Angel of the North (23 page)

‘So are we all. I think it got to him in the end. All the carnage, I mean.’

Dr Steele’s dictum about other men’s pains being easy to bear sprang into her mind. Apparently they hadn’t been as easy as all that, even for him. And he’d worked himself
to death for them all, never shirked, while she was idling about at the Elsworths’, being waited on hand and foot. As soon as her ribs healed, as soon as she could hear properly again, as
soon as she could get her mother settled, she would have to get back into nursing. She wouldn’t be a spectator any longer than she had to be. She had to make some contribution to the
desperate struggle going on around her.

By the time she and Mr Elsworth had left her relations at Dunswell, Marie had reached the limits of her endurance. When they arrived back at Park Avenue she was fit for nothing but to creep
upstairs to lie down and weep, crushed under the weight of it all, and completely forgetful of Nancy’s invitation to tea.

She faced the ordeal of telling George of her decision to stay at Park Avenue later that evening. However she phrased it, Marie knew that he would take offence. She would just
get it over with.

‘You’re not a burden at all. You’re welcome to stay here as long as you like,’ Aunt Edie said, after Marie’s explanations.

George’s eyes narrowed. ‘Well, we’ve done everything we could to make you feel at home, but as you say, they’ve certainly got a lot more space, and she does have help
with the work. There’s no denying that, is there?’

George was offended, no doubt about it. Unwilling to set him off on another one of his diatribes, Marie decided against any mention of Nancy, and after profuse thanks for everything he’d
done for her she collected her pyjamas, gathered up her government forms, and moved towards the door.

‘You went to see your mam today, didn’t you?’ he asked, following her into the narrow passage. ‘How’s she getting on?’

‘Not very well. She’s got a weak heart, as well as everything else.’

‘I’d go up and see her myself, but I wouldn’t fancy going on the motorbike, and I don’t know how the buses run to Beverley. Give her my love next time you see her,’
his mother called from the front room.

‘I will,’ Marie promised, glad to get away.

Now that Nancy was back, staying with the Maltbys would have been absolutely impossible. But staying with the Elsworths was going to bring her into unwelcome contact with Hannah, who was
probably crowing over her misfortunes this very minute. Marie wondered how she would manage to disguise the fact. Knowing Hannah, she probably wouldn’t even try.

‘I’ve brought a couple of my frocks to lend you,’ Nancy said the following morning, loud enough for all Newland to hear. ‘Are you in on your
own?’

Marie nodded. ‘Mr Elsworth’s out at his car repair shop. Mrs Elsworth’s gone to the WVS. Danny’s at school.’

‘Good,’ Nancy said, stepping inside. ‘We’ve got the place to ourselves, then. Did you see George yesterday?’

Marie nodded.

‘Did you tell him I’m back?’

‘No.’

‘I wish you had. My mother says he still loves me. She said he said he was going to write, but if he did his letter must have arrived after I moved out of the flat, and that foul so-called
friend of Monty’s won’t bother to send it on. And I don’t think I even left my address for him, I was so upset. That’s a thought. I’ll write to Monty at the flat.
He’ll get the letter when he gets back.’

‘Come through to the kitchen. There’s still tea in the teapot. It’ll be a bit stewed, but I’ll water it down. I don’t want to take any of the rations if I can help
it. I haven’t got another ration card yet – I just haven’t had the time to go and get one.’

‘Oh, well, as long as it’s warm and wet . . .’

Nancy slumped on one of the kitchen chairs, and Marie put the tea in front of her. She’d hardly sat down before Nancy began, and it was altogether too evident that Monty was the man
foremost in Nancy’s thoughts.

‘You’d better go back to the beginning,’ Marie said. ‘I didn’t catch much of what you said before.’

‘The beginning is, Monty’s disappeared! I can’t understand it. He was so nice to me – that first week we had together at his flat was wonderful. We’ve got
everything in common. We both love dancing, and the pictures, and he took me up to Pinewood Studios, he was so sure he could get me a job there. But just going for walks in the park and holding
hands was enough for me. We even like the same food, the same sort of people – we had the same tastes in everything. And he was such a laugh. He said: “Now I know why I’ve never
married; I was waiting for you. You’re the one. You’re the girl I want to spend the rest of my life with.” ’

‘Pretty much the same things George must have said to you, when he gave you his ring,’ Marie said drily.

