Anything For You: A Coming Home Short Story (2 page)

She tightened her grip on her purse as she stepped into the elevator with him. His return to war was a fear she was going to have to deal with.

“You’re being quiet,” he said, boxing her in, his arms framing her, his big body blocking her view as he nuzzled her neck. They were alone, so she lifted her face to his. He kissed her, and warmth flooded her as his mouth moved over hers. This, she craved. Her lips parted beneath his, her fingers curled into his chest. She lost herself in his taste, the strength beneath her palms.

He lifted his mouth from hers, nuzzling her cheek. “Sure I can’t coax you out to one of the training areas to be a little bit wild?”

“You’re a bad influence,” she whispered. He stepped back as the elevator came to a halt, just in time to allow a full bird colonel and a lady with three kids into the elevator.

“I try. Carponti’s rubbing off on me.”

“That is deeply disturbing.”

Shane laughed. His hand sought the back of her neck, his fingers caressing her skin beneath her blonde hair. A shiver ran down her spine, and she seriously reconsidered her short lunch restrictions.

“Are you still meeting with Sergeant Major Giles?” she asked as they stepped off the elevator to the cafeteria.

“Later today.” He glanced down at her. “Don’t worry, I’m not running off to the desert any time soon.”

She handed him a tray. “I
was just thinking about how nice it’s been having you all to myself these last few months. I don’t want to share you with the Army.”

Shane said nothing as they moved through the line, then made their way outside to the cool Fort Hood afternoon and sat beneath the shade of a large tree. “Is it worrying you a lot? Me going back into the fight?”

“It keeps me up a little bit,” she admitted, as they sat beneath the shade of a large tree.

The silence hung between them for a moment. Then Shane reached for her hands, cradling them in his. She stared down at their fingers, threaded together. His thumb caressed her palm gently.

“There’s nothing set in stone, Jen,” he said softly.

“I know.” She lifted her gaze to his. “I’ll be okay, Shane. I know this is important to you.”

“I love you.” His thumb stopped, his eyes dark. “More than the Army.”

She held up both hands. “No. We’re not discussing this right now. You’ve worked too hard on your recovery to talk about getting out.”

“I screwed up my first marriage by being gone too much, Jen. I won’t do that to you.”

She leaned forward, cupping his face, not caring that he was in uniform or that public displays of affection were frowned up
on. “And I won’t do that to you. So let’s change the subject and talk about something more fun. Our first Valentine’s Day.”

He kissed her palm before she released him. Her heart swelled at his gentle touch. How could a man so big be so full of love and caring?

He toyed with his pasta. “So, I’m not very good at romance. I could use a few hints about what to get you.”

“Well, I’m not too high maintenance. I can make it easy for you. I don’t like chocolate that much and honestly, a night on the couch watching a movie sounds amazing.”

“You really don’t like chocolate?”

She tried to ignore the look of disappointment that flickered in his eyes. “This is not news,” she said with a smile.

“I know. I just figured you weren’t so adamantly against chocolate that you wouldn’t want to try something later.” He cleared his throat. “Later tonight.”

She narrowed her eyes at him but couldn’t prevent the flush heating her cheeks. “You haven’t been taking relationship advice from Carponti, have you?”

Shane laughed, a deep laugh that crinkled the edges of his eyes and rumbled in his chest. “No. I was joking.” His eyes drifted down to her mouth. “Mostly.”

Jen laughed quietly as she stood and led the way indoors. “There is something wrong with you.”

“You’re not going to help me out with this whole Valentine’s Day thing, are you?” Shane took her tray and dumped it with his onto the conveyor belt.

“I was serious. An evening on the couch watching a movie sounds wonderful to me. Maybe you could rub my feet.”

“I like where this is going.” He placed