Another Cup of Coffee (28 page)

‘You'll never guess what?'

Amy sat up in bed. Her bedside clock said it was only six in the morning, but she was already fully dressed. Clutching her duvet up over her legs and under her chin for warmth and comfort, Amy re-read her bank statement for the third time. She was sure she could literally feel her money slipping through her fingers.

She tried to reassure herself by tracing a finger over the amount in her savings account left from the money she'd earned while working in Scotland. It was a fair bit really. Anywhere in the Midlands, say, or back in Scotland, and it would have been enough to secure a deposit on a small house, but not London, especially not with her rent biting a large chunk out every month. Christmas presents hadn't helped, nor had the train fare to her parents for the holiday season. It was time to live a more frugal life. Though it wasn't as if, Amy mused sadly as she sank against her pillows, she was particularly extravagant in the first place.

Forty-eight

January 5
^th
2007

Rob was kneeling on the floor, the entire contents of the ‘Local Flora' bookshelf at his feet, when the shop bell rang. He turned and, only marginally disappointed that the new arrival wasn't a customer, smiled. ‘Hello, I wasn't expecting you today. Everything all right?'

‘I've had an idea. You got time to talk?'

Glad of the excuse to stop cleaning, Rob stood up and dropped his duster. ‘Sure, I'll put the kettle on.' He busied himself in the small kitchen, calling back through to the shop, ‘Christmas good then?'

‘Great, thanks,' Phil sat on a stool behind the counter, as if trying it for size and comfort. ‘The twins had a great time, way too many toys of course. Not to mention not having enough space to find homes for them all. You?'

‘The same.' Rob carried two mugs of tea through to the shop. ‘So, an idea?'

‘You know about Jack going away for a while, I assume.'

‘Yes,' Rob ruffled a hand through his recently acquired spiky haircut, ‘bit of a surprise, but as he's all happied-up for once, who am I to stand in his way? Anyway, it's more his shop than mine, he can do what the hell he likes.'

Phil stood back up and leant against the counter, ‘Will you manage here alone?'

‘For now. Jack's rarely in these days anyway. It'll depend how long he's gone for.' Rob started to unwrap a box of books a courier had left on the counter. ‘Come March, the tourists will start arriving, that's when I'll need some help.'

Phil put his mug down and quietly surveyed the shop. ‘I could help.'

Rob nearly choked on his tea. ‘You?'

‘Not so mad, is it?' Phil asked.

‘No, but … well, you're a captain of industry, this is just a bookshop.'

‘Not
just
a bookshop surely,' Phil lifted up the top book from the pile in front of Rob, and weighed it in his hands. ‘You and Jack have a niche market here; I wonder if you exploit that enough.'

‘Are you saying,' Rob battled to speak calmly, despite rapidly becoming excited by Phil's suggestion, ‘that you could help us in that direction?'

Phil drained his tea, ‘How about I nip out and get a couple of sandwiches. You stick all those flower books back on the shelf, and we'll talk?'

‘You're on! Tuna and mayo for me please. On white.'

It had been so busy in Pickwicks that Kit hadn't managed to talk to Amy that morning. She watched her friend move around the café, performing her job with her usual neat efficiency. That was the key word though, “performing”. Whenever she thought no one was looking, the mask came down. Kit was worried by how fragile Amy seemed, how drawn around the eyes she was. Then, like an actress returning to her role on stage, Amy would plaster on her smile and deliver coffee, cake and sandwiches as if it gave her the most joy in the world.

‘She's learnt that trick from you.' Kit called to Peggy as she paused on a return journey from clearing a table.

Popping the tray laden with dirty cups onto Kit's table, Peggy asked, ‘What's that?'

‘Amy, she's got your “customer first” face down pat. But have you seen her when she lets her guard down?'

‘I thought she seemed a bit tired.' Peggy picked her tray back up, ‘she said she didn't sleep too well. Money worries, I guess.'

Peggy disappeared into the kitchen, not looking too great herself. Kit toyed with the idea of helping out, but Peggy had already told her, in a voice that would brook no argument, that she'd ask if she wanted help.

