An Unexpected Hunger (7 page)

I smiled nervously, knowing I was going to have to draw the line a little clearer.

I looked down at my watch. “I better get going.”

“Let’s get something to eat first.”

I swayed my arms, mentally yelling NO! over and over at myself.

“I don’t know…” I said
. “Isn’t unethical or something to be fraternizing with the employees?”

“I
do
love to fraternize…”

I gaped at him
as he reached for my hand.

“
I’m kidding! Come ooonnn,” Ricky insisted, pulling me towards the food court. “My treat.” He flashed his wide grin one more time, and I felt the line I was trying to make more clear, fading faster and faster.

“I have a better idea,” I said.

RICKY CARRIED THE
bags from the grocery store and plopped them on the counter. I washed my hands and took out a knife, carefully slitting each chicken breast to make a pocket. He popped open two beers left over from last night and sat down at the kitchen table after I politely declined his offer to help.

In one pan, the chicken
, stuffed with goat cheese and kalamata olives, sizzled in butter. In the other, shallots simmered in balsamic vinegar, some lemon zest, and a bit of rosemary.

“Damn…that smells good,” Ricky said, hovering over my shoulder. “Is it ready yet?”

“Almost,” I laughed.

Ricky set the table for two as
I quickly sautéed some rainbow chard with olive oil and pine nuts. I placed a piece of chicken on each plate and poured the shallot sauce on top, finishing it off with a heaping helping of the chard.

“Thanks for cooking
. I can’t remember the last time I got a home cooked meal,” Ricky said, biting into a piece of chicken. “Holy shit, that’s good.”

I smiled, relishing in the feeling of cooking someone a good meal.

“Tell me again,
why
are you waitressing? You need to get back in the kitchen.”

I shook my head. “No, I think I’ll stick with the waitressing for a while longer.”

“What? Why? You’re the best cook I know.”

“Rick
y, you’ve had my food twice. I’m sure that can’t possibly be enough times to make a reliable decision.”

“I’m serious,” he said, smiling. “I’ve seen you waitress. You
need
to get back into the kitchen.”

“Ha. Ha. Very funny
.”

We ate
silently for a few minutes, Ricky all but inhaling his plate. He dropped his fork and leaned back in his chair, rubbing his stomach. “Oh my God,” he said. “I think I might explode.”

“I’m glad you liked it.”

“I need a cigarette.” He waved me over as he headed out on the porch. Without asking, he handed me one, lighting it before his.

“So
, what happened?” he asked, before taking a puff. “Why’d you come back?”

“Ah…you don’t want to hear my problems,” I said, trying to deflect his question.
I hadn’t spoken of it since the last time I saw Danny, but kept replaying that night in the restaurant over and over in my head. I held back the real reason I wanted to come home, opting to blame it on a lack of a job and money, which was true. But I could have found another job in California if I really wanted to. The problem was me.

“Yes, I do,
” he said, flicking his cigarette.

Ricky bore
his eyes into me, and at that moment I wanted to let go of the secret I had been withholding for months. I felt it rotting away at me from the inside out, weighing me down like an invisible elephant on my back.

Without breaking from his stare, I let the words fall out of my mouth.
“I slept with my boss…his wife found out and came after me in the kitchen of the restaurant where we worked. Right in the middle of the dinner rush.”

The minute the words left my lips, I felt the weight of a thousand pounds fall off my shoulders. I slumped forward, relieved and ashamed of
what I had just said out loud. I was afraid to look over at Ricky. The seconds ticked by, and he said remained silent.

“I can’t believ
e I just told you that,” I said, cowering behind my hand.

I peered over at Ricky whose eyes were full of surprise and curiosity.

“Wow…” he said. “You just blew me away with that one.”

“I know…it’s awful. I knew he was married
, that what we were doing was wrong…but I did it anyway. I’m sick. I ruined a marriage-”

“That’s not what I meant,” he interrupted. “I mean, I think I’m a little turned on right now.”

I gawked at him, trying to determine whether or not he was mocking me. “What?” I said. “Have you lost your mind?”

“I’m serious
, Lex. Here I thought you were some goody two shoes…going off to California to go to some fancy cooking school, leaving here to do better things, while people like me stayed behind to fuck shit up. But all the while…you’re just as fucked up as me.” He smiled ear to ear.

“Oh my God,” I said, turning away. “Is that supposed to make me feel better?”

“No…but you made a mistake, and I can tell you feel really terrible about it. We all make mistakes.”

“Oh yeah?” I said. “What about you? What happened to your big league dreams with baseball?’

“Nah…I screwed it all up.”

“How?” After what I just confessed, there was no way I was going to let him off easy. Ricky Perry now knew something that
nobody else here did, adding a considerable amount of bargaining material on his part.

“A few weeks after my mom died…I went drinking with a few friends. Mia was there. Anyway, I had way too
much to drink, and some guy kept giving Mia and a couple of other girls a hard time, getting really aggressive. So…I beat the shit out of him.”

I listened intently to every word, waiting for him to continue.
“And?”

Up until now
he avoided my face. This time, he turned and looked me head on. “And…he ended up in the hospital. I got arrested and charged and spent a few months in jail.”

I sat, stunned, now realizing why my comment the night before had wiped the smile clean off his face.

