Anna (Book 2, The Redemption Series) (20 page)

The scene quickly changes
, and I find us standing inside a home with a Christmas tree in the corner. Malcolm is knelt down in front of it.

“
Are you sure you have a gift for me under here, dearest?” Malcolm asks, while he scans the presents. “I still don’t see it.”

“
It’s there, Malcolm,” a very pregnant Lilly says to him with Brand standing by her side as she watches him with amusement. “But you can’t open it until tomorrow morning. That’s the rule.”

Past
Malcolm sighs heavily and stands up. He turns to face them both.

“
All I seem to be able to find are gifts for Caylin,” he halfheartedly complains.

“
I’ve been a good girl, Uncle Malcolm.”

I see
a little girl with brown hair and grey eyes walk from the back of the house into the living room with a half-eaten cookie in her hand.

Malcolm changes the scene
, and I literally begin to see years of his life flash by.

“
It was the first time I felt the power of family,” Malcolm tells me as his life with Lilly and Sebastian’s families fade in and out. “We were all so happy during the years that followed. I didn’t even mind the occasional brawl with Lucifer, at least until I was bit by his hellhound.”

Malcolm only briefly shows me a glimpse of that fight and the moment
he was bit.

“
I asked Lucifer to take his curse off of you when he came to see me,” I tell Malcolm. “But he won’t.”

“
He never will,” Malcolm tells me with certainty, freezing the moment his physical torture began. “He’s been trying to make me beg him to take my soul for years. I think it frustrates him that I’ve never given in. If it wasn’t for my promise to Lilly to stay alive until you were born and help you retrieve the seals, I might have given him my soul to end the pain by now. But with you in my life,” Malcolm says, turning to fully face me, “I have a whole new reason to endure it.”

My vision grows blurry as I t
ry to hold in my sorrow over the pain Malcolm has to live with.

“
I would give anything to help you,” I tell him.

Malcolm shakes his head.
“You’ve already given me everything, Anna. Don’t you realize that? I’ve lived with this pain for a thousand years. But your love for me is something I never expected to be gifted with. It overshadows everything else. The pain is still there, but it’s finally been made bearable because my love for you pushes it so far back in my mind I can almost forget about it.”

Malcolm lifts our joined hands to his heart.

“You live here now,” he says, emphasizing his words by lightly tapping our hands against his chest. “And you always will.”

I feel a tear slide down my cheek
at the sweetness of his words because I know they are the truth. Malcolm leans in to kiss the tear’s wet trail away.

“
I didn’t say that to make you cry,” he tells me, pulling back.

Before he can, I wrap my arms around hi
s neck and kiss him deeply. It may only be a dream world kiss, but I want him to know how much I love the fact he’s sharing his life with me so unreservedly.

“
Thank you for not giving up,” I whisper against his lips as I end the kiss. “Otherwise, I wouldn’t have been able to experience happiness like this.”

“
You’re welcome,” Malcolm grins. It’s not a cocky smile, but one telling me he’s glad he didn’t give in to his pain too.

Malcolm kisses me on the forehead and turns his body away from mine to
show me more of his memories.

We’re back in the desert once more. The Watchers are again dressed in their formal wear and kneeling with one knee on the sand. I watch as Caylin walks among the watchers and see her come to stand in front of my papa and Daniel.

“This is the moment when Caylin chose those of us who would watch over the princes and wait for you to be born,” Malcolm tells me. “I didn’t want to admit it at the time, but I knew I was one of her chosen even though she refused to tell me.”

“
Thank you for staying here so long and waiting for me,” I tell him, unable to imagine my life without him in it.

“
It hasn’t been easy,” Malcolm admits. “Especially when we lost so many that we loved.”

We leave the desert.

I see an old man sitting in a rocking chair on a front porch of a nice looking two story home. The man looks to be in his eighties with more wrinkles on his face than I care to count, but the ones around his mouth and the corners of his eyes seem to be more prominent than the rest. They hint at a life spent in laughter and true happiness.

I see
past Malcolm walk out of the front door of the home carrying two cups in his hands. He hands one of the cups to the man in the chair.

“
Thanks, Dad,” the old man says, making me gasp because I realize this is an older version of Malcolm’s son.

“
Anytime,” Malcolm says, sitting down in a matching rocking chair angled toward Sebastian’s.

“
Malcolm,” I say, looking over at him, “you don’t have to show this to me.”

I can only imagine the pain this memory must
be causing him.

Malcolm nods his head.
“Yes, I do.”

I look back and watch.

“Dad,” Sebastian says, his voice raspy from age, “can you do something for me?”

“
You know I would do anything for you, Sebastian. I love you.”

“
Then, I want you to have more children one day.”

Past Malcolm keeps his expression blank as he replies,
“I don’t see that happening.”

“
But you’re such a great father,” Sebastian argues. “Even when you were at your worst, you always made me feel loved. With the curse lifted, you can have normal children with a woman now.”

Malcolm shakes his head.
“I would have to be in love with a woman to have children with her, Sebastian. I fear my chance at happiness like that has long since passed.”

Sebastian leans
in toward his father and places his age spotted hand on Malcolm’s arm.

