And Then You Fall (Crested Butte Series) (6 page)

She decided to stop and see if Dottie Patterson was home. She tied up Micah near the barn and walked in the back door.

“Hey-o, anybody here?” Liv never knocked first, Dottie wouldn’t have known how to take it if Liv had. She probably would’ve been insulted.

“In here, honey,” Dottie called out from kitchen.

Liv walked straight up to the woman and let herself be surrounded by a hug like no one else gave but Dottie. Her eyes immediately filled with tears.

“What’s this?” Dottie asked, holding Liv at arms’ length. “Sit down young lady and tell me what these tears are all about.”

Liv sat, and proceeded to tell Dottie about Ben Rice, including the part about her not having sex since Scott had died.

“You know sweetie, Bill and I always hoped one of the cowboys who worked our ranch would turn your head, but year after year it never happened. It wasn’t for lack of trying on their part either.”

“What are you talking about? Whose part?”

“Well let’s see now . . . there have been a slew of ’em trying for years to get your attention.”

“Like who?”

“Well Billy Junior was one, but I think he gave up years ago, honey. You wouldn’t even look in his direction. Then there was the Morehouse boy, what was his name?”

“Brandon.”

“That’s right, Brandon. He had a fierce crush on you. There were others.”

Liv was stunned. She’d never known this.

“Are you sure you aren’t talking about someone else?”

“No I’m not talking about someone else. I’m talking about you Olivia. You’ve never been aware of your own beauty, that’s probably one of the things that makes you so irresistible. And from the day she was born, you’ve been wrapped up in being the best mama you could be to Renie. But sweetie, we’ve worried some about you not realizing there was more to life than that.”

“I wasn’t a bitch was I?”

Dottie laughed. “You mean to the boys? Well maybe a little. It just made them want to follow you around all the more.”

Liv hadn’t been that interested in dating in high school, she’d already decided Scott was the only man for her. She supposed guys flirted with her, but she never really paid attention.

“I didn’t know.”

“That was pretty clear,” Dottie chuckled again. “It’s always that way isn’t it? The girls who do the chasin’ the boys don’t want. The girls who don’t know the boys exist, the boys can’t get enough of.”

Dottie reached over and put her palm on Liv’s cheek. “You need to open your heart up a little. Let him in.”

“Who? Ben? I don’t think he really wants in Dottie. In fact, I’d be surprised if I heard from him again.”

“You got your cell phone on you?”

“Yeah,” she said, pulling it out of the pocket in her vest.

“Is it on?”

She hadn’t remembered to turn it back on since she’d gotten home. She hit the power button and set it down on the table.

It immediately chirped, letting her know she had a new voice message and a couple of text messages too. Liv picked up the phone to look. Her face turned red.

“That’s what I thought. You heard from him didn’t you?”

“Yes, but . . .”

“No darlin’, no yes-buts. I’m gonna excuse myself for a few minutes. You listen to those messages and when I come back, you’re gonna tell me what he said.”

***

Ben couldn’t understand why Liv hadn’t answered him. He was starting to feel as though she might be avoiding him. Maybe she hadn’t charged her phone. He knew her flight had landed a couple of hours ago, and figured she’d be home by now, although he didn’t know how far it was from the airport to wherever it was she lived. He knew it was somewhere between Denver and Colorado Springs, but that was all he knew.

He wished she’d just answer him, as it was, he couldn’t think about anything else. This was uncharted territory for him, this woman was under his skin, making him crazy thinking about her.

The door of his house flew open and Luke came running toward him followed by his brother.

“Daddy’s home,” Luke shouted. Ben lifted him up and swung him around a couple of times before setting him down, grabbing Jake and doing the same thing.

Jake gave his dad an exasperated sigh, but Ben didn’t care. You never got too old for your dad to show you he loved you. At least he hadn’t. Ben’s mom and dad walked in the door behind the boys.

“There he is,” his mom said, giving him a squeeze and a kiss on the cheek. “We missed you around here.”

Ben’s dad came over and hugged him too. They were a family who had never been shy about affection, and Ben was glad of it.

“Hey Dad, how are you?”

“I’m good son, how were the bright lights of Las Vegas? Stayed a little longer than you thought, were you winnin’ big?”

“No, you know me better than that. Never have been a big gambler.”

His father looked deep into his eyes. Ben knew his dad wouldn’t ask the question, but Ben would answer anyway.

