Angel of Mine (2 page)

I push the food around my plate with a fork, not actually eating. The smell of butter chicken is wafting through the air, but it is not enticing me. An uneasy feeling rolls around in my gut. I just want to get this over.

“Ally, you know I have always tried to do what is best for you,” Mum begins. Cringing, I slide further down in my chair. “In the past, you have been too young to understand the depths of the problems that may arise when you help people.” She pauses, staring at me and tapping her nails on the tabletop, clearly irritated that I am not paying her enough attention.

Agitated by the whole conversation and the ongoing tap, tap, tap of her nails, I continue to frustrate her by fixing my eyesight on my thumbs, twiddling them in my lap. Realizing she is not going to get my attention anymore then she already has, she goes on, “However, I am aware I can’t protect you forever. You need to start living in the outside world on your own.”

Letting hope trickle in, I raise my head slightly. It suddenly feels lighter, and I let an enormous grin slowly cover my face. My sullen mood disappears, replaced with the erratic thump of my heart. I can see Mum is struggling with this, so I try to contain my excitement. With her features and posture wound tightly, she tries to hide her distress from me. She can’t quite mask the glazed over look in her eyes. I know she just wants to wrap me up and keep me safe.

Reaching across to hug her, I summon up as much conviction as I can muster. “It will be okay Mum. We will take it slowly, one step at a time.” She hugs me back tightly and then relaxes. I feel more elated than I have in years.

Keeping my promise to Mum of starting out slow, I told her I would take a short walk to the park near our house. I reasoned that it would be harmless and uneventful in the middle of a weekday. With a spring in my step, I bounded out the door towards my destination, calling over my shoulder that I wouldn’t be any more than half an hour.

With plenty of time to spare, I knew I could afford a few stolen moments of peace lazing in the open space. Lying down, I lean back on my elbows and admire the towering oak tree hovering over me. If the size is any indication, it must be hundreds of years old. Others just like it are scattered all around the edges of the fields. Through the branches and leaves, in varying degrees of greens, browns and oranges, I see glimpses of blue from the sky above. Puffy white clouds are drifting by, continuously changing shape. This doesn’t seem like much, but to me it is so beautiful to be able to enjoy this moment.

My arms are itchy from the ground beneath me, and my hair blows across my face from the light breeze, but I don’t care. I am out of the house, on my own. I inhale deeply, and that glorious clean smell of nature instantly rewards me, and I can even notice the hints of bark in the air from the tree behind me. I sigh,
Ahh freedom
, it’s fabulous.

Dropping my gaze to scan the rest of the area, I find that it is fairly empty. The only sound is the leaves rustling in the wind, and I enjoy the silence. I think it is safe to say that the chances of me having to fight the urge to use my ability and help a person are slim. Closing my eyes, I relax and sink back into the grass. I feel the occasional autumn leaf float by as it falls to the ground. My body goes lax as I soak in the peaceful surroundings.

I may have assured to Mum that this would be uneventful, but to me, this is the most exciting thing that I have done all year. No, make that the last ten years. I have led a mostly sheltered existence up until now. I am ecstatic to be out on my own, even if it is just here in the park.

Voices in the distance rouse me from my mind’s wanderings, and make me more alert, even though their proximity is not close enough to make me look up. My mind lingers on the tone of a guy’s voice. It is deep and gravely, soothing me, making me feel as though it is wrapping around me like a caress. Curiosity gets the better of me, and I peer over.

Wow
! The view is magnificent. He looks even finer than he sounds. All tan, lean, and muscular, with scruffy brown hair and that’s just the back of him. I need to stop gawking. I strongly suspect that I may actually be drooling too. How attractive of me.

As I ogle this exceptional guy playing football with whom I assume is a friend, I wipe at my traitorous mouth with the back of my hand and slide further back into the shadow of the tree. I tell myself I am not being a stalker; I just do not want him to notice me. If I get up and walk straight past them, I will undoubtedly draw unwanted attention to myself. It is not an option, so I press into the rough bark of the oak tree and stay put.

As much as I wanted to be amongst the outside world, I am still extremely shy and not accustomed to interacting with others. This smoking hot guy is unquestionably not whom I fancy introducing me into the social world. The thought gives me sweaty palms and makes me nervous as hell.

