Authors: V. Vaughn
S
ince I told
Andre we couldn’t be together, my dreams came back and have become even more intense. It’s like I’m having a wild sexual affair with a guy who by day will barely talk to me. Although he does sing in my dreams. It’s the weirdest thing, but it’s like we’re writing his song in our sleep. I sigh as I wander the aisle at the mall. Music plays in my head.
I didn’t know I was lost.
Jake has invited the band over to his apartment for a holiday dinner and assigned everyone a secret Santa. Of course I got Andre, and now I’m sorting out what to give him for a gift.
The sweet aroma of chocolate mixed with coffee floats toward me, and I stop at the small shop to get a hot drink to help me with a creative present idea. The holiday music is loud, and I hum along as I wait in line. I wonder if Andre is familiar with the tunes and smile when I recall playing music videos for him. My grin gets bigger when I realize I know just what to get him for Christmas. I sing another line in our song under my breath.
You showed me the way.
An hour later, I have a shiny, red package with a white bow. It contains a tablet so Andre can learn about the wonders of the Internet and play any song he wants with a few taps of his finger. I love this time of year. Seeing joy on people’s faces when you give them a special gift makes me happy, and I’m so excited about giving Andre my present, I don’t worry too much about the fact that he doesn’t like me very much right now. I sing another line to his song in my head along with a reply.
You told me to leave. I asked you to stay.
I get back to the dorm with enough time to change for dinner. I enter my room to find Ginny has thrown almost all of her clothing on the bed. She turns to me with wide eyes. “Thank god you’re here. I need help.”
“What’s going on?”
“Andre’s brother Adrian is coming to dinner.”
She lifts a pink top up, and I shake my head as I say, “I take it you’ve got a crush on him.”
“I’ve never met the guy,” she says. I shake my head again when she holds up a gray sweater to her chest. Ginny continues. “But you know those dreams we have? A very tall, very blond man who looks like he could be Andre’s brother is in them. Since Tori said both participants have the dream, I’m hoping that’s why he’s coming tonight.”
Whoa. Andre is having the same dreams I am?
I forgot about that piece of information. Fabric is soft against my hand as I sift through the shirts on Ginny’s bed. I pull out a dark-green silk blouse that will set off my sister’s eyes. I hold it up near my face so she can see the effect as I say, “That seems kind of cruel to do to people who are just mates, don’t you think?”
I grin when she snatches the shirt out of my hand. She says, “I don’t know. I think it’s kind of cool.” Her voice is muffled when she lifts her turtleneck over her head. “Remember how Tori told us the Le Roux put out the call and that the De Roziers’ clan was so small that they did the same thing? It’s to keep the clans alive. I think it’s neat that we’re a part of that.”
Silk slithers over her torso, and I nod in approval as I ask, “You’d consider becoming a werebear?”
“Hell yeah. My dreams are so lifelike, it makes me think the star of them is my true mate.”
Oh my god.
My dreams are lifelike too.
What if Andre is my true mate?
Ginny puts her hands on her hips and tilts her head at me. “Your dreams are intense right now, aren’t they?”
I nod.
Her feet thump on the floor as she walks over to my closet. It takes my sister about a second to pull out a green sweater in the same shade she’s wearing. “You need to stop being an idiot and give Andre a chance. My future is at the dinner table tonight, and you’d better not screw this up for me.”
“I don’t think you can if it’s true mates.”
Ginny is holding eyeliner, and she tosses it at me. It bounces off my arm and clatters to the floor, and she says, “Lucky for you. But it would be nice if you’d stop torturing yours.”
“Andre is not my true mate.” My hairbrush yanks at my locks as I pull my hair up in a high ponytail.
“Wanna bet?” asks Ginny.
“Ugh, I was in such a good mood before this discussion. Can we just stop and pretend we’re normal humans again? I want to enjoy my night.”
Ginny ignores my question and strikes a pose. “How do I look?”
“Fabulous. Let’s go.”
I let my sister drive, and I gaze out the window. Christmas lights reflect below a layer of snow, making them glow, and tacky decorations make me smile as I imagine the joy of the children who see them. I wonder if Andre has ever witnessed anything like this. The wrapping paper of his present crinkles as I hug the gift. I may be torturing him as Ginny says, but I bet he’s going to be happy when he sees what I got him.