“Nothin’ to report Dad. Life is good.”

Ben’s father put his hand on his shoulder. “Glad to hear it.”

They worried whenever he went on the road, and they were right to. The truth was, the time he spent with Liv, he hadn’t thought about drinking at all. Even at the show. He wanted her, but he hadn’t wanted a drink.

The boys were racing around him, each vying for his attention, telling him what they’d been doing while he was gone. That morning his dad had taken them fishing and his mom had grilled up what they caught for lunch.

“There’s a rodeo in Gunnison Dad. Can we go? This is the last year Luke can do mutton bustin’.”

Luke was Ben’s little Tasmanian devil, Jake was the more cautious of his boys. Ben knew the older Luke got, the more trouble he’d likely get into, just like he had. That worried him more than a little.

“Of course we can go. Are G’ma and G’pa coming along?”

“You bet.”

Ben pulled his cell phone out, not only to check the time, but to see if he’d heard back from Liv. He hadn’t. “It’s 2:30, what time do we have to be there?”

“Check-in’s at 5:00,” Jake answered. “Can we play PS3 until it’s time to go?”

Ben laughed. “You can play PS3 for an hour, then you can play outside until it’s time to go.”

“Thanks Daddy,” said Luke, climbing up Ben’s leg to give him a kiss. Ben picked him up and hugged him close. “I missed you buddy.”

“Me too. Put me down now Daddy, Jake’s gonna pick out a game I don’t want to play if you don’t put me down.”

“Okay, there you go pard’ner.” He set Luke on his feet and turned back to his parents, who were studying him.

“What?” Ben looked behind him as if to ask what they were looking at.

“Good to see you son,” his mom said, kissing his cheek for the second time.

“What’s goin’ on? I was gone for a couple of days. You’re both acting like I was gone for a month.”

“When you changed your flight plan, I’ve got to admit, it made your mom and me worry.”

“It wasn’t what you think.”

“What was it then?”

“I met someone.”

Chapter 5

Only one of the new texts on her phone was from Ben. The others were from Paige and Renie. Paige wanted to make sure Liv was still speaking to her, which, of course, she was. Renie wanted to know how Las Vegas was. Where to begin? How much did she tell her daughter?

Ben’s said,
Are you okay? Answer me Liv. Please.
His voice mails said much of the same, but went further. Hearing it rather than reading it, made it different. There was longing in his voice. He said he couldn’t stop thinking about her, couldn’t wait to see her again, couldn’t wait to feel her next to him again. Then he sang a little.

Liv put her elbows on the table and leaned her face into her hands. She didn’t know what to do, or how to respond to him. Did he think she’d just pick up and drive to Crested Butte to see him? He hadn’t said anything specific, just that he couldn’t wait to see her. What did that mean?

Dottie shuffled back in and sat down next to her. “So?”

“He said he can’t wait to see me again.”

“And?”

“That’s about it.”

“What are you going to do about it?”

“I have no idea.”

Liv rode Micah back home, brushed him down and went into her house for the first time in several days. Mark had left the mail on the kitchen counter and watered her plants. She opened up the refrigerator, but nothing appealed to her to eat. When had she last eaten? She couldn’t remember. She thought about opening a bottle of wine, but considering she had an empty stomach, decided that wouldn’t be a good idea.

She could feel her cell phone in her pocket. It hadn’t made any new noises, but that didn’t mean she’d forgotten it was there, nor had she forgotten the unanswered messages it contained. She pulled it out and called Renie.

“Hey Mom, how was Vegas?”

“Good. Relaxing. We saw a CB Rice show while we were there.”

“And?”

“And what?” What the heck? Had she been talking to Paige?

“Did he see you?”

Yep, he saw her. All of her.

“Mom, are you there?”

“I’m here. We, um, spent some time together.”

“What? You and Ben?”

“Me and Ben. I guess you could say we went out on a couple of dates.”

“Did you sleep with him?”

“Renie! That is not an appropriate question to ask me!”

“Why not Mom? Jeez. I’m not a kid anymore.”

“It’s complicated.”

“So you did. Good. I’m glad to hear it.”

“Renie, honey, just so you know this up front. I am not as interested in hearing about your sex life as you are in mine. Just because we’re having this conversation doesn’t mean I’m opening the door to details. On either side.”

