Anything For Him (17 page)

As Liuz had predicted, we were separated the minute the police arrived at the murder scene. I was offered a trip to the hospital for a check over, but declined, stating that I was physically fine, just shaken up with the horror at the events of what I’d thought would be a quiet evening with my boyfriend and his mate.

As if Beefcake could ever fall under the heading of ‘mate’?

Stepping into my silent flat, I leaned my back against the bolted door. My stomach growled with hunger, but nausea had moved in like an unwelcome squatter in my belly – I knew I wouldn’t eat for some time.

My palms were clammy and itchy, my eyes dry and my tongue stuck to the roof of my mouth. I felt horrid but I was all right. I hadn’t been arrested, just questioned, and I’d done what Liuz had asked of me. Said all the right things about how events unfolded and acted dumb when Officer Lederman quizzed me about the identity of the other victim and the murderers.

Somewhere within myself I’d also found the dignity to hold my chin up when asked about the scene the intruder had met when he’d barged into Liuz’s apartment. I wasn’t proud to say that I’d been in bed with two men, naked and being screwed senseless. But I needn’t have worried. The declaration didn’t even widen Officer Lederman’s eyes. I guessed he’d seen it all before – it was just a damn shame he reminded me so much of my dad.

I wandered not into the kitchen but into my study, peeled off my clothes, right down to my underwear, and stared at my mural of Liuz.

Twice the sequence of events had been gone over by Lederman. Notes were taken while a tape recorder whirred. He’d given me a cup of tea too. I hadn’t drunk it. My words throughout the questioning had been carefully chosen, though I didn’t bother to hide my underlying distress at seeing two men murdered. That had been gruesome and would linger for a very long time in my memory.

But I surprised myself with my calculating mind and the strength I’d found within. I’d given up so much for Liuz, done so many reprehensible things – what did a few more matter? I won’t deny I was frightened, especially when I had to scurry my mind back to things I’d said earlier, when I’d still been shaking with shock. But I remained resolute and in control. When you had everything to lose it was amazing how you found the strength to protect what was yours.

I snapped shut my curtains and flicked on the local radio. Wondered if there would be news of the Woodstone Road shooting and the murder of one of the district’s most notorious criminals – I didn’t know if that was the case, if Beefcake was one of the district’s most notorious criminals, but my journalist mind couldn’t help but pre-guess the story slant.

I bent for my box of paints and my head was suddenly filled with an image of Beefcake lying with his brains blasted out. I stumbled and dropped to my knees. Scrabbled for my palette. The shock of the image was sickeningly detailed and it jumped uninvited into my mind’s eye a nasty surprise.

There was only one thing for it.

I had to get the image down despite still having Beefcake’s dried blood on me. It would give me control and allow me to look at it only when I wanted to. I couldn’t cope with such macabre and sudden intrusions into my own mind.

Diligently, I blobbed out the colours needed to paint Beefcake’s final form. The police had asked me about him. I’d said, as agreed with Liuz beforehand, that he was a friend of my boyfriend’s who’d popped around for a drink and some fun. Three times Officer Lederman had gone back to the relationship between Liuz and Beefcake. Three times I’d given the same answer. Vague and loose and playing dumb, it allowed Liuz to say what he needed without being tripped up by information I gave.

I mixed grey with blue and a little white, for it was the brain matter that was the overwhelming image of Beefcake. Then just above the skirting board, about a metre away from Liuz’s painted feet, I began my gruesome picture. It was cathartic, though, and instantly I felt the release, the cleansing process of putting the image into a form that I had control over.

I wondered where Liuz was, if he was still at the station. Officer Lederman said, as I’d been released, that he was being kept for a few more questions. I hoped he was holding up all right and prayed that he was sticking to the story he’d so carefully mapped out for me and that I’d followed to the letter.

What I wouldn’t do right now to be with him, hold him, comfort him. He needed me, I could sense it. It was like we had some kind of telepathy going on. He was upset and having a rough time. His woman at his side would be a good thing. I could prop him up with some of my inner strength.

