very upset to have lost it."

"I'm sorry."

"Come on. Out.” I unplugged the bath and wrapped my thieving little daughter in a fluffy white towel. I dried her and she dressed herself in her pyjamas while I finished off making the bed.

"Tell Auntie Lyn I'm shorry."

“Pardon?"

“Tell Auntie Lyn I'm shorry."

It was starting again. The slurring was the first thing I noticed every time.

"I will, my baby. You get to sleep now."

It had been four months. The same length of time as before. I'd noticed her slurring when she was tired for a few weeks before the pub party.

I walked down the stairs and sat on the bottom step, my head in my hands. I missed Jonathan with an intensity I’d never known, but I felt angry at the same time.  Angry with him for leaving me like this, and for being so careless on that fucking digger.

Tears poured from my eyes and my chest constricted, as invisible fingers squeezed every last bit of air from my lungs. I had to fight to inhale. A few minutes later, I wiped my eyes and walked through to the snug.

Frank was watching
Antiques Roadshow
.

"Are you okay, lass?"

"Yeah, but I just found this in Emily's bed." I showed him the pretty, red box. "It's Lyn's. I'm going to take it back there now. Will you listen out for Em? Steph's reading in her room."

"Of course I will, lass."

***

I knocked at the door and the hall light came on almost immediately.

Dave opened the door and seemed pleased to see me. "Come in, lass."

"Thanks, Dave. Sorry it's so late."

"It's not too late, we're just having a cheeky gin. Do you fancy a snifter?"

"It's been ages since I drank gin—it's all I used to drink when I first met Jonathan."

"Go through to the lounge and I'll get you one. Tonic and a slice of lemon?"

"Lovely."

Lynette sat on the sofa with her feet tucked underneath her. She beckoned me into the room and patted the cushion next to her. "What a nice surprise. Is this a social call?" Her eyebrows furrowed. "Is something wrong?"

"Not wrong. Well …" I took a deep breath before pulling the pillbox from my pocket. "I found this."

"Oh, Emily?"

I nodded. "I'm sorry."

"She's quick, I'll give her that. I hadn't even noticed it was missing. Are the rings still inside?"

"Yeah, they are. I found it in her bed."

"They were my grandmother's rings. I've had them for years." She opened the lid and smiled.

"She doesn't mean it. The specialist say's it's definitely her illness. She can't help it."

"It's hard on you."

"What is?" David said, handing me a glass.

"Emily, she's been stealing again." Lyn passed him the pillbox. "The doctor says it's her illness."

"Aye, lass. It's a terrible shame, so it is."

"We're coping. Frank’s been amazing. He's found his calling, helping Emily with her schoolwork."

"Aye, every cloud they say. We've noticed he's bucked up a wee bit."

"Did I see Jason Reid at your place this afternoon?" Lyn said.

I nodded.

"Thinking of selling then?" She raised her eyebrows.

"Just weighing up our options. It's difficult."

"I bet it is. You only have to ask if you need some help though. You know that, don't you?"

"I do, thanks, Lyn, and we appreciate it, but you have your own things to keep on top of."

"Did I tell you our Michael's coming home from Ireland next week?"

I shook my head. "No, how come?"

"He and Maria have finally broken up, for good this time. And although it's not a very nice thing to admit, I'm glad. They've not been happy for years."

"That will make things easier for you," I said.

"Yeah, it will, and you'll have a fit young man on hand if you need it. We're not much cop in that department nowadays are we, Dave?”

Dave shook his head.

"Oh he's gonna love that isn't he? You donating his services to the neighbours." I smiled.

"He's a good boy, had his own farm in Ireland. They've sold it now and split the profits. She's gone on her merry way with her fancy man. I said it all along, didn't I, Dave?"

Dave nodded.

"She's a trollop. I'm just glad they didn't have any kiddies," Lyn continued, off on a tangent now.

"When did you last see him?" I asked.

