Angel of the Cove (26 page)

He turned and strode toward the church. He had better things to do than to stand around reliving the events of the day.

As he stepped onto the porch of the church, he spied a basket of apples by the door and remembered Sadie Carter telling him she had
brought some from their tree for him. He picked one from the basket and groaned. The memory of peeling apples with Anna and her wrapping a handkerchief around his cut finger the first day she came to Granny's flashed in his mind.

His shoulders drooped with the weight of defeat. Why was he trying to fool himself into believing something that wasn't true? He knew he'd fallen in love with Anna the day he met her. Maybe if they'd had more time she could have come to love him, but circumstances he couldn't control had put that to an end.

Staying away from her had seemed a good idea at first, but now he wished he'd gone back again and again until he'd worn her resistance down. It was too late now. From the look in her eyes this afternoon, it was clear she hated him.

Something pulled at him to enter the church where he had preached for the last three years. He stepped inside and let his gaze drift over the interior. The old remorse rose in him, and he realized it wasn't only Anna that troubled him so. It was also the secret he harbored and only spoke of with God.

The small cross on the table at the front drew him forward. He moved to stand in front of it. The Bible next to it lay open, and he picked it up and sat down on the step leading to the pulpit.

The late afternoon sun shone through the windows, illuminating the pages. He began to flip through the Bible, then stopped, closed his eyes, and stared upward for a moment.

“God, I hope You don't get tired of me asking You the same thing over and over. It's just that I need to understand what it is You want from me. I've tried to be your man here, but the people of the Cove don't need me. Most of them are Christians and show it in their lives. I haven't been able to figure out why You keep me here. My teachers at Milligan said I was going to pastor big churches and lead lots of souls to You. Instead You brought me back here, and it's beginning to look like I'm not going anywhere. The only thing I can figure out is that You're keeping me here so I can reach Luke. If that's Your plan, help me. His heart gets harder every day. I've tried everything with him, but he won't listen. Show me what to do, Lord.”

Simon sat still and waited, but no answer came to mind. He sighed. That's the way it usually was when he had this conversation with God. Perhaps in time God would reveal what he needed to do to reach Luke. But with every passing day, Luke drank more and grew more hard-hearted toward his wife and children.

Today had been the worst Simon had seen, and he wondered what had happened when the Jacksons reached their farm. Probably the same as always. Naomi and Matthew would put Luke to bed, where he would sleep off his intoxication. Then tomorrow he would rise, kiss Naomi, and play with Eli. He might even take Matthew hunting. And for a few days life at the Jackson farm would be happy until the urge for a drink took Luke back to Wear's Valley.

He was sorry Anna had to see Luke drunk again, but she had no way of knowing how penitent he could be when he sobered up. That was what made Naomi go home with him. She lived for the good days, and tomorrow would be one.

Simon sighed and glanced upward again. “Then there's Anna, God. I have to confess ever since Anna came to the Cove I've had my mind on her, and I haven't paid attention to the rest of the congregation like I should have. I'm sorry about that. Help me to get her out of my mind, Lord. I can't stand thinking about her any longer. It's about to drive me crazy.”

He jumped up from where he sat and paced back and forth across the front of the church, one hand clutching the Bible and the other gesturing back and forth. “I just want to forget about her. Erase her from my head like she never existed. That's what I need.”

Simon dropped back down on the step and glanced at the page where his fingers rested. He pulled the Bible closer and began to read from Proverbs 31. The words at verse ten jumped off the page at him.
Who can find a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies.

The words sliced through his soul. Guilt washed over him. Ever since she'd come to the Cove, Anna had worked hard to learn everything Granny taught her. All she wanted was to help other people, and he'd accused her of being selfish. There was nothing farther from the truth. She was a virtuous woman.

He turned the pages of the Bible until he found the chapter he'd preached from last Sunday, Romans 14. He glanced down the page, his eyes coming to rest on verse nineteen.
Let us therefore follow after the things which make for peace, and things wherewith one may edify another
.

He'd preached on those words in hopes they would touch the lives of his congregation, but he had failed to apply that truth in his own life. Anna had approached him several times to try and mend their broken friendship, and he had refused. Maybe she was right to accuse him of having a mean streak.

His eyes closed, and he fell on his knees before the altar of his church. “Oh, God, forgive me,” he cried. “I've been the selfish one. I've been angry because I didn't get what I wanted, and I've hurt everyone around me. Help me to make peace with Anna and be her friend. Give me the strength to help her while she's here…and then to let her go when the time comes.”

Simon stayed that way for a long time and thought about Anna and his actions of the past few weeks. Anna had been honest with him from the first day they met, and he'd ignored her words. He owed her an apology. And in his self-pity, he'd ignored Granny, who treated him like a son. He needed to make that right too. And then there were John and Martha. They'd loved him even when he wasn't lovable.

He rose from his knees, looked upward, and swallowed hard. “Well, God, I don't know how You plan to help me reach Luke, but You've given me the answer to what I need to do about Anna. I have a lot to make up for, and I guess there's no time like the present to get started.”

Granny pulled the buggy to a stop at the back of the house and glanced over at Anna. “Want to git out here, child? After I git this here horse settled I'll come on in, and you can talk to me if you want.”

