An Unplanned Life (Unplanned Series) (28 page)

Chapter 64

Dailan

I walked out of court, feeling like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. Nicole’s text back to me, telling me that her test had come back normal just ended the day perfectly. I was just getting into my car to head home when Tommy texted me, asking me to meet him for a drink. I knew why, exactly. I hadn’t talked to him in a few days. I was waiting until Nicole’s sister delivered the news. I called Nicole and told her I where I was going and that I would be home in an hour.

Tommy was standing at the bar with a nervous look on his face when I walked in.

“So, I guess you know already?” he said.

I nodded and smiled. “Congratulations, you’re finally a man!” I joked.

“I don’t know if I’m ready for this. I mean, I really want it. I see you with Ryan and Ella and how happy you are. I just hope that I can be the same way. I’m really nervous; I never thought of myself as being a dad.”

I laughed. “Yeah, well
, you have no choice. You should have thought about that
before
you had sex without using anything.”

“My whole life is going to change, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, it is. But in a good way.” He looked at me like he was waiting for more of an explanation. “When my brother died and I found out that he had given me custody of Ryan, I couldn’t imagine what the hell he was thinking. You knew the person I was before that, Tommy. I was selfish, I liked to party, and I liked my women. My first thoughts were, ‘What the fuck? My life is over.’ But that kid needed me and, in a weird way, I needed him to bring me out of that world that I was living in and help me grow up. I was scared as hell. I didn’t know the first thing about kids or how to raise them, but I couldn’t let Ryan or my brother down. Then I met Nicole – the best thing that ever happened to me, all because of Ryan, and she changed me completely. I’m telling you, Tommy; there is nothing better than watching your child being born. The day Ella was born was the happiest day of my life.”

He looked at me and nodded, like
he was finally getting it. “I want to do the right thing and ask her to marry me, after her divorce is final, of course.”

“Yeah, well
, that would help.”

“So you’re happy with this whole husband and dad thing?” he asked.

“Never been happier.” I was brought back in an instant to the day my life changed forever.

It was the day of my brother
’s and sister-in-law’s funerals. Ryan was understandably a complete mess. He hadn’t really eaten in days and had completely shut down. He never let go of my hand throughout the whole service. Even through his silence, I tried my best to be there for him. Everyone had gone to my brother’s house after the burial. I could see the look of worry on my mother and father’s faces when they looked at Ryan and it was only adding to their sorrow. My heart was torn to shreds as well. Not only was I grieving the loss of my brother and sister-in-law, but I was also battling with the guilt of feeling somewhat responsible for their deaths. It was the secret that I had kept from him, that I was the source of their ultimate demise. My brother’s last words that he had spoken to me had haunted my every thought for the past four days: “'I can't believe my own brother would have kept this from me.” I was a horrible person. He had always been there for me ever since I could remember; whether it was getting me out trouble with my parents when we were younger, teaching me a thing a thing or two about girls during my teenage years, or encouraging me through law school when I felt like I wanted give up on myself. And this was how I repaid him, by keeping an ugly secret from him. I would never be able to apologize or explain my reasoning to him. He was gone. And because of me, Ryan had lost both his parents and was now stuck with a poor excuse for a human being to take care of him. I stared out the window at Ryan, sitting all alone in the backyard, looking like he was a million miles away. I knew I had to pull it together for him. If there was some small way that I could redeem myself with my brother even after his death, I had to do it. I had to make him proud of me and, most of all, I had to be there for Ryan. I loved that kid with all my heart. I took a deep breath and walked outside. Ryan was sitting down on a bench, kicking up the dirt underneath him.

“Hey
, Buddy. Are you okay?”

He didn’t answer
me. He just stared down at the ground and continued to dig his foot into the dirt.

I sat down next to him. “You don’t have to talk. But if you want to, I’ll be here to listen.”

We sat there silently for some time before Ryan looked up at me and began to speak. “My daddy was supposed to take me to the monster truck show on my last day of school. We were going to go out for ice cream first and then go.”

I bit my lip, trying my best to remain unaffected by his tear
-filled eyes. “Well, when is your last day of school?”

“
Wednesday.”

“
Well, how about if me and you go together?”

He looked at me and nodded as the tears gushed from his eyes. I pulled him closer and hugged him tightly. I didn’t want him to see the tears that were burning in my own eyes. “I want my
mommy and daddy back so bad, Uncle D,” he said, having a complete meltdown in my arms.

“I know
, Ryan. I want them back too,” I whispered as I kissed him on the head. I rubbed his back until his sobs subsided. “Listen to me. I promise you that I will be here for you no matter what. I may not be as good at this as your mom and dad; in fact, I know I won’t be. I’m gonna screw up a lot, but maybe we can teach each other along the way. What do you think? Do you think we can do this together?”

He nodded and formed the tiniest of smiles. “I love you
, Uncle D.”

“I love you too, Ryan.”

Chapter
65

Nicole

I was just taking dinner from the oven when Dailan walked through the door. “Perfect timing!” I threw my arms around him and hugged him tightly, feeling very happy for the first time in a long time. “So, is this case really over?” I asked.

“Yeah, unless he decides to appeal it.
Apparently, that douche bag now has control over the company. His father passed away two weeks ago.”

“Oh, he did?” I didn’t know why, but a very small part of me actually felt a little bad for Jonathan and the fact that I hadn’t even acknowledged his father’s death when I had seen him the other day.

“Yeah, so I’m sure he will be appealing.”

“Well, you never know. Maybe he’s changed for the better.”

“Yeah, right,” Dailan said sarcastically.