"Three years ago, when we went over there for a long weekend. He rings every week, though. I spoke to him just this morning."

"It'll be exciting to see him, then. When's he arriving?"

"Next Saturday. Yeah, it'll be strange to have him here. He left home when he was eighteen years old, almost twenty years ago now."

"Wow."

"I know." She laughed. "We have plenty of room here—we don't have to get under each other's feet. Our Ronnie has always lived no more than five minutes away, but she's been pregnant more often than not over the past five years. And as you already know, Vic, she doesn't have an easy time of it."

"Yeah, I know. I don't know if I'd ever have another if I suffered as much she does." I grimaced.

Chapter 29

"Can I put the angel on top?" Emily asked staring up at the Christmas tree.

"Do you have a pair of stilts?" I asked.

"What are they?"

"Two long sticks that you stand on so you can reach the top."

She looked at me, her eyes screwed half-closed and her head cocked to one side.

"Never mind." I laughed. "How do you intend getting up there?"

"You can lift me up."

"You must be joking. It's too high, and you’re too big."

"I can lift you up," Alex said as he walked into the room.

"Oh hello, Alex. How's things with you?" I smiled affectionately.

"Good, thanks. I'm just checking what time we're leaving tonight."

"The taxi will be here at seven-ish. Is that all right?"

"Fine. Right, where's that angel?"

Emily jumped up from her spot underneath the tree and placed the red baubles on the coffee table before digging the tatty old angel out of the box.

"She's a little past her best, isn't she, Em?" I asked. "Maybe we need a new one."

"Aw no, Mummy. I like her."

"Okay then, we'll keep her this one last time but she won't make next Christmas." As I said the words, my stomach did a twirl, realising she might not be the only one not around by next Christmas.

Emily’s slurring was worse and she’d been lethargic in the afternoons this past week. I was determined to make this Christmas the best I could. Who knew what the New Year would bring.

Alex lifted Emily up so she could put the angel in pride of place. Then he left to get ready for tonight.

Frank and I were taking him and Steph to The Bells for our Christmas bash, and we’d also invited a few of our more important clients.

Lynette was coming over to look after Emily for a couple of hours and I was quite looking forward to letting my hair down for a little while. Well, figuratively. It was still too short to put up.

We finished decorating the tree and I had a shower while Emily had a bath. I agreed to let Lyn put her to bed.

***

The taxi arrived bang on time. Stephanie looked amazing in a sparkly green off-the-shoulder dress.

I wore my old faithful black trousers and jazzed them up with a turquoise sequinned blouse I'd bought a couple of years before. I found a pair of flashing Christmas earrings in with the decorations and wore them instead of my gold hoops, surprised they still worked.

We were doing a secret Santa and I had an awkwardly shaped, terribly wrapped gift under my arm.

"Ready?" I called as I walked into the lounge in search of Frank. I found him chatting with Lyn. "Come on, mister, the taxi's waiting. Time for bed, Em."

"Auntie Lyn said she'd read me a story."

I glanced at Lyn, who nodded.

"Okay, but then it's straight to sleep."

"Okay, Mummy. You look pretty."

"Thanks, baby. Goodnight." I kissed the top of her head. "We won't be late, Lyn."

"Take as long as you like. I'm looking forward to watching exactly what I want on TV. I've got two of the buggers flicking channels at home now."

"Oh, of course. I forgot Michael's home."

We all shuffled into the hallway where we met Steph coming down the stairs.

The restaurant was full of party revellers, and the atmosphere was pumping.

We'd pre-ordered a set menu of with the choice of pâté and melba toast or prawn cocktail to start, followed by a traditional turkey with all the trimmings, and a choice of Christmas pudding with brandy sauce or trifle.

Sam and Angela Anderson were already sitting at our table.

"Hello, you two. Sorry we're late," I said, kissing them both before sitting down.

"You're not late. We're early, as per usual." Angela laughed, gazing pointedly at her husband and raising her eyebrows.

