Angel (NSC Industries) (29 page)

 “Oh,
Liv” he sighed and kissed me back with his own heart and soul, his hands
wrapping around me as he lifted me gently and placed me gracefully down onto
his long, thick shaft as I sucked in a breath and arched my back.

His
hands tenderly caressed my breasts as I slowly slid up and down his length. His
lips found mine as he kissed me exquisitely and he moaned against my mouth “I
love you Angel, I love you so much.”

A
tear slid down his cheek and I kissed it away.  My mouth covered his as I tried
to kiss away his pain and torture as I continued to make love to him, sinking
down on him so slowly it was almost painful and his head dropped back against
the rim of the bath as his climax took him, took him away from his own hurt and
heartache and filled him with ecstasy, as mine came powerfully but painfully,
my bruised muscles clenching around my fractured ribs.

I
cried out and sobbed, the tears now finally flowing as I clung to the man I loved,
him still inside me whilst he held me tight, as I rested my forehead on his and
wept uncontrollably and heart wrenchingly. 

“Ssshhh
Baby, I’m sorry” he pleaded as I whimpered and snivelled against him, his hand
sliding up and down my back, “Ssshhh Liv, please Angel, you’re breaking my
heart.”

His
thumbs wiped the tears from my sore cheeks and he placed them on his lips. “I
love you Liv, I’m so sorry, Baby” he murmured as he continued to cover my face
with little kisses “I’m so sorry, Angel.”

My
tears were finally subsiding and I frowned at him. “What are you sorry for
Nate?” I sobbed, trying to catch a breath.

“For
everything, Liv. For being a stupid arsehole and leaving you twenty years ago,
for that fucking bastard to get his claws into you. For not being there when
you and Jay needed me and not being able to protect you both. For not being a
proper Father to Jay and for not getting here fast enough to stop that filthy
cunt get his hands on you.”

His
face was pure rage, sorrow and torment and his pupils were huge and black, the
blue had disappeared completely covered by his fury.

I
leant back and stared at him. “You’re not fucking God, Nate!” I exclaimed,
angry that James had made Nate feel guilty for what he had done, “You
did
get here in time, you got here in time to stop him raping me in front of our
son. Do you know what that means to me, Nate? What it would have done to me if
Jay had watched that?”

I
was so angry I was screaming at him “How is any of this your fucking fault? Eh?
If it’s anybody’s fault it’s mine for not standing up to him and leaving him
sooner. It’s my fucking fault for marrying the bastard and putting up with it for
years because I was a stupid, frightened little woman that couldn’t stand up
for herself.”

My
chest was heaving and I was shaking with rage but not at Nate or James, my fury
was aimed at myself for all the sorry years I had cowed down and took James’s shit.

I
climbed out of the bath and Nate tried to pull me back in. “Don’t touch me,
Nate” I spat, so fucking angry with myself.

 “Liv!
Please, none of this is your fault. It’s him, baby, this is all him” he begged
as he came to embrace me but I pushed him away.

“No,
Nate! It’s my fault that Jay has had too much pain in his life.”

Nate
frowned and shook his head. “Liv! You have done a fucking brilliant job raising
him; you did that all on your own, baby.”

He
was pleading with me now and I shook my head and laughed bitterly, “You have no
fucking idea how bad James was to him Nate, he was cruel and twisted, always trying
to make him cry. If I had been stronger and done what was needed!”

I
swiped my hand across the vanity, scattering the contents over the bathroom
floor. “Baby, please” Nate cried and pinned me in his arms, embracing me
tightly. “Get off me, Nate” I screamed and pushed against him.

“Not
till you calm down” he said calmly.

“
CALM
FUCKING DOWN?
” I thundered, “Calm down? That bastard wanted to rape our son,
Nate!” I screamed as I went into meltdown, wrenching from Nate’s grasp and
destroying the bathroom in a blind fury. 

