An Indecent Longing (26 page)

Get a grip.

“Is Dorrie okay? No one touched her, did they?”

“No.” Ian shook his head. “No one got near her.”

“How did he find out? Did he say anything at all about how he knows—”

“Risa.” Antonoff’s voice cut her off like a knife. “Let’s take this into my office. I’m sure Mr. Shaw would appreciate a private audience for your interrogation.”

If Ian thought Antonoff would intimidate his daughter—his
oldest
daughter—Larisa quickly disabused him of that by rolling her eyes and shaking her head. But then she huffed and pulled on Ian’s arm.

“Fine. Come with me, Mr. Keller. We need to talk.”

Half a minute later, Ian found himself behind a thick wooden door in a room that made him think of old Sherlock Holmes movies. This was clearly Antonoff’s personal office.

And it was like nothing Ian would’ve imagined.

“All right. No one can hear us in here.” Larisa hopped onto the edge of the desk, long legs and arms crossed as she glared at Ian. “Speak.”

Ian’s attention sliced back to Antonoff but the man had slumped into the chair behind the desk. He finally appeared to be showing some emotion. A little fear, a lot of exhaustion. But he kept his mouth shut.

He couldn’t believe the man was going to let his daughter do the questioning but then he didn’t really know Antonoff at all.

And he didn’t want to. The man was a criminal who peddled drugs and weapons and people and murdered others.

And he was Dorrie’s father.

Gritting his teeth against the urge to tell the guy to go fuck himself, Ian focused on Larisa and recounted what had happened, every last detail that he could remember.

And when he finally fell silent, Antonoff and his daughter exchanged a long glance.

Obviously, they knew something Ian didn’t. And Ian didn’t want to know. He wanted nothing more to do with Dorrie. Wanted to hand her back to Antonoff and forget he’d ever considered—

Considered what?

“Thank you, Mr. Keller.” Antonoff sighed and rose from his chair. “I appreciate your candor and your assistance with this situation. My men will take it from here. I’m sure you don’t wish to be pulled any farther into this business.”

Antonoff was absolutely right.

“So that’s what you considered Dorrie? Business?”

The contempt in Larisa’s voice bit at Ian, but he told himself he shouldn’t care what she thought. He only cared about getting the hell out of this toxic arrangement before it killed him or Ben. Christ, if anything happened to Ben because of this, it’d be Ian’s fault. He’d dragged his cousin into this mess that first night at the Lazarus.

“I suggest you don’t answer that question, Mr. Keller.” Antonoff’s expression actually held a hint of resigned humor. “I can assure you, there’s no answer to that question that will placate my daughter. When it comes to her relationship with her sister, she might be the more dangerous of the two of us. But I will say this, if you don’t leave now, I may let her take a swing at you. Because if I decided to take my shot, you might not survive.”

And there was the man who’d taken control of a major Russian crime family and made it his own in a matter of months with very little bloodshed.

If Ian hadn’t been so far beyond his tolerance level already, he would’ve known to walk away right then. But the rage that’d had years to build had finally reached its tipping point.

“I don’t take orders from you.” Ian’s hands clenched at his sides and he made very sure he kept his gaze on Antonoff. Larisa had nothing to do with this. “I will
never
take orders from you and I’m not afraid of you. You’re the reason your daughters have to constantly watch for threats over their shoulders. You’re the reason Dorrie’s life is about to be ruined. You’re the reason my father never made it out of prison.”

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Larisa’s eyes widen in shock but he couldn’t stop now. He’d kept this bottled inside for so long, if he didn’t get it out, he was afraid he might choke on it.

Antonoff’s expression never changed. Because he knew Ian was right.

“You have ruined so many fucking lives, and your daughters are the ones who are going to pay.” Now he did look at Larisa. “If I were you, I’d change your name and move somewhere no one knew you. Far away from him. And take your sister with you.”

Then he turned and walked back through the house and out the door.

“Ben, what the hell are you still doing here?”

With bleary eyes, Ben looked toward the door of his office Wednesday night. Adam stood there, leaning a shoulder against the frame, eyebrows raised. Then Ben looked at the time on his monitor.