"I'd rather be too early than late." Sam attempted to defend himself. "Who else is coming?" He nodded at the empty chairs.

"Cathy and Martin Coombes from Sedgewick Farm, and Steve Allen and his current squeeze."

Steve Allen was the local Lothario. He'd gone through all the single women in the area—and some not so single—and broken many hearts. He owned a deer farm which had a venison butchery and shop on the premises.

Cathy and Martin Coombes were popular with all the young girls in the area. Cathy was a riding instructor and they owned a pony trekking business.

As we spoke, a suave-looking Steve Allen walked in with a blond beauty on his arm. She must have been half his age, if that. I smiled as he approached us.

"Steve, glad you could make it."

"I'd never stand up a pretty woman," he said, bending to kiss me.

I groaned. "Cheese alert!" Everyone laughed.

"Don't be like that, Victoria. You could hurt my feelings." He feigned injury.

"Shut up and introduce your guest." I smiled, extending my hand to the young girl at his side.

"This is Sally-Ann. Sally-Ann, this is Victoria Lyons, our very own wonder vet."

Sally-Ann gripped my hand with surprising strength for such a little thing. I introduced the rest of the guests to her as we sat down.

A couple of minutes, later Cathy and Martin arrived with their arms full of gifts.

"What's all this?" I asked. "You're supposed to bring one each, that's all."

"We've got a few goodies for Emily. You're still planning on her taking riding lessons in January, aren't you?" Cathy asked.

"If she's well enough, yes."

"Then she'll need these. I'll leave them here under the table—don't forget them."

"That's so nice of you. Thanks."

Martin shuffled around the back of the table and sat next to Frank.

We began pulling crackers, putting on the silly paper hats and reading out the corny jokes.

The waiters were told to keep the wine flowing, and by the time the dessert was being served, the table was in a raucous state.

Alex seemed to be the worst. Wine obviously wasn’t his drink of choice, and it had gone straight to his head. His alter ego emerged as a confident and extremely funny young man.

Sally-Ann was clearly smitten with him and laughed as Alex and Steve bounced off each other all night, like a double act. My jaw ached from laughing.

Stephanie sat opposite Steve and they flirted blatantly, although Sally-Ann didn't seem to notice because she only had eyes for Alex.

I stopped drinking after a couple of wines. After eating too much food, I couldn’t face it, but I didn't want to be a party pooper. I loved seeing Frank enjoy himself, catching up with his old mates, David and Martin. They’d all had a good go at the wine and were now hitting the whisky. Angela and Cathy were also putting the world to rights.

After the dessert, we went through to the bar. "One more, and then I'll ring a taxi," I said to Frank.

He nodded. "Aye, lass, it's well past my bedtime."

"Oh well, you can have a lie-in tomorrow."

"Chance would be a fine thing," he said. "All those years as a farmer messed me up for lie-ins."

Once in the bar, the group rearranged. Alex and Sally-Ann sat together and so did Steph and Steve.

I noticed a woman in her fifties trying to catch Sally-Ann's eye. Sally-Ann cringed and gave her a small wave.

The woman approached the table.

"Get ush a drink Shal."

"Leave me alone, Mam," Sally hissed.

My ears pricked up. Sally-Ann was a pretty, slim, well-dressed young woman. But her mother was as rough as they come, with rank, yellowing grey hair stuck to her head. Her clothes were smelly and stained.

"Aw, don't be like that wiv ya own mam."

By now, Steve had noticed the exchange and put two and two together. "Is this your mum, Sally-Ann?"

She hesitated, then nodded. All eyes on her.

"Get her a glass then, and pull up a chair."

"No, she's okay, aren't you, Mum?" Sally-Ann eyeballed her mother. "Haven't you got things to do? Come on, I'll get you a drink." Sally-Ann got up from her seat and ushered her mum to the bar.

I raised my eyebrows at Angela, and she swiped her brow with the back of her hand and laughed.