Gripping
the cabinet and pulling it from the wall I threw it across the room, smashing it
to pieces and smashing bottles as it hit the wall. My fist struck the mirror
and it cracked into a thousand little mirrors, sprinkling over the bathroom
carpet and showering us with a dusting of glass.

I
pummelled the shower cubicle door, cracking it forcibly and cutting my knuckles
to shreds.

“Okay,
that’s enough, baby” Nate said as he grasped me round the waist, flung open the
bathroom door and carried, me kicking and screaming into the bedroom.

He
laid us both down on the bed, me still fighting to let out my rage as he held
me tight and tighter still.

As
my anger subsided my brain started to shut down, it was always the same with
me. It was my coping mechanism and I had always done it much to James fury and
annoyance but it was something I couldn’t control and my body slumped as I passed
out.

Nate
still clung on to me, his own tears and distress controlling him whilst his
body heaved against my motionless body, his mental limit at breaking point as
his own meltdown finally took over.

I
had slept through the afternoon and night, my body needing the rest to recover
and heal itself and I woke with the birds as they sang happily to the rising
sun.

Nate
was curled around me, heavily hugging me to him as he slept and I turned to
face him but he didn’t stir, his beautiful face relaxed and carefree in his
dreams.

I
loved this man with all that I was, he had made me whole and happy again, but I
was just bringing him heartbreak and pain. The torture of my life spilling
freely into his and the agony of that made my heart ache.

His
eyes were flicking under his eyelids, a sign that he was having his own private
vision, a fantasy to escape to away from the nightmare of our lives.

I
smiled softly and left the bed, wrapping myself in my robe and going down to
the kitchen in desperate need of coffee.

Jay
was sat at the kitchen table, staring through the window in a trance and he
didn’t hear me as I walked over and kissed the top of his head, putting my arms
around his shoulders and following the direction of his gaze.

His
arms came to rest over mine as he sighed and rested his head back against me.
“Morning Mum, you feeling better?” he asked softly and I nodded against him.
“You?” I asked back, my gaze dropping to his sore wrists and grimacing at the
sight of them.

He
nodded and rose from his chair. “Coffee?” he smiled and I nodded and sat down
in the chair next to his.

Placing
the mug on the table in front of me he took hold of my hand and held it tight
“I’m so sorry, Mum.”

His
eyes watered and his face crumpled as I shook my head at him, “Don’t Jay, none
of this is your fault. Don’t you dare blame yourself for this” I urged.

The
pain in his face made my chest heave as his fist slammed on the table. “But if
I hadn’t been phone fucking with bloody Jess then I would have been more alert,
I would have seen him before it was too late.”

 I
laughed without humour at his words. “You are so much like your father it’s
frightening. Jay, sweetheart, if you had walked in on guard, with a bloody SAS
back up team, he would have still got to you. He plans things to within a
millimetre, works things over in his mind one hundred times before doing it,
it’s how he always was. Nothing you did or didn’t do would have made a
difference to yesterday, I promise.”

He
squeezed my hand in confirmation. “DC Yale came around last night to take a
statement but you were kind of smashing up the bathroom at the time,” he rolled
his eyes but smiled “she said she’ll ring you today sometime.”

I
nodded and went to refill my mug. “I really think you ought to go and get your
wrists checked, sweetheart” I said and he consciously rubbed at them.

“Nah,
they’re fine but you ought to mum, your lip looks a bit of a mess.” I wrinkled
my nose and shook my head.

“Hey”
I heard Nate say as he entered the kitchen and came over to kiss me. I smiled
and poured him a coffee. “You Okay, Liv?” he asked as he frowned at my battered
appearance. The bruising had worsened overnight and my complete face was
covered in cuts and bruises.

He
sighed and ran his finger delicately over my cheek and across the split on my
lip and I covered his hand with my own, “It looks worse than it feels Nate, I’m
good.”

I
smiled to reassure him and he nodded glumly then turned to Jay “You Okay, Jay?”
he asked as he slipped into a chair.

