Antonia's Choice (41 page)
Authors: Nancy Rue
Tags: #Fiction, #Religious, #Contemporary Women, #Religion, #Christian Life, #Inspirational
“What does this mean, their coming back so fast?” I whispered to Chris.
He shook his head, but his mouth was in a long thin line. I had a feeling he knew, and he couldn't bring himself to tell me. The man on the other side of me was more forthcoming.
“Usually means a unanimous vote to acquit,” he said. “Must be a bunch of child molesters themselves, this jury.”
“Thanks.” The inside of my mouth turned to sawdust.
The jury filed in then, none of them looking at Bobbi, who was surveying every one of them with those same unfeeling eyes. If she was aware of anyone else in the courtroom, she had us all fooled.
The judge asked if the jury had reached a verdict, which the foreman said they had.
“At least they ain't a hung jury,” the man next to me said. “That woulda meant a whole new trial.”
I slanted my body away from him and wished somebody would hang
him.
The suspense was not as delicious as it was when I watched
Law and Order.
It was driving into my heart like a stake.
The judge silently read the slip of paper that was handed to him, which he then gave back to the clerk and instructed Bobbi to rise. Her attorney helped her up as if she were the crown princess. It was the first time I'd seen her standing. Normally as tall and meaty as Stephanie, she was lost in the orange coveralls. Reggie would have said she was worse than “tragic.”
“On all counts of child neglect and endangerment,” the clerk read, “the jury finds the defendant, Roberta Vyneâguilty.”
I grabbed for Chris's hand. It was right there, smothering mine in cold, frightened flesh.
“On all counts of child molestation,” the clerk went on, “the jury finds the defendant, Roberta Vyneâguilty.”
An approving murmur went through the courtroom, greeted with a pound of the gavel from the bench. I was surprisingly numb, until from the seat in front of me, a scream went up that rent the air and brought the room to silence.
“No! No, that's my baby. She couldn't have. She couldn't have!”
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the bailiff heading toward her, face grim.
“Chris,” I said.
He was way ahead of me. With my mother still shrieking and plucking hysterically at her silk suit, Chris put both arms around her and held her from behind, over the seat, and spoke to her in even tones.
“Eileenâit's okay. Calm down. You have to calm down.”
The shrieking stopped as she burst into silent, wrenching sobs and lay her head back against Chris's chest. He half-carried her out of the courtroom.
I stayed, and I looked at Bobbi. Who was going to calm her down, now that she had seen her last stalwart going to pieces?
There was no need for anyone. Bobbi did look in the direction of Mama's seat, and at last her eyes met mine. But there was nothing, not even a trace of concern for her mother, and certainly no shame as she looked at me.
Dear God, she still doesn't think she's done anything wrong.
Dominica had been right. A person could choose not to take the choice that lay so clearly before herâbut the results were disastrous. Bobbi had had that choice a long time ago, when she knew her husband was exploiting and abusing innocent children, and she had turned her back on it. Now there was nothing in her eyes as she looked away from me, because there was no longer anyone there.
But I knew there was something in my eyes. I knew there was clarity. I knew what to do.
I pushed my way through the crowd that milled at the doorway,
craning my neck for my husband. We had to get Ben and we had to go home, together, the three of us, and live in one house. We had to raise our son to continue to rise above what two sick people had done to him.
And we had to do it with the help of a God who through Christ was more real than anything else I now knew.
And that wasn't just a Hobson's choice. That was Antonia's choice.
If you or anyone you know is or has been the victim of pornography, incest, or any form of sexual abuse,
do not
assume that the effects will heal with time. Time, without benefit of treatment, often makes things worse. Get help, whether therapy, spiritual direction, or counsel, on how to proceed with prosecution. If you don't know where to turn, the following resources can get you started:
RAINNâRape Abuse Incest National Network, (800) 656-HOPE.
Abuse and Assault, (800) 962-2873.
National Coalition Against Sexual Assault, (717) 232-7460.
Especially helpful if you are interested in participating in legal reform.
National Child Abuse Hotline, (800) 422-4453.
New Life Treatment Centers, (949) 376-0707. This Christian organization will help you find Christian treatment centers in your area.
ISCUSSION
Q
UESTIONS FOR
Antonia's Choice
To the Reader from the Author
Do you remember back in high school when you'd read an assigned book for English class that was actually pretty decent, and then the teacher would ruin it by giving you a list of questions to answer? (It was even worse when the teacher made you write the questions out. It didn't take a genius to figure out that was designed to keep the class quiet for an extra fifteen minutes!)