Nine p.m.

“Shit. Must’ve lost track of time.” He stood, stretching muscles that protested the two hours he’d spent without moving anything other than his hands. “What’s your excuse?”

“Late call from Japan.” Adam nodded toward his monitor. “I didn’t realize you had a case that required digging into organized crime in Philadelphia.”

Busted.
Ben held Adam’s gaze through sheer force of will. “I don’t. This is personal.”

“Yeah, no shit.” With a sigh, Adam walked into the room and dropped into the chair on the other side of Ben’s desk. “You think it’s a good idea, sticking your nose in Antonoff’s business?”

“If it helps keep Dorrie safe? Yes.”

Adam grimaced. “I get it. You find anything?”

Ben started to grin. “Yeah, actually, I did.”

Sitting forward, Adam’s eyes widened. “Seriously? I just figured the guy’s body hadn’t been found floating in the Schuylkill yet. But you found him alive?”

“As of two hours ago, yeah, Tosto was still alive.”

It’d taken almost every second that he hadn’t spent on actual work for the firm for the past three days to do it, but finally Ben had found the man who’d blown apart their relationship with Dorrie.

He was good at running targets to ground, didn’t matter if they were in some godforsaken shithole in Kabul or a back alley in South Philly. The Army had trained him well. It’s why he had had all those fricking medals on his uniform.

Leaning back in the chair, Adam shook his head. “So what are you gonna do with the intel?”

This is where it got sticky. “I’m not sure yet.”

“You tell Ian?”

Ben grimaced, couldn’t help it. “No. He’s been a little…”

“Like a block of ice with a face?”

Ben huffed out a laugh. “You noticed?”

“Christ, who didn’t? Mary Alice is ready to beat him over the head with her keyboard.” Adam paused. “Is he okay? Before you guys joined us, I know he’d had some issues.”

Yeah, issues including insomnia, nightmares, and an emotional disconnect that’d made him act like a fucking zombie, something Ben had stupidly thought Dorrie would help with.

Turns out, Ben had just made things worse.

“Honestly?” Ben shook his head. “I don’t know.”

“Does it have to do with your relationship with Dorrie? You wanna talk about it? With…you know…someone who actually gets the dynamics?”

It was on the tip of Ben’s tongue to say no. For years, it’d been just him and Ian. Yeah, they’d both had teams they’d worked with, other men they’d trusted with their lives. But this was different. This was emotional, relationship stuff that even he and Ian hadn’t discussed.

And maybe never would.

“I’m not sure there is a thing with Dorrie anymore. And honestly…” Ben shook his head. “I’m not sure I was ever more than an extra body.”

There. He’d said it. The thought that’d been going through his mind since she’d walked out their door Sunday.

Adam’s gaze narrowed. “Did she make you feel like that?”

Ben opened his mouth to answer then shut it just as fast and thought about his answer. “No. I think…it’s more that she knew Ian first. Maybe I feel like I was just a way for her to get close to Ian.”

“Did you actually tell her how you felt? Or ask her what she wanted? I don’t know her all that well but she seems like she doesn’t talk much and then only when she really means it.”

Their first date came to mind. Hell, their only date, less than two weeks ago. He started to shake his head. “Christ, I just met her last week. There’s no way I should be this invested.”

Adam’s mouth split in a smile and he started to laugh. “Man, you sound like me. You and I have a lot more in common than you think. Did you know Tris had been in love with Kat for years? They grew up in the same neighborhood, went to the same school. She had no idea who I was when she met me but she had a relationship with Tris. Yeah, it fucked with my head for a while, too. Especially since I took one look at her and decided I wanted her.”

Ben’s gaze narrowed. “How’d you get over it?”

“Some of that’s on you. You gotta trust that when she says she wants you both, she means it. Yeah it’s a leap of faith but it’s worth every ounce of anguish when it works. And it helps when you trust the other guy in the relationship with your life and with
her
life. As far as I can tell, you and Ian already have that. Sometimes it’s tough to stick together though. And if she tries to throw a wedge between you or play you off one another, then it’s not gonna work. Ever. Any of that make sense?”

