AN OUTLAW MONSTER (A Back Down Devil MC Romance Novel) (16 page)

twenty-one.

(trent)

They want you to kill him
…
they want you to
kill your own father.

I had to get out of the clubhouse
again. I knew Trev and Jasper had more to say to me but I was done for the
moment. The O
’
Nuall
family were leaning on me because they found a weak link to exploit. That was
my fault and my shame to carry. I was supposed to be
the monster
for the
club, meaning nothing could break me down. But there I was, with an order to
kill my own father and a woman I was engaged to.

Harlee was in the bedroom and I was
in the living room.

In the back of my mind I thought
about Allie. What the fuck was Harlee doing trying to dig around my past? And
fuck Duke for spitting her name at me like that. It was way too much to carry,
even for wide shoulders like mine. The past, the present, and the future all
smashing together.

See, it wasn
’
t killing my father that was the problem, it
was the notion of bending to the O
’
Nuall
family
’
s orders.
Because if I did that, then what? They
’
d
put the MC in a corner and muscle us again and again and again. That was
bullshit. We were supposed to be the muscle. We were supposed to be
strong-arming people.

I walked to the kitchen and got two
beers.

I found Harlee sitting on the edge
of the bed, looking in a notebook.

“
Have
a drink,
”
I said.

She shut the notebook and took the
beer.
“
Thanks.
”

I backed up to the doorway, giving
her space.
“
What
’
s in the notebook?
”

“
Just
stuff,
”
Harlee said.
“
I don
’
t have any real friends
and I don
’
t have any
pictures, so I write stuff down. It
’
s
nice to go back and read it. Or when I think of a memory, I write it down. Just
so I don
’
t forget it
again.
”

“
That
’
s smart,
”
I said.

“
Yeah.
”
She looked at me.
“
You have pictures though.
”

“
Yeah
I do. Lots of them. What the fuck were you doing digging through my drawers?
”

“
Trying
to figure out who you are,
”
Harlee said.
“
I
’
m not ashamed to admit
that. You saved me, Trent. You kept saving me. Then you offer me a diamond ring
…
to save me again. So what
’
s with this guy saving me
over and over? Yet you won
’
t
…”
Her face turned red and
she shrugged her shoulders.

“
I
won
’
t what?
”

“
You
won
’
t fuck me.
”

I was taken back a little bit.
“
Of all things I never
thought I
’
d hear
…”

“
What?
”
she asked.
“
You come after me and then
hesitate. Why? Is it because of Allie?
”

“
Trust
me, darling, don
’
t
say that name,
”
I
warned.
“
Before we
get into anything, tell me how you ended up in this life.
”

“
What
does it matter?
”
she
asked.
“
I skated
around through life trying to find a purpose. Before all that? I went to high
school. I hated it. My boyfriend cheated on me. I had nobody to turn to because
I had no real parents. My father left when I was a kid and my mother worked
herself to death. The second I turned eighteen she took off to do her own
thing. I tried to stay with a friend but she got a job offer after college and
left. So I just started to survive.
”

“
You
like writing in that notebook?
”

“
Yeah.
”

“
So
why not write something and sell it?
”
I asked.

“
I
’
m not a writer, Trent.
”

“
You
put words down. That
’
s
a writer.
”

She smiled.
“
Thanks. But I
’
m
far from it. Plus, when I become your old lady, what happens then? I can
’
t write about anything. I
wouldn
’
t do that to
you and the club.
”

“
I
’
m sorry about what
happened with Duke. He and I always had tension. He
’
s unpredictable.
”

“
Just
like you,
”
Harlee
said.
“
He was there
to work things out. I
’
m
kind of glad because I don
’
t
feel so guilty now. We have an understanding.
”

“
Good,
”
I said.
“
Listen, I didn
’
t force your hand into
anything, Harlee. I expected you stay put and think about it. You took the ring
and you said what you said to Trev. There
’
s
no turning back. I could help you escape but then you
’
d have the MC on your ass, too.
”

“
I
know. I freaked out when I saw the ring, Trent. I wanted an answer. I wanted a
sense of truth from you.
”
She held out her hand and stood up from the bed.
“
Tell
me this ring was meant for someone else.
”

I felt the anger rolling in my
stomach. But there was something about Harlee
’
s
eyes that just threatened to tear me up. Goddammit, that was my fatal flaw. I
rarely fell for a woman but when I did I fell hard.

“
Yeah,
”
I said.
“
That
’
s right. That ring was
meant for someone else.
”

Harlee grabbed the ring and slid it
off her hand. She put it on the nightstand. Next thing I knew she grabbed her
notebook and her bag and started to walk toward the door.

“
Where
do you think you
’
re
going?
”
I asked.