Money worries. That may well be part of Amy's problem. Kit wished that Phil would hurry up and decide what he was going to do about work. She was sure however, that Jack was as big a factor in Amy's ashen face as her finances were. She'd heard all about Amy's pre-Christmas stay at Rob's, and her new determination to get on with her life, but Kit had a sneaky feeling she might not be finding it as easy as all that.

Kit studied the pages of her notebook. She needed to develop a way of linking the next part of her novel with the chapters she'd already drafted, without it appearing disjointed. Today her brain didn't seem up to the challenge. Putting her pen down, Kit picked up her mug. The dregs of coffee that languished at the bottom smelled cold and stale. Her throat recoiled from the idea of drinking them, and Kit picked up her mobile instead.

Hey Jack. Words not flowing. Coffee? Kx

Two minutes later she got a reply.

Sounds good, but over at Ashford's. Can you come here? Jx

What a surprise
, Kit thought ironically. Toby must be at work. A concept that Jack worried about less and less these days. Kit weighed it up. Did she really fancy crossing London for a cup of coffee? Chances were she'd get no sense out of Jack if he was watching Toby in flirty waiter mode. Not the best time or place to share her concerns about Amy.

Sorry. Need to get kids soon. Maybe tomo? Kx

Tomo good. Old haunt 1pm? Jx

Kit smiled. Maybe it would actually just be the two of them. It suddenly felt like an extremely long time since they'd had time alone together.

Great. Tomo then Kx

Amy's mobile vibrated in her apron pocket. Gathering up some dirty plates she headed through to the kitchen. Dumping the tray down, she fished out her phone. Colour flushed through her cheeks and a broad grin settled onto her face.

‘Good news?' Scott glanced over to her from his seat by the cooker, relieved to see a genuinely happy expression on her face for the first time in ages.

Amy re-read the text from Rob.

Paul will call ASAP with visiting date. In Nepal at moment. Come and share takeaway tonight? R x

‘Yes thanks. Very good.' Amy started to hum happily to herself as she stacked the crockery haphazardly into the dishwasher, before sending a very positive reply.

Forty-nine

January 6
^th
2007

‘So have you got a rough plan together yet?' Kit took a giant bite of cake, wiping icing from her lips as she did so.

‘The trip you mean?'

Kit nodded. Her mouth was too full to risk an audible response.

‘Sort of. We've spent hours surfing the Internet for deals and ideas.'

Feeling she could now safely speak without spraying the area with crumbs, Kit prompted, ‘And?'

‘We've booked a flight into Barcelona on the 1
^st
February, and a coach across to Tarragona.'

‘Have you told your Dad that you're coming?'

‘Coming out or coming over?' Kit winced at the terrible joke as Jack topped up his cup from the cafetière they were sharing. ‘No. That's the tricky bit. If I tell Dad I'm bringing someone, he'll assume it's a girl, making it even harder when I turn up with Toby.'

‘And I guess you don't want to tell them you're gay over the phone.'

‘No way! That has to be done in person. It may be awful, doing the confession bit, but I owe Dad that.'

‘I agree,' Kit's expression showed her approval; she'd been worried that Jack would just drop his father an email or something. ‘Any other way would be cruel.'

‘So, we've decided to book a hotel room nearby, then I'll go and surprise them at the villa, and
if
all goes well, I'll introduce Dad and Jane to Toby. If not, we'll head off on our travels earlier than hoped.'

Kit gathered her hair away from her face, stuffing it into a stubby pony tail, with the elastic tie she always wore around her wrist. ‘How does Toby feel about this?'

‘How do you mean?'

‘Will he mind having a day, maybe two, alone?'

Jack was confused. ‘Why would he be on his own? We're going together.'

‘Oh come on Jack, don't be dense.' Kit couldn't believe his short sightedness, ‘You can't turn up unannounced after not seeing your Dad for over a year and dive straight in. They'll want to chat, catch up, and eat meals and things. You know; normal family stuff.'

‘I hadn't thought of that.'

‘Obviously.' Kit despaired of him sometimes.

Suddenly preoccupied, Jack began to tap rhythmically at the rim of his cup, ‘Kit, can I ask you something?'

‘Sure?'

‘Do you think I'm selfish?'

His question caught Kit off guard. ‘Why do you ask that?'

