Authors: Janet Cooper
He might not understand, but he acknowledged the situation
, Sarah thought, and her admiration for him increased. Glancing over her shoulder at Quick Rabbit, Sarah came to a decision that might solve two problems. "Since I am almost finished weeding, if thou will excuse me, Quick Rabbit, I will walk back to the house with Jeremiah."
The woman's head moved slightly
. Her tense body appeared to relax. Bending down, Sarah gave Quick Rabbit a quick hug.
When they had gone a short distance, Jeremiah stopped and asked, "Back there, I obeyed your unspoken instruction
. Why did she flinch from me? She and I are old friends."
"Right now, Quick Rabbit doesn't trust any man
."
"Because of the
…" he paused, "her violation?"
"Yes, because of the rape
." Sarah refused to use the less descriptive word.
"Will that change
? Can I do anything to help?" His look showed his concern and reinforced the sense of gentleness Sarah had observed before.
"Given time, she will come around
. She needs to recognize that she did nothing wrong. The British soldier attacked her. As to what thou can do, visit her, but never alone, at least at first. Take another woman with you. Keep thy distance, yet make friendly gestures. That should help." Sarah had watched him closely while she talked. He nodded occasionally, and the sympathetic look never left his face. "I'm sure thou will help her."
"I will try," he said
.
"May I ask thee a question?"
"Of course," Jeremiah replied.
"Thou must have known Wolf's wife?"
He nodded.
This is not going to be easy
, she thought, at his less-than forthcoming response. Gathering her nerve, Sarah went on, "What was she like?"
"Clear Water?" Jeremiah stopped and glanced at
Sarah. A contemplative expression filled his face. "She was beautiful."
Sarah
's heart dropped.
"Clear Water enjoyed taking chances, and seldom, if ever, considered the consequence of her actions
." He shook his head as if the action could spur the memories.
"I remember shortly after Luke and she married
. He had just bought a new stallion." Jeremiah stopped. "Did you know that he raises horses?"
"Someone mentioned he did, but told me he wasn't going to restock the farm until after the raids had stopped
."
Jeremiah nodded
. "So he has said. Anyway, Luke bought this horse for a good price, because the former owner could never break him. The stallion stood close to seventeen hands high. His dark coat almost matched the color of Clear Water's hair. She took one look at that horse and decided he would be the perfect mount for her."
Sarah
's depression increased
. Not only was the woman beautiful, but obviously she was an outstanding horsewoman. I can barely stay on board.
For an instant, she almost asked Jeremiah to stop talking about this paragon, but her need to know prevented her from speaking. She started walking, and Jeremiah matched her slow pace.
"Luke did not share Clear Water's vision
. He informed her that he had purchased the stallion to improve his stock, not as a saddle horse. A short time later, while Luke and I were off hunting, Clear Water mounted the big black. She couldn't get a saddle on him, but that didn't bother her. The story goes she'd barely cleared the stable before he charged off toward the cabins. She fought to control him, but he had the bit in his mouth, figurately. As they started down the path that separates the cottages, a small child dashed out. The stallion reared. Clear Water managed to avoid the little girl and regained a semblance of control. When the horse's forelegs hit the ground, one of them slipped into a mole hole. The stallion broke his leg, badly. White Owl had to shoot him.
"After finding out that his wife was unharmed, Luke was furious with her
. They screamed at each other. He warned her to think before she acted. She responded that he didn't own her." Jeremiah shook his head. "Those two fought more than any couple I have ever known."
A spark of hope ignited in
Sarah, but she immediately snuffed it out, feeling guilty that she could take satisfaction in Wolf's marital discord.
They had reached the barnyard
. In a few minutes, they would be back at the house. If Sarah was going to learn more, she must press. "How did Clear Water die?"
Jeremiah stopped, pushed his round, black-felt hat back on his head, and stared off into space
. "I blame myself, and Luke blames me, too." Sadness touched his voice. "Our friendship has been strained since that day. Oh, I have tried to ignore his coolness, but the reality is I was in the canoe when we capsized and she drowned. Her death is my responsibility."
Sarah
placed her hand on his arm. She should stop him. She felt the enormity of his pain and his remorse. Yet, she had to know. Jeremiah's answers might help her in her battle to win Wolf's love.
The kind, soft-spoken colonial rubbed his forehead with the tips of his fingers
. Clearing his throat, he continued, "We had visited a fair earlier in the day. A couple of young, white bucks made a pass at Clear Water. Luke took offense to their actions, while she enjoyed the comments. He insisted we leave. She wasn't ready. After a few sharp words, a normal pattern for them, we headed toward Long Meadow. Since Clear Water went under duress, an ember of anger still burned within her, which sparked the fire that flared later."
He frowned and puckered his lips
. "As we rode, Clear Water insisted that Luke had spoiled her day. To make up, she wanted to go for a boat ride. Since my property borders on the river, we have a couple of canoes that we used for various purposes. Several times, I had offered to take her out, but for one reason or another, we had never gone. We'd had a wet spring. The Brandywine was high and flowing fast."
Sarah
bobbed her head in understanding.
"I was reluctant to go, especially with a novice, but she could charm a rabbit from his hole when she wanted to
." A small smile touched his lips. "Luke snapped that if she didn't care about her own safety, she should remember she had a babe who needed her." Jeremiah's face sobered. His lips tightened into a thin, straight line.
