And Then He Kissed Me (30 page)

“I can’t believe she paid you to leave,” Audrey said.

“What’s worse is that I can’t believe I left. That part’s not her fault, you know. She put the offer out there, but I’m the dickhead who took it.”

Audrey smiled ruefully. “You were a dickhead.”

“The biggest one ever, maybe.”

“Would you have come back again if it wasn’t for the job?”

Kieran pressed his lips together briefly. “Honestly? I doubt it. When I first saw you at the dealership, my one goal was to stay away from you and just keep the past in the past. I figured I’d gotten over you, after all.”

But you hadn’t,
Audrey thought.

“It took me coming back to realize what a jackass I’d been, and that you were the only thing that had ever been good in my life. I want you to know how sorry I am. For the mistakes I made five years ago, and for those that I’ve made since I’ve been back. You deserve such a wonderful life. I don’t even know if I am the right guy to give it to you. But I’d live the rest of my life trying to be him.”

Audrey studied Kieran’s earnest face, and let his steady words settle in her addled brain.
The rest of his life.

He had feelings for her: both in the past and right here on this bench. And maybe far into the future—if she’d let it go there.

Her conscience twisted. Could she ever love Kieran Callaghan again?

She gazed at his long, strong fingers clutching her hands. Heaven help her, had she ever stopped?

She was an exhausted jumble of nerves and questions and wasn’t sure what to do about any of it.

“You need to rest,” Kieran said gently. An emotional enigma she clearly wasn’t. “You should go home and sleep. But tonight, I want you to meet me. If you would, that is.”

“Meet you where?”

“At the Asparagus Festival. In the music tent. I want to dance with you again.”

Audrey’s pulse raced. Dancing with Kieran Callaghan at the Asparagus Festival. Just like when they met five years ago.

It’s only a dance, she told herself. And yet she knew it would be so much more. He would hold her against his broad chest and they’d move together, erasing the past five years with every sway and turn. It would be like the moment when Kieran’s bike surged forward, his feet lifting off the ground and the two of them flying down the road.
The moment of takeoff.

“If you don’t come,” Kieran said, “I’ll understand. I talked with Fletch this afternoon and the dealership is in fine shape. With your help, it’ll only get better. Come Monday, the main office has another gig for me in Brainerd, if I want it.”

It seemed impossible that Kieran could leave so soon. Her body tensed, rejecting the idea.

“If I do meet you, and I’m not saying I will, what time?”

Kieran’s wide mouth broke into a shameless grin. His white teeth gleamed in the May sun; his eyes glinted like the Birch River. He was so handsome that her breath caught. “Eight o’clock.”

She willed herself to say yes, but the word wouldn’t come. Not yet, anyway. She didn’t dare believe that a single, one-syllable word could start a chain reaction that could have Kieran back in her life, caring for her with his whole heart. And that she could give him hers in return.

Could it really be that simple?

She didn’t have much time to think about it. Because tearing down the sidewalk, the sun illuminating her blonde hair like a halo, came Betty. She was waving a dish towel and hollering loud enough for all of White Pine to hear: “Emergency Knots and Bolts meeting!”

*  *  *

“Hair of the dog,” Betty pronounced, setting a small glass of Scotch in front of Audrey. “Drink up.”

“I think I’ll throw up if I have any more booze,” Audrey said. The liquid was deceptively beautiful: a rich color that reminded her of worn leather and polished oak barrels. She’d paint the darn glass if she could, but drink its contents? No way.

“You won’t hurl,” Betty said, pushing the Scotch closer to her with a practiced hand. “It’s medicinal at this point. And that’s the good stuff. So just shoot it back.”

Against her better judgment, Audrey tipped back the Scotch and grimaced as the peaty, fiery liquid lit up her esophagus and stomach. “Yeesh.”

Stephanie opened up a cupboard door. “Can I get one of those, too? The twins crayoned the flat-screen television again.”

Betty nodded and handed her the bottle. “Take it and pass,” she told the five women crowded into Knots and Bolts’s kitchenette, all of them leaning against the counters, the walls, or the small table where the hot dishes were set out. Audrey wasn’t sure why they weren’t at the big red table, but she wasn’t about to argue. This felt tighter—safer.

Her throat pinched unexpectedly. With she and her sister fighting, these women were more like family than ever. She felt fresh tears collect at the thought.

“All right, spill it,” Betty said, “because that pageant was a shit show to end all shit shows. And I want to know what caused it.”

“Betty!” the women chorused. Audrey could only smile.

Betty said things that needed saying.

So she opened her mouth and told the story of Kieran’s confession at the dealership, about Casey’s lies, and about the terrible fight at the diner. “I was just so rattled by the time I got to the pageant that I wasn’t thinking clearly. I was a mess. If Kieran hadn’t stopped it—”

“No offense, Audrey, but he could have had any woman in the crowd today,” Stephanie said, pouring another Scotch. “You should have seen how the ladies were looking at him. Like he was a white knight who had just rescued you.”

“He
did
rescue me,” Audrey confessed, thinking of his heartfelt defense of her onstage. If the day wasn’t a complete ruin, it was because of that.

“Well, I saw plenty of people looking at Audrey,” Willa said, her green eyes mischievous, “especially now that she’s a pole dancer.”

Audrey put her forehead in her hands. She would never, ever live this down.

“I wouldn’t despair just yet,” Betty said, patting Audrey’s arm. “Willa’s right. People were looking at you. Which means your plan might have just worked, albeit in a backwards way. I heard plenty of folks say they wouldn’t mind some personal training lessons from you, not to mention some dancing lessons, pole or otherwise. You may have hit on something.”

Audrey looked up. “Seriously? Dancing?”

“Well, it’s exercise, isn’t it?”

