And Then There Was You (15 page)

CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

The second I had arrived at the airport, I had scanned the departures leaving that day and booked the first flight that appealed to me. Canada.

I'd flown into Calgary, hired a car with GPS and then driven straight to Banff, where I'd managed to book an apartment online while at the airport. En-route I had to buy a park pass, which I hadn't been expecting but the idea of staying in a Canadian National Park just made me smile. Matt would have hated it. He was all about holidays in the sun where the weather was as warm as it could possibly be. I had tolerated it because I'd wanted Matt to be happy. If I wanted to make myself happy, then this was where I would have come.

Adam, on the other hand; I didn't have a clue. He'd let me in for such a short time, and then he'd pushed me away. I felt like I'd lost him all over again. I'd lost him even before I'd lost Lisa. He'd assured me I was the one he wanted, but then he'd hit the bottle and completely shut me out. A couple of tears fell down my cheeks and I sniffed loudly, wiping them away.

I had to try and forget him, regardless of what Lisa had said before she died. It was clear that he was too hung up on his ex-wife, even now that she'd gone; all he wanted to do was drown his sorrows. We were over, and I had to accept that. That's why I'd run away, again. I needed to be completed alone. To find myself. To really find myself, this time.

Pulling up outside what appeared to my little apartment block, I found a spot to park my big Canadian car and then headed up the stairs, where I was greeted by a lovely lady who handed me the key and told me everything I needed to know.

Afterwards, I dropped my luggage on the sofa, walking through to look at the tiny kitchen. It was perfect for me. Through the kitchen was a bedroom with another window that looked out onto a pretty little courtyard. A simple yet fully functional bathroom was located next door.

I flopped onto the bed and closed my eyes, sighing. I was so lost and I was hoping running away would help me find myself again. Tears poured down my cheeks and I spent the rest of the evening crying.

Once I'd run out of tears, I decided enough was enough, so the next day I explored the town, making small talk with the locals, finding out the best places to visit. On the top of my list was a trip in the Banff gondola, which would take me to the top of the world, apparently.

The leaflets and the locals weren't wrong. It was perhaps the most beautiful scenery I had ever had the pleasure of witnessing. The Rockies were spectacular, and to see them from a glass box so high up was simply awe-inspiring.

At the top, I walked for a little while, having a coffee in the nearby Starbucks before heading back down to town so I could chill out for an hour before dinner.

oOo

I stood leaning at the entrance to the wooden cabin, a hot cup of coffee in my hands as I surveyed my home for the next couple of days. It was staggering. Apparently there was a waterfall located not far away, and I planned to hike down to find it after breakfast. I could take my time. After all, it was just me. I smiled, remembering the past few days; I'd seen a lot of Banff and the surrounding areas, taking a dip in the hot springs being one of my favourite few hours, whiling away the time as if I had so much of it – which I did! I had nothing to go back to. I could do whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted to do it, and that alone made me smile.

Waving to the people who were staying in the cabin next door, I pushed the door to and went to put my coffee cup in the sink before getting ready.

Ten minutes later, I had my sturdy shoes on, the ones I'd bought a couple of days into my trip for all the walking I intended to do, and was ready to go. With a map in my little backpack, just in case, I followed the signs for the waterfall, walking among the most enormous trees, down along some steep rocks before I found some steps to follow. I heard the water before I finally came upon it, and when I did, it took my breath away. It wasn't particularly huge or anything, but it was the colour of the water that struck me. It was the most beautiful shade of light blue. Magical. Truly magical.

All of a sudden, my imagination began to run wild and I grinned, looking around me. I took a few photos and then took the bag off my back, searching for the notebook and pen I'd brought with me. I found a spot to sit down and proceeded to make notes of everything in my head. Mermaids, monsters, creatures of the dark. They all invaded my space for about an hour until I'd written as much as I could possibly write in that little book.

Ecstatic, I knew I had the bones for a brand new series and I couldn't wait to see more of this beautiful country. This was going to be the beginning of something seriously exciting.