"How did she handle his comment?"
Sarah asked.
The redhead's face soon matched his hair
. "I don't remember what she said."
Sarah
saw his reluctance and sensed that he recalled the conversation vividly, but did not wish to repeat the words. "So, thou took her."
Nodding, Jeremiah said, "Yes
. Luke stomped away, furious. At first, she was excited. I had to remind her to sit still. We stayed close to the bank." He took off his hat, raked his hand through his hair, pulling strands from his tightly tied queue. Replacing his round hat, he looked at Sarah. "I'm not sure what actually happened. With the fast currents, I was busy controlling the boat. One minute she was in the canoe, the next I saw her in the water. I reached for her, but the boat whisked by. I jumped out and tried to swim back. The quick flowing river kept me from making any progress toward reaching her. Her head slipped below the surface. The churning water clouded my vision. I kept trying …"
And probably nearly drowned,
Sarah thought.
"When I finally reached her, it was too late
." Jeremiah bent his head and scuffed the dirt with the toe of his boot. "God. That was the worst day of my life. I lost my best friend, and I killed the woman I loved."
Sarah
stared at him. "Loved? Thou loved her?"
Jeremiah nodded
. "Until today, I have never told anyone how I felt about Clear Water. I've always been ashamed of coveting my friend's wife. It's almost a relief to say the words and admit my guilt."
"Did
either of them ever suspect?"
He thought for a moment
. "No," he replied, "How could they? I never told them."
She wanted to say that actions showed emotions just a clearly as words, but it was not her place to speak thus
.
"Nor would I," he continued
. "They were married. I spent as much time with them as possible. They didn't mind. In fact, they often invited me to join them. Being near her, even if I could touch her only as a friend, was all that I would allow myself. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't relive and regret that day."
Sarah
hugged him. "All of us regret things we do in our lives."
He squeezed her in return, before releasing her
From the corner of her eye, she chanced to see Wolf striding toward them. A grim expression covered his face.
"Will you n
ow take another woman from me?"
His unexpected comment shocked
Sarah. "What is thee talking about?" She whipped around to face him. Anger exploded in her. She blatantly took advantage of his misconception as she lashed out, "Thee had thy chance, but chose to withhold the love that would join us together. I belong to no one." She stomped off.
Jeremiah gripped Wolf's sleeve and twisted him around
. His face matched the evening sunset. "Sarah did nothing. Neither did Clear Water. If you have problems understanding the kindness they showed me, that is not
my fault
. You should be grateful that two wonderful women have loved you. Neither deserved your sharp, cutting words." He dropped his hold, whirled around on his heel and stalked off.
Wolf grabbed Jeremiah's shoulder and spun him around
. "Love? My wife never loved me. She wed me, had my child, but love? She loved only herself." A second later, Wolf found himself on the ground, pain shooting through his jaw as he looked up at his one-time friend.
"Get up and I'll knock you down again
. How dare you insult her? She was wonderful." Jeremiah's breath came in short, quick pants.
Rubbing his jaw with his hand, Wolf eased himself into a half-sitting, half-reclining position, as he tried to decide whether to continue the fight or find a peaceful solution
.
"And
Sarah? Ha! She has eyes for no one but you."
Anger flared within Wolf
. "Then why was she in your arms?"
Jeremiah stayed a pace and a half away from his neighbor as if uncertain of how Wolf would retaliate and appeared unwilling to pursue the argument
. Then, Jeremiah relaxed his arms and let them fall to his sides. "She wanted to know about your wife. I told her about the stallion and about the canoe ride." Tears filled his eyes. "Lord, if only I could undo that day." He gritted his teeth. "When Sarah heard the story, she hugged me. Not because she loves me, but because I told her I had lost the woman that I loved, and that she never even knew I cared." His nostrils flared.
"Oh, but she did," Wolf said, quietly
.
"What?" Jeremiah focused on him
. "What did you say?"
"My wife had told me just before we left for the fair that she was divorcing me
. She knew you loved her. She planned to tell you when we returned to Long Meadow."
"Is that the truth?"
"Why should I lie?"
"Would you have let her go?" Jeremiah questioned
.
"Lenape women don't have to ask their husband's permission to gain a divorce, you should know that
. She needed only to announce her decision by putting my moccasins outside our front door. You know that."
"Would you have let her go?" Jeremiah pressed
.
"If she went alone
. I would not have allowed her to take Little Turtle. She balked at him staying with me, reminding me that all children belong to their mother."
"You would have tolerated the divorce?" Jeremiah did not seem to understand
.
With difficulty, Wolf said, "Neither of us loved the other
. Only the boy kept us together."
"Surely you loved her when you married?"
"You remember how soon we married after we met."
Jeremiah nodded
.
"She needed a husband
. I wanted a wife. We thought we could make it work. We failed." Wolf paused. "Perhaps you would have made her happy."
"I would have tried," his old friend said
.
"Forgive me for blaming you
." Wolf held out his arm. Jeremiah closed his fingers around the muscular forearm raising him to his feet then clapped his other hand on Wolf's shoulder. After a few moments, they broke their hold, but their action and words had cemented the crack in their relationship.
"W
hat are you going to do about Sarah?" Jeremiah asked.
"Only
Gishelamu-kaong
knows," Wolf said.
"Don't you love her?" his friend asked in disbelief
.