Animalis (22 page)

“Do you think it’s time to tell Jesus, and Hank, that you made it back?” she asked delicately, but the reminder was abrasive for Jax to hear.

He didn’t want to have to think about it. But she was right: he had to tell them. He stayed silent but nodded.

Chapter 18

Tessard Minette

Jax stood in the small herbal air parlor facing the lone internet-connected wall screen. It was growing late in the day. Outside the small windows, the streets were lit with a warm electric glow. The dog Animalis that manned the shop was slouched over the counter. He drifted in and out of sleep, or at least what appeared to be sleep.

Hollow nervousness squeezed at Jax’s lungs. He had been able to hide for the last week, but now he had to tell someone that he was alive. Even though it was Hank’s call icon stuck on the wall, waiting to be dialed, he couldn’t lift his hand to connect.

What if the leg isn’t enough? Will he make me stay?
He tried to imagine joining Hank again, holding a rifle, raising it to his shoulder.
I can’t hesitate again.
But he wasn’t sure he would be able to. In the arena, with the bear’s neck in his arms, he couldn’t do it.

He felt ashamed and terrified to admit it. For most of his life, he had accused his dad of cowardice, sure that he would never be like him. Sure that there had been weakness in his father that he could find in himself—and eradicate.

But he hadn’t. By the time he could finally see the root of what he was so scared of becoming, it was too late. Now he was just like him, pretending he hadn’t quit, walking around with a robotic crutch.

If he went back home, would he be unhappy the rest of his life? If he stayed and failed again, would it be worse? There was a wall in front of him, just as impassable as in the arena, and he couldn’t get over it.

He moved his hand to the wall and began typing. He removed Hank’s name and typed in
Tessard Minette.

The computer brought up a new icon. The face was as hard as stone. His eyes were thin, like Jax’s.

Why had he pushed his father away so far? The face embossed on the wall could have been a stranger from the way Jax had treated him.

Now that I need him, how could he possibly forgive me?
Jax thought. He held his finger above the
Call
button. They were a hemisphere apart: while the sun had just set for Jax, it would just be starting to rise for his father in the foothills of Colorado.

There was no one else he could ask. No one else knew the wall Jax had come to. He pressed the button to activate the call.

The icon faded away, melting with the rest of the menus, and a bell began to ring. After a moment, the bell clicked off and a new image emerged. His father squinted, peering up at Jax. There were streaks of black across his cheek and on the tip of his nose. His eyes widened briefly, and he ran a black-tipped hand through his short, thin hair. He stood in a garage, with pieces of an antique car spread out behind him. The dim morning light had turned the mountains in the window a pale purple.

He let out a heavy breath. “Jax?” He sounded surprised. “Is your mother not answering? Do you want me to go tell her to pick up?”

Jax coughed and shook his head. “No, Dad.” He turned his head away from the lifelike replica of his father on the wall. He didn’t know how to talk to him. “I wanted to talk to you.”

Tessard blinked a few times, then he sat down at the desk in front of him and pushed his chair closer to the screen. “Alright. What’s going on? Are you enjoying the army? Still able to hang around with …” He looked up in the air for a moment. His hand clenched into a fist.

“Hank,” Jax said.

“Hank, that’s right,” Tessard said, and he knocked his fist against the surface of the table. “How’s Hank?”

Jax nodded. He took a deep breath and let it out with a frown. “I’m sorry, Dad.”

“Oh, no, is he alright?”

“Hank’s fine. I’m sorry … that I didn’t believe you. That I treated you so bad. I didn’t know.” Jax stopped before his pain turned into tears.

“Slow down,” his dad said. “What are you saying you’re sorry about? Did you do something wrong out there?”

“No,” Jax said on impulse. He didn’t want his dad to think he had broken the law, or gotten in trouble. But he was in trouble. “I …”
What am trying to say? What did I want him to do?
“… I want to come home.”