The next day I drove into Jasper. It made me chuckle because I couldn't help but think of the character from Twilight. Sad really; but hey, that's me. I chuckled again as I parked the car and went off to have a wander. I found some really cool shops, full of beautiful local crafts and Canadian-made jewellery. I bought a few postcards and watched people go by as I sat with a hot chocolate and a slice of cake, before heading back to the car. I spent the rest of the day hiking through various beauty spots in the vicinity. Even though I was alone, not once did I feel lonely. It was perhaps the best, yet saddest, time of my life.

oOo

The next few days were spent driving across Alberta, stopping overnight a couple of times, before heading through British Columbia and stopping in the beautiful holiday resort of Whistler, where I spent two nights. I remembered watching some of the winter Olympics there on TV a while back and thought how lovely it looked. I was right, of course. The town had a real buzz to it. There was so much to do – hiking, biking, skiing (although that wasn't possible at that time of year), shopping, eating and so on. It was full of young and old, all enjoying the beautiful blue skies and the crisp air.

Leaving it behind, I headed across to Vancouver Island, where I eventually found the little town of Tofino. I think I might have left a little bit of my heart there, actually. Famous for its huge white sandy beaches, much of them covered in the most enormous pieces of driftwood, it was easy to understand why it was so popular with surfers. In fact the town seemed to be so full of them, it was hard to spot anyone else!

My house for a few nights was right on the beach. It was stunning. On two levels, the open plan kitchen, dining room and lounge were on the ground floor, but my favourite part was upstairs. A grand bedroom with a couple of steps upwards led to a large sunken bath with a view out to the beach. It was absolute heaven. My first night was spent drinking wine in the bath. It was the first time my mind drifted...

The feeling of dancing in the rain, being completely at ease with each other, doing whatever the mood drove us to. Dancing in the rain. I sighed, took a long swig of the wine, letting it slowly slide down my throat, my muscles relaxed as it hit the spot and I closed my eyes again.

Flashes of his hands, the way they cupped my bum as he pulled me towards him in the pool. His face as he dropped his head backwards with laughter, his body drenched in rain as he danced to Singin' in the Rain, his fingers deftly wrapping my foot in a bandage as we sat on the chaise-longue, his tongue on my skin, my inner thighs, his romantic proposal in the storm, his kiss...

I woke with a start, dropping the wine into the bath.

'Shit,' I said as I wobbled, grabbing the now empty glass and placing it on the side of the bath. It was only then that I realised I'd been crying.

Looking out of the window and wiping my eyes, I noticed it was raining, just a gentle pitter-patter against the window. Turning the hot tap back on, I felt the warmth drift up from my feet, knees, thighs, between my legs and I sighed. It felt good, that warmth. I wanted more. I wanted to feel like a woman again; like a sexual woman. I groaned at the thought and placed my fingers between my legs, slowly sliding them up and down, making my mouth open as I imagined being kissed again. I slid further down the bath and arched my back, caressing my breasts, before sliding my finger firmly inside myself, careful to let my palm rub against my clitoris. Increasing both pressure and speed, I felt my body respond and soon, I let out a little groan as I came. Guilt flooded me.

Why feel guilty for pleasuring yourself
?
said the devil
.
You're your own woman. You're single. It's your body and if it feels good, then great! Don't feel guilty
,
she said and I smiled. I was beginning to think the devil and the angel were one and the same.

Sitting in the water, I slumped forward and looked down at my watch. Twenty past eight. My stomach grumbled as if on cue. Unplugging the bath, I sat for a moment, letting the water flood down the hole, before I stood up and grabbed a towel. I dried myself off and put on the fluffy white dressing gown provided by the owners of the rental property, then padded down the stairs into the kitchen.

Half an hour later, I sat at the dining table with a bowl of tomato pasta and another glass of white wine in front of me. I was just about to tuck in when I heard a noise outside.

I froze, waiting. I'd read all about bears living in Canada, and I certainly didn't want to encounter one. When nothing else happened, I twirled the spaghetti round the fork and began to eat dinner. Just two minutes later, there was a knock on the door.

