Anne Douglas (32 page)

‘Can’t expect to get what you deserve in this world,’ he said lightly. ‘Unless it’s trouble. You get your application off, but don’t say anything yet to the others about what’s been decided. I’ll tell them myself, Mr and Mrs May as well – Lord knows what they’ll have to say. Their beloved shop closing, eh?’

‘At least they’ll know it’s isn’t your fault.’

‘You always think that makes a difference. What matters is what happens, never mind if you’re blameless or not.’

Returning to work Shona felt guilty, burdened by news she couldn’t tell. Yet it wouldn’t be long, she knew, before the news would come out anyway and by then she might be looking at yet another turn in her fortunes. Working as a housekeeper instead of a florist? She couldn’t say it was what she wanted, though it might have its compensations. Oh, not Dr Mark, she told herself, don’t go down that road, Shona! She had long ago known that there would be nothing between them, but if her thoughts went wandering back, at least that proved one thing: she was better. Fully healed. Finally over her love for Brett Webster.

Suddenly it was April and with it came the sad goodbyes. Maybel’s, George Street, was closing.

At the end of its last day, after loyal customers had bought the remaining flowers at sale price, sighing over their loss and wishing everyone the best of luck, Brigid closed the door and looked back at those watching. Fraser, Stuart, Shona, Isla, Cassie and Dan Hardie, all so soon to scatter, all trying to put a brave face on things.

‘That’s it, then,’ she said lightly. ‘All over.’

‘Canna believe it, eh?’ Dan muttered, accepting a glass of the wine Fraser had brought down. ‘Never thought I’d see this day. Bet Mr and Mrs May are in a state?’

‘You’re not wrong about that,’ Fraser told him, filling glasses for the girls whether they wanted them or not. ‘Had ’em in my office yesterday, asking if they could do something to help. As though I’d take money from retired people! But it was good of ’em to offer. Stuart, you going to risk a drop?’

‘Might as well.’ Stuart allowed himself a grin. ‘Live dangerously, eh?’

‘This’ll not harm you. A good Merlot. Very nice wine.’ Fraser, glass in hand, cleared his throat and looked round at those who had been his staff. ‘You’ll know how I’m feeling today – the same as you,’ he said quietly. ‘I might add that this is one of the saddest days of my life, and I’m not just thinking of myself. The only bright spot is that most of you folk have got jobs to go to, or something to do. That’s a weight off my mind.’

Shona, glancing at those around her, felt something the same. She herself had been lucky, having been appointed to the housekeeper’s job at the Lodge, not just because Miss Bryce wanted her, as Fraser had predicted, but because the man from the council in charge at the interview believed her experience as an orphan would be invaluable. It was true, she’d never worked as a housekeeper, but no one else at the interview could offer her sort of understanding and sympathy with the present-day children, and as much of her work would be with them she would be the best person for the post.

It had been a great relief to her to have something to go to, and an equal relief to know that the others were fixed up, too, except for Cassie. Brigid, for instance, had been taken on by Logie’s, the famous department store in Princes Street, so large and prosperous it had no fears of the recession, while Isla was going to take a typing course, Stuart was doing private tutorial work and Dan was to be driving for a furniture firm. That only left Cassie, who’d been cagey about what she might be doing and kept fixing Shona with mysterious glances as though she might like to talk – as Shona fervently hoped was true. It would make such a difference if she and Cassie could be good friends again before they had to part.

‘You’ll let me know if you find something,’ Fraser was saying to Cassie now. ‘I’ve every confidence you will, and I’ve given you a stunning reference.’

‘Thank you, Mr Kyle. I’m sure I’ll be all right, but you’ve been very kind.’

‘Very kind,’ Brigid suddenly agreed. ‘It’s been grand working for you and we all appreciate that it’s been as hard for you as it has for us.’

‘Quite right,’ said Stuart. ‘I second that.’

‘And me,’ added Dan and as Isla, blushing, said she did, too, Shona stood smiling.

‘We all want to wish you the very best for the future, Mr Kyle,’ she said softly. ‘And say maybe we’ll all be back here again one day, working with your flowers.’

‘Help, I don’t know what to say,’ Fraser muttered with a gulp, his broad face even colouring a little. ‘You’ve been such grand folk to work with. I just hope you’re right, Shona, and we all meet again one day here at Maybel’s.’