Finishing Beefcake’s shocked features and messy brains, I glanced at the life-size drawing of Liuz. His brooding face, huge erection and long limbs had me buzzing, despite the horrors of the night. I remembered the awesome orgasm I’d had, riding him hard and having another cock in my ass. I’d been off-the-scale ecstatic – I’d actually feared for my sanity throughout the whole fuck. My mind had spun into another dimension entirely.

A better, sweeter image bombarded me. One that must have been reality for Teddy as he’d burst into the bedsit. It was me on top of Liuz, my head thrown back in climax, Beefcake shunting into me, his bulk vast compared to mine and his wobbly skin red and blotchy with exertion. His meaty fingers latched onto my hips.

I got busy with my paintbrush again; I was merely a puppet painting the pictures that flooded my mind. In the top right-hand corner of the wall I drew a crude bed – dank, green sheets and a shadowy brown streak for the floor. Liuz was my next addition, sumptuous orange mixed with a little brown and yellow for his flesh, the perfect sun-baked look. I tipped his head back into the pillow, his Adam’s apple jutting like on the very first picture I’d seen of him. I tangled my own painted limbs over his middle, bent-up knees hiding his hips, arms reaching onto the bed, supporting myself. I’d spent years working on my craft of committing images to paper, canvas, or in this case a wall, and tonight I was glad that the act of doing it came naturally and with such an easy flow. Worrying about the length of a back and the direction of light just wouldn’t have helped when I had a mind full of worries about Liuz.

Would his crime of setting up a beating that had turned into grisly murders stay a secret? Of course, once more than one person knew something it technically was no longer a secret. But I didn’t count, I was in love with him, nothing would ever make me tell. Plus, Liuz didn’t even know I knew about his involvement with Teddy. As far as he was concerned I just thought Beefcake had finally met his match and it was damn bad luck it was at Liuz’s place.

I drew Beefcake now, on his knees behind me, his hips pressed into my ass cheeks. I gave him an expression of rapture, mouth almost tilted in a smile as he looked down at where he entered me. It was his last moment of pleasure before he died. I had given him that.

Weird, but that gave me a feeling of pride.

And what about me? Would my crime stay undetected? I’d known what was going to happen hours before it had. I didn’t know the name of the law I’d broken but I was sure there was one. It must be illegal not to tell the police about a rough-up that was going down.

I stepped back and admired my third image, me being fucked by Liuz and Beefcake. It was lewd and dramatic; all three of our expressions blissful and stuck like that for eternity.

What punishment would I be subjected to if I was found out? Would it be a jail sentence or a ticking off? I had no idea. There was only one thing I really knew for sure and that was I had to be with Liuz. My whole body was aching with the need to feel him against me, in me, around me. I could almost smell his skin; smoky maleness that held such a wealth of shockingly sexy memories and seductive promises.

Swiftly, I drew his hands and wrists on another spare patch of wall. Sinewy tendons and round joints covered in a fuzz of dark hair. Elegant fingers with short, square nails. I adored his hands. I needed them on me so much it hurt.

I wanted his painted hands to come to life. So I stared at them, willed them with my eyes and my thoughts. If I could have one wish it would be that he was here now, holding me, making everything all right in my world.

The doorbell jumped to life with a trill.

I started then stared into my hallway at the front door as though I could penetrate it with my gaze.

Who the hell was calling on me at two in the morning?

Liuz?

I dropped my brush, dashed out of the room and tugged the door shut. Raced to the peephole. A glut of apprehension and hope poured into my soul as I splayed my palms against the cool wood and peered through.

It was him.

Elation bolted through me and my heart soared. A new wave of nausea crashed in my stomach, sending bile shooting up my gullet.

How did he know where I lived?

Perhaps I should be cautious and not answer the door. I’d never told him my address, had been very careful not to. It gave me an element of control, more power almost than the stop word.

But the bare bones of my desperation were all that existed, and I flung open the door and stared up at him.

‘Hannah,’ he said, glancing over his shoulder.

I noticed a blob of dried blood on his cheek.

‘Can I come in?’

‘Yeah, sure.’

Liuz in my flat. Oh dear Lord above.

‘What’s the matter?’ I asked, flicking my gaze towards the stairwell.

‘It is fine,’ he said, stepping over the threshold. ‘I got a lift here, just checking that he was gone.’

‘Oh, who by, I mean, who gave you a lift?’