“
I
’
m leaving,
”
she said.
“
I have no reason to be
here. I
’
m not going
to be some whore to you, Trent. If your club wants to chase me down and kill
me, fine. Let them do it. I don
’
t
care. I
’
m not going
to rat on anyone else. Bad enough I did to Daxton and his club. I
’
m done with this life.
”

Harlee walked by me, putting her
hand to my chest, pushing at me. I moved out of the way and watched as she
walked down the hallway. The scene was all too familiar for me. The last time I
saw it happen, I did nothing. I did nothing for the safety of the woman I loved
and maybe even for the safety for myself.

This time?

Fuck that.

“
That
’
s what she did,
”
I called out.
“
Right what you
’
re doing.
”

Harlee stopped walking. She turned
and looked at me.
“
What?
”

“
Right
there. Just like that. She grabbed her bag and walked out. Didn
’
t want to deal with the
life anymore. And you know what I did?
”

“
What
did you do?
”

“
I
let her go,
”
I said.
“
I figured it was for the
better. She couldn
’
t
survive in this world. It would be a constant fight and struggle. I
’
d live with my eyes on the
road and my eyes on her.
”

Harlee dropped her bag to the
floor. She took a few steps toward me and crossed her arms.
“
Keep going.
”

“
There
’
s nothing to tell,
darling. It
’
s my life.
I grew up with my old man running his life into the grave. He loved to gamble,
drink, snort shit, and more than that, he loved pussy. All of it he paid for
with a debt he could never satisfy. I got into the life to escape another. When
I met Allie, it was instant sparks. She was a pretty little woman working at a
restaurant to pay off student loan debt waiting to become a lawyer. We hit it off
and it was just
…
damn. I got deeper into the MC and she got a job offer. Now it was an outlaw
with a lawyer. That didn
’
t
mix so well with what I did for a living. In the beginning it was wild. You
know, the bad guy and the good girl. Probably like those dumb chick flicks you
were watching, right?
”

Harlee smirked.
“
I don
’
t think many of those have
a murderer as the love interest.
”

“
Too
bad. Guys like me, darling, understand life. When you take life, you understand
life. Am I a bad guy? Fuck yeah, I am. But there
’
s
plenty of bad guys standing on the other side of the law. Trust me. I
’
ve seen it.
”

I watched then as Harlee started to
get closer to me.
“
Tell
me more.
”

“
She
took a case that was close to the MC. If it went one way it would help us. If
it went another way, it would hurt us. By then, I was patched in, at the table,
and I was known as
the monster
. I got that name because I beat a guy in
The Hell Five so bad, he could only see out of one eye and couldn
’
t talk. When the police
questioned him as to what happened, he used a whiteboard and a marker to write
down who attacked him. Guess what he wrote down?
”

“
The
monster?
”
Harlee
asked.

“
Exactly.
I was the muscle. I still am the muscle. The case that Allie took was important
for her career. Her bosses knew who I was and knew we were together. There were
a hundred reasons why we shouldn
’
t
have been together. Everyone tried to talk me down. Jasper, Max, Austin. Even
Cash. It was the temptation. Maybe in my heart somewhere it was the small
chance to escape and feel something normal. But this is normal for me. Right
now. Right here. This is my life.
”

“
What
happened with the case?
”

“
She
dumped it off to someone else,
”
I said.
“
I didn
’
t want to put her in the
middle. Ripper - the President before Trev - insisted I do it. That created
some heat in the MC. I thought I was going to lose my cut over it. I might have
done that for her. That
’
s
how much I cared. She came up with the idea to dump the case onto someone else.
The guy who took it was a friend of the club and he worked it in our favor.
Allie got fired from her job. There were probably ten things I could have done
to fix it, but the one that stuck was to ask her to marry me. So I grabbed a
ring. The ring you left in the bedroom. I thought if I could pull her in and
keep her safe, she could understand that the club was family. We
’
re not just barbarians on
motorcycles looking for trouble. We
’
re
brothers.
”

I let out a little laugh and leaned
against the doorway. I watched as Harlee got even closer to me. She was within
reach of me touching her. But she touched me. She ran her finger along the
patch on my leather cut.

Enforcer

That
’
s
what the patch said.

In others words - don
’
t fuck with me or you
’
ll end up dead or with
your jaw wired shut.

“
So
she left?
”
Harlee
asked.

“
She
’
d been planning for a
while. She leveraged herself into a new job in New York. Right outside the
city, a decent sized firm, run by another headstrong woman. This I didn
’
t find out until later
though. She came to the apartment - not this one - and I had the ring in my
hand. She breezed right by me and packed a bag. I watched her do it. I thought
maybe if I let her get close to going and showed her the ring it would all
click. That didn
’
t
happen. I showed the ring and she slapped it out of my hand. She slapped me
across the face, kissed my other cheek, and walked out. Truthfully, I could
have chased her ass down. I could have dragged her to the clubhouse and had the
table vote on what to do with her. But I didn
’
t.
And I made sure nobody in the club bothered her either. She always deserved
better.
”

Harlee ran her hand up my cut to my
neck. Then to my face. Her nails scratching into the scruff on my face.

She shook her head.
“
She
’
s stupid.
”