Tessard scowled. “You want to come home? It’s too soon for leave time, isn’t it?”

Jax didn’t want to have to say it, but he would find out eventually. He put his hand against the wall for balance and held up the robotic foot. “I lost my leg.” He flexed the toes and heard the whine of the electric motors working inside it. “I haven’t told my captain yet.”

His father looked stunned. “Your leg?” He kept looking at it and began shaking his head. He knew not to ask what had happened.

“I …” Jax put the leg down and stood straight again. “I’m sorry I didn’t understand.” How could Jax expect him to care about him now? “I’m sorry I thought you were … weak.”

His dad looked through the wall, searching for something in Jax’s eyes. He blinked again and looked away. His cheeks sank into a sad expression, and he nodded again.

“I’m sorry I let you,” he said.

Someone spoke in the background, calling out, “Tess?”

Tessard turned to the side. “Yes, hon. I’m on a call.”

It was Jax’s mother. He didn’t want her to see him. It would be too much now, to see her reaction to his leg.
She’ll cry,
Jax knew, and that would make him feel even worse.

“Let me finish. I’ll be in for breakfast in just a minute.” He turned back to Jax and shook his head. “She’s always worried something like this will happen to you.”

Jax nodded.

Tessard ran his hand through his hair again. “You want to know if coming home is the right thing to do? If I think I was right to come back?”

“Was it?” Jax asked. His hand moved unconsciously, rubbing the thick wool of his shirt between his fingers.

His dad looked up at the ceiling and rocked back and forth in his chair. His eyes closed when he spoke: “I guess I never tried to get you back, you know, make things right between us, because I hated myself, too. Maybe I thought you were right. I knew I could have stayed, finished off my commitment to the military.” He brought his robotic arm up onto the table and looked down at it.

“You wish you would have stayed?” Jax felt his dread resurface. If he stayed, he’d feel the terrible fear over and over again, that he could die at any moment, that he would let everyone down by failing again. How would it be possible to keep going?

“Part of me did. Part of me knew there was more I could have done. Every time I used this arm to do something I’d never thought I’d be able to do again, I felt guilty.” He gave a reluctant smile. “But I was able to be home. Watch you grow up into the man you are. I don’t think I’ve ever told you, but I’m so proud of you, Jax.”

There was a sting inside Jax’s chest, followed by a soothing warmth that began to spread out. It crept into his throat and went for his eyes. Jax swallowed. Could he cry? Could he show his dad how much it meant to him? He felt his chest starting to shake.

“What hurt, was that my company had just been attacked. Lots of guys died, and I got away with just my arm. But it was the start of a push that the Animalis were making on the city we were in. For a long time, I beat myself up for not staying.” His dad nodded, as if to acknowledge the truth and the pain of what he was saying.

Jax pushed his fist under his eyes and wiped away the tears that were about to break over his eyelids. “They gave you a choice?”

“Once they got the wound sealed up,” Tessard said, “they had me do some tests, some physical and some mental. I don’t really know how they came out, but after it all, they just asked if I wanted to go home, and I said ‘Yes.’”

Jax nodded.

“You said you wanted to come home …” Tessard looked at Jax with a serious expression. “… but don’t run away from someone that needs you. You’re strong, and you’re stubborn, and it takes a lot longer to get over letting yourself down than to give it everything you’ve got. You don’t lose your responsibility to the people you leave behind; you only lose your ability to serve them.”

Jax nodded again.

“Tess?” Jax’s mother called again from the house.

“I’d better go.” His dad stood up, tapping his human fingers against the tabletop. “I’m glad you called. It’s so good to see you, son.”

Jax held still, not ready to let go of the feelings that had opened up inside himself.

His dad started to reach for the wall to end the conversation. Jax took a deep breath. “I love you, Dad.”

Tessard stopped and smiled cautiously. He moved his hand over and delicately pressed it against the wall in front of him, where Jax’s image must have been. “I love you too, Jax. I’ll be glad to see you if you decide to come home.”