There was a chorus of agreement, and after they’d washed their glasses in the staffroom, Fraser said he’d take them upstairs to be packed with the rest of his stuff for Peebles. Then it really was goodbye. They put on their coats, Isla burst into tears, and one by one they shook hands with Fraser.

‘Now you all know where the market garden is and my address in Peebles,’ he cried. ‘I’ll expect to see you over there when you can make it, so don’t let me down, and in the meantime, let’s make this
au revoir
, eh, and not goodbye?’

Au revoir
. Seemed strange to say it, but as Shona met Fraser’s gaze, she knew for her that he meant it.

‘You will try to come over?’ he whispered, ‘just for old time’s sake?’

‘I don’t know – maybe.’

And then they were out in the street and Fraser had closed and locked the door behind them before going up to his flat. Standing together for the last time, they said goodbye again before they went their separate ways, waving sadly, the men making for one tram, Brigid and Isla for another, while Shona and Cassie set off to walk to the Dean.

‘I wanted to talk to you, Shona,’ Cassie said hurriedly. ‘To say I’m sorry I’ve been such a pain in the neck, but I’m over it now. I just think now you did the right thing about Brett, and I’m sure you wouldn’t have been happy with him in the end. You’d never have known where you were, eh?’ She laughed a little weakly. ‘And neither would I.’

‘That’s all right, Cassie,’ Shona answered warmly. ‘You said what you thought was right at the time. Let’s say no more about it and be friends.’

‘Let’s.’ Halting in the middle of the street, they stopped, hugged each other, then set off again.

‘There’s something else I want to tell you,’ Cassie said after a moment. ‘I didn’t want to tell the others – Mr Kyle and everybody – but the thing is, I’m no’ looking for a job, except maybe something temporary. I’m going to marry Archie Smith. We got engaged last week and he’s saving for a ring.’

‘Cassie!’ Shona was stunned. ‘But that’s grand. That’s wonderful. Oh, fancy – Archie and you. Oh, I do wish you all the best!’

‘Kitty’s no’ bothered that I’ll be moving out, either, now that she’s got the baby and her husband’s working for one of the breweries, but I’ll be sorry to say goodbye. She’s been so kind.’

‘Aye, she’s like her ma. I’ll have to be saying goodbye to Mrs Hope and Mrs Gow, too, but of course I’m no’ going far. I’ll always be popping back to see them, and the Dean. Mrs Gow’s like Kitty, she’s no’ bothered I’m going because her daughter wants to visit more, seeing as she’s got a baby too. Seems everything’s worked out well, eh?’

‘Worked out well,’ Cassie agreed. ‘But, listen, good luck for your new job. When do you start?’

‘Monday. You’ll come to see me when you can?’

‘I’d like to. I’d like to see the old place again.’

‘All the best to you, then. I still can’t believe it – I mean, you and Archie engaged. Remember me to him, eh? Tell him I’m thrilled.’

‘I will.’ Cassie paused, looking down. ‘He’s no’ got the looks, you ken, he’s no film star, but he’s a good lad and I think we’ll be happy.’

‘Oh, you will!’ cried Shona. ‘Cassie, you will!’

They parted at Kitty’s house, waving and smiling, before Shona went on to Mrs Gow’s for one of her last evenings in lodgings. From Monday she would again be living in at the Lodge. How strange was that, then? But now she must go and pack, and tomorrow must hug dear Mrs Gow, who’d looked after her so well. She really would miss her. Thank goodness she needn’t make a proper goodbye to her, or to Mrs Hope.

Was it strange to be back at Edina Lodge? Yes it was. Strange, for everything now was seen from a different perspective from when she’d been a child. And yet familiar, for that child’s view was still with her.

Though everyone was so kind, welcoming her back, which made things pleasant enough, she found her work in the early days to be quite hard. There was so much to do and learn – all the ordering of supplies, for instance, and the calculating of how much food would be required, and of how its cost would fit their budget, as well as discussions with the head cook, Mrs Grant, on menus and how to make the meals healthier. (Though Shona had to tread carefully there – not upsetting the cook was the cardinal rule of the kitchen.) And then there was the ordering of the uniforms and other things to wear, including shoes and even slippers, and the organization of the laundry, involving mountains of sheets, towels and all those clothes, of which none must be lost.

Sometimes Shona felt her head was so much in a whirl she longed to be back at Maybel’s, sorting out her flowers for an ordered bouquet, smelling the scents again, thinking out a new design – oh, happy days! But then she remembered the children and what she could do for them and was cheered, for that was the aspect of her job she liked best and was the most valuable.

