Angel of Mine (15 page)

Our footsteps echoing off the walls in the corridors get louder, and the girl’s cries fade away the further we go. The doctor isn’t doing his rounds for a couple of hours yet so I have a while to stay in the cafeteria pretending life is normal, and to try to forget about the problems that loom so heavily over my head.

There are no actions to take until the results of my bone marrow biopsy come back. A transfusion fixed the small haemorrhage I had suffered in my lungs due to my platelet level dropping. All I could do now was try to be patient, and keep my anxiety in check while I waited for the results.

As hard as the possible impending doom was to stomach, I had learned a long time ago that worrying before we knew the facts would not do me any good. My energy was better focused on managing my frame of mind, on staying positive and strong so that I could put all my efforts into getting better.

This time in the cafeteria would benefit me greatly, and it helped a lot towards normalcy that I didn’t have to wear a hospital gown until treatments begin.

We stepped into the clinical looking lift, and the metal silver doors shut behind us. As I press the button for level one, Alex passes me my mobile phone. “I had a visit from Ally before I came back today.” My head swings around to look at him. “She was wondering why you didn’t show up for your date. I explained to her that we had some family matters come up, and you had to leave town unexpectedly. I promised her that I would get your mobile phone to you so you could call her when possible.”

He looks up at me, gauging my reaction as he informs me, “I didn’t tell her where we were or what was wrong.”

Relief floods through me. My shoulders relax, but I am still determined to get my point across. “She can never find out Alex. Do you understand me? This is very important. I don’t want her to know.”

The elevator door pings open but I continue to stare at him expectantly while waiting for his answer. He looks confused, surprised, and upset all at the same time; I don’t know what to make of it. The next words he utters are not what I expect to come out of his mouth at all. “Umm, it might be a little too late for that my friend.”

Too late? I thought he just said he hadn’t told her?
“What do you mean? I thought you just said…” My query stops as he takes me by the shoulders and spins me around, leaving me face to face with a gobsmacked Ally.

We both just stand there with our jaws dropped, unmoving and silent, until I feel Alex shove me out of the elevator. My brain is working overtime and I think I can play this off so she won’t realize why I am here. I hope that Alex will catch my drift and play along.

I’m glad that I’m not in one of those stupid hospital gowns at this point. Otherwise, this would never work. Trying as hard as possible to keep eye contact and not look like a liar, I start to spin my story.

“Ally, what are you doing here? I’m here for a family member. I don’t…” My gaze doesn’t hold and as it falls to her hands and sees them covered in blood, I choke on my words.

Rushing to her side, I pick up her hands and rake over every inch of her skin to see what is wrong. “Your hands. There is so much blood. Are you okay? Are you hurt? What happened? What did you do Ally?”

She looks down at her hands as though she didn’t even realize or had forgotten blood covered them and then shakes her head. “Oh that. It’s not important; I’m fine. Is someone in your family sick?” She lowers her voice. “What’s wrong? You know I can help them. Just let…”

I shake her hands slightly under my grip to get her attention back to the most important thing here and cut off her ridiculous offer before she can finish making it. “No,” I say sternly. “Tell me what happened to your hands.”

A worried look passes over her face and she starts talking to her feet in a mumble so quick I can hardly understand her. “It’s not what you think. I was following Alex here and my car died and I was walking and I heard this noise and…”

Am I hearing all this right? Cutting her off, I try to make sense of what she is saying and encourage her to get to the point. “You followed Alex? Wait, that doesn’t even matter. Stop stalling Ally.
Why. Are. Your. Hands. Bleeding?
” I stress each word, hoping she understands. I want to know and I want to know now. I’m sick of her putting her safety on the back burner. I’m still holding on to her wrists and not letting go until I find out what’s wrong. I’m determined to get to the bottom of this.

“On the way here, there was a man in an alleyway; he’d been shot.” My heart rate picks up and my eyes widen in alarm.

“Oh God, please tell me you didn’t.”

I scan her hands again and then the rest of her for bullet wounds as she goes on. “No, I didn’t do what you think. I knew I couldn’t get to you if I was dying in an alleyway. I called him an ambulance. Like I said, I’m fine.”

I’m still not convinced though. “Why is there blood all over your hands? Did you try?”

“It was on the phone he passed to me to talk to the ambulance officers.” Her voice trails off as she says this and I realize she is staring at my arm. The arm I had a cannula in when I got here, and the vein collapsed causing a nasty bruise.
Busted. Shit.
Taking a deep breath, I try to think quickly on my feet of how to get out of this.

She starts barraging me with questions before I get the chance to say anything though. “It’s not a family member is it? It’s you. Why do you have bruises on your arm? What’s going on? Are you hurt? Are you sick?”

I feel the warmth from her hands start to course through me just before they start to glow faintly. I drop them like hotcakes. “No, Ally. Just walk away. You are not helping me. I won’t let you.” Backing up a few steps, I try to ask her politely to leave. “I think it’s best if you just go Ally. It’s not safe for you here.”

Her stubborn streak comes out, and she raises her voice and steps closer towards me again. “I’m not leaving. Tell me what’s wrong. I’m going to help, and I’m not giving you a choice.”

The only way my panicked brain can think of to get her out of here is to offend her and get her away as soon as possible. “Ally, this was never serious. You need to leave; you’re not welcome here. This is for me, and my family to deal with. I want you to go.” The lie burns like acid as it comes out of my mouth. Her face twists in anger and determination.