Strange.

Pulling the gown tight against my body, I unlocked and opened the door.

'Adam,' I gasped, leaning against the frame for support.

'Hi, Eve,' he replied, looking utterly exhausted and drenched through.

'What are you doing here? How did you know where to come? What...' but before I continued, I sighed. 'Mum?'

He nodded. 'Can I come in?'

I held the door open and stepped aside in absolute shock. He took off his coat, not really knowing what to do with it, sopping wet as it was. Because I did nothing, he opened the front door again and just hung it on the door handle before shutting it.

He shivered.

'Oh God, you're wet through,' I said, pulling myself together. 'I'll get you a towel.' I left him standing in the kitchen and slowly walked up the stairs to the bedroom.

Once inside I shut the door and sat on the bed, taking deep breaths. I actually pinched myself; I couldn't quite believe he had travelled halfway across the world to find me. But why now? If I was what he truly wanted, why hadn't he reached out to me before? I was pulled from feeling angry to a deep sense of relief and happiness. But I let the anger win over and I stood up, grabbing a towel before rushing back downstairs.

'Adam, what are you doing here?' I demanded, passing it to him.

He took it, looking so lost. 'I...I...came to find you, Eve. I needed to see you...'

'You needed to see me? Why? Why come all this way? You shouldn't be here, Adam. You should have stayed away.'

'But, but...'

'But what, Adam?'

'I love you,' he said quietly.

'No, you don't. It's clear to me now. You never loved me, not really.'

'You're wrong, Eve.'

I shook my head and turned away, grabbing my wine from the dining table and taking a swig.

'Eve, I do love you. More than you could ever understand.'

'No, you loved Lisa, and now that she's gone, you don't want to be alone.'

Adam let the towel hang around his neck as he stepped forward and took my hand in his. 'No, you don't really believe that, do you? Please, Eve. I'm sorry, truly sorry for causing you so much pain. I never meant to, you know?'

I turned to face him, letting him pull me closer to him. 'I know, Adam. I know you didn't do this on purpose. But we weren't meant to be. You shouldn't have come here.'

'No?' he asked.

I shook my head and pulled my hand away.

'Don't you love me?' he whispered, and my breath stuck in my throat. 'I know you love me, Eve. Please don't push me away now. Tell me the truth... don't you love me?'

I sobbed and stepped away.

'Eve, please,' he said, tears falling down his cheeks. 'I love you so much and I want to make it up to you for the rest of my life.'

'Adam, no. I can't take any more of this.'

'Say it, say you don't love me anymore.'

I opened my mouth to say it, but the words wouldn't come. How could I lie?

'Oh, Adam,' I cried falling into his arms. 'I do love you, but I can't bear all this pain.'

'I'll never hurt you again, Eve. I promise.'

I looked up into his eyes and saw such love there. I wanted him. I'd always wanted him. But he hadn't been ready. Was he ready now?

As I sat on his lap on the sofa, he pulled me towards him and our lips finally met in a tantalizingly erotic kiss that had every nerve ending through my body tingling with desire.

'Evie... I want you so bad,' he whispered into my ear. 'I've missed you so much. I was devastated when you left.'

Standing up, I took his hand and led him slowly upstairs to the bedroom, where I pushed him back onto the bed. For a minute, I left him there so I could go and put the plug back into the bath and started running it again. For some reason, I really wanted to have a bath with him. Then I returned to him and slowly removed his clothes. He just sat there, watching me as each shoe and sock was dropped to the floor. I unbuckled his belt and slowly pulled it through the loops, throwing it behind me. Next was his sweater; he held his arms up so I could slide it off. I took a few moments to unbutton his shirt, then I pulled it open, sliding my hands over his torso before sliding them down his jeans as he shrugged out of the shirt. I undid the top button teasingly slowly before the next. Then I pulled him to his feet so I could pull them down past his thighs. He lifted each leg, allowing me to remove them and fling them across the room. He stood in nothing but his boxer shorts, his erection straining against the fabric.