Especially when, in her first few weeks, several new orphans arrived and had to be helped to settle with varying results. Eventually, most managed to accept their new life, but there was one, a girl of nine who’d lost both parents in an accident and who was so stunned with shock she was in danger of becoming quite withdrawn. Only Shona could get through to her, taking her up to her own room, showing her her photographs and her dear old rabbit still with her, asking why Freda didn’t take her teddy to bed but kept him in a paper bag in her locker.

‘I’m no’ wanting the others to see him,’ Freda said huskily. ‘They’ll say I’m too old to have a teddy.’

‘Och, that’s no’ true! Why, I was eleven when I came here and at first I didn’t want to bring my rabbit – I called him Master Bun – but then he came and I was so happy. You’ll be the same. Why don’t we take your teddy out of his bag and put him in your bed? He’ll be such a comfort to you.’

‘Will he?’ asked Freda, agreeing to the idea anyway, and though Shona knew that a long, long time would have to pass before she could know real comfort again, it was a start, it was something, towards accepting normal life.

‘Is it true, you were here, just like me?’ Freda asked when they’d settled Teddy in her bed, his head on her pillow. ‘And did you get to like it?’

‘Yes, it’s true and I did. Why, here I am back again! I must have liked it, mustn’t I? I made a lot of friends, and so will you. Now, what about putting up your pictures?’ For Shona knew that in the paper bag in the locker were photographs of Freda’s mother and father which Freda would not display. But Freda wasn’t ready to do that yet, the sting of grief was still too sharp, and Shona left it for the moment. Later, Freda would be glad of the photos; for now, she must do what was least painful for her.

‘Well done, Shona,’ Miss Bryce commented, ‘Young Freda is looking just a little better since you talked to her.’

‘I’m afraid she has a long way to go.’

‘Like so many here, unfortunately. We can only do our best.’

‘Mightn’t it be an idea for all new orphans to have an older child to look after them at first?’ Shona asked. ‘I know the staff are only too happy to do that, but can’t always be around.’

‘That’s a good point,’ Miss Bryce agreed. ‘I’ll look into it. Thanks for the idea, Shona. But before I forget, could you organize lists of names of the seniors for Matron? Doctor Mark’s coming in next week to begin doing ear and eye checks.’

‘Yes, Miss Bryce, I’ll see to it,’ Shona replied with routine calm. Inwardly, however, she was excited. Now would be her chance to bite on the bullet and ask about Miss Ruddick. Was she engaged to Dr Mark, or what? But as Shona took the list of names to Matron, she wasn’t sure if she was ready to know.

On the day of the eye and ear tests Shona was in the little room she’d been given as an office, waiting to go along to assist Matron and pretending to herself that she was in full control over the idea of seeing Mark Lindsay again. Nevertheless, when someone tapped lightly at her door she jumped as though shot, though of course she knew it could be anyone wanting to see her; it didn’t have to be Mark.

But it was Mark. He was wearing his dark work suit and carrying his bag and hat, his unruly hair slightly damp, his bright eyes on her. ‘Shona!’ He held out his hand which she shook, remembering its firmness. ‘I’ve only just been told you’re housekeeper here – what happened, then? I mean, to the shop?’

‘It’s closed, for the time being, anyway. Miss Bryce told me about this job – it sort of involves being her assistant as well. So, here I am.’

Now that they’d met and were talking just as usual, she was no longer nervous, just very happy to see him.

‘Back at the Lodge,’ he said softly. ‘And I thought you’d be married by now.’

‘Oh, no.’

‘Cousin gone back to Canada?’ he asked after a moment.

‘Gone, but maybe to Australia.’

‘I was so sure—’ He stopped, his eyes never leaving her face. ‘You don’t want to talk about it?’

She shook her head. Another moment passed. ‘What’s been happening to you, then?’ she asked lightly. ‘Are you married?’

‘Me?’ He laughed. ‘Who would I marry?’

‘Why, Miss Ruddick, of course.’

‘Jay? Hadn’t you heard? She’s gone to Africa.’

‘Africa!’

‘Yes, to look after children in Nigeria. I told you she had plans, didn’t I? Those were the plans. To go abroad, do what she could to help the children. She wanted me to go, too. Purely as a doctor. Nothing romantic, of course. That was never for Jay, as I realized. Eventually.’