“Ricky…” I said. “I had no idea. I’m so-”

“It’s okay
. I had to go through some anger management shit to get out early.” Ricky took a long inhale of his cigarette and let the smoke glide through his nose. “After she was gone…it was like a switched flipped. Pounding that guy in the face over and over…I knew I needed to stop, but I just couldn’t. It took four guys to peel me off of him.”

I let the information sink in for a few minutes, thinking about the time when Ricky and Mia found out their mother was dying.
She passed away not long after my dad. I had already moved to California and couldn’t come back for the funeral.

“Loosing
someone you love can really make you do crazy things,” I said.

Ricky plucked a leaf o
ff the shrub, picking it apart, his eyes wandering to some other dimension.

“Can I ask you something?”
I said, snapping him back to the present.

Ricky peered over to
me, raising his eyebrows in anticipation.

“What’s with the fancy car and the shopping spree today? Did you discover a money tree in your backyard or something?”

“I wish,” he laughed. “That would be a hell of a lot easier than what I have to go through.”

“What do you mean?”

He fiddled with the cap of the lighter, flipping it back, letting the flame burn, and then closing it back up.

“A few months after I got out, my dad
came to visit me at the house. I wasn’t even sure I wanted to let him in, but he told me he had something for me. He said something about an inheritance he got from an old uncle. He wanted us to have it all. I guess he felt guilty for leaving when my mom got sick. So, I took it…And then he disappeared again. Every once in a while I hear from him, asking for some money. I bought the bar with some of it, and use it for Mia’s tuition and the car.”

Ricky and I sat in silence for a while, listening to the serenading cri
ckets. The silence was peaceful. Not at all awkward with the pressure of needing words to fill the air.

We headed back inside when the mosquitos became unbearable
, and he helped me clean the dishes.

“Thanks for giving me a ride today
.” I offered him a hug, smelling the remnants of his new cologne off his shirt.

“No problem,” he said, as we pulled away. “See you at work tomorrow. Bright and early.” He tapped the top of my head with each word. He headed down the porch steps and
turned around to face me. “I had a really nice time.”

Ricky reached for my hand again, but this time the feeling was different. It was gentler
, and he caressed the skin on the top of my hand with his thumb. The movement sent the blood rushing through me, and I squirmed a little. I knew it had been a while…but holy shit. When did hand holding turn me into a hormone enraged teenage boy?

I will not jump on top of him. I will not jump on top of him.

“I’m really glad that we got to catch up tonight,” I said, clearing my throat. “Now that I’m back I could use a few good friends.”

I let go, breaking free from his spell.

“He’s the one who called you last night, isn’t he? The reason you had to change your number?”

I nodded
, and with out saying another word he got back in his car and drove away. I stayed stock still in the threshold of the door until his car completely disappeared down the road.

I RUSHED INTO the Mug, seeing Ricky’s car parked outside. It was the third time I had been late for my shift all thanks to my completely unreliable brother.

“He’s on a rampage,” Mia warned from behind the bar.

I let out a defeated sigh, and headed towards his office to grab my order book.

“You’re late…again.” The first words out of his mouth
, and he didn’t even bother to look up.

N
ever a good sign.

“I know.
I’m so sorry. I don’t have a car, and you know how Nick is-”

“What’s so hard about showing up on time for
work? Casey can even manage it for fuck’s sake.”

I turned, hearing Casey gripe.

“Like I said…I’m sorry.”

“You need a car
.” He leaned back in his office chair. “I can’t have you showing up late all the time just because your brother is punctually challenged.”

“I can’t afford a car right now. Not everyone gets handed a trust fund.”

“Fine… than I’ll drive you.”

“You can’t-”

“Yes, I can.”

“You don’t-”

“Yes, I do. It’s done. End of discussion.”

I headed back towards the bar, stunned at his impressive knack at succinct debate.

“What just happened?” I asked Mia.

She smirked
, towel drying the glasses hot out of the dishwasher. “I told you.”

The Saturday
lunch crowd was small, but the dinner crowd made up for it. Ricky and the boys were playing tonight instead of their usual Wednesdays, and it seemed like the whole town showed up.

“Joe…I need another burger. Customer says you overcooked this one.” I slid the plate to the other side of the warming shelf.

“Ah, come on!” Joe yelled, plucking the burger off the plate. “I got enough shit going on here!”

I shrugged and loaded my other order on the tray.

“Can’t you flash that sweet smile you got and actually convince these people to eat this shit?”

I hoisted the tray onto my shoulder. “Burger! Please!”

That was my third Saturday working with Joe. I came to hate working Saturdays. He was a friend of Ricky’s that he met through his anger management classes. I wasn’t sure how much Joe actually benefited from them. He was the angriest person I ever met, not to mention his eyes were looser than jello always ogling anything with tits and legs.

I sat the tray of food down, passing the plates to each person. Ricky was up on stage, the sweat beading off of him as he played.
His eyes met mine, and he winked. Before I had time to think I smiled back. How was it that he could be so hot and cold? One minute, he was yelling about the silverware, and the next minute the charm oozed out of him. Whatever it was, I had to stay away. Only a couple more weeks until my promise to myself was over. Ricky was the last guy I needed to get involved with. 

“Miss?”

The sound knocked me back to focus, a plate of food still in my hand. “I’m so sorry,” I said with a smile. I handed over a plate of chicken fingers and fries.