‘Oh, Marie! Monty isn’t a bit like George! I can’t even begin to explain it. I felt as if Monty really understood me, as if he was interested in me, and he was fun! And his
kisses were . . .’ Her eyes lit up, she gave a little smile, drew her shoulders in, and shivered. ‘He was exciting! And to be honest, he didn’t have a mother hanging onto him for
grim death. And George is so dull and dour and dreary, you’ve no idea. All he thinks about is work, work, work, and save, save, save, and scrimp, scrimp, scrimp. You just wonder when
you’ll be allowed to start living. It’s always jam tomorrow, and never jam today, with George.’

‘You never said any of this before. You were happy enough to get engaged.’

‘I was happy enough before I met Monty, and saw another side to life.’

‘If it was all so jammy with Monty, why did he disappear?’

‘I don’t know! I can’t understand it, except it started after his friend Miles was so horrible to me in those studios. Looked at me like a piece of dirt, and kept asking me
when I was going back “oop to ’Ull”, taking the mickey because of the way I talk and making me look stupid in front of everybody. I think he was just jealous of me and Monty. Then
he started calling at the flat, even sleeping there, and Monty didn’t want to make him leave. He said he depended on him for work and things.’

‘What things?’

‘I don’t know! Just “things”. Then he turned really nasty, and said if I didn’t like his friends, I should eff-something off, out of his flat. That’s what he
said, Marie, and he actually used that horrible word – to me! I said I wasn’t going anywhere, and when I woke up the following morning, he was gone. I asked his friend where he might
be, and he said how should he know, he wasn’t his keeper, probably on tour somewhere. So I told him that under the circumstances he should leave the flat. It wasn’t decent for us to be
there together, and he said not likely, the flat belonged to him! I couldn’t believe it. Now I haven’t a clue where Monty is. I waited a full week for him to come back, but by then I
couldn’t stand it any longer with this other chap there every evening. He wrote plays, or he pretended to, and he was there every single night. It was awful, Marie. I think something must
have happened to Monty. I can’t believe he could be so rotten as to walk out on me, just because of a few cross words.’

After he’d told you to eff-something off? And after you’d walked out on George, without a single word, let alone a cross one, Marie thought, now realizing the futility of trying to
impress the enormity of her betrayal on Nancy, and too weary to attempt it. ‘Haven’t you any idea how to go about finding him?’ she asked. ‘Has he got an agent?’

‘I don’t know. And they probably wouldn’t tell me where he is anyway, even if I did. You know what these people are like. Well, I’ll just wait a bit, and see.’
Nancy held her beaker of tea against her cheek, and gazed into the garden for a long time. ‘But if he’s going to be like that,’ she said finally, ‘I’m better off with
George.’

No doubt, but is George better off with you? Marie thought, and it must have shown on her face.

Nancy looked askance at her. ‘You were living with them after you were bombed out, my mam said. So how’s he taken it?’

‘We had a funeral for you, Nancy; didn’t your mother tell you? We thought you were dead! He was absolutely devastated.’

Nancy nodded, a spark of hope igniting in her eyes, but no sign of remorse.

‘Then he found out you’d withdrawn all his savings, and after that, your mother told us she’d had your letter.’

‘Yes, but how did he take it?’ Nancy demanded. ‘Mam said he’d told her he was desperate to get me back, but she wasn’t sure whether to believe him.’

‘He hasn’t taken it very well, to be honest. He was on about taking you to court to get his money back.’

Nancy went pale, and paused for a moment. ‘Oh, well, I’ll talk him round.’

‘I wouldn’t bank on it, if I were you. After all, you walked out on him without a word, and stole his savings into the bargain.’

‘I didn’t steal them.’

‘They’re gone.’

‘I didn’t steal George’s share of the money; I only borrowed it. Half of it was mine, anyway. I’d have thought you’d have been a bit more sympathetic.’

‘Nancy, you’d been engaged to George for months. He bought you a beautiful engagement ring. He thought the sun shone out of your backside, but you left him in the lurch for a man
you’d known about a week and you took his savings, whichever way you look at it. But I don’t know why I’m having this conversation. What you do with Monty is nothing to do with
me. Maybe we ought to christen him Minty, now he’s got all your money.’

Nancy gave her an incredulous look. ‘Very funny. And you’re having this conversation because you’re supposed to be a friend!’

