“Well,
either I was completely oblivious, or you two did an amazing job
hiding this from me when you were both here over a month ago!”
I chuckle.
“Oh,
honey, you were so out of it!” Caroline laughs.
“Newborn-induced
sleep deprivation will do that to you!”
“For
the record, I told her she should tell you a long time ago,”
Tyler says in his defense as he draws the two of us to his side.
“I’ll
give you half credit for effort,” I tease. “Does Will
know you’re in town, Care?”
“Nah.
It really was all last minute,” Tyler begins. “Caroline
ended up with a few days off and I was able to rearrange some
meetings at the bank so I could see her. I’m supposed to go to
New York in a couple of weeks when she’s there, so this is
bonus time.” Tyler smiles brighter than I’ve ever seen
him smile as he kisses Caroline on the temple. That’s all it
takes for me to know that their relationship isn’t going to be
a flash in the pan. This is real and I have a feeling I’ll be
picking out bridesmaid dresses with Caroline before I know it.
“So,
you didn’t come over just to bust us. What’s up?”
Caroline asks.
“Oh,
your mom and I are working on a new initiative at the agency. Just
thought I’d stop by and touch base with her on it. I mean, now
that the girls are sleeping well both at night and during the day,”
I tell her.
“Nothing
like a good night’s sleep to make you feel like you can take on
the world!” Mrs. Jackson says as she descends the staircase
next to us.
“I
know, right, Mrs. Jackson!” I agree.
“Just
as long as you’re not going to do too much, Layla. You want to
be sure to take time for yourself while those little ones are
napping. Especially when they start getting mobile here in a few
months. They’ll be scooting all over the place before you know
it! And please, Layla, we’ve worked together enough for you to
call me Carol. You’re not in high school anymore.” She
cocks her head to the side and gives me a look that reminds me of
just how many times she’s told me this.
Mrs.
Jackson—Carol—and I have worked closely together over the
last few years as she was quite connected to the agency where I was
working before the twins came. She did some contract counseling with
some of our more emotionally scarred clients, many of whom were like
me: present when their parents died. And, of course, I worked closely
with Carol as she started her own agency.
“Yes,
of course … Carol.” I smile apologetically with a
telekinetic promise to try to remember next time. “Really, this
will
be me time. I’m four months in and, even though Will has been
home seventy-five percent of the time, I fully recognize my need for
adult conversation. I asked mom to read off her grocery list to me
last week, so, yeah.”
That
probably sounded worse than it was, but that was an especially hard
day. While Will has usually just gone into the office for a couple of
hours after the girls ate, he ended up being gone all day. Six hours.
I managed fine with the twins on my own, but I hadn’t realized
until then just how much I valued speaking in complete, coherent
sentences.
“I
know it’s been twenty-five years, but I haven’t forgotten
those days!” Carol laughs. “Well, I’m sure we can
come up with a schedule that works well for you. I’d love to
chat with you more, but we’re about to head out. I see that
you’ve stumbled upon our little secret here. I’m so glad!
It was exhausting keeping this from you!”
“Yes,
she’s in the know now, mother. Layla has forgiven us, so let’s
not remind her of how in the dark she was!” Caroline gently
shoves her mother toward the foyer table so she can retrieve her
purse, with Carol laughing out her protest with every step.
“All
right! All right!” Carol relents. “Can we talk next week,
Layla?”
“Of
course! I was just on my way to do some shopping and meet the moms
for lunch. I’ll be around next week, so just let me know when
is good for you!” I adjust the strap of my purse across my body
and move toward the door. “Now that I know, please come over
and see me … both of you! Maybe dinner before you have to go
back to L.A.?”
“Definitely!”
Caroline says as she hugs my neck. It makes me miss her. She’s
in such high demand now that she’s decorated the homes of some
of Hollywood’s hottest. She hardly ever gets to come home to
visit, and I guess when she has, she’s come to see Tyler.
We
all exit at the same time, hugging before I split from them. I watch
the three of them file into Carol’s car as I click my seatbelt
into place.