“Stop denying your heart.” She is screaming at me now. “Whatever it is, we can overcome it. Let me in. Let me help,” she implores with me, but she can never help me. Never. I won’t allow it. At the same time, I can’t let her go on without telling her just how much she means to me.

My eyes lock in on hers. “I love you more than anyone else ever will. Can’t you see that? I dream about you at night, and I think about you first thing in the morning.
I. Love. You
. I love you like breathing. How can I stop? This is why I need you to leave. Please leave for me.”

As I wipe away the single tear rolling down her face, she leans in close and pleads a whisper in my ear, “Let me love you.” My heart feels like it’s in a vice as I shake my head. I run my hand down her face, memorizing every beautiful inch of it and bend down to place a kiss on her forehead.

“I will always love you Ally, but you can’t stay. It’s better this way, trust me.”

With great difficulty, I turn and leave her with tears of sorrow silently cascading down her face. I leave my heart right there with her and keep moving forward, one foot in front of the other. I briefly notice Alex’s puzzled face as he helps guide me away, and I don’t miss the look of sympathy he gives Ally either. I just have to keep telling myself, it is better this way.

“I don’t get it. Why didn’t you just tell her? She was so upset. Were you trying to protect her feelings? Cause I could already see her heart breaking right there in front of you. I don’t mean to make you feel bad, but jeez, she deserves to know Theo.” It’s later that night, and Alex and I sit down to have a heart to heart. He had waited for Mum and Dad to leave the room for dinner, and then dove right in with his opinion.

“You don’t understand. There are reasons I don’t want her to know. It will just make things worse. Trust me Alex and leave this alone.”

Flustered, he throws his hands up in the air. “Fine.” If he had more information he would understand why I want it this way but I can’t tell him. The less people that know, the safer Ally is. It’s not that I don’t trust my brother, but he might accidentally slip up when he doesn’t mean to. “I’m gonna go grab something from the candy machine. You want anything?”

“Yeah, get me a Mars bar.”

No doubt still annoyed at my vague explanation, he nods and leaves the room.

Shivering in the cold, I glare at the candy machine and jingle the few coins sitting at the bottom of my pocket. My stomach is rumbling, the hard bench seat I’m perched on is giving me a numb bum, and even worse is the cold cement wall of the building where I lean. I’m so uncomfortable and it seems like I’ve been waiting out here in the dark for hours.

The parking meter probably ran out a long time ago and no doubt, my mum is worried sick, especially since she can’t get a hold of me. Half expecting her to show up here to look for me, I slink back up against the wall and continue to wait.

Finally, I see him appear. His head hangs low to his chest and he looks all doom and gloom as he walks out the double glass doors and into the night. As soon as he is near enough I pounce. “Alex, hi. Can I talk to you a minute please?” He stops dead in his tracks staring up at me.

Shock registers all over his face and he turns, gazing longingly back to the safety of the waiting room as though he might make an attempt to escape at any given moment. He must feel loyalty towards his brother after what went down earlier and not want the guilt talking to me will bring.

“Please Alex,” I implore. “I think I might be able to help Theo, but I need to know what’s going on.” He looks pissed off all of a sudden. His eyes have formed into slits and his arms are firmly folded across his chest. I assume it’s because he thinks I am giving him false hope.

“How? How do you think you can possibly help Ally?” He spits out. How can he possibly understand without me going ahead and showing him? He will think I’m crazy if I try to explain.

Deciding that actions speak louder than words, I pull my keys out of my pocket, they have a pocketknife on them that Mum keeps in case of emergencies. I’ve always laughed at her because she fancies herself as the female version of MacGyver, but she insists with the way we always find ourselves in strange situations it’s best to be prepared in whatever ways we can. I’m not laughing at her now, that’s for sure. “Do you trust me Alex?”

He looks back and forth between the keys and me suspiciously. “Are we going on a drive somewhere?”

“No, my car broke down a couple of blocks away. I actually stumbled across you guys here by accident trying to find a pay phone.” Then before he has the chance to realize what’s happening, I flick the blade of the pocketknife open. It catches his eye briefly as it glints in the light from the overhead fluorescents, and then I slash it across his lower leg. No way would he have let me do that if I were polite enough to ask first.

Quick as a flash he jumps back, “Far out, you crazy bitch. What on earth do you think you’re doing?” Holding his hands up in a defensive mode, he waits for my answer cautiously.

Throwing the knife to the ground to prove I’m no longer a threat, I state simply “Trust me, for Theo’s sake.” He goes to say something else. The words are stuck in his throat as he notices the unmistakable glow coming off my hands. I crouch down and slowly inch closer towards him.

Somewhere in the background, I hear his sharp intake of breath as I bathe in the warm glow that comes of healing someone. My eyes are closed and a smile splays across my face for those few split seconds before the stinging hits me across my leg, and I wince.

Opening my eyes, all that I see left on Alex’s leg is a few drops of blood trickling down onto his sock. Lifting the leg of my pants so he can get the full effect of exactly what has just occurred, I rise to meet his confused face.

He has the usual wide eyes of course, but something else is in them that I don’t usually see as a response to my gift. Hope. Hope is prominent in his eyes.