Authors: Dawne Walters
Addie looked up at her computer, and logged into her Yahoo email. She replied to one of Tracy’s emails and asked if Conrad was still in Italy or if he had moved to the states. She left the email open. It didn’t take long to get a reply. The words ‘call me’ and an overseas number was all that it read. Addie put the number in her cell phone and waited to hit send when Liz came in to say that no one saw who dropped off the pink roses. Verna knew, but amazingly enough couldn’t remember what the guy looked like.
“I have to make a phone call.” Addie said dazed.
“I’ll be right out at my desk if you need anything.” Liz pulled the chair back in front of the desk and stepped out as Addie hit send on her phone.
“Hello?”
“Tracy. It’s Addie.”
“Oh Addie!” Tracy sounded genuine. “I’m glad you called.”
“Where is he Tracy? Where’s Conrad?” Addie was all business. She had to be or she’d break down crying.
“He’s going to Polk. He left three weeks ago.”
“He’s here then.”
“He took thirty days leave. He’s probably still in Pennsylvania.”
“No. I got a few dozen pink roses and a CD with all of my favorite songs that he’d play on it.”
“Oh.” Tracy was shocked.
“Songs that suggest he…he.” Addie couldn’t finish her sentence.
“Addie that’s fabul…”
“No. It’s not.” Addie cut Tracy off. “I’m still not over him Tracy? Do you know how badly he hurt me?”
Addie waited for a moment to collect herself before continuing, “He couldn’t even write me an email. An email! Tracy, just because he’s here, doesn’t mean I’m going to him when he wants me. I can’t. Because when it’s time for him to leave, he’ll just hurt me all over again. And the longer he’s in my life, the more I’ll get hurt.”
“Addie, you can’t mean that. Surely, you can’t.” Tracy pleaded, “He was a mess after you left. A complete and utter mess. He always asked me what you posted up on your Facebook after you had deleted and blocked him. He always asked if I’d heard from you. Cal and Nathan pulled him into the office and talked to him because of how he felt for you and took it out on everyone around him because he was miserable. Cal saw it. I saw it. Nathan saw it.” Tracy explained.
“Oh right. He was such a mess. He was such a mess that he couldn’t phone me from Italy to tell me that he missed me. He was such a mess that…that he probably fucked that Steph chick. I saw all of the sexual banter on Facebook before I deleted him.” Addie fell silent for a moment.
Tracy was stunned. This certainly wasn’t the Conrad Renner that she had known. This wasn’t the Conrad Renner that she saw after Addie left either. “Addie, I’m so…”
“Don’t you dare say you are sorry. I pushed him in a way. You know…I went there…and when he kissed me again…everything changed Tracy. Everything. I was so…so envious of all the women that he had before me. I knew that I’d only have those ten days. Just me and Conrad…pretending. So in a way I guess I let myself get hurt. I opened up to it. But then he said he really liked what we had, that he could get used to having someone around. And stupidly…I…I believed him. “
“Addie, don’t do this to yourself. If he didn’t want anything with you, he could have said no. He could have stood up for himself.” Addie choked on a sob. “Nathan said Conrad couldn’t go through with having sex with the women at the strip clubs. He just sat there and drank. Drank to try to forget you. But in the end he couldn’t even do that. Addie, Conrad got so drunk one night, Cal had to go get him and brought him here to our apartment. It was a month and a half after you left. Do you not remember me telling you that? You knowwhat he told me Addie?”
Addie couldn’t say anything. She shook her head.
“He told me that he couldn’t change the bed sheets because they smelled like you. He slept on the pillow you slept on because it smelled like you. He left your tea mug on the counter. The one that you used over and over again. It was clean, but he said he just couldn’t move it. It was like you had died or something. Does that sound like someone who doesn’t care?” Tracy’s tone wasn’t upset or mad. It was almost pleading. “He needs you girl.”
“I can’t believe that.” Addie said wiping a tear. “Because he only said that when he was drunk.”
“Well, believe it.” Tracy said. “It happened. He broke down in my bathroom, barfing his guts out while he told me that. “
“He was drunk off his ass though.” Addie reiterated again.
“Yes, he was. But the pain on his face when he spoke of not being able to change the bed sheets and sleeping on your pillow just stabbed me in the heart. Even Cal couldn’t help getting teary eyed because of how his friend felt.” Tracy paused. “But I guess Cal is the exception. That’s why I fell in love with him.”
“You’re lucky.” Addie said quietly.
“So are you.”
There was nothing but open phone for a few moments when Tracy was the first one to speak again. “Cal and I are coming to Fort Polk in about six months. I can’t wait to see you again.”
“Well, it’ll be like a little reunion for you guys then. Nathan will be here tonight. He emailed and then followed up with a phone call to say he switched assignments to come here because he wanted to be with his boys. Or something like that. But anyway, he’s going to stay with me for a while.”
“Oh that’s fabulous.” Tracy said enthusiastically. “I am really looking forward to coming now. All three of you…Conrad and Nathan, and you. It’ll make having this baby so much easier.”
