Angels of Humility: A Novel (14 page)

She sat down to have her cup of coffee. She broke her morning ritual by throwing the unopened
Gazette
into her trash after Discouragement whispered, “I’m sure you’re the topic of every letter to the editor today.” The paper landed with a thud.
No sense punishing myself
.

Sarah curled up on the couch. The days were getting chillier. She snuggled under the multicolored Angora blanket that George had given her as a Christmas present. As she ran her hand over the soft fleece, the
loneliness swept over her again. She and George used to snuggle under the blanket as they watched nature documentaries or after they’d spent the evening dancing.

Dancing
, thought Sarah; a smile crept across her face. She had developed a love for dancing as a little girl. About once a month, on a Friday night, her father would move the coffee table from the living room and start the big player piano. Then he would sweep Sarah up in his arms. She would carefully place each socked-foot on his black leather shoes, and they would laugh and dance to every song on the roller. These were some of her favorite childhood memories.

I was so excited when I found out George loved to dance. After we were married, we went to the lodge at Mt. Pielor almost every Friday night
.

For a moment she was back on the dance floor in her black pumps. George looked dapper, as always, in his charcoal gray suit and red-striped tie. She could feel his arm around her waist. The orchestra was playing “Over There.” She began to hum the music as she followed his lead around the large wooden floor. Even though the place was crowded, she never noticed the other couples. She and George were in their own world when they danced together. When the song finished in her mind, so did the cheerful recollection. She remembered how their dancing dates had ended when George became sick.

When he couldn’t make the trip to Mt. Pielor, they began dancing in the living room together. She smiled at the memory of George shuffling around in his flannel pajamas and house slippers. As he continued to deteriorate, even one slow, slow dance with his feet hardly moving got to be too much.
What a change from the virile, dapper George I knew
. Toward the end, Sarah would just play the waltz music in the bedroom. It seemed to calm George. How she missed his arms around her when they danced.

Lord, talk to me. Is George there with You? Please, please answer me, Lord. I can’t take this much longer. Give me courage. I feel like a prisoner in my own house. I’m too scared to go outside. I need to hear about the land. I’m lonely and desperate for a friend
. She prayed in tongues for a while, but stopped when she didn’t feel better.

She heard the mailman on the porch. After waiting a few minutes to make sure he was gone, she went outside. The box was crammed with letters. Only occasionally was there a return address. I
guess the rest wanted to remain anonymous
, she thought.
Oh Lord, this is not what I need
.

A rusty blue Toyota pulled up in front of the house. When Sarah saw Pastor Paul get out, she breathed a sigh of relief. It was all she could do to keep from throwing herself into his arms when he came up the stairs.
Thank You, God, for bringing my pastor. Thank You. I need to talk to someone who is spiritually wiser than I. S
he couldn’t see the demons of Manipulation, Control, Judgment, Fear of Man, and Selfish Ambition that his actions had invited. They clung to his scalp and shoulders. The demons gloated and taunted Saldu, who followed along behind.

Joel looked at Malta, “Definitely not what Sarah needs now.”

“Hello. Is this a good time?” asked Paul as he stepped onto the porch. He did a double take at Sarah’s black eye, but chose not to mention it.

“Oh, yes. It’s a very good time,” said Sarah, concealing the handful of letters behind her back and looking slightly to the side to try to obscure her eye. “Please come in.”

Sarah brewed a pot of coffee and they sat at the yellow Formica-topped kitchen table. Paul sat comfortably with the presence of these familiar spirits. He was making no effort to break free from their influence so the three mighty angels were unable to intervene on his behalf.

The biggest demon Manipulation whispered to Paul: “Thank you for allowing me to talk with you. I have some important things to share….”

“Thank you for allowing me to talk with you,” repeated Paul. “I have some important things to share. Things that I think are from the Lord. Do you mind if we start with prayer?”

Sarah sighed in relief, “Yes, I’d like that.”
Thanks, Lord, for sending me some spiritual guidance
. Joel and Malta stood behind her.

“Lord, please show us Your will and Your way. Help Sarah to make the right decisions during this difficult time for the town. Amen.”

Difficult time for the town?
thought Sarah, feeling exasperated, but she squelched a reply and the emotions that went with it.

“I assume you’re feeling a lot of stress and pressure since the meeting the other night. Right?”

“Oh, yes,” said Sarah feeling relief at having found a kindred spirit. “People are even sending me letters telling me what to do.” She held up the pile of mail. “I just want to do what the Lord wants, but I need confirmation.”

“I’m sure you do. I hope that I can help; that’s why I’m here. I feel like I’ve heard a few things from Him about the land. It even started before there was talk of the jail, if that’s helpful.”

Sarah felt her clenched muscles relax. She exhaled deeply. Her tension was draining away.
Finally, Lord, You sent help
. “I’d really like some good spiritual guidance. This has been a confusing time for me, and I’m a new Christian—”

“I understand,” said Paul cutting her off. “Well, ever since I got here, I felt like the Lord was going to grow our church. As you know, our present facility can only hold about 150 people. I’ve felt that the Lord is going to bless us with new members and we will need to build a new church building. This is where it gets really good—when I first arrived in town, I was driving around just seeing it all for the first time, taking it all in. When I got to the intersection of Old Highway 3 and JJ, that land just kind of jumped out at me, if you know what I mean. I had no way of knowing it was yours. I didn’t know that until the meeting a few nights ago. I just know that the first time I laid eyes on it, I thought it was earmarked by the Lord for something special. Having a church on your land is a legacy I’m sure you’d be proud to leave, wouldn’t you?”