Smiling, Ben nodded. “Yeah, actually, it did.”

“Good. Now what the hell are you going to do with that intel? Because if you go after Tosto yourself, you’re going to put yourself in the middle of something you don’t want to be in the middle of.”

Ben already knew that. “So what do you suggest I do with it?”

Adam grimaced. “Something Ian’s probably gonna hate.”

* * * * *

From the couch, Ian saw Ben walk through the front door of their home and head straight for him, his expression set with purpose.

Ben had worked late every day since Dorrie had left. And Ian had deliberately kept his distance. The time apart had given him breathing room, time to calm down. And too damn much time to think.

Because when he let himself drift, he thought about Dorrie. About how much he missed her, how much he still wanted her.

He wondered if she was okay. Did she miss them? Or hate them? He wondered if Ben had been in touch with her.

And then he wondered why the hell he was thinking about her because he’d screwed any chance he had of a relationship with her.

Ben knew it, too, and Ian had felt the distance between them like a frigid river that divided them. He fucking hated it.

And he didn’t know what to say, how to tell Ben he was sorry. Hell, he wasn’t even sure what the hell he was sorry for.

Now, Ben came to a stop directly in front of him so he had to either acknowledge his presence or move so he could see the TV.

“What’s up?”

Ben nodded toward the door. “Let’s go. I found Tosto.”

He had to stop himself from grabbing his gun and saying he’d drive. “And what does that have to do with us?”

“It means Adam already called Antonoff to let him know we were coming over so I could fill him in and then we’re going to check on Dorrie.”

Any mention of Antonoff’s name still made Ian want to rip the guy’s head off but that initial urge was mixed with pain and anger. All because of Dorrie.

So he concentrated on the one thing he could focus on. “Why aren’t we going directly to Tosto to blow his head off?”

That’s how life happened sometimes. Bad guys died. Ben had killed a few. Ian had killed more than a few.

Ben’s gaze remained steady. “Because that’s not our job. Our job is making sure Dorrie’s safe.”

Yes. No.

“Are you really prepared to cross this line?” Ian had to ask. “Because once you do, that line will keep moving until you’re not sure where it should be. You get in bed with Antonoff and we may never get out.”

“I’m not suggesting we get in bed with Antonoff. I want Dorrie in our bed and I’m willing to do whatever it takes to keep her safe. Are you?”

He didn’t answer right away, because he wasn’t sure he had an answer to that question.

He’d had a week to think about it, chew it over, and change his mind about a thousand times.

The only conclusion he’d come to was that he wanted Dorrie.

And maybe that was the only one that mattered.

“And if she doesn’t want to be with us? Have you thought about that?”

“Then we’ll just have to convince her we’re worth the trouble.” Ben shrugged. “You might have to work a little harder than me.”

“And if I can’t get over the fact that Antonoff’s her father?”

Ben didn’t blink. “Then you’re going to have to step aside so I can win her back. She’s not responsible for who her father is. If you choose to hold that against her, that’s your deal.”

Yeah, it was. “I’m not sure I’m ever going to be okay with her relationship with Antonoff. I just don’t know that I can do it.”

“Do you care for her?”

Ian’s eyes widened. “You want to talk about our feelings?”

Ben’s expression never changed. “I want to know how you feel about her.”

His jaw locked over the desire to tell Ben to fuck off.

“Because if you don’t care about her, stay home. But if you walk out that door with me, you’re agreeing to be okay with it. Because this isn’t about your relationship with Antonoff. It’s about your relationship with Dorrie.”

Each of Ben’s words hit him like a punch. “You do know I might have pushed her away completely.”

Ben shook his head. “I’m not ready to give up yet.”

“You played baseball in school. Three strikes, Ben.”

“By my count, you’re only down two.”

Ian just kept shaking his head as he got off the couch. “Sometimes that’s all you get ’cause life’s not fair. Fuck it, I’m driving. Let’s go.”

* * * * *

Antonoff sat behind his desk in his home office, reading through the information Ben had set in front of him.

Ian sprawled in the chair next to Ben, looking deceptively at ease. Ben knew Ian wasn’t anything close to being at ease. But Ian has the art of looking calm, cool and collected down to a science.