Jack ran his hands over his face, ‘Ah. So you mean the answer is yes.'

‘No!' Kit regarded him carefully, and decided on the truth. ‘You can be very self-absorbed sometimes. That's not the same as selfish.'

Jack looked winded. He'd assumed Kit would say “of course not” without even thinking. ‘What's the difference then?'

‘Selfish is pure thoughtlessness. Self-absorbed isn't ill intentioned. With you I think it's become a form of self-defence.'

Jack laughed, no longer surprised by her insight, ‘Thanks. I think.'

‘Why did you ask me?'

Jack put his cup down and sat up straight, a guarded expression on his face. ‘Something Toby said. We had a bit of a row about stuff and well, it made me start thinking about Amy.'

‘That's why I wanted to see you.'

‘I know.'

‘You did?' Now Kit was surprised, Jack didn't normally notice how other people felt. Not so self-absorbed these days then.

‘I'm worried about her. She nods and smiles when Toby's talking, says all the right things. Amy always engages Toby in conversation, asks polite and interested questions. She even joins in with Toby, laughing and joking at my expense.'

Jack waved his hands around as he told Kit how he'd sat back for a few moments the other day and watched Amy and Toby interact. ‘They have stuff in common, they like the same things. They could have been friends for weeks, months even. And yet I'm not convinced.'

‘Amy's like that, though.' Kit licked some stray sugar from her fingers. ‘It's the same at Pickwicks. She talks to customers she's never met before like she's known them for all her life.'

Jack shrugged, ‘How am I supposed to know if she's really pleased for me? If she does like Toby, or if she's just being, well, Amy?'

‘Of course she likes him, he's lovely.'

‘But how can you be sure? You know how well she does the interested stranger bit.'

Kit considered for a moment. ‘I can't explain it Jack, but I'm sure that Amy would have let you know if she didn't like him.'

‘I guess so.' Jack still appeared troubled

Kit pre-empted his next statement, ‘But?'

‘That doesn't mean she's pleased for me, does it, even if she does like him?'

Kit felt on stony ground here, what could she say? How could she explain what she suspected Amy was feeling? It wasn't that long ago that she had felt pushed aside by Amy herself. Now Toby was unwittingly doing the same to Amy. ‘I know Amy likes Toby. She told me she did, but I suspect that she is a bit low, that's all.'

‘Low?'

Kit moved closer to Jack, using the voice she adopted with the twins when they had a difficult maths problem to sort out, ‘Think about it. It must have taken a hell of a lot of guts to come to London after all those years cut off from her friends in self-imposed exile. No sooner is she back and freshly re-instated with you as her main confidant, when her status with you, albeit on a different footing than before, is jeopardised all over again.'

Jack trailed a finger around the rim of his cup, ‘I suppose that makes sense. What can I do though? This thing with Toby, well it feels …' he hesitated, not daring to say the words. ‘It may well not work out, but I can't not try. I can't not …'

‘Of course not! You have to go for it. Amy would kill you if you didn't, and she'd feel guilty as hell if she knew she'd got in the way of having the chance of, well …' Kit searched for a phrase that wouldn't make Jack panic, ‘… a period of happiness.'

‘But I thought she wanted me single, so she could keep having me to herself.' Jack sounded confused.

‘Don't be daft! Amy is a bit low, that's all. She isn't stupid. You're gay, for heaven's sake, and she doesn't have a problem with that.' Indignant on Amy's behalf, Kit said, ‘Amy would love you to be happy and settled. I think it's the timing that's a bit crap from her point of view, that's all.'

Jack sat up; he looked hopeful, ‘Is that what she said then?'

Feeling like the piggy-in-the-middle, Kit saw how Rob must have felt when he was at university dealing with the Jack-and-Amy fallout, ‘Not exactly, but I know that she's happy you're happy. I also know she genuinely likes Toby. She just feels a bit out of it.'

‘But I've included her; she's met Toby a few times now!'

Kit spoke patiently, as if she was again explaining some difficult homework to the twins. ‘How many times have you seen her
on your own
since you told her about Toby?'

‘Well … I haven't actually had much time lately, I …' Jack finally understood. ‘She feels left out.'