Jay
nodded “Yeah I’m good. I was just telling Mum that DC Yale came last night but
you were both busy so she’s calling back today.”

 Nate
nodded and sipped his coffee, lost in his own mind for a moment. “Not that
she’ll do anything” Nate murmured, more to himself than us and Jay shrugged and
sighed “She said there was a warrant out for his arrest and they were looking
for him but…” he shrugged again, a defeated look on his face.

We
stood silent for a while and then Jay stood and took something from his
backpack, handing it to Nate “Happy birthday for yesterday.”

He
smiled softly at his dad, as Nate took the card and gift. “Thank you” he
grinned.

“At
least I get to give it you in person this year” Jay smiled and they locked eyes
for a second, each saying lots without words.

Nate
opened the card and then unwrapped the gift. It was a pair of gold cufflinks
with ‘
Dad
’ engraved beautifully into each and Nate stared at them for a
long time, his breathing slow and steady as Jay’s hand came across the table to
cover his Dad’s.

 “Bit
of a shitty birthday though, eh?” Jay said with a huff.

“Actually,
having you both here overshadowed the shit” Nate said as he shrugged and smiled
to himself and then stared at us both in turn, “We won’t let him win, I
promise” he said sternly and determinedly.

Jay
and I shifted our gaze out of the window, both of us not quite having the heart
to dispute Nate’s words.

***

It
was Sunday which meant mine and Beth’s’ weekly get together but it was my turn
to cook and to be honest I was happy for the distraction, working in the
kitchen taking my mind off things for a while.

Beth
arrived and took one look at me as she entered the kitchen through the rear
door. “What the Fuck?” she gasped and I lowered my eyes. “James?” she breathed,
her chest heaving as she bit her lip as I nodded slightly.

She
turned to Nate and narrowed her eyes as he was stood by the fridge. “And where
the hell were you?” she demanded.

“Beth!”
I warned but she shook her head.

“You
are supposed to be taking care of her. Look at her!”

I
grasped her arm. “It wasn’t Nate’s fault Beth, he got to us before anything bad
happened” I told her angrily as Nate looked at the floor and shuffled his feet.

“
Before
anything bad happened, look at the fucking state of you, obviously
something bad had already happened!”

Her
eyes widened. “What do you mean ‘us’?” she asked quietly and I turned away,
knowing how she would react.

“He
got to Jay first” I whispered.

“
WHAT!”
she squealed, her chest heaving. She adored Jay and vice versa, he was the
baby she never had and they had both nurtured a great love for each other.

I
bit my lip and Nate came over to me and slipped his arms around my shoulders.
“Beth” he cautioned as he took in her anger.

“Where
is he?” she wheezed and I gestured to the lounge and as she disappeared through
the door Nate enfolded me in his arms.

 “She
always did have a way of saying things” he sighed.

“She’s
right to be angry at me Nate, I didn’t protect him” I shrugged and he scowled
at me.

“Don’t,
Liv” his lips brushed over mine as my phone rang and he picked it up, checking
the caller display as he passed it me, “DC Yale” he huffed.

 “Hi,
Mandy” I greeted.

“Olivia,
how are you?” she asked and I could hear the concern in her voice. “I’m okay,
any news?” I asked eager to get it over with.

I
heard her sigh which confirmed that no, there was no news or sightings of James.
“I need him caught, Mandy” I said angrily, “He hurt Jay and that’s not
something I want to witness ever again. I need him caught.”

She
repeated her deep sigh, “I know Olivia, we’re trying our best, I promise. I
need to get a statement and photograph your injuries, is there any chance you
can nip into the station today?” she asked hesitantly.

 “Can’t
you do it here?” I asked moaning at the thought of spending yet another day in
the police station. I had internal knowledge of every crack in the walls, every
single scuff marks on the doors and nearly every bloody officer in that place
after all the time I spent there years ago.

“I
can’t Olivia, I need the medic to take a look at you and document all your
injuries. I promise I’ll rush you through so you’re not here too long” she
apologised.

