“You. Brought. Me. Back. To. Life. And I’ve never felt more alive than when I am with you. I don’t believe I can explain it any other way. This right here—you and me—just feels right. I haven’t had this in a very long time, and I want to just hold onto you with all my strength. You are not just a reason to forget my past. You, Zoey Steele, are my second chance.”
“Thank you for telling me,” she said as she leaned in to kiss me.
“So you don’t think I’m totally crazy?”
“I totally think you are crazy, but if you want to be crazy in love with me, then that’s the best way to be.”
“I want to make love to you, beautiful girl, but I just can’t…not here, and not before I tell you the reason why we are going to Boston.”
“I’m listening.”
“My meeting with Jack, wasn’t like anything I expected it to be. He shared some information with me about Minela’s murder and who was responsible for it. I didn’t want to believe it, but the proof was placed in my hands. I was so angry that I didn’t trust myself in the car with Jack, I wanted to just make him hurt for showing me the proof. I got out of the car and was raging inside, and that’s when I fell and hit my head on the ice. That’s why I was gone for so freaking long, because I was getting my head stitched up, and my heart torn out…again. The end of the nightmare I’ve been living is in Boston, and I have to face it once and for all, or all the dreams I am imagining with you will never happen if I don’t close the door to my past.”
“Okay.”
“Zoey, you must have questions, something to ask me.”
“Jake, I see the conflict in your eyes. You are not that great at hiding your pain as well as you think you are. I see it, baby, and if I could take it away, I would, but that’s up to you. You do what you have to do, and when it’s over, I will be here waiting for you.”
After our talk, we stayed in bed in each other’s arms, and just listening to Zoey’s heart made me feel complete. She was amazing, supportive, and so accepting of my past. I knew what I would be facing once I stepped off this plane and went to LaRocha with what I knew. After hearing Jack’s story, there was no way I could ever let this go, not even for Minela. She loved her father more than anything and would not want her family hurt, but I owed him nothing. He took her away from me, and I wanted him to tell me why.
By the time we arrived at Boston Logan Airport, it was after midnight. We settled into our suite at the Ritz-Carlton. I drew a bath for Zoey, and then gave her a massage. She endured so much because of Marino, and now I had her flying cross-country to join me on my path of revenge toward LaRocha. After my personal attention to her sweet body, she was asleep before her head hit the pillow. I wanted nothing more than to crawl into bed with her, but I needed to call Duffy and prepare for tomorrow.
“Wake up, beautiful girl.”
I started kissing her on her neck, and then down her naked back. She shifted slightly, but she couldn’t fool me. She was awake and enjoying my morning wake-up call. When I finally reached her delectable mouth, she opened her eyes, and I swear I saw my reflection staring back at me. They were beautiful and sparkling with light.
“God, I love you.”
“How about loving on me for a while?” she sassily asked, knowing I knew she was naked underneath the sheet.
“I wish I could, but I have business to take care of. The sooner I end this, the sooner I can come back for you, and we will begin the first day to the rest of our lives. How does that sound?”
“It sounds perfect. Hurry back.”
“I will, I promise.”
And then I noticed her look slightly unsure. I lifted her chin with my finger to make her look at me.
“Zoey, I can’t leave here until I know you are okay. What’s going on in your mind right now?”
“I’m fine. It’s just the last time you left me in a hotel room…”
She turned away and began to cry. The sight of her crying gutted me. I pulled her onto my lap, where she was straddling me.
“I swear to you, baby, that I am coming back for you. You are perfectly safe here and have nothing to worry about.” She crushed her body to mine, and I could feel her slowly calming down. I needed to finish this with LaRocha and get Zoey out of this fucking city. This was the last place I wanted to be, but there was no turning back now.
An hour later, I was sitting in an unmarked car in front of the LaRocha family home. This would be my first and last time I would ever lay eyes on this house.
“One last time, Jake. Are you sure you want to do this?”
“Duffy, I’ve never been surer in all of my life. You’ve seen the evidence. That motherfucker in there is responsible for his own daughter’s murder. He needs to say it, Duff, and I need to hear it.”