“Caroline
and Tyler,” I say with a sigh. It really is wonderful. Perfect,
really. I shake my head, thinking of what else awaits me today. What
isn’t perfect is the conversation I’m about to have with
Mom and Eliana.
I
pass through the second turn-about on my way to meet Mom and Eliana
for lunch. We’re meeting at Campania, the same place Will and I
had our wedding reception. Until the babies were born we tried to
meet once a week. Since then, the moms have occasionally brought
lunch or dinner over, and a couple of times they had Vinnie put
together a sampler of my and Will’s favorites.
Walking
in, I’m greeting by the same warm atmosphere I always have, and
I’m reminded of just how much I love this place. I remember the
first time Will brought me here after our Day of Nothing. It was a
stressful time in our lives, but the journey was worth the
destination.
Mom
and Eliana are already seated when I pass through the
velvet-curtained doorway but jump to their feet when they see me.
Their faces shine brightly with joy as they extend their arms to hug
me. They don’t even wait for me to meet them at the table. I’m
quickly accosted in the middle of the room. Fortunately there are
only four other parties dining during this non-rush hour in the
middle of the week, all of whom are seated on the other side of the
room.
“Layla,
honey, you look wonderful!” Mom says as her arms wrap tightly
around me.
“Yes!
Just beautiful!” Eliana agrees.
“Bathing
will do that for you.” I laugh as I hug them both fiercely. We
sit and our server, Stacey, immediately brings me a diet cola with
limes. “Oh, I love you!” I say to all three of them. I
take a long draw through the straw and sigh.
“Are
you all ready or do you need a few minutes?” she asks.
“I’m
going to need a minute, if that’s okay?” I tell her.
“Sure.
I’ll be back in a few!”
I
peruse the menu as if I’ve never seen it before. I don’t
want to miss it if Vinnie has added something to his repertoire.
After a first run down the page, I realize it wouldn’t matter
anyway because all I want is a Caprese Panini with a spring salad.
“That’s
what you get every time!” Mom teases.
“I
know, but it’s just so good!” I laugh.
Stacey
takes our orders and we adjust in our seats as we settle in to wait
for our meals to be made fresh.
“We
have gifts!” Eliana says, dragging two gift bags from their
hiding place under the table. Each bag is identical, as I’m
anticipating the gifts inside will be.
“You
really shouldn’t have! As if you all didn’t already go
overboard with them at Christmas, and they were only six weeks old!
The girls can’t even sit up yet and they’re already
better dressed than I ever have been! They are so spoiled!” I
pull the tissue paper out of the bag and fold it neatly. I’ve
got quite a stash of tissue paper and gift bags stored away in my
closet to use for future gifts for the girls.
I
unwrap the tissue and find the most ridiculously adorable tights with
ruffles on the bottom and the tiniest pairs of black patent shoes. We
give a collective “aww” and I smile from ear to ear. The
next bag has two dresses that are certain to make Natalie and Claire
look like princesses. I’m pleasantly surprised to find that one
is pink and one is white. I know they don’t have a clue right
now, but I want to try and avoid matching every single outfit they
wear. It will be important for them to have their own identity.
“You
two really are too much! Thank you!” I say with a broad smile.
“They’re
size six months so they’ll have time to grow into them. Are
they still in zero to three months?” Eliana asks.
As
we expected, the twins were early and therefore pretty tiny when they
were born. Natalie was five pounds, two ounces, and Claire was five
pounds, four ounces. Good sizes for twins born at thirty-six weeks,
but still so small.
“Mostly,
but I’ve started pulling out a few three to six months. They
seem to swim in them, but they’ll get there. Thank you, again.”
I pack the gifts back into one bag and put all the folded tissue in
the other and set them next to me on the floor. When I sit up there
is a small square box sitting on the table before me. Mom and Eliana
are wearing face-splitting grins. I cock a suspicious eye up and
immediately refuse the gift.