Ben was good at hiding his emotions. He just wasn’t at Ian’s level. So he shifted in his chair for the second time since they’d sat down five minutes ago.

Finally, Antonoff looked up, those striking blue eyes staring straight at Ben and then at Ian.

“Thank you for the information,” he said. “I appreciate your help in this matter. I’ll take it from here.”

Ben opened his mouth to protest but he snapped it shut a second later. This is why they’d come. This is why they’d passed on the information. For Antonoff to handle it.

This was business they wanted no part of. And Antonoff was a man Ian had spent most of his life despising.

There was no way they could get wrapped up in this.

“That’s not how this is going to work.”

Ben’s head snapped toward his cousin. Ian had spoken so calmly, Ben almost didn’t believe the words had come from his cousin.

Antonoff didn’t look surprised. He also didn’t look encouraging. He reminded Ben of a lion, regal and bored. Of course, that lion would rip your face off in a heartbeat.

“And how do you see this working, Mr. Shaw?”

Ben felt like he was at a tennis match as his gaze shot back to Ian, who stared at Antonoff with the same, calm expression. “We’ll accompany to your meeting with Tosto. I want to make it clear that, if anything should happen to her, we will make him pay for it.”

Was Antonoff actually trying not to smile? “And what makes you think he’ll be more worried about you than he is about me?”

“The man obviously thinks he’s on your level. This is business for him. For us, it’s personal.”

Any hint of a smile vanished from Antonoff’s face. “And what makes you think I don’t value my daughter’s life more than my business?”

Ben had the almost overwhelming urge to tell Ian to tread carefully, even though he knew Ian already realized that. But Ian was nothing if not careful.

“I don’t. But if we’re going to have a relationship with Dorrie, Tosto needs to know we’re willing to do whatever it takes to keep her safe.”

“And are you? Willing to do whatever it takes?”

Ben cut in, knowing he needed to add his voice to Ian’s, not just be along for the ride. “Yes, we are.”

Antonoff went silent, his gaze cutting between Ian and Ben. Ben had a few seconds to wonder if the guy was thinking about making them disappear along with Tosto, considering Ian had just told Dorrie’s father they were both dating her. And sleeping with her.

Shit, this is gonna get ugly fast.

But they’d come this far and they weren’t going to back down now. First, they dealt with her father. Then they deal with the threat.

And then…

Then they dealt with Dorrie.

Which would make the first two seem easy.

“Because I love my daughter, I’m willing to make certain concessions,” Antonoff finally said. “I’ll allow you to accompany me to this meeting but you will not interfere and you’ll do exactly as you’re told.”

Ben bristled at the Antonoff’s tone. The guy spoke like they were children. Or working for him. But he kept his mouth shut.

Amazingly, so did Ian, except to say, “We accept.”

Now, Antonoff actually did smile.

And Ben thought that might actually be scarier than if he’d told them he was going to hang them up by their balls.

“Then I’ll call you to let you know when we’ll meet with Mr. Tosto. Be read to move. I won’t wait for you.”

Ben nodded, holding back a relieved sigh as he and Ian stood.

“We’ll be there,” Ian said.

Then they walked out.

And Ben felt like they’d narrowly avoided a run-in with quicksand.

* * * * *

Early Thursday evening, Dorrie grit her teeth and listened to the mother of a little boy with a broken arm tell her he’d fallen off the swings at the playground.

Except the break wasn’t consistent with a fall.

What Dorrie didn’t know was if the mother had grabbed that frail little arm hard enough to fracture the bone or if she was covering for someone else.

It was the second abuse case she’d seen here today and her heart felt like it’d taken a beating.

She wanted to go home, turn the air conditioning down to icebox levels, and take a two-hour, scalding hot bath with a bottle of Zin.

Gens had been installed in her guest bedroom since she’d left Ben and Ian’s home Saturday but he’d been good about staying out of her way.

The problem was, she didn’t think her heart would stop hurting, and it wasn’t just because of the little boy sitting in front of her now and the married mother of two she’d seen an hour earlier.