I may have been a recluse for most of my life, although, as innocent as this may have made me, it does not mean I have not had dreams of knowing what it is like to be in the arms of a man. Maybe all the pent up frustration I have from never getting to experience this is why I have a bizarre urge to move closer to him.

The friend he is with doesn’t seem to have the same pull on what I assume is my hormones, though he is equally good looking.
How odd
. Knowing I would ramble like a bumbling idiot if I went over to him stops my urge to go near. I remind myself I am taking baby steps; there is no rush.

“Ally, Ally,” I am jolted out of my trance by my mother rushing over to me, panic lacing her voice. Through her heavy breathing, she conveys what is wrong, “I was so worried about you. You said you would only be gone half an hour, and I tried to call your phone, only to realize you left it at home, and…” her hands are flying around, trying to emphasize her spiel. She is rapidly becoming hysterical and making no sense.

“Mum, slow down. Why are you so upset? I’ve only been gone for…” I glance down at my watch.
Three hours? Oh my goodness, I have been here, zoned out on ‘Mr. Hottie’ for three whole hours?
Averting my eyes, I let out a guilty, “Oh.” Wrapping my arms around her, I rub soothing circles on her back with my palm until her breathing is back to normal. The refreshing smell of her light, floral perfume leads me to stay there a bit longer before I pull back and start apologizing profusely. When my conscious eases slightly, I hold my hand out to her, stare back at the makeshift footy field one last time, and then say, “I am sorry to have worried you. Come on Mum, let’s go home.” 

My lungs are burning as I drag massive gulps of air down my throat. I can almost taste the sunshine as it beats down on me, causing sweat to stream down my neck. Glancing across the expanse of the parklands, I take a moment to admire the endless fields surrounded by towering, strong oak trees before I take off. Just one more lap, I can do this.

Circumstances have shown me that you cannot control everything that happens to you. That will not stop me from pushing my body to the limits, and making it do what I want it to. Motivation courses through me as I push even harder to get where the football landed.

As I slow down and reach to pick it up, I notice a commotion on the other side of the park. A woman is speeding towards some chick under the oak tree. Her arms are flailing, and her voice is loud but trembling at the same time. The shadows partially hide them, and even as I squint, I cannot quite see what is going on. Something is obviously the matter. Before I get a chance to worry too much and wonder if I should offer help, I see their silhouetted forms hugging, and they seem calmer.

As they start to walk away, I turn to my brother Alex, kick the ball towards him, and jog over. “Wonder what all that was about?” He questions motioning with a nod of his head to where the same scene I just witnessed took place.

My only response is to shrug my shoulders and say, “Dunno man.”

I’ve had enough for the day. “We better head back before our own mum turns ten shades of crazy on us.”

Home. Nothing about this place screams home to me yet. I step around a pile of boxes we have yet to unpack; dust and musty odours permeate the air. Dropping to the couch, I wiggle around to get comfortable, and descend further into the plump suede cushions. Heaven. I could happily sit my ass down here all day.
Shoot, if only the TV were set up.

As I survey my surroundings, I notice the fireplace. It has an old stone hearth. The large stones range in different shades of grey, and appear cool and smooth, inviting me to run my hands over them, although I am far too exhausted and lazy to move. It has me itching to turn all pyromaniac. It’s a shame that it’s not anywhere near cold enough to use yet.

My gaze drifts upward, taking in the high ceilings and wooden panelling, then back down again to meet the bare walls.

The house is a blank canvas, and it is the perfect place for a fresh start. I can tell I am going to like it here. Mum was right; we needed to start anew. Too many unpleasant memories filled the old place.

I hear the shuffling of feet in the hall moments before Mum calls out, “Theo?”

“In here Mum,” I shout.

Mum enters the room with a frown plastered on her face. “I hope you didn’t push yourself too hard. How are you feeling?”

I shift uncomfortably where I sit. I honestly wish everyone would quit fussing over me and dwelling on the past. I don’t like feeling weak and babied; I want to be strong and independent again. I need to move forward and to concentrate on right now. “I am feeling good, stop worrying so much.” I try to convince her, but I don’t think speaking tightly through clenched teeth helped my argument.

“Give the guy some space Mum.” Alex comes to my aid. “Are we on for another game again tomorrow bro? I want to make the most of my freedom before I have to go back to school.”

Mum is shaking her head as she walks away, but she manages to bite her tongue.

“You bet,” I reply with enthusiasm.