As the author of
Antonia's Choice,
I would rather consume an entire jar of pickled eggs than think that the list of questions below is going to remind you of Mrs. Magilicutty's sophomore English class! The questions you'll find here are designed only to allow you to further enter the fictional world I've created in hopes that you'll find even deeper meaning for yourself there. If the thought makes you want to construct spitballs, skip this part completely! In any case, there are no have-tos and right-or-wrong answers here. My hope is that you will simply enjoy journeying further with Antonia and the group, moving closer to yourself and to our God. It's your choice!
Some of the early readers of
Antonia's Choice
have said that it takes Toni an inordinately long time to figure out what has happened to Ben, especially in light of the evidence that is right under her nose. Why do you think an otherwise very intelligent woman would be so clueless? Do you ever fall into that way of dealing (or not dealing!) with things? Is it truly cluelessness, or is God's hand in there somehow?Take a look at your adult past and see if you can remember
any Hobson's choices you've had to make. Choose one of those take-it-or-leave-it situations and think about it: Did you “take it” or did you “leave it”? Don't beat yourself up if you counted the cost and found it too much. Now is a good time to examine that, figure out the reason you turned away (beyond “I was just a loser”), and go back to God with it.As a result of the sacrifices Toni made for Ben's healing, she actually reaped huge benefits for both of them. You might want to discuss or think back to what those were. More important, look at your own life, perhaps in two ways: One, can you now see the gifts that have come to you on various levels as a result of sacrifices you've had to make? And two, if you're being called upon right now to give up some plan or dream or possession of your own, can you see how God is changing you, or how He could change you?
Toni's true commitment to Christ is made quietly and without fanfare. She simply understands in a moment of clarity what it means to be born again. Would you rather have seen a more dramatic conversion scene? What was your own moment of clarity like? Or hasn't it come yet? What stands between you and what Toni discovered about Christ? Be as authentic and honest about this as you can. This isn't a pressure question!
Dominica is a pretty direct character. She lays things out for Toni in an almost abrupt way in their first meeting. Did that put you off? How about their later discussions? Do you agree with Dominica's theology?
Finally, let's get down to the subject matter of the book. I tried to present the very real problem of child molestation in a way that was realistic and clear, without being graphic about it. Did I succeed? How did you respond on an emotional level to what happened to Ben and Wyndham and the other children? Can you do anything about this wretched problem in our society? If you can,
please do. If you are moved to work socially, there is an organization for abused children in or near every town in America that can help you determine what you can do to help. If your response is on a more personal level, seek professional help. I beg you not to allow any incident of molestation, no matter how small it may seem to you, to go undealt with. Most of all, I ask you to pray. If you're in a group study, pray together right now. We must protect our young ones, one child at a time.
HE
B
ET
: A
LL OR
N
OTHING
, G
AIN OR
L
OSS
?
Confirmed atheist Jill McGavock faces the mental deterioration of her brilliant mother. In a quest to cope with this devastating situation, Jill seeks out philosophy professor Sam Bakalis. Savvy Sam challenges Jill to make “Pascal's wager”âto “bet” that God exists by acting as if He does. The results not only change Jill's mind but transform her life in ways she never could have imagined. An exciting, faith-building thriller!
ISBN 1-57673-826-4
This is a work of fiction. The characters, incidents, and dialogues are products of the author's imagination and are not to be construed as real.
Any resemblance to actual events or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
ANTONIA'S CHOICE
published by Multnomah Publishers, Inc.
Published in association with the literary agency of Alive Communications, Inc., 7680 Goddard Street, Suite 200, Colorado Springs, CO 80920
©2003 by Nancy Rue
Multnomah
is a trademark of Multnomah Publishers, Inc., and is registered in the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office.
The colophon is a trademark of Multnomah Publishers, Inc.
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any meansâelectronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwiseâwithout prior written permission.
For information:
MULTNOMAH PUBLISHERS, INC.
POST OFFICE BOX 1720
SISTERS, OREGON 97759
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data:
Rue, Nancy.
    Antonia's choice : a novel / by Nancy Rue.
            p. cm.
   1. Bed and breakfast accommodationsâFiction. 2. Adult children of aging parentsâFiction. 3. Single womenâFiction. I. Title.
    PS3618.U35A84 2003
    813'.6-dc21
2003001337
eISBN: 978-0-307-56446-7
v3.0