‘I
am
a friend, but that doesn’t turn black into white.’

‘Well, if I’ve been a bit naughty, I’m not the first, and I won’t be the last.’

Marie’s mouth fell open. ‘I can’t believe it’s Nancy Harding talking like this. When we had that raid, and you were missing and he thought you’d been killed, he was
running round everywhere, trying to find you. He went round all the hospitals, and then down to the mortuary they’ve set up in Albert Avenue Baths, and looked at a lot of corpses their own
mothers couldn’t have recognized. Just let that sink in for a bit, Nancy. And then we had a funeral, a mass funeral, believing you were one of those people who’d had to be gathered
together in bits. It was harrowing. And then he found out you’d gone off with that actor. It completely knocked the bottom out of his world, Nance. It knocked me sideways as well, if you want
to know. That’s more than “a bit naughty”.’

‘Well, he’ll have his world back soon. I’ve decided. I’m going back to him.’

‘Good luck with that, then,’ said Marie.

‘You’re not exactly oozing sympathy, are you?’ Nancy snapped. ‘But you watch. He’ll be all right. I’ll talk him round; I could always wind him round my little
finger. A few tears, and that won’t be hard; I’ve hardly stopped weeping since Monty left! George won’t be able to withstand much of that. He’ll give in, and then I’ll
make him happy, I swear I will. No more bloody lying, cheating actors for me.’

Nancy certainly had full confidence in her power over George, Marie thought, as she closed the door on her. She had certainly seen a side to Nancy that she would never have believed existed. But
there was something to be said for listening to other people’s troubles, even if you weren’t exactly oozing sympathy. It took your mind off your own, for a little while.

‘A visitor for you, Marie,’ Danny said, ushering Margaret’s husband into the drawing room later that evening.

‘Another one!’ Marie exclaimed, rising from her armchair to greet him. ‘Goodness, Terry, I never expected to see you! How did you know I was here? Mr and Mrs Elsworth, this is
Terry. He married the best friend I ever had. You remember me telling you about Margaret?’

Terry was clean-shaven and very smartly dressed, but the effect was spoiled by the three carrier bags he was holding.

‘I’ve just seen a ghost,’ Terry said. ‘I could have sworn I passed Nancy Harding when I was coming along Spring Bank on the motorbike. I heard she’d been killed
when the hospital copped it.’

He was turned slightly away from her, and Marie didn’t quite catch what he said. ‘Pardon?’ she said.

Terry was distracted from repeating himself by Mr Elsworth’s enthusiastic welcome. ‘Come in and sit down,’ he said, drawing him to a chair beside the small fire, and shaking
his hand enthusiastically as soon as he put the bags down. ‘I remember you. We’ve worked alongside each other once or twice, although I never knew your name. This is a surprise. Come
in. Will you have a cup of tea? Bring another cup and saucer, Danny. How are things at Central Fire Station?’

Terry’s face fell, and he shook his head. ‘Not good. There aren’t so many of us as there were, after the blitzing we got last month. We’ve lost some good lads. Terrible
for them, and terrible for their families, and nearly as bad for us. Bloody Nazis. And the worst of it is a lot of it could have been avoided. Like the lads at North Bridge, for instance. If
there’d been a firewatcher with a key to the warehouse, they wouldn’t have had to use the ladder, and they’d still be alive. But seeing as the Luftwaffe have given us a whole
week’s holiday, we’re fit for action again, just about.’

‘Yes, a whole week. They’re busy with the Russians now, if you can believe what you read in the paper.’

The conversation became hard for Marie to follow as everybody threw themselves into it, and began talking nineteen to the dozen. She wasn’t called on to say much, and sat watching them
all, thankful they were managing without any effort from her. It was evident from the way they looked at him that the whole family liked Terry, and he certainly cut an impressive figure. Danny was
hanging onto his every word, eyes wide and round with hero worship. Even Mrs Elsworth seemed susceptible, giving him a broad and approving smile as she handed him his tea.

Unable to hear most of what was being said, Marie’s attention began to drift. It was coming up to midsummer, the nights were long and light, and through the open curtains she could just
see over to the spot where Smut lay in the twilit garden. She started, imagining that she felt his furry paw against her ankle, and looked down to see that Mrs Elsworth’s knitting had fallen
off the side table full of family photographs, including one of Mr Elsworth and all the men in his car repair shop.