Authors: Tracey Hoffmann
Bruno’s head leaned further into her knee.
Mia laughed and hugged him. It was easy to love him. He expected nothing from her and gave back freely.
Her eyes misted and she sighed. Would she ever get to the place where she could expose her heart to a man? What about David, did she trust him? She felt okay being alone with him, but did she trust him?
David had never done anything to threaten her, but if he was interested in her as a woman rather than just a friend, what then?
Bruno lunged to his feet and sped to the door before the buzzer went off.
As Mia followed him she could see his excitement as he barked and spun around in circles. He knew David was on the other side of the door, so obviously Bruno trusted David.
She flicked the catch open and stood back as David was swamped by the big dog.
He grinned at her and dropped to the floor where he wrestled with Bruno, putting both arms around his neck and shaking him. The dog loved it and Mia enjoyed watching the reunion.
David laughed as he stood up. “Oh to be so loved! Mia, it’s good to see you, obviously Bruno isn’t any the worse for wear.”
Mia smiled and looked at her feet, shyness overcoming her.
“If you’re ready, we’ll go. I thought we could drive to North Entrance and walk that stretch of beach for a change. How does that sound? You’re allowed to let dogs run free there.”
“I’ll grab my hat. Bruno’s lead is hanging on the hook by the door.” Mia moved over to the table where she’d put her sun hat earlier. Picking it up, she turned and saw David standing in the same spot studying her.
Their eyes met and he didn’t look away. Mia felt breathless and nervous.
“Are you ready, Mia?”
“I’m not really sure.” Mia puzzled over her answer and shook her head as if to clear her mind.
Moving towards him, she smiled slightly and opened the door to indicate that yes she was ready for their walk, but about what else might occur between them, she wasn’t so sure.
~~~
David released Bruno from his lead and wanted to pick up Mia’s hand as they strolled towards the water. He flexed his fingers and pushed them into his pockets to stop acting on the impulse.
Tilting his head he glanced at her, and marveled how he felt. She was a picture he wanted to paint on his mind forever.
Shaking his head he turned and scanned the beach for a place to sit. A large wooden log had drifted into the perfect position to create a great seat for anyone who wanted to sit and look out at the ocean.
Indicating the log he said, “Let’s sit here for a while. I’ll give Bruno a whistle to let him know we’ve stopped.”
David put his fingers in his mouth and signaled to Bruno. The dog stopped and looked back. David watched him sniff seaweed at the water’s edge and knew Bruno would roll in the smelly seaweed and be covered in sand and salt.
Mia leaned over and idly ran her fingers through the sand.
“David, something happened which made me feel really sad. I didn’t think I would ever be able to recover but—God spoke to me.”
David lifted his eyebrows in question. “What do you mean God spoke to you?”
Mia continued in the same matter of fact voice that puzzled David.
“He said, ‘Come to me’, so I did. I can’t believe how simple it was, I talked with God. I know Jesus loves me,” her lips curved in a small smile.”
David assessed her face. She looked tranquil, soft and there was an openness in her expression he hadn’t seen before.
Picking up her hand he gently rubbed his thumb over the soft skin.
His eyes flooded and he unashamedly cried.
Mia looked at their hands and he felt her fingers tense, then relax.
“Mia, I’m so—thankful.” He swiped at his tears and laughed. His heart pounded as the meaning of her decision flooded his mind.
She was saved.
“Can you tell me everything? What happened to make you sad?” His eyes pleaded with her to tell him.
“I remembered my father had done things to me he shouldn’t have.” Mia gasped when she realized what she’d said.
Pulling her hand free she leaped to her feet.
David squinted and it seemed like the sun’s brightness had intensified.
Mia was shuffling her feet through the sand, and he knew she was poised to bolt at any moment like a frightened deer.
She didn’t look up as she spoke and David’s chest tightened.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to tell you. Look, do you think we can go?” she begged.
