Angel of Mine (30 page)

At that moment, Joe comes through the room with two ambulance officers in tow and Mum starts to crumple to the floor. Rachel tries to catch her but ends up being pulled down with her. They are a tangle of limbs, a crying mess on the floor.

Rachel doesn’t even bother to help Mum up, she just pulls her close and holds her tight, repeating herself over and over, “Shh it’s ok. I’ve got you. Everything will be alright.”

But that’s just the thing, everything won’t be alright. I may feel indifferent to this man I don’t know, but I’m sad at the thought that I will never get the chance to know him. He must have cared if he came back and sacrificed his life for me,
right?

An emotion other the shock is finally starting to register. My heart rips from its place in my chest and bounces all over the place. Painful thuds beat as the raw realization that this is all happening too fast hits home. If that sudden realization weren’t cruel enough, my father is wheeled out on a stretcher at that exact moment. “Can you put me down now please Theo?” My eyes are glued to my father while I ask, but I can feel him looking intently down at me.

“Not yet, but when your father leaves. I’m sorry Ally, but it’s for your own good.” I throw a murderous glance his way. I’m not a baby. The scowl doesn’t last long enough to get my point across though because a choking sound from across the room steals my attention.

Harsh faltering breaths sound from my father under an oxygen mask that doesn’t seem to be helping at all. His skin is a distinct shade of bluish purple and my stomach turns. I taste vomit in my mouth and force myself to swallow it back down. That could have been me.

“Ally, look at me sweetie. Don’t you dare feel bad. He didn’t want that to be you.” Theo sweeps the hair off my face and captures my gaze. I allow myself to get lost in the love I see in his eyes because looking anywhere else hurts too damn much. I know that probably makes me a horrible person, but I can only take so much.

“I’m coming too.” Mum jumps up off the floor with a newfound courage. I’m glad she doesn’t have my ability or I would be a little scared she might use it.

I don’t want Mum going alone in her state, but if I go with her, my hands will want to do their magic of their own accord. “Theo, can you go with her?” I plead.

“I’m not leaving your side right now Ally.” He looks up and around the room before settling on Rachel. “Mum? Do you mind?”

“Of course not.” They both follow my father out the door, and Theo finally puts me down on the couch. The last chance of ever getting to know my father is literally being wheeled out the door. My heart is seizing up, and all I want to do is cling to Theo for dear life. I’m starting to hyperventilate, so I pull in deep breaths to try to calm myself down.

I look towards the front door where everyone disappeared. I want to go with them, but my glowing hands may cause a problem. They are still lit up like a Christmas tree even though the ambulance would have already driven away.

“Ally, I will take you to the hospital so you can see what is going on and support your mum, but I’m not letting you close enough to heal him, okay? I’m sorry, but I’m not letting your put your life in jeopardy again.”

Once I have gained enough composure we hop in the car and make our way to the hospital, the trip passing in a blur.

We walk in the main entrance, and the air is dense with a smell so sterile it makes my eyes water. Or maybe they were already teary anyway. The clinical feel of the bland walls, floors and plastic chairs give no warmth, and I shiver as the coldness slowly creeps in. It wraps around my heart like a vice, pulling tight and blocking out all feeling while continuously squeezing.

Everything feels surreal as if I am watching it from the outside looking in. When Mum comes out to the waiting area with Rachel, the blank look on her face tells me all I need to know.

“I’m so sorry Ally. Your dad died an honourable man.” Theo whispers in my ear. He doesn’t take his hand off me. It stays firmly planted on my back even as I hug my mother, comforting me as only he can. “Do you want to go say good-bye before we leave? I’ll be right by your side, whatever you want to do.”

I shudder at the thought of seeing this lifeless man, lying so cold and still. He is my father though, even if I never knew him. When it counted, he was there. He saved my life. “Yeah, I think I do.”

He squeezes my shoulder gently, bringing me further comfort and continues to take care of my mother and me when we are unable to do so ourselves. Now I know where the saying ‘to be someone’s rock’ came from. He’s not just my rock. He is my moon, my sun, the air I breathe, my entire world.

“Alex and Dad are on their way. Did you want to get a lift back with them and we will meet you at home?” He asks Rachel. He thinks of everything, what would I do without him?

We look at Mum to see what she wants to do, but she is numb to all that is going on around her. Rachel takes matters into her own hands and leads her out the door.

I don’t understand why she is so upset. Dad and her split a long time ago. Is she feeling guilty that she wanted him to die in my place? That must be it. What else could it be?

After they leave, Theo asks the receptionist at the front desk where we need to go. “Can you please tell me what room Jeff Roberts is in?” She widens her eyes and darts a glance over towards the back door as if she wants to bolt.

Finally, she moves around the desk to stand in front of us. “Umm,” she hesitates. “Why don’t you two take a seat for a moment and I will just go get the doctor for you?”

She looks really uncomfortable until Theo leans in and murmurs so softly he thinks I won’t hear, “We are already aware he passed, Ally would like to say good- bye to her father.”