“Well, I’m just glad to have my husband back.”

“So what did the doctor say?” Dailan asked.

“Everything is fine. So you can cancel that big life insurance policy that you took out on me.”

“What did I tell you about joking around about that?” he said as he kissed me on the forehead. He eyed up the pork chops that I had just taken from the oven, strangely.

“What?” I asked.

“Are you sure you’re not the one that took a life insurance policy on me for after I eat that?”

I slapped him on the arm. “They came out good!”

“Why’s it so quiet in here?” he asked.

I took him by the hand and led him into the living room. Ryan and Ella were sound asleep together on the big blanket that Ryan had spread across the floor.

“Rough day?” Dailan asked.

“Apparently.
They’re going to be so close, just like me and my brother were,” I said.

“As long as Ryan keeps the boys away from her
, that’s all that matters,” Dailan joked.

“Oh
, Dailan, I think your dad is right; that’s going to be your payback.”

“Hey, they’re both asleep
, so you know what that means?”

“No, what?”

“You and me in the bedroom.”

“Dailan, dinner is ready and they’re going to be up in a few minutes.”

“I only need a few minutes.” He picked me up just as Ella lifted her head and a huge smile stretched across her face. She screeched in delight at the sight of Dailan. Ryan began to stir as well at the sound of Ella’s voice. I laughed at the look on Dailan’s face. He put me down and I whispered in his ear. “Don’t be upset; you still have my delicious pork chops to look forward to.”

I went out to the mailbox after dinner. I hadn’t checked the mail all day and was on the lookout for a package that Dailan’s mother had said that she sent. I quickly scoured through the mail to find nothing of interest, until I came across a letter with just my first name written on it
; no address and no postage. Clearly, it had just been placed in the mailbox by the sender. I sat down on the front porch and tore it open.

Dear Nicole,

I’m sending you this letter as a long overdue apology for what I did to you years ago and how I handled the situation. I know that you probably don’t want to hear it, but I feel like it needs to be said so I can somehow absolve my own guilt.

When I looked into Ryan’s eyes that
day at Berks Pond, something happened to me. I was looking at this little boy who was my own flesh and blood, yet he was a total stranger to me. Just seeing him for that very brief time made me realize what a selfish person I have been my whole life. I always put myself and my own feelings before others. When I looked at him, I realized that maybe once in my life I actually did something good.

I
’m going back to Denver and I promise that I will not have any contact with him, but please know that I will be here for him if he ever needs anything. You can also tell your husband that I have no intentions of appealing the case. That was my dad’s fight, which he had taken on, and now that he’s gone, I want to put his battles to rest. You are a good person, Nicole. You are beautiful, inside and out. Thank you for allowing me that moment with him; it’s one that I will cherish for the rest of my life.

~ Jonathan

I smiled, letting out a huge sigh of relief while tears of happiness streamed down my face. It was over. I accomplished something that years of therapy were unable to do. I had confronted my past, a past that I had tried so desperately to forget, even though I wouldn’t go back and change it for anything. I knew that the day would come when Ryan would want to know who his real father was and when that time came, I would be honest and open with him about it. I folded the letter and placed it back in the envelope.

I tried wiping the tears from my eyes when I heard the front door open. “Hey, we’re getting ready-” Dailan stopped talking when I looked up at him with
tear-filled eyes. “What’s the matter?” He came outside and sat down next to me. I handed him the letter and he carefully read it over.

“He changed
, Dailan, all because of Ryan.” I leaned my head on his shoulder and closed my eyes, feeling very blessed. “I think we have lots to celebrate tonight, after Ryan and Ella are asleep,” I said as I lifted my head off his shoulder and smiled.

He kissed me on my head and pulled me on his lap. “You know
, if it wasn’t for Ryan, you and I wouldn’t be sitting here right now. Ella wouldn’t be here and Tommy wouldn’t be freaking out over the thought of being a dad.”

“Nope, life would be a lot different, wouldn’t it?” He nodded. “Lucky for you,
Ryan is here!” I joked.

“Yeah, I am very lucky,” he replied
, sounding much more serious. “Your unplanned life changed my life and made it so much better.”

“Aw, you can be sweet when you want to be!” I ran my thumb along the scruff on his face and kissed him gently on the lips.

“Just remember that tonight, when we’re celebrating,” he joked.

“Um, Ella needs her diaper changed!” Ryan said
, standing in the doorway and holding his nose.

“Talk about a mood killer,” Dailan whispered in my ear. I smacked him lightly on the arm and started to get up. “I got it,” he said, getting up and heading into the house. “Come on
, Ryan, I think it’s time you learned how to change a diaper,” Dailan said.

“Eeew
! Heck no!” Ryan said as he came outside and sat down next to me on the step.

“Wimp!
” Dailan said, closing the door behind him.

“Do you have any clue how special you are?” I asked Ryan.

“No.”

“Well
, you are. I love you so much, Ryan.”

“I love you too.”

I wrapped my arms around him and kissed him on the head, instantly being brought back to the darkest day of my life, the day I had given him up without even holding him. I knew that this was my moment, the moment I had never been given with my baby boy all those years ago. He let me continue to squeeze him and didn’t question the tears that were rolling down my face. “As long as I’m living, my baby you’ll be,” I whispered in his ear.

Sometimes the best things in life are those that aren’t planned. Ryan was the perfect example of that.
Never once did I regret the choice I had made. My sweet little boy was born for a reason and I knew now more than ever what that reason was:  He was the bridge that connected my past to my present, the bridge that led me to Dailan, and most of all, the bridge that took me on my greatest journey - the one to my heart.