David’s heart raced as he watched her, willing her to turn back to him. What did she mean by her statement? What had her father done? He didn’t want to believe she’d been hurt by the one person who was meant to protect her.
Raking his hand through his hair, he stood and walked to the water’s edge.
Anger was building within him and he felt his face heat. How could her father hurt her? How dare he hurt her?
He felt her hand softly touch his arm.
“David, are you all right?” Mia’s voice sounded anxious and he realized he’d allowed himself to let his thoughts move from her to her father.
Taking a calming breath he turned to her. “I don’t know what your father did. I can only guess. Sweetheart, I’m so sorry.”
His eyes held her captive and he allowed his hands to hang loosely at his side.
Mia watched him and briefly closed her eyes.
David’s mouth softened. She seemed so small and fragile.
“I don’t know if it’s the right time to tell you, but I care about you. It kills me to know you’ve been hurt in this way.”
“I—I thought if you knew you’d be disgusted by me,” she whispered.
His arms ached to hold her, to shelter her from further harm. He brushed a tear from her cheek and shook his head.
“Never think that. You could never disgust me, you’re a beautiful person. I’m sorry you had to go through that, but I’m pleased you had that conversation with Jesus Christ.”
She wrung her hands and her gaze shifted.
How could he show her she could trust him? He felt the importance of not doing anything that would rush or confuse her.
He turned and called Bruno.
Once he’d hooked Bruno’s collar he handed the lead to Mia and they walked up the beach to the car.
They traveled in silence most of the way home and when David pulled up in front of Mia’s house she turned and placed her hand on his arm.
“Thank you for not pushing me for more information.”
She opened the car door then swiveled around. “Are you coming in to get Bruno’s bed and the rest of his gear?”
David noted the tilt of her chin and the steely control she had over herself. He ignored her question, got out of the car and opened the back door for Bruno.
David’s lips twitched in the beginning of a smile as Mia bent to say goodbye to Bruno.
He whistled a special note and Bruno immediately leaped to his side.
That Mia was annoyed he’d interrupted her goodbye was evident by the way she crossed her arms and glared at him.
“Bruno, you know I love you, but I have a job for you. You see, Mia is very special to me and if I could I would stay here with her, just to make sure she’s okay, but somehow I think she wouldn’t be too happy about that.”
Bruno nudged him with his salty paw.
“How do you feel about staying here with Mia for a while?” Pausing, his eyes questioned Mia. David smiled and continued, “I can come and visit you and it would make me feel a lot happier knowing she wasn’t on her own right now. What do you say?”
Bruno turned his head and looked at Mia as if he had understood.
Mia licked her lips and he watched her blink back her tears. “You’d let Bruno stay here with me?”
David nodded.
“Why, David?” She looked uncertain.
“I know you’re okay on your own, but for now can you humor me, let him stay with you? I think I would sleep a whole lot better knowing Bruno is lying on the floor by your bed.”
Trying desperately to get his point across, David pointed to Bruno. “Look, he already loves you, and if it helps, it’s no great sacrifice to him.”
Mia’s eyes flooded and she walked into David’s arms and hugged him.
He gently held her while she cried.
“I don’t know what to say. Thank you so much. I promise to give him back, but right now it would be a great help having him with me.”
“You don’t need to say anything, it’s okay—it’s what I want to do. I think I’ll go and let you get inside. I’ll talk to you later.”
David walked around his car, got in and drove off, leaving a stunned Mia.
Chapter 17
The churning in his stomach caused Jonathan to bend over. How long had it been since he’d seen Mia? Jonathan paced and gripped his side.
What a waste of time going to the doctor had been—of course he was stressed, who wouldn’t be? The more time he spent with Judy the more impossible it became.
He hated it. What was with her anyway, always talking in riddles? Jonathan was sure things were going to explode around him.
Why did Margaret have to go and die? Things had been so much better when she was alive, and now everything had gone haywire.
He’d call Mia and ask her to come around. She’d never been this distant from him before. The pain in his stomach intensified and Jonathan grimaced.