“
Don’t close your heart off to others,” Sebastian almost begs. “There’s so much good inside you, Dad. It would be a sin for you not to share yourself with someone. I know you always loved Lilly, but she wasn’t the one you were meant to be with. I think you know that. Just promise me that you won’t stop trying to live after we’re all gone. I know you’ll want to shut people out to spare yourself the heartache over losing them. But, you should know better than anyone that this life isn’t the end. We’ll all be together again one day in Heaven.”

“
That knowledge doesn’t make losing you in this life any easier,” Malcolm tells his son. “I have no way of knowing when I’ll be able to see you again.”

“
I know, Dad,” Sebastian says letting go of Malcolm’s arm to lean back in his chair. “But if and when the time comes that you find someone to love, don’t push her away. I want you to experience the joy of being a father the way it was meant to be. You sort of got cheated out of that with me.”

“
I regret what happened to you because of me,” Malcolm says, almost like a confession. “You never should have been put through all those years of pain.”

“
It was all worth it in the end, Dad,” Sebastian says with a content look on his face. “I’ve had a wonderful life, and even if I were given the chance to change what happened, I wouldn’t.”

“
Why?”

“
Because if I changed one single moment, the life I’ve had might not have ever happened. I wouldn’t have met Abby at just the right time, and without her, I wouldn’t have had my children. Having them and you in my life makes it all worth it to me, Dad. I wouldn’t change a thing.”

My Malcolm
faces me again. “I tried to keep Sebastian’s words in mind, but after a few hundred years, I gave up hope of meeting anyone. All I wanted to do was finish our mission and finally find release in death. Then, something unexpected happened and changed the way I started to feel about my life.”

Our location morphs into one I recognize, Malcolm’s study
in his New Orleans home. Past Malcolm is sitting behind his desk staring out the window at nothing in particular. I can tell he has something else on his mind besides the activity happening outside his home on the busy street below.

There’s a
n insistent knock at the door.

“
Come in,” Malcolm calls out to the visitor, turning around in his chair to face the new arrival.

Jered opens the door and walks in. He’s carrying a baby swaddled in a blue blanket on one arm.

“He’s here,” Jered says to Malcolm.

“
Have you made arrangements with Daniel and Linn for them to take him in?”

Jered closes the door behind him and walks over to Malcolm’s desk.

“Yes,” Jered says hesitantly. “Though I disagree with your decision.”

“
It’s better for him in the long run,” Malcolm tells Jered.

“
Better for him or for you?” Jered asks, a challenge in his voice. “Marcus and June specifically stated in their will that they wanted
you
to take care of their son, Malcolm. How can you just toss him aside so easily?”

“
I’m not tossing him aside,” Malcolm defends. “I’m giving him a better life than what he would have with me.”

“
I think you’re just scared to care about anyone too deeply,” Jered challenges. “You haven’t let anyone get close to you in years. Don’t you think it’s time you started caring for someone else besides yourself?”

Malcolm
quickly stands to his feet and places his hands against the top of his desk, leaning in towards Jered. The anger on his face is just as evident in his voice as he says, “I will live my life the way I see
fit
, Jered. I don’t need you telling me what I should do.”

Jered sighs but not in defeat.

“Then do one thing for me, and I’ll leave you alone. I won’t bring the subject up ever again.”

“
If it will shut you up, name it.”

Jered walks around the desk and holds the baby out to Malcolm.

“Spend one hour with him. If you feel nothing for him after that, I won’t say another word on the subject.”

“
Should I get that in writing?” Malcolm quips, eyeing the baby warily.

“
No, I will keep to my word. You have my promise.”

Malcolm takes the child from Jered.

“One hour,” Malcolm reminds Jered.

Jered nods and leaves the room.

I watch as Malcolm looks down at the child he holds in his arms.

“
Hello, Lucas,” Malcolm says. “Jered seems to think we should become acquainted with one another. What do you think about that?”

Lucas lifts his little fists into the air and makes a happy gurgling sound.

Reluctantly, Malcolm begins to chuckle. He sits back down in his chair and begins to talk to Lucas about all the reasons why he would make a horrible father.

“
Obviously,” my Malcolm says, “I decided to keep Lucas with me. But, that moment changed the way I viewed my life. I had someone who needed me to keep them safe, and I pledged to Lucas that day to do just that.”

Then Malcolm changes the scene to one I remember quite well. It’s the night Amon attacked me
, and I killed my first prince of Hell. It was also the night the connection between our souls opened up, telling Malcolm that I needed him.

I see myself lying on the stone
floor of the veranda as my body writhes in agony. I can remember how blinding the pain was until I felt Malcolm’s first touch. I feel my head tilt of its own accord when I see myself the way Malcolm saw me that night.

“
I glowed to you?” I ask, sure that something must be wrong with my eyes.

“
Yes,” Malcolm tells me, “you did.”

“
But I didn’t even know you. We hadn’t met before this moment. How could I have already been devoted to you?”

“
When Lilly came down to set me straight, she told me that you’ve known me for a very long time. On one of her trips to Heaven, you apparently told her that you would take good care of me when you came to Earth.”

“
I wish I could remember that,” I say, finding it hard not to stare at my glowing form.

“
I knew that night that you would change my life forever,” Malcolm tells me. “I just refused to admit it to myself.”

The scene changes quickly to the moment I rolled over on my bed and looked at Malcolm for the
very first time. Even though I knew what I was thinking in that moment, you would have to be a fool not to see the love I held for him just from viewing the expression on my face.