“Oh,” she straightens her posture, looking embarrassed and offers an apology, “I’m so sorry for your loss. Please follow me and I will take you to him.” The clickety clack of her heels distracts me, drilling into my brain as we make our journey. I concentrate on the aggravating noise; I welcome it. There are three hundred and twelve clickety-clacks from the front desk to my father’s room, I know, because I counted them.

Theo squeezes his hand in mine giving me the support I need to be able to walk through the door. My father lays perfectly motionless, with bluish skin and unblinking eyes. My stomach twists and my legs wobble, but just as Theo promised, he is right there, holding me close and keeping me together.

At one time, this may have been my father, but he’s not here anymore. The only life left in this room is Theo and me. He’s out there somewhere, just not here. I can’t do this now, but when I’m ready to say good-bye, I’m sure he will hear me, where ever he is.

“Get me out of here.” Theo tucks me under his arm, no questions asked, and we both walk out of the hospital in full health.

I turn the envelope over and over in my hands. We got home a few hours ago, and Mum is taking a nap. She was finally able to rest after Rachel gave her something to help her sleep. Theo thinks I’m asleep too, but I saw this letter on the desk and have been focusing on the name scrawled across the front ever since.
ALTHEA.

He was willing to save my life, but didn’t even know my name? Conflicted between hurt and gratefulness, I rip the letter open to see what he has to say for himself. My hands shake slightly, and I snuggle into the giant teddy bear beside me for comfort.

I’m so glad Theo was thoughtful enough to bring it here for me while I was unwell. It had been in bed with me almost every night since he won it for me at the fair and it is good to have it back. It instantly makes me feel calmer, and I am able to get the letter unfolded.

My Dearest Althea,

The day you were born, you filled a piece of my heart I never knew was missing. You brought me more joy than I ever knew was possible. I felt so much pride in what I had helped create that I couldn’t contain it. Tears of happiness overflowed as I tried to work out how I got so lucky. You were a miracle, perfect in every way.

It was a hardship to leave the hospital room, even only 20 meters away to the cafeteria. But after forty eight hours of watching over the two of you, I was asleep on my feet, and I slipped out to get a coffee as you slept peacefully in your mother’s arms. Not before taking yet another photo though.

While I was gone, the unthinkable happened. A bus full of children had crashed, causing the hospital to go into code red. As the first ambulance full of children arrived, my hands started to glow.

Their injuries were horrific, and I ached for these innocent little souls who were another parent’s pride and joy. I couldn’t fathom how I would feel if that were you.

I was torn between helping them and going back to you and your mum. You needed me too.

While I stood indecisive, a reporter covering the accident found me and my glowing hands. I was petrified the unwanted attention would bring harm to you or your mum. You two girls mean the world to me. I couldn’t risk someone trying to get to me through you. I had to leave for your own safety.

I peeked back in on you both before I left and you were still soundly asleep. With the camera as my only memory of the two of you and how wonderful my life once was, I headed out the door, knowing my life would never be as full of love ever again.

On my way out of the maternity ward, I dropped the birth certificate forms off with the midwife. In the certainty that you would bring joy, and in the hope that you would be able to heal your mum’s broken heart in my absence, I named you after the Greek goddess of healing, Althea.

Never in million years did I ever entertain the idea that you would have the same ability as me. I’m ashamed of myself for not checking up on you to find out. Going near would have meant I wouldn’t be able to leave again, and I still had it in my head I needed to stay away and keep you safe. If I had known you were having the same struggles as me, I would have been back in an instant.

The most important piece of advice I can give you now that I am aware of what you can do is this, you CAN NOT save everybody. Your health and safety comes first. Please do not throw your life away. I’m proud of your selfless notions, but stop being the martyr. You deserve a long healthy, happy life just as much as anyone else.

Over the years, I have never stopped loving you and your mum. Each day that passed has been harder than the last, until today, when I make my way back to you.

Even though I will only get to see you both for a very short time, it will be one of the happiest days of my existence. To finally be reunited with you and to be able to make a difference in your life brings me peace and happiness. Please never feel bad about the gift I am about to give to you. It is something I not only need to do, but want to, as well. Go on and be happy; live your life and live it for you.

I love you Althea.

Love Dad.

The last lines of the letter are read through blurred tears. They stream down my face and wash away all the pain I had buried so deeply. With trembling hands, I fold the paper back up and return it to the envelope, when something falls out, a photo, a worn picture that has been held and looked at repeatedly. I am cradled in Mum’s arms as a baby, in a hospital bed. I flip it over and find the date on the back, my birthday. Then run my fingers over the words written underneath,
my heart and my soul.

My mum’s cell phone sits vibrating on the kitchen bench, again. After being continuously ignored, it has moved about a meter, and I am scared it is going to fall off any minute. When I go to move it to safety, the name ‘work’ flashes across the screen, the same as the last ten times it rang.

“Mum do you want me to get that for you?” She doesn’t even bother to look up; she maintains her vigil on the couch staring into the fireplace. There isn’t even a fire burning.

“No honey, it’s okay. I’ll deal with it later.” That has been her standard response the last week.