He didn’t slow down long enough for her to answer. “If you sold
or donated
the land to the church, it would be a win/win situation.” The demons were heady over their success. Paul followed their lead exactly. “Everyone would be glad for the progress this would bring the town, not to mention soothing everyone’s high-strung nerves.”

He was careful never to mention the jail. He knew how she felt about that, but building a new church seemed holier than building a jail. Besides, there were people everywhere to minister to. You don’t need a jail to find people in need.

Joel watched as three of Paul’s black spirits swirled around Sarah. They had no legal right to land on her, but they could torment her.

Sarah felt troubled, confused. Even though neither of them had touched their coffee, she stood up and came back with the pot. What Paul was saying made sense. The first twisted spirit of Manipulation whispered to her: “It’d be great to have a new church on the ground. It would certainly calm everyone’s ruffled feathers; more than that, it would probably make you the town hero.”

“Remember,” croaked Selfish Ambition, “how everyone sang, ‘For He’s The Jolly Good Fellow’ at the meeting two nights ago?”

Sarah glanced at the pile of letters on the table. Seeing them made her heart race.

“That’s right Sarah; you don’t need any more hate mail, do you?” cooed the slimy voice of Fear of Man.

“Now we go in for the kill,” said Manipulation. “Repeat after me, Paul, ‘I never had the pleasure of meeting your late husband,’” Paul continued, “but I understand that this land was in his family for a long time.”

“Yes, it was purchased by George’s father when he was a young man. Then when we married, we farmed it for 23 years.”

“Maybe the land is in your possession for such a time as this.”
³
The demons all flinched at the passing mention of a Scripture passage. Sarah had never heard that phrase.

“What do you mean, ‘for such a time as this’?”

“It’s from the Book of Esther.”

“I, I haven’t read that book yet,” said Sarah, somewhat embarrassed.

“I’ll give you a brief overview. Esther was the queen. The prime minister named Haman hated the Jews and devised a plan, along with the king, to have all the Jews killed. The king didn’t know Esther was a Jew. She had a choice to stay in the protection of the palace and watch her people perish outside or intervene by risking her life. God had moved her to the position as queen for ‘such a time as this.’ It was God’s will for her to step forward. It was the time God had destined for her to bring deliverance to her people.”

“For such a time as this,” repeated Sarah.

“That’s right,” said Paul. “For such a time as this.”

“I wish they would shut up,” said Selfish Ambition. “It’s like nails on a chalkboard every time they say that.”

“Keep praying. I’m confident the Lord will show you His will,” said Paul, standing to his feet. “I can tell that you want the Lord’s heart on this. I’m sure you’ll make the right, the rational decision,” he said, shaking her hand vigorously.

“Please give me a call if you have any questions or want to talk. Once you come to a decision, we can announce the good news to the church.” Paul was nodding his head. Before she knew it, Sarah was nodding, too.

Selfish Ambition and Fear of Man stayed with Sarah. The others left with Pastor Paul firmly in their destructive grip. They were so comfortable with him; they regarded him as their permanent residency.

Sarah walked him to the porch and watched as he drove away. She expected to feel better, but her muscles were tense again.

“Paul,” said Saldu, looking stoic yet disappointed, “never measure others’ worth or value by whether they agree with your opinion. What an arrogant standard. Let Sarah do what she wants with the land. It’s hers. You just used every manipulative technique against her, including mentioning her dead husband. You never met him, yet suddenly you’re invested in what he would think? You’re a hypocrite. She’s a valuable, living, breathing, blood-bought Christian standing right in front of you. All you can see is what you can get from her. Everything else is lost on you. You don’t love people; you use people. If you don’t cry out for help from the Lord to change that pattern, you’ll never accomplish what the Lord has planned for your life, and it will bring you immeasurable pain.”

“Paul, you’ve almost got her where you want her,” whispered one of the clawed, leather-winged demons. “She teared up when you mentioned her husband. Did you see her nodding at the end? That Bible verse was a great touch. She’s home looking at the Scripture now. I think you’ve got her.”

“Pray about this land debate,” said Saldu. “You could speak up for Sarah and give her the support she needs. You could be a spiritual buffer between her and the town’s anger. Stand up and do what’s right! Lead your church in the truth. What is politically correct is never heavenly correct. Remember, the Lord humbled Himself to live in a human body, die on the cross, and suffer for sins, none of which were His. In order to fulfill His plan for your life, you must lead the same humble, obedient lifestyle.”

“Keep your eye on the prize, Paul,” said Selfish Ambition. “Don’t give up your goal. Think how many people will flock to your church if you solve this jail dilemma. You’d probably need to build right away. Don’t let up; success is right around the corner.”

Paul smiled.