I ask, “Did you know the reason Andre doesn’t talk much is because he and his brothers spent the last ten years as bears in order to survive?”
The blinker ticks as Ginny prepares to turn onto a side street. “Oh, wow. God, don’t you feel so spoiled sometimes?”
“I do.”
If I hadn’t grown up in the land of country clubs, would I still crave the soccer-mom life?
My stomach hurts when I think of how I told Andre I had plans that didn’t include him.
I glance at my sister, who is so excited about the prospect of entering a world I can’t seem to embrace. If she does meet her true mate tonight, she’ll get a life filled with a love that will never waver. She’ll get children and the family I want, even if she doesn’t have a fancy home or car.
What is wrong with me?
I glance over at a house with a blue spruce tree covered in lights. They’re placed perfectly, and the glass of the car window is cold on my palm as I imagine grabbing ahold of the Christmas tree to save forever. But the illusion is gone in an instant as we drive past it.
G
inny
and I enter into the aroma of thyme and sage mixed with turkey. The soulful voice of Nat King Cole belts out a holiday song as Jake kisses our cheeks in greeting. We’re in the kitchen, and I notice Brita in a tight little black dress and heels. She’s wearing an apron and stirring something on the stove. It makes me think my instinct that she and Jake are a thing is right. She waves at us with her free hand. “Hey, guys!”
Jake says, “Ladies, you can put your gifts under the tree.”
We walk through his kitchen toward the living room, and Ginny stops to grip my fingers so tightly I wince. I guess she’s just seen the guy who must be in her dreams. A man who is as blond as Andre stands by the tree. His hair is cut short, and his long, elegant fingers are wrapped around the wine glass he holds.
I take over for my awestruck sister. “Hi. You have got to be Andre’s brother. I’m Nessa, and this is my sister Ginny.”
He smiles at me. “Adrian. Can I get you two a drink?”
I think Ginny squeaks, and I say, “We’d love one. Wine would be nice, thank you.”
I glance over at Andre, and he flashes his signature hint of a smile as I roll my eyes at him. I whisper to Ginny, “Breathe.”
Adrian returns with two goblets, and he takes Ginny’s arm. She gazes up at him, and he says, “I believe you share my dreams. Come sit with me.”
Smooth.
I take a sip of my wine, and tart flavor fills my mouth. I inspect the tree for something to do. Andre comes to stand beside me. “Friends?”
I’m so tempted to remind him he said that couldn’t happen, but I bite my tongue, because it’s going to be a long night if we can’t find a way to get along. I take his olive branch of peace and raise it one by lifting my glass. The crystal clinks when I connect with his. I purposely don’t speak, and when Andre offers me a smile complete with a dimple, I grin back.
He asks, “Did you know once a couple completes the mate bond, they can speak telepathically to each other?”
“Now that’s clever. I can see where you would enjoy that.”
Brita steps out of the kitchen to speak before he can reply. “Dinner will be ready in five minutes. Go find your seats.”
The table is covered with red linens, and green candles are lit. A small pouch I recognize from a local chocolate business is on each plate, and a place card designates where each of us will sit. I’m next to Adrian and across from Andre. Brita and Jake have the two ends. We’ve been coupled. Andre’s song plays in my head, and I add another line.
The love that I’ve found.
Dinner goes smoothly, and I take great amusement in watching my star-struck sister with the man she thinks is her true mate. After much wine, food, and laughter, it’s time for presents. We move to the living room, where Jake hands everyone their gifts.
My present is in the decorative bag my sister brought. Tissue paper crinkles when I reach in, and fluffy fur-like material is soft under my fingers. I pull out a stuffed polar bear with a red pet collar around his neck, and I glance at Ginny as I shake my head. She winks before she gazes at Andre, because she knows what I got him. Paper tears as he rips it from the box, and Andre smiles slowly when he figures out what his present is. He glances over at me, and I nod. The voices of everyone else fade away for a moment as I lose myself in Andre’s gaze. I imagine he’s thanking me telepathically.
He says, “Come show me how to use it.”