“Jake, we will never be able to charge him for her murder or involvement in her murder. I just don’t see what good can come from this. This knowledge that you now have is from a former mob enforcer that we just cleared in a murder investigation. How the fuck can you even believe this to be true?”
“I see the doubt. Duff, and you have the right to your opinion, but Jack had no reason to lie to me. Why would he? It serves no purpose. I’m not looking to bring him to the justice we have promised to serve to. You can join me in there and show him whatever you want, but I’m not a cop today. This is personal.”
He sat there for a minute, rubbed his fingers through his balding hair, and then let out a deep sigh.
“I’m with you, Jake. You do what you have to do, but know I will step in if I have to. You have suffered enough, and I’m not going to allow you to go down one more dark road, you hear me?”
“I do, and thank you.”
I took a deep breath before I knocked on the door to the brick home. This was an upscale neighborhood in Boston’s Beacon Hill. I looked down the street. All the homes were surrounded by snow-covered landscaping that probably came to life in the spring. Luxury cars were in the driveways, and I just shook my head at it all. No cop would ever be able to afford a home like this on their salary, but a no good, dirty one on the take easily could.
“Jake? Are we doing this?” Duffy asked as he tapped me on my shoulder, bringing me back to the reason why I was here.
“Yeah, we are.”
I knocked hard a couple of times, and a housekeeper answered the door. She wouldn’t know me, and I chose to skip the pleasantries. I showed her my badge, and then Duffy followed suit. She opened the door wider and let us in. The house was disturbingly quiet. I asked if anyone else was in the home, and she said only Mr. LaRocha, who never left his study.
His wife was in a private care facility after suffering a stroke that left her incapacitated. After losing her only daughter, she was never the same, slowly becoming a shell of the once full of life woman.
Fucker!
He lived in this pretentious home with no warmth left to it. This was what blood money buys.
The housekeeper knocked on the study door, and he yelled out for her to go away. I told her to leave us. She turned and scurried off.
I opened the door, and he shouted again, “What are you deaf? I told you to go away!”
He remained in his chair, staring out the window, until he heard my voice. He turned around in shock. The last time we were together was the day we buried Minela.
“Jacob?” He said my name as if he didn’t believe I was real and standing just a few feet away from him. “What…what are you doing here? We haven’t seen or heard from you since…”
“Since…your daughter’s funeral? Where I watched my beautiful fiancée get lowered down into the cold earth.”
“I’m not doing this with you, Jacob. I don’t know why you are here, but you need to get the hell out, right now,” he bellowed back at me.
“I’m afraid I can’t do that, Joe.”
“I have nothing to say to you, or your mute friend standing behind you.”
“Well, I have a few things to say to you, and I am not leaving until I do. So shut the hell up, and don’t interrupt me.”
Duffy took a few steps back and gave me the room I needed. As I looked around the room, my eyes found a picture of Minela in her Boston PD uniform. It looked like it was taken on her graduation day from the academy. She was surrounded by her brothers and parents. She looked so proud of her accomplishment.
“So tell me, Joe, how much blood money paid for this house? The fancy cars? That fucking Rolex on your wrist? I know what you did, and I just want to know why? Why was the once-respected police chief of Boston in bed with the fucking mob? The same dirty business you owed nearly a million dollars to, and when you wouldn’t pay back your debts, they settled another way, right, Joe?”
“Get out! Just leave me alone. How can you come into my home and spew lies about me? I loved her. She was my daughter!”
He threw his glass and slammed his fists down to his desk.
“A daughter that was sacrificed for your fucking gambling addiction! A daughter that was gunned down in the middle of the street, who died in my arms, you cold sonofabitch! I loved her. We were going to be married and would be today if you hadn’t been such a coward. You let her be killed, and then allowed me to believe that somehow it was my fault. How do you live with yourself knowing you are responsible for taking a life, a precious life who had everything to live for, but took the bullet that should have been for you?”