Could she be remembering what he’d done to her? Surely she’d have said something.
I will bring hidden things to light.
Standing completely still, Jonathan shivered. Where had that thought come from? This was ridiculous; he had nothing to be ashamed of. Okay, maybe in the past, but the past was the past and it didn’t affect him now.
Picking up the phone he dialed Mia’s home number and waited for her to answer. The phone rang until her voice came on asking the caller to leave a message. Jonathan hung up and dialed her mobile number.
Why didn’t she pick up? Had she seen his number and decided to ignore the call? His fingers shook as he replaced the phone.
His hand moved to rub his stomach and his head slumped.
If Margaret were here she’d know what to do.
~~~
The missed call disturbed Mia. What was she going to do about her father? Did she want to confront him? What would this achieve? When she thought of talking to him she felt something grip her, something that wanted revenge.
Disgust brought a foul taste to her mouth and she swallowed. Four weeks of counseling and she still felt lost.
Jesus, I’m struggling here. Yesterday I raised my voice at Uncle Robert and the look of sadness on his face just about destroyed me.
My smile feels false and my sense of humor seems a thing of the past. I feel like punching something and screaming at the top of my voice.
Mia shuddered as she recalled the words her counselor had challenged her with. ‘Unforgiveness is like a cancer, infiltrating your body, poisoning every cell until it’s consumes you.’
Panic gripped her. Did she want to be a bitter woman, obsessed with anger and hatred?
What if she never laughed again? But how could she ever trust him?
Rummaging through her bag she found the piece of paper she’d scribbled on.
‘You can forgive and not trust. Imagine someone smashes your knee with a hammer. You have surgery and lots of physiotherapy to get the knee working again. This person then comes to you and asks for forgiveness. You forgive them. One day you’re with them and you see they have a hammer in their hand. What will you do?’
Mia straightened as understanding flooded her.
Forgiveness didn’t mean placing yourself in a place of danger. She had a choice whether she allowed her father to be involved in her life. Forgiving him didn’t mean she had to trust him. Trust was earned.
Exhausted, Mia collapsed on her bed. She closed her eyes and told her shoulders to relax.
What about David? She liked him. But what if their relationship got serious, what if she allowed herself to fall in love with him? What if they got married and had a daughter?
Her mother hadn’t been able to keep her safe. Would she be any different?
She squeezed her pillow as a jolt of fear moved through her.
Flinging the pillow across the room she jumped up and moved across the room to gaze in the mirror.
What she saw made her angry. The shadows under her eyes spoke of long sleepless nights. Now she was allowing fear to tell her all men were dangerous.
Gripping the dresser she spoke to her reflection. “I will not let what happened to me sabotage the rest of my life. David is not like my father, he’s a good man and he cares about me. He’s my friend.”
She’d go and see him.
~~~
The garage door was open and the sound of David’s deep husky voice singing along with the radio drew her. Peeping around the corner, Mia smiled as she saw the mess. It was easy to see he was having a clean up.
David looked up and saw her. The smile that immediately spread across his face brought warmth to her heart.
He dusted his hands on his jeans as he came to greet her. “Hey, lovely lady, this is a nice surprise.”
“Hi. Would you like to go out for a coffee with me?” Mia felt awkward and shy. She’d never asked a man to go out with her before and this seemed like asking him on a date.
“Sounds great. Can you give me a few minutes to change?”
She nodded and went to wait in the garden.
The grin David was wearing as he backed his car out was contagious and Mia found herself laughing. He always seemed to be so constant, unwavering in his mood. Mia realized this was something she was learning to trust.
“Right, where are we going?”
“I thought we could drive to the point and go to the café up there. What do you think?”
Mia thought the drive would give her time to get her thoughts together.
“Sounds good to me.”
As David drove, Mia talked easily to him about her struggles with her father.
“When I saw his number on my phone I felt guilty for not answering, then angry that I felt guilty. It’s like I’m on a roller coaster.”
“I’d like to smash the phone down his throat.”