Anna smiled at her. “Thanks, Granny. I'll take the basket inside.”

Anna climbed out of the buggy, grabbed the basket, and trudged to the back door. The excitement she'd felt earlier when she left for the picnic was gone, and in its place one of the greatest heartaches she'd ever experienced.

In the kitchen the basket slipped from her fingers and clattered to the floor. With a sigh she looked at the spilled contents, dropped to her knees, and scooped up the scattered dishes.

It seemed everything today had ended in disaster, but the leftover food lying on the kitchen floor was hardly as bad as what happened at the picnic. With both of them still upset over their last meeting, today she and Simon had managed to destroy a friendship she thought meant a lot to both of them.

With the angry exchange still ringing in her ears, she wiped the floor and sank down in a chair at the table. Her stomach churned when she remembered accusing him of having a mean streak. She knew that wasn't true. In the weeks since she'd known him he'd never been anything but a gentleman.

But then he'd said she was selfish. Was she? Had she encouraged him when she knew she would leave at the end of the summer? Her head hurt from pondering the questions, and she rubbed her fingers across her forehead.

“You all right, Anna?” Granny wrapped her arm around Anna's shoulders.

Anna sobbed and pressed her body next to Granny. “Oh, Granny, I didn't mean to make Simon angry with me. I don't know what's wrong with him.”

Granny patted her shoulders as she cried. When Anna finally pulled away, Granny sat down and reached across to hold her hand. “Darlin', I seen you and Simon together since you been here, and I reckon he's right taken with you. I 'spect he's mighty upset 'cause you don't return his feelin's.”

“But I told him the first day about going to New York. He knew we could only be friends.”

Granny nodded. “I know you told 'im that, but you ain't acted like you meant it.”

Anna sucked in her breath. “You mean I've given him encouragement without realizing it?”

Granny smiled. “Now, child, be honest with yourself and with me. If'n you was so set on going to nursing school in New York, you wouldn't care about a silly ole argument with Simon.”

Anna dissolved into tears again. “But, Granny, I have to go. My father wanted me to be a nurse. He would have been so disappointed if I let him down. I can't let Robert win. I am going to become a nurse, and no one's going to stop me.”

Granny's eyebrows wrinkled. “But, child, what if you love Simon?”

Anna squeezed Granny's hand. “I love him like a friend. That's all he can ever be.”

Granny stood up and patted her shoulder. “Then there ought not to be a problem. Don't go a-worryin' 'bout Simon. He'll be fine.”

The memory of Linda Mae hanging on Simon's arm crossed her mind, and she frowned. “I guess you're right. He already has somebody taking care of him.”

Granny laughed and picked up the basket that still sat by Anna's feet. “I'll jest wash up these dishes, and then I'll see what we's gonna have fer supper.”

Anna rose to help her just as a knock sounded at the front door. “Who could that be? Is anybody expecting a baby right away?”

She thought for a moment. “We ain't got nobody ready until Martha's time comes due.”

Anna headed to the front of the house. “I'll get it.”

She hurried through the sitting room and jerked the front door open. And then she had to clutch the side of the door to keep from sinking to her knees. Simon stood in front of her, his hat in his hand and a worried expression on his face.

He took a step forward. “Hello, Anna.”

Anna's breath caught in her throat. “S-Simon, what are you doing here?”

He gazed down at his feet before he looked up into her eyes. “I couldn't let what happened this afternoon go without trying to fix it. Can I come in?”

She moved to the side of the door and opened it wider. “Of course you can. You know you're always welcome here.”

He walked to the fireplace and stood with his back to her for a moment before he turned to face her. His fingers tightened on the brim of his hat. “I didn't know if you would want to see me again.”

“Who is it, Anna?” Granny called out as she entered. She stopped, her eyes wide, and stared at Simon. “Hello there, preacher boy. Come a-callin' on us?”

Simon nodded. “I thought I'd better come by and make some apologies to both of you.”

Granny chuckled. “You don't owe me nothin', but I 'spect you and Anna have lots to talk 'bout. I'll jest take that pan of green beans in the kitchen and go set under that there tree out back to string 'em whilst the two of you talk.” She paused at the door. “And Simon, you's welcome to stay fer supper with us.”

“Thank you, Granny.”

Anna clasped her hands in front of her and waited until Granny disappeared. She wondered if Simon could hear her heart pounding. “I'm glad you came by, Simon. I've been very upset about the events of the day.”

“Me too.”

Anna took a deep breath. “Let me begin by saying I'm truly sorry for my behavior today. I admit I wanted to make you angry when I cheered for William, and that was childish. I'm sorry if I humiliated you.” The words tumbled from her mouth.

Simon stepped nearer. “No, I'm sorry, Anna. I'm the one who behaved like a child. What I said about you being selfish is about as far from the truth as anything. I don't think there's a selfish bone in your body. Please forgive those words.”

Anna's throat constricted. “I will if you'll forgive me for saying you have a mean streak. You remind me so much of my father, and there never was a finer man. Please forget I said that.”

He nodded. “I will.” He stood there for a moment as if there was something else he wanted to say. “And one more thing.”