Renie laughed, and kept laughing. “Got it Mom. I’m just glad to hear you had fun. When are you seeing him again?”

That was the million dollar question, wasn’t it?

They were halfway to Gunnison when Ben’s cell phone rang. He snapped it up, almost saying her name before he knew it was her.

“Hey.”

“Hi Ben. It’s Liv. I’m sorry it took me so long to get back to you.”

“It’s okay. Well, it’s not okay, but I’m glad to hear from you now. Are you home?”

“I am. I didn’t even go in the house when I got here. I went straight out to the barn and went for a ride.”

“The barn? A ride? Do you have a horse?” That was how little he knew about her. She hadn’t told him she had a horse. Had he even asked her anything about herself? They’d talked about her daughter, but other than that, he knew nothing about her. Wait, her dad had been a pilot in the military, had she said Air Force? He wasn’t sure.

“I have two. One belongs to Renie, but since she’s away at college, I have two. Micah’s mine. He’s not very old, so he needs a lot of exercise. He really likes to get out and run. I also board horses.”

“As a matter of fact, I’m on my way right now to a rodeo, in Gunnison.”

“Oh, I should let you go then. Take care Ben.”

“Hold on, hold on, don’t go hanging up yet. I was just telling you so you knew we had something else in common. You seemed a little worried about that at the airport.”

Ben realized the four other people in the Tahoe with him were hanging on every word he was saying.

“Hey, you know, it might be better if I call you back, since I’m driving and all. When I do, will you answer?”

Liv was quiet, so quiet he thought maybe the call had dropped. “Liv, are you there?”

“I’m here.” She went quiet again. “Um, I think it might be best if you didn’t. I have a lot to get caught up on with the ranch, and honestly, I’m pretty tired. It’ll be an early night for me and a busy few days.”

Ranch? She had a ranch? He was an asshole. No wonder she didn’t want to talk to him, he hadn’t bothered to get to know anything about her, he was too busy getting into her panties.

“Give me a half an hour. You’ll still be awake then, won’t you?”

“Ben . . .”

“A half an hour Liv and I’ll call you back.”

He parked the truck after letting his parents and boys off at the main entrance. “You go get checked in and I’ll meet you,” he’d said. The truth was he was so anxious to call Liv back, he couldn’t wait to get them out of the truck, a fact that wasn’t lost on his mom and dad.

The phone rang three times before she picked up. Ben was almost beside himself by the time she did.

“You don’t know how good it is to hear your voice.”

“Yours too.”

“I’m sorry I couldn’t talk before, I had my mom and dad, and the boys in the truck and suddenly every word I said was the most interesting thing they’d ever heard,” he chuckled.

“It’s okay. I bet they really missed you.”

“They did. But Liv, I really miss
you.”

“Ben, I don’t know what to say to you. I had a really nice time, but now we’re back to our own lives. I don’t think we should get into the habit of talking to each other.”

“What? We shouldn’t get into the habit of talking to each other?” Ben knew getting angry was only going to push her further away, but he couldn’t help it. She was really pissing him off. “I’m sorry I raised my voice Liv, but Jesus. Are you serious?”

She didn’t respond.

“Liv, come on. Don’t do this.”

“I’m not doing anything. We had fun.”

“I feel as though you wanted to say, ‘but now it’s over.’”

“How could something that didn’t
start be over? It isn’t over. It’s . . . I don’t know what it is. It just isn’t.”

“It isn’t? It isn’t anything to you? It’s something to me.”

“Ben, go be with your kids. Enjoy your night at the rodeo. Enjoy your life.”

Ben knew he should answer her, but he didn’t know what to say. Regardless of what he said next, she’d say goodbye. And then if he called again, would she even pick up?

“I can’t let go of this Liv. I know you think you want me to, but I can’t. More than that, I won’t. So I may hang up now, but tomorrow, I’ll call you again, and if you don’t answer, I’ll keep calling until you do.”

“And what if I don’t answer?”

“You will.” He hung up, if he hadn’t he might have resorted to begging to come see her. He had his boys with him until Monday morning. Maybe he’d give her a couple of days to think, and call her then. If he could last that long. For the first time in several days, he really wanted a drink.