I nodded and smiled.

Alex began chatting to a group of girls on the next table.

Angela and Sam stood up to leave.

"I've had a wonderful time. Thanks, Vic." Angela said.

"Aye, lass. Thank you." Sam kissed me.

Sally-Ann came back to the table, having bought her mum a pint of something then left her at the bar.

Stephanie and Steve were engrossed deep in conversation, so Sally-Ann sat next to me.

"Are you okay?" I asked her once Sam and Angie had left.

"Yeah, sorry about that. She does my head in."

"Oh dear. Do you not get on?"

"Are you joking? Just look at her. She's a right pain in the neck."

I didn't know what to say. I felt awkward, so I focused on the hysterical laughter coming from the next table. I smiled at Sally-Ann and rolled my eyes.

She looked at Alex longingly, then at Steve and Steph. "I think I'll get going. Thanks for the meal. Would you tell Steve I had a headache?"

"If you're sure," I said.

"Yeah, she won't leave me alone now. Once she's necked her cider she'll be back over. I don't think Steve will even notice I've gone."

"I'm sure he will."

"No, and anyway, I wouldn't foist my mum on my worst enemy. She'll be mithering you soon, and you're too nice."

"Don't let her ruin your night."

"It's too late. I bet you think I'm a terrible daughter, don't you?"

"No, I don't. You obviously have your reasons."

"She's always been a pain, but since my brother went missing, she's even worse. She drives me mad."

"Your brother?"

"Yeah, our Shane. He was another scumbag, to be honest with you. My family's full of them. What? Don't look so shocked. I know what they're like."

"I'm not … I mean …" my heart clattered against my ribcage.

She laughed. "Yeah, I know what you mean. Don't worry, I'm used to it."

"How did you turn out to be so lovely?"

She shrugged. "My mum gave me away when I was two. My Auntie Kath brought me up."

"So how come you’re back here?"

"Auntie Kath died last year and I had nowhere else to go. I don't intend to stay around. I'd have already gone if it wasn't for Shane vanishing. Mum's been distraught and I felt rotten leaving."

"What do you think happened to him?"

She shrugged. "Honestly, I think he's probably dead. But he could be anywhere. If there was a few quid to be had, Shane would be there. So long as it’s illegal, that is. God forbid he'd get himself a real job. Anyway, he was partial to every drug going, and was also a dealer. He’d do anything for the price of a pint."

"Oh, right."

"Do you know him?"

"No. I don't think so."

She pulled a leaflet out of her bag and handed it to me.

My breath hitched in my throat as I stared into the cold eyes of Shane Logan.

"You know him?" she asked again.

"Seen him around. But no, I don't know him." I passed the leaflet back to her.

"Keep it—I've got hundreds. My mum makes me hand them out."

I folded the paper and shoved it into the side pocket of my handbag.

Sally-Ann hugged me and got up to leave. "Thank you for dinner. It was lovely and very nice to meet you."

"You're welcome," I said, standing up. I gripped both of her elbows. "Sally-Ann, I'm sorry if I'm speaking out of turn, but if I were you I'd get away from here, from your family, and try to make a decent life for yourself. They'll just drag you down."

She smiled, there was a pained expression in her eyes and she sighed deeply. “I have nowhere to go," she said.

"Call me next week—the number's in the book. I might be able to help you."

I don't know why, but I felt compelled to help this lovely young woman. She had the most awful family and I could clearly see that she wouldn't amount to much if she stayed around them. She would end up just another disgusting drunk if left to her mother's devices.

"Thank you, Victoria, I will." She smiled and walked quietly away.

"Pretty young girl isn't she?" Cathy said.

I nodded. "Such a shame to have …" I cocked my head to the side, indicating Sally-Ann's mum.

"I know. All of them are trouble. She doesn't seem anything like the rest."

"She just told me her aunt brought her up, until she died. She's done a marvellous job with her too. Shame all that hard work will be undone by that lot."