“Okay”
I relented and sighed, “Can we make it about 3, I have lunch to do?” She
confirmed the appointment and ended the call as I stared out of the window.

Nate
took my hand, his thumb skimming over my sore knuckles from the shower door.
“I’ll come with you” he informed me and I nodded as I busied myself with
finishing the lunch, “And then you’re moving back into mine” he added firmly.

***

We
both kissed Jay goodbye as he set off back to university and we headed for the
police station. “Please be careful Jay, stay with your mates at all times” I
told him as I gave him a final hug.

Nate
handed him an envelope as he also embraced him and Jay frowned at him “It’s
nothing, but wait until you get back to open it” Nate winked and then gave me a
flick of his eyes.

Jay
laughed and nodded as he climbed into his car “See you guys later, and Mum,
don’t leave Dad’s side.”

He
drove off as a tear dropped onto my cheek.

Nate
arms settled around my shoulders. “He’ll be fine Liv, he’s sensible and I don’t
think James even knows which uni he’s at.”

I
sighed and shook my head “He didn’t know where I live and my phone number but
it didn’t stop him finding out, did it?”

Nate
placed my bag into his boot and climbed in the car. “Come on, let’s get this
over with” he grumbled. I knew it was hard for him, knowing what I was going to
have to go through at the station and that he wouldn’t be allowed to go into
the interview room with me.

I
grabbed his hand and turned to him “Nate, it’ll be fine, I promise. I’ve done
this before and it’s not so bad.” I forced a smile and he nodded but I could
tell he knew I was lying to protect him.

He
set off and was silent all the way to the station, the quiet was making me
nervous and I was quite moody by the time we got there.

As
we walked through the doors to reception he took my hand but I shook it off, I
was annoyed at him for making me feel guilty for upsetting him and making him
worry. I felt as though it was an effort for him to be there for me, awkward
for him to walk into a police station and his mood made me feel accountable for
having to bring him here.

He
tried to take my hand again as I walked over to the front desk and I glared at
him. “Liv?” he questioned with a frown and I just shook my head at him and
turned to the desk duty sergeant.

 “Hi,
Olivia Adams to see DC Yale” I smiled and he gestured to seat in the waiting
area, “Take a seat and I’ll let her know you are here” he smiled warmly.

The
waiting area consisted of two chairs and a couch so I chose a chair, not having
the nerve to sit next to Nate without starting an argument.

He
narrowed his eyes at me and leaned over to whisper “Liv, what’s wrong?” 

I
rolled my eyes and scoffed. “Don’t Nate, not here” I hissed and he glared at me.

“What?”
he said quietly as his eyebrows hit his hairline and I shook my head at him and
turned away.

He
rose from the couch and came to my side, squatting low next to me he tried to
take my hand but I refused to let him. “Baby, what have I done?”

I
huffed and glared at him, “If you didn’t want to come with me Nate, you should
have said, I didn’t mind coming on my own but you said you wanted to come with
me.”

He
frowned. “What are you on about? I told you I’d come” he said but looked a
little shamefaced and it confirmed my thoughts on him being embarrassed to be
here.

 “Well
I’ve got enough on my plate without having to cow down to your bloody mood
Nate, just go home if you’re ashamed to be here.”

 I
was pissed now, I could read each of his thoughts in his face and it hurt that
he was more bothered about being in a police station then being here to support
me.

 “Liv…”
he started but Mandy walked through the double doors and smiled at me. “You
wanna come through Olivia?” she gestured with her arm for me to follow and Nate
got up to come with me.

“Don’t
bother Nate, go home and I’ll see you there later” I snapped and the hurt in
his face was visible now but I had enough emotions running through me without
guilt adding to it.

He
stood with his arms by his side as I walked passed him and followed Mandy.

 I
saw his hand reach towards me but he dropped it and bit his lip and then the
doors shut behind me as I felt alone for the first time in weeks.