‘A policeman. I was not allowed back to my place, it is cordoned off. Seemed sensible to say I would come and stay with my girlfriend.’

Girlfriend.

‘I know,’ he said, placing his hands on my shoulders and looking down into my face. ‘It felt a bit odd that I did not know where my girl lived, but luckily the policemen did, and they drove me straight here without even asking me the address. Thank fuck it was you who answered this door, this was the first one I tried.’

‘Yeah, I can’t imagine the other three residents in this building would have been very pleased to see you in the dead of the night.’

I swallowed tightly at the choice of the word ‘dead’ on tonight of all nights.

He didn’t seem to notice. Instead, he slid his gaze down my body. ‘What you got all over you?’

‘Paint.’

He pulled his brows low.

‘I like to paint, it helps when I have something on my mind.’

‘Can I see what you have painted?’

Oh, fuck!

‘No, I, er, I haven’t finished it yet. Let’s, let’s get a drink.’ I went to move away from him, to go into the kitchen, but he tightened his hold on me and lowered his head. The next thing I knew he was giving me such a tender, soul-aching kiss that my heart melted. He allowed his soft lips to play with mine, peeked his tongue into my mouth. I drank up his flavour. It was all I would ever need, and I kissed him back with fervour, to show him that I was there for him. I was standing by him and would for all of time.

Eventually he pulled away. ‘Yeah, let’s get that drink. Something strong.’

I headed into the kitchen and felt his gaze on my ass. I was still wearing just my underwear.

‘You hot or something?’ he asked.

‘Yes, it was boiling in the police station. I couldn’t stand it.’ I reached for two fat-bottomed wine glasses and twisted off the screw cap on a bottle of Shiraz.

After pouring two generous glasses, I handed him one and sipped on my own.

He gulped his down, more than half in one go, deep glugging sounds coming from his throat. Good wine was clearly wasted on Liuz; he couldn’t have tasted even a hint of the ripe-berry flavour the label boasted.

After he’d swallowed he looked into my eyes. ‘Did you stick to our story?’

‘Of course.’

‘You didn’t mention any names?’

‘No, only Beef – I mean Grant. But I didn’t know his surname was Hunter, they told me that.’

Liuz nodded and tugged at his bottom lip with his teeth. I wanted to do that, I wanted to tug his bottom lip with my teeth then kiss and kiss until morning.

‘How about you? Did you stick to it?’

‘Yeah, it was straightforward enough. Just told them that we were having a good time.’ He gave a small micro-expression, a slight wrinkle of his nose and a gritting of his teeth. ‘And that we had let Grant join us.’

I supped on my wine and thought of the picture I’d just created on the opposite side of the wall to where Liuz stood now. I couldn’t let him see it. He would hate the image if just mentioning our threesome made him grimace involuntarily. Shame it was so damn horny for me, though. While Liuz had been struggling with sharing me with his enemy, I was having a wonderful time. What a fucked-up situation.

‘Hannah,’ he said.

‘Mmm, what sorry, what did you say?’

‘I said, you didn’t mention any of the stuff you had heard about hooky booze, did you?’ He frowned at me, like a stern parent.

I gawped at him and shoved my hand on my hip. ‘No, of course not. What do you take me for?’

He gave a sharp shrug and pinched the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger. When he moved his hand two white fingerprints stayed. ‘Hard to know who to trust sometimes.’

‘You can trust me, you can always trust me.’ I set my wine aside and reached for him. Wound my arms around his slim waist and tilted my head. When I spoke again my voice was soft and soothing. ‘I’m here for you, Liuz. You can count on me to be at your side, forever.’

He looked at me, relieved I’d say, going by the tight lines around his mouth disappearing, the frown vanishing. I’d done that, made his fears go away, and I felt inordinately proud of myself. We had something going, didn’t we? Hard to deny it when we were so in tune with so many things – we were destined to meet, I’d swear it. I supposed he did have to ask those questions about him trusting me, whether I’d put my foot in it and got him into trouble – and if I had, it wouldn’t have been intentionally. God, no. I wanted this man in my life for a good while to come – like I’d told him, forever – and I’d do anything to keep him there. I’d proven that with covering up a murder, for God’s sake. I didn’t think you could get any more loyal than that.