“The
girls do not need jewelry, too! I know you love them, but really,
moms, I have to draw the line somewhere.” I say it as sugary
sweet as I can. I don’t want to hurt their feelings but there
has to be a limit. I figured I should set it now while the girls have
no clue. If I wait until they’re aware, Will and I will be in
big trouble.
“It’s
not for the girls. It’s for you.” Mom smiles that sweet,
Claire smile of hers, making me want to cry even before I see what it
is.
I
pull the small, velvet jewelry box out of the slightly larger box it
is nestled in and creak the top open. With my free hand I cover my
mouth in shock while tears fill my eyes and overflow.
“Oh,
mom,” I breathe out only slightly above a whisper. Cushioned
inside the box is a necklace almost identical to the one I gave
Claire our first Christmas together. Strung neatly on the silver
chain are four beads, each representing my own little family by our
birthstones: topaz for Natalie & Claire, alexandrite for me, and
tanzanite for Will.
I
want to speak, but my heart is in my throat and I can’t seem to
catch my breath. I am completely and utterly overwhelmed.
“I
… this is,” I begin but the words get tangled up in my
effort to keep from bawling right there in the middle of the
restaurant. So I stand and round the table where Claire stands to
meet me. My arms wrap around her like a vice. I bury my face into her
neck and let out a few sobs of pure joy before composing myself
enough to speak.
“I
love it, Mom. Thank you so much.”
“Now
you have an idea of what I felt that Christmas morning.” She
moves her collar and reveals the necklace I gave her all those years
ago now. Luke has added more beads over the years, but centered among
all of them are the birthstone charms I started the piece with.
Eliana
wipes the tears that have fallen from her eyes as she smiles at us
brightly.
“There
was a time my tears would have been from a place of sadness for
thinking I would go the rest of my life without having what your
family has, Claire. Who would have thought I would get to be a part
of it one day? Now my tears are from utter joy,” Eliana says
before she hugs us.
The
three of us stand there in a group hug and I can’t help but
giggle at how silly we must look to the restaurant patrons. It makes
me so happy to see how far Eliana has come since I met her. Her
relationship with Wes has been wonderful for her personal growth.
She’s strong now and readily expresses her feelings …
all of them!
We
take our places at the table just in time as Stacey approaches with
our lunches. And before I can ask, Stacey takes my empty glass and
tells me she’ll return with a new drink in a minute.
“So,
Layla, you said you had something you wanted to talk to us about. Is
everything okay?” Mom asks before she takes the first bite of
her salad.
I
look at both her and Eliana and twist my mouth to the side,
considering where to start. It was just a few days ago when Rachel
Meadows came to see me. I had no idea who she was from her name
alone. But when she told me Michael Meadows, Will’s brother,
was her husband, my heart raced.
The
last—and only—time we saw Michael, he made it abundantly
clear that he was not interested in developing a relationship with
Will. He said his piece and walked out of our lives. We had heard
from his mother Victoria that he got married, but it was really just
a passing comment one time when we had Will’s extended family
over for dinner a few years ago. It’s been a process, but we’ve
come to have a really good relationship with Will’s
half-siblings and their mothers. Some are closer than others, but
it’s all wonderful.
Rachel
must have been watching the house to wait for Will to leave that day
because no sooner had he pulled out of the driveway than Rachel was
ringing the doorbell. I invited her in, and after I poured her a cup
of coffee she explained why she had come to see me.
“Michael
is sick,” she began. “Really sick.”
“I’m
so sorry. Do they know what’s wrong?”
“He
has cancer. Pancreatic cancer.” My heart sank as she moved her
coffee from one hand to the other and then back again. I couldn’t
imagine facing that with Will.
“Oh,
Rachel. I’m so sorry.” I didn’t really know what to
say. I didn’t know this woman at all and there she was, sitting
in my living room, telling me that her husband had cancer and was
going to die.
“Can
I ask why you’re here telling me this?” I posed.
“Well,
first off, Michael doesn’t know I’m here. In fact, I
think he’d be pretty upset if he knew. He even swore his mother
to secrecy because I think he knew she’d tell Will,” she
said. “But, um … the hospital bills …”