“How do you live with yourself? You tell me why you did this! How could you?” Answer me, dammit! You can’t, can you? Because you are still a coward. You lost your daughter. Your wife is not your wife anymore. She’s nothing but an empty shell. Was it worth it? You get to sit here, day in and day out, drinking your scotch. You don’t get to feel sorry for yourself when she is rotting in the fucking ground because of you. You should be the one, not her.”
He replied, “Don’t you think I would if I could? My beautiful girl…they took her from me.”
“No, you did this. Your greed and damn ambition got her killed. You. Took. Her. Away. From. Me. You took away a living angel! And you never even said you were sorry. I dreamed of this moment since the night she died. I would never stop looking for the person responsible for taking away my precious girl. I knew what I wanted to do but also knew I would have to follow the law and bring her killer to justice. That day never came for me…until today. I have a file full of evidence I could use to bring you down and send you to prison for the rest of your miserable life, but even that would be too good for you. The only justice I could ever live with is to see you dead, but I won’t do it. She loved you. She only wanted you to be proud of her and give us your blessing for our marriage.”
“Stop it, please. I can’t hear no more, please,” he pleaded. He was broken and weak.
I watched him open a locked drawer to his desk. He pulled out a Glock 22 from the side drawer and placed it down in front of him. Duffy’s hand went to his service weapon. I put my hand up to him to keep him at bay. LaRocha shoved the gun closer to me.
Looking directly into my eyes, he said, “Do it! I have nothing to live for. My daughter is dead, and I want to be with her. Do it, Jacob! Have your justice, so I can be with her again. Do it!”
I stepped closer but didn’t touch the gun.
“You will never see Minela again, and do you want to know why that is? Because you are a living form of the devil, and you belong in hell. My beautiful girl’s soul is in heaven, and I pray every single day that she is at peace. And then I thank God for her not being here to see her poor excuse for a father. You are nothing. You deserve nothing. You belong in hell.”
“That’s just it, Jacob, I’m already there,” he said, sobbing.
“Then the next step should be easy. Let’s go, Duffy. We’re done here.”
Duffy looked around the room in confusion and debated silently if we should leave him like this. I was done, and there would be no changing my mind. I had nothing left to say to him and wished never to lay eyes on him again.
I turned away from LaRocha, where he still remained in his chair, behind his desk, staring down to his gun. I walked out first, and then Duffy hesitated once more, but then joined me.
The housekeeper reappeared and showed us out. We were back in my car, and I drove us back to the city. My hands were shaking the whole time.
“Jake, talk to me. Are you okay? That was intense back there.”
“Yeah, it was, but it’s over, Duffy. I meant what I said. I wasn’t going to end his life and give him the peace he was seeking. He lived his life like a coward and will die as a coward. It just won’t be by my hands.”
One week later, I was standing before a review committee, answering questions pertaining to Joseph LaRocha’s fatal suicide. When I left his home, he was alive. His housekeeper stated that when questioned. I explained that I was there for a personal matter and not under the guise of the FBI. I never compromised the position I held or the oath I took. What led me to his door has now been destroyed, and I, along with Duffy, will take it to our graves.
Afterwards, Duffy asked me into his office to have the conversation he had pushed aside in hopes I would change my mind. The answer was clear to me the moment I saw Zoey and the condition she was in. I just wanted out of this life, which was why I was there now. I had already filed my official resignation with my New York field director, and now it was time to say it to Duffy. I placed my badge and my service weapon down on his desk and stepped back with my hands folded behind my back.
“Are you sure about this?” Duffy asked. He had been my mentor since I came up from the NYPD, and he taught me everything I knew about being a cop. He would always be a cop and probably would have to be shoved out the door when his time was up. For me, that time was now.
“Yes, I am. I don’t want this life anymore. It’s ugly, and it holds too many memories that I wish to forget.”
“You had some good ones too, Jake.”
“I know, but it’s not enough for me to stay.”
“You know, Jake, I may have not done what you did back in Boston, but I understand why, and I am so sorry you ever had to go through that. You are my friend, and I will always have your back in any decision you make. Just know that I’m here if you should ever change your mind.”