Then he ended the call. The wall flattened out.

Outside, the sky had grown completely black. Jax stood for a moment, gazing out the window, feeling a calm, steady peace. When he was ready, Jax brought the menu back up and put in Hank’s name.

——

Hank knelt on the hard floor of the lab with the black shadow of the pyramid making a thick cross on the floor in front of him. Every half-second, his body shook with a powerful beat from his heart. An intense urge to vomit passed over him, but he held it in. His skin was cold and damp with sweat.

The symbols engraved on the surface of the smooth metal shook with the pounding of his heart. He could hardly keep his vision straight to make a clear mental image of them.

An eerie
creak
echoed through the lab. Hank’s eyes bulged and he held his breath. The hammering pulse in his chest seemed to scream for everyone to hear: “Intruder! Someone’s here! Kill him!” A drop of sweat that had been building at his hairline cascaded down his forehead and dripped onto the floor—
SPLASH!

Hank was on the verge of fainting from the strain of his secret, self-imposed mission: take advantage of the lack of security to prove the pyramid was the powerful DNA-altering machine that he claimed it to be. According to his observations, he had another fifteen minutes before he would come close to a possible encounter with one of the Animalis who worked in the lab. Except that
creak
sounded like someone was coming right now.

After another minute in a state of frozen panic, Hank let his pulse drop from the two hundred beats per minute range and returned to his task at hand. There were many ways he could prove the machine worked—but altering a small test animal’s DNA would do. Something like the last time the machine had been used. But Hank wanted to do something
more
.

His index finger crudely traced the symbols on the metal beam.
How does it work?
he demanded in his mind.

A melodic chime shattered the stillness around him, nearly sending Hank’s heart to three hundred beats per minute. The sound was everywhere! He was caught! Doomed to die a short, pointless, insignificant, wasted life.
I shouldn’t have come!
he screamed in his mind.

Then Hank saw the icon floating in front of him, an image of a dusty-brown-haired boy with cheeks and a jaw that could have been carved from stone. The chime had been ringing in Hank’s own head from his retina monitor’s connection to his earpiece. And the face was just as ghostly and ethereal as the sound.

Hank weighed the risks of taking the call. He would have to speak aloud, which could ruin his stealthy mission. But there were no microphones in the room to record his voice, or else the many conversations he had spied on through the security camera would have given him more information. The call would take up valuable time. But if it really was Jax …

The icon disappeared, and Jax was suddenly standing in front of Hank, four feet away, as a figment of Hank’s augmented reality. But the call was real; the person on the other end was Jax. He hadn’t died.

Hank’s mouth trembled, still processing the shock of seeing Jax alive. He was wearing strange clothes. The pants were thick and fuzzy, and the shirt was woven with threads that could have been spaghetti strands. His weight was distributed disproportionately, not the way Hank had remembered Jax. The hips were shifted to hold weight off one of his legs, like he was injured somehow.

“Jax?” he whispered, so quietly that it didn’t reach his own ears. “Jax!” he finally whispered again, a decibel louder. “You … You look like …” He sucked in a breath. “Look like … a preternatural ghost. Where … Where are you? What happened?” He consciously pushed the fear out of his voice.

A smile spread across Jax’s cheeks. He glanced left and right, as if expecting Hank’s face to appear for the call, but without the thousands of tiny cameras embedded in a wall screen, only Hank’s voice would come through.

“Hank? Are you there? I’m alive, but just barely,” Jax said. “Can you see me?” He held up his leg for Hank to examine.

“What’s that?” Hank could see a metallic sheen where Jax’s skin should have been. Was that what was causing the alteration to his posture?

“This is what is left of my leg. I got sent to the arena, fought a bear, it bit my lower leg off, and I’ve been hiding out at a weird Animalis religious community building.” Jax set the leg down and waited like a child expecting a punishment.