“You’re pregnant?” Addie was stunned but happy. “Congratulations.”
Tracy was pregnant, had the love of her life, and was coming to Fort Polk to be with a lot of their friends. Addie had to admit that at this moment, she’d do anything to be in her place.
“Well, I’ll email you sometime this weekend Trace. I have to get back to work. Will that be okay?”
“I’d love it.” Tracy said with genuine excitement. “I’ll talk to you later. And Addie…go easy on Conrad. He’s hurting.”
“Well he has a crazy way of showing it. That’s one hell of a defense mechanism.” Addie took a deep breath. “Thanks Tracy…for…for taking the time to tell me. I appreciate it.”
“You’ve become a good friend Addie. In such a short time. I’ll catch you later.” And then Tracy hung up.
Addie dropped her phone from her hand and rested her head in her hands. What the fuck was she supposed to do now? Rubbing the palms of her hands in her eyes, she sat back and opened the top drawer of her desk and pulled out the pictures of Conrad.
She smiled as she looked at the pictures. It had been only a few months, but God it felt like years. She hadn’t told him that she was here at Polk. Tracy and Nathan didn’t tell her that he was here at Polk. Everyone knew how devastated she was when everything went down. She’d blocked him from her Facebook, email and even her phone. Not that she thought that it would matter. He had Steph and Lisa to entertain him, so he wouldn’t have time for Addie.
Tossing the pictures in the box beside her desk, she put the roses on the table that she had by the window and pushed the arrangement that Jim had given her on the corner of her desk. She took both little cards and threw them in the trash and pulled the CD out of the drive and put it back in its envelope and tossed it in the box as well.
She shut down her computer and pulled her CAC card from the keyboard and made her way out of her office. Pulling the door shut, she stood waiting for Liz to get off the phone.
“If ah…if any of you ladies want the flowers, help yourselves.” Addie sighed.
“Whoa!” Liz spun around in her chair. “Don’t you want to take them home? Come on, I’ll help you take them to your car.” She stood and motioned for Addie to open the door.
“Nah, not really. I don’t want a reminder of what I had with Conrad and yet another reminder of what Jim wants.” Addie shrugged her shoulders.
Liz sat back down. “Well, when you put it that way…” What more could she say.
“I’ll see you on Monday.” Addie said and left.
Conrad pulled into the apartment complex right before Nathan did. Whether it was good timing or divine intervention, he’d take it. When Nathan had told him that he was going to stay with Addie for a little while, Conrad about threw a gasket and a half.
“Absofuckinlutely not!” He sliced the air in front of him. “You’ll get your shit and put it in the second bedroom of my apartment and stay there.”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa.” Nathan put his hands up in a gesture to calm Conrad down. “She invited me. But if you are adamant about it, I’ll move into your second bedroom.”
“I’m trying to fix things. Okay?” Conrad said annoyed. “Now get your shit and let’s go.”
Nathan backed his car up next to Conrad’s truck and the new roommates moved in. As luck would have it, the apartment complex had a cable guy that lived on the premises and was able to come over and hook up their cable and internet. Conrad had already switched everything over that morning before he checked out of the hotel.
“When are you supposed to get your shit?” Nathan asked setting up a camping chair on the deck.
“Next week. Why?” Conrad asked, setting up the other camping chair and sat down with a beer in his hand.
“Because over here, I have to sleep on the floor. If I was at Addie’s, I’d be in a soft bed.” Nathan looked at Conrad pointedly.
“Listen fucker.” Conrad pointed at Nathan with his beer. “I have to fix shit with her first.”
“Yeah. Good luck with that.”
The two friends stayed on the porch and talked. Since Nathan knew that Conrad didn’t know that Addie had gotten a new car, he asked how he was going to surprise her.
“Just walk up to her.” Conrad answered. “I delivered flowers to her work last night with a CD of songs that we used to play when we were in Italy.”
“Well, here’s your chance.” Nathan pointed with his chin at the black Mustang GT that pulled into a parking spot.
“That’s her car?” Conrad asked shocked.
“Yep. She posted this really cool picture on Facebook too. She was wearing a black dress with red heels. It was fucking bonerific.” Nathan teased Conrad.
“Shut up.” Conrad watched as Addie got out of the car with her purse and closed the door. Then she made her way up to her apartment without even so much as looking around. “Holy shit. Situational awareness isn’t her strong suit apparently.”
“She’s a chick. She isn’t expecting the guy she wanted to dump her without word to be living across from her.” Nathan took Conrad’s beer and received a ‘what the fuck’ look in return. “What? You aren’t going to need it. I think this may be something you might just want to do sober.”
“Fuck.” Conrad muttered as he walked back into his apartment.
Heading towards the front door, he heard Nathan call out. If you two make up and get to sleep in Addie’s bed, then I’m going to sleep in the guest room.”
“Whatever.” Conrad said as he opened the door and made his way down the stairs and across the parking lot. He looked over at Nathan who had propped his feet up on the railing drinking his beer. Shaking his head, he made his way up the stairs to Addie’s apartment when he heard her voice.