“I—I guess.” Audrey chewed on her lip. She couldn’t pole dance, it was true, but maybe she could teach a fun, hip-shaking dance class, like Zumba or salsa. She’d done both in college, and she knew there was certification available for both.

If she started reaching out to potential clients, like Caitlin and Sonja’s moms, she could offer more than just weights and running. She could offer something cardio that felt…
fun
.

The idea slammed into her. She never would have even considered a dance class before this.

Maybe the pageant hadn’t been a waste after all.

But even if she got a thriving personal training business out of the whole ordeal, it still wouldn’t make up for the fact that the most important relationship in her life was still a mess. Casey had misled her—had
lied
to her. Casey had been a first-rate jerk.

She groaned. “What do I even do now? I don’t know how to fix things with my sister—or if I even should.”

“That’s part of why I called this meeting,” Betty said. “I have an important proposal for the group. I motion that we let Casey Tanner into the Knots and Bolts recipe exchange.”

The women all stared at her. “For real?” Audrey asked dumbly. “But why?”

Betty shrugged, her expression casual even as her eyes were sharp. “I think she needs us.”

Anna’s forehead was creased under her dark hair. “I don’t know, Betty. She hurt Audrey pretty badly. Maybe give it some time?”

Audrey was going to agree, except there was a nagging shard of an idea that wouldn’t loosen from her brain. Kieran had been a liar. He had been a gambler. Five years ago, those things had all been true, and Casey had
known
it. He was reformed now, but…

Her fingers twitched around the Scotch glass as she envisioned a marriage where Kieran was stealing from their retirement funds to gamble.

In her own messed-up way, Casey had saved her. In a strange way, maybe she’d even saved Kieran, too.

“Listen,” Betty said. “Audrey has told me some about how she and Casey grew up, and it wasn’t easy. Casey had to be an adult before her time, and that’s hard on any kid. I think what she needs are some friends. Some people to show her how to be a sister. She screwed up, no doubt, but I believe she did it in Audrey’s best interests. Call me sentimental—”

“No one would call you that,” Willa interjected.

“Fair enough. But either way I think Casey needs us.” She turned to Audrey. “Listen to me. You don’t have to forgive her until you’re ready. You don’t have to make plans with her. We’ll just invite her to Knots and Bolts on Thursdays and see if she comes, and we’ll go from there.”

Audrey stared at her friend. Betty might be tough and outspoken, but she might just have the biggest heart of all of them. Audrey remembered how, when Willa joined Knots and Bolts, Betty had her own road of forgiveness to walk. Willa had bullied Betty for years in middle school and high school—and maybe Betty knew that there were good things on the other side of giving someone the benefit of the doubt.

“I’m for it,” Willa said, as if reading Audrey’s thoughts. “I think she should come.”

“I think Audrey should have the final word,” Stephanie said. Anna nodded in agreement.

“I’ll sleep on it,” Audrey said. “I think I need some breakfast and a nap, and then maybe my head will be clearer.”

“Fair enough,” Betty said. “Let’s exit stage left, ladies, and let this poor girl get home.”

The group put away the Scotch and headed for the back door. Audrey was rooting for her keys when she stopped short—again.

“Can someone take me home?” she asked, exasperated to the limit. “My stupid car is still at the Wheelhouse.”

C
HAPTER
TWENTY
-
FOUR

A
udrey studied her reflection in the mirror.

Her knee-length sleeveless black dress—the one she’d worn to every school awards ceremony or special occasion for the past three years—hugged her shape in the same familiar way it always had. Her comfortable flats were scuffed but sensible, and she wore her favorite bra—a soft pink satin affair that was delicate but didn’t push her boobs into her throat.

Audrey swished her hips a little, and couldn’t help but smile. Her hair was down, but not erupting all over her head. Instead, she’d curled it so it tumbled in soft auburn waves that ended just above her shoulders. Her eyeliner and mascara accented her deep brown eyes, but didn’t go as far as being Egyptian. More like Egyptian light, she thought.

Her Harley-Davidson clothes and position hadn’t been the answer to her new look, her new life, but they’d helped her find it. Now, for the first time since she’d been fired from her track job, Audrey felt like she was seeing—
really seeing
—herself. The woman looking back at her wasn’t a mousy gym teacher, and she wasn’t a vampy motorcycle model. She was just…Audrey.

She stared at her shape and tried to picture this woman walking through the opening of the music tent at the Asparagus Festival, and letting herself be pulled into Kieran Callaghan’s arms. Her skin prickled at the thought of his hands on her, of his wide mouth pressing against hers and her every curve fitting just right against his strong body.

If they came together now, it wouldn’t be for some hot sex.

She shook her head, knowing she could tumble into bed with Kieran again and again, but she’d always feel much more than the raw pleasure of it. She couldn’t have part of Kieran and not wish for more. This whole notion that she could allow herself a trickle of feeling for him and not have it turn into a wave of affection was ridiculous. The click was always there—ever present, like a playing card in a bicycle’s spokes.

The question was, would she let herself go to him now, in order to hit the reset button on their relationship? Would she gather together every ounce of faith she had, and step off the cliff in front of her, trusting that she wouldn’t fall—but fly?

“Yes,” she said into the space of her empty house. Her heart pounded in her chest; her body was humming with the potential of this night.

Tonight, she would dance with Kieran Callaghan. Tonight, she would let herself fall.

And tonight, she would trust that he would catch her.

*  *  *

Audrey stepped from her front door into the dusky evening and inhaled the sweet spring air. Crickets and frogs were singing along the banks of the nearby Birch River, and a gentle breeze carried the smell of lilacs and freshly mown grass. Lights from neighborhood homes shone warmly in the deepening night.