Liv locked the back door and went into the bedroom. It was too early to try to go to sleep, if she did, she’d be wide awake at 3:00
am
. But there wasn’t anything she felt like doing. She turned on the television but she couldn’t get interested in anything that was on. She picked up her iPad to read. She wasn’t interested in reading either. She accidentally swiped the music icon with her finger, and Ben’s voice sang to her.

You’ve had a rough day, why don’t I turn out the light. Let down your hair, it’s gonna be alright. If you need me to dry your tears, baby I’ll be right here. Good night blue eyes, may your dreams come true. Good night blue eyes, I love you.

Oh God, what had she done? Why did she have sex with him? Why had she let herself get to know him? Her ache of loneliness had been manageable before, she’d gotten to the point where she hardly noticed it. Now it was all she noticed.

She was alone, and it was by choice. She could not let herself risk falling in love again. She couldn’t. When she loved people, they left her. He might say he wanted to see her again, but he didn’t realize that it would matter mo
re to her than it would to him.

***

Liv had what sounded like country music playing when Paige walked into the barn Monday morning. It definitely wasn’t a CB Rice song.

“Hell-o, Liv, are you in here?”

Liv came out of one of the stalls at the end of the barn. She was filthy. “Hey Paige, how are you? I’d hug you but . . .”

“Not necessary. What in the world are you doing?”

“Cleaning the stall, I’ve got a new horse coming in at the end of the week. Might as well get ready now.”

“I didn’t hear from you this weekend. I thought I might.”

“I know, I’m sorry. I should have answered you.”

“Are we okay?”

“We’re fine.” Liv walked closer to Paige and sat down on one of the barn stools. “I needed some time to myself.”

“You have too much time to yourself. That’s the problem.”

Liv gave Paige a look.

“I’m not intimidated by you, I know other people are, but I’m not. I have some things to say and you need to listen.”

“When, tell me, when have I ever
not
listened to you? Jeez Paige, you’re one of the only people I do listen to.”

“Have you heard from Ben?”

“We talked on Friday. I haven’t heard from his since.”

“Did you make plans?”

“Paige, we just got home! It hasn’t been a week. No, we didn’t make plans.”

“Did he say when you’d hear from him again?”

“No. Well, I don’t know. I mean, I thought I’d hear from him again over the weekend. But I didn’t. You know how the saying goes, ‘be careful what you wish for.’”

“And what did you wish for?”

“To never see him again.”

Paige sat down on one of the other stools. “Oh, honey, why not?”

Liv looked like she was about to cry. Paige walked over to hug her.

“I’m a mess, you don’t want to hug me.”

“I’m sure you have something I can change into after I decide I no longer want to smell like a horse. Come here.”

“I knew it would happen. That’s why this is so stupid. I expected it. There isn’t any reason for me to be this upset. What would a man like him want with a woman like me?”

“Isn’t it a little early in the game to call it?”

Liv pulled back and Paige went and sat back down on her stool.

“I pushed him away pretty hard Paige.”

“And has that worked before?”

“Before? What before? We don’t have a before.”

“You tried to push him away in Vegas, and from what I remember, it didn’t seem like it worked.”

“That was different.”

“I’m just saying is give it a few days.”

“And then what? What will be different? I’m still somebody he slept with while he was ‘on tour,’ or whatever he calls it. He’s probably forgotten my name by now.”

Ben picked up the phone at least a hundred times over the weekend to call Liv, and each time he set it back down. He missed her so much his chest ached. He’d never missed anyone this much, besides his boys when they weren’t with him. When he dropped them off this morning, the ache multiplied.

He hated that he was divorced, and that his boys didn’t have the same kind of family he had. Ben and his brothers had been given the gift of a home in which his parents loved each other, and them, more than anything. There had never been a doubt in his mind that his parents would love each other and be together until the day one of them died. He had failed in creating that for his boys.

He supposed he’d loved Christine at one point. If it had been up to him, they’d still be married. They’d be miserable, but they’d still be married. He was thankful she still lived in Crested Butte, that way the boys didn’t get shuffled back and forth too awful much.

Christine had remarried, not long after their divorce was final. Joe, her new husband, seemed like a good guy. He wasn’t from around here, they’d met skiing, and soon after, he moved here. Ben didn’t even know what the guy did for a living. It didn’t matter what the courts said, Ben would always provide for her, and his boys, whether she was remarried or not. He wanted his sons to have a nice place to live, the same sense of security, whether they were at their mother’s house or his.