I get up and go sit on the arm of the couch, next to Andre. I had the salesclerk at the electronics shop set everything up so it would be ready to use. I lean over to turn it on, and more than the tablet hums with an electric surge. My body buzzes with the energy we create, and when his unique scent floods my senses, I have to blink to focus.
We peruse a few things before Jake slips into boss mode and announces it’s time to go to the holiday break frat party on campus. I stand and am about to go get my coat when Andre grabs my hand. I curl my fingers around his, as if it’s a natural gesture for us, before I turn to him. He says, “Thank you, Vanessa. I love my present.”
“You’re welcome.” He doesn’t let go, and it must be the wine that makes me so agreeable, because I let him lead me outside.
Ginny and Adrian are ahead of us, and she calls out, “Nessa!” as she tosses me the keys. I release Andre’s hand to catch them, and the metal is hard when it hits my palm. She says, “I’m going with Adrian.”
“Guess you’re stuck with me,” I say to Andre. Our song invades my mind along with a new line.
It won’t go away.
When we get in the car, I ask, “How goes the composing?”
His seat belt clicks into place. “Good now that you’re helping.”
He does dream what I do!
Heat rises to my cheeks as I recall the sexy parts, and I’m grateful we’re in near darkness. I sing the lyrics I have so far and make my voice deeper for his lines.
“I didn’t know I was lost,
You showed me the way.
You told me to leave,
You asked me to stay.
The love that I’ve found,
It won’t go away.”
The steering wheel is frigid under my mitten-covered hands, and I repeat the first line. Andre sings the second line, and we run though what I’ve got so far. When we’re done, he says, “I like it.”
I glance over at his full smile and say, “I do too.”
When we get to campus, music and voices from the party carry all the way over to the parking lot of my dorm. Adrian and Ginny parked next to us, while Brita and Jake most likely parked in the lot by her dorm. Our boots crunch over snow as we walk. I ask, “Adrian, I hear all the Lindquist brothers are musical. What do you play?”
“My favorite instrument is the saxophone. That way nobody makes me sing.”
“You can’t be that bad,” I say.
Andre makes a small noise of disgust before he says, “He’s that bad. But he’s got lungs.”
Ginny says, “I love the sound of a sax. You’ll have to play for me sometime.” She bumps her body into him, and he wraps an arm around her waist. That’s my sister. She goes after what she wants and doesn’t waste any time. I wish I were as quick to embrace change, but I’m not, so Andre and I continue to walk without touching.
I steal a quick glance at the man next to me. The one who is in my dreams and working his way into my heart. He catches me looking, and his lips twitch with his barely-there smile. I offer him one back, and I wonder when that got so easy.
W
hen Ginny
, Adrian, Andre, and I get close to the frat house, we find Brita and Jake walking toward us from the other direction. Brita rushes forward and says, “Girls, come dance with me.” Her hands are cold when she grabs ours and says to Andre, “If you guys get us drinks, we won’t make you join us.”
Jake says, “I like that plan. Come find us when you’re thirsty.”
We enter into the humidity of sweaty bodies, and music vibrates through my limbs as we head to the dance floor. We’ve just begun to move when I notice Eric weaving his way through the crowd. He yells, “Hey! I was hoping you’d be here.”
Sweat-soaked hair is stuck to his forehead, and he steps close to dance with me. When I catch a whiff of his musk, it makes me crinkle my nose. He places his hands on my hips and leans in to say, “You look hot tonight.” His words are slightly slurred, and I guess that his inebriated state has made him throw caution to the wind.
I step back to shake off his grip. I’m not sure what I saw in the guy, because right now Eric kind of repulses me. As if I sent out a telepathic call for help, Andre appears by my side. He’s holding two beers, and I turn to take my drink. The cup is slippery with moisture in my hand. “Thanks.” I turn my back to Eric, and the beer is surprisingly cold when I take a sip. I drink more to quench my thirst.
Someone comes up behind me to grind, and I turn around quickly to the intrusion. It’s Eric. Apparently my subtle hint to back off didn’t work. I hold up my hand and step back, which makes me bump up against Andre. He slides his arm around my waist, and it takes away my apprehension.
He’s protecting me.
I imagine Andre’s glaring when I see Eric scowl.
Eric spits out, “You’re with the townie?”
I’m horrified he would insult Andre to his face and say, “Yes,” as I place my hand on Andre’s and lean against my Nordic god’s massive chest.
Eric asks, “What? Is this some kind of bad-boy fling or something for you while you wait for me?”
Andre tenses but remains silent. But heat rises in me as I glare at Eric when I say, “You need to stop right there.”
I begin to walk away and pull Andre with me when Eric yells, “He doesn’t belong here! I could get him kicked out!”
Now I’m beyond furious, and I tug Andre through the crowd and out to the porch. When we get there, he stares at me as he waits for me to say something.
Icy wind blows on my overheated skin, and I welcome it as I take deep breaths to calm down. I can’t believe Eric would not only judge someone he doesn’t even know, but say such awful things to his face. I say, “I’m so sorry. That guy is my lab teacher.” I shake my head. “I’m not sure what got into him. He was so inappropriate.”
“Is he your boyfriend?” Andre’s stance with his feet slightly spread and arms across his chest reminds me of the first night he walked me home and waited for me to get inside.
Is he getting all alpha on me?
Only a few days ago, I thought of Eric as my future. But now the idea of kissing Eric makes my skin crawl. “What? No. Most definitely not.”
“Good. Because you’re mine.”
My jaw drops, and I sputter. “Did you... you just say I’m
yours
?”
Andre’s gaze is intense, and I swear his eyes have gone shifter on me. I’m sure of it when he lets out a low growl. “You are.”
“Oh, no.”
What is it with these guys? Did I step back to the caveman days?
“I don’t belong to anyone.” I huff, and the porch shakes under my feet as I stomp back into the frat house. I push my way through people as if I’m in a roller derby.
His?
I think steam might be coming out of my ears when Eric steps in front of me and glares as he asks, “Have a fight with your boy toy?”
I push at his chest, and his shirt is moist with sweat. “Get the hell out of my way.” Denim is rough on my hand when I try to scrape Eric’s dampness off my palm.
Andre must have followed me, because Eric’s head tilts up as he stumbles back, and fear is in his eyes. I continue shoving my way through to get my coat. I’m so out of here.
I find my coat in a pile and notice Andre’s jacket is under it. I grab it and toss it to him. I may be pissed off, but I’m not stupid enough to walk back to my dorm alone. Besides, if he thinks he owns me, then he’ll be happy to keep me safe.
The door slams behind us when I lead us out the back way to avoid pushing through people again. The sudden drop in volume caresses my ears. My anger fades with each step, and my heavy footsteps make way to a normal stride. Andre matches me as we walk in silence. He begins to sing softly and does my part of our song along with his.
“I didn’t know I was lost,
You showed me the way.
You told me to leave,
You asked me to stay.”
I’m not mad any longer, but I’m not amiable either, so I ignore him when he starts over and waits for me to sing my part.
His?
Who says stuff like that? I almost laugh when the answer comes to me—werebear that are true mates. Andre finishes the song and falls silent. When we reach my dorm, both of us stop. I turn to face him as vapor streams out of his mouth. I ask, “Am I your true mate?”
“Yes.”
I look up to the sky, as if some divine intervention can strike down and save me from my destiny. My previous anger has a small resurge. “I’m not sure what to do with that, but I can tell you one thing—I
do not
belong to you.”
Andre says, “I don’t think you understand. You are mine the way I am yours. It goes both ways.” I frown as I shake my head, and he says, “Our destiny is to be together, but we have the power to change it. I’ve known it since the first time I saw you, and it’s what I want. But only if that’s what you want too.”
“I have a choice?”
“You do.” Andre gazes down at me with such tenderness that my heart hurts, as if a hand is squeezing it. I don’t know what to say, or what to think, and tears of frustration fill my eyes.
Andre strokes my cheek with the back of his hand. I want to pull away, but I lean into his touch instead. He says, “Merry Christmas, Vanessa.”
I step away, and my hands shake as I slide my keycard through the strip reader for the door. When it clicks open, I glance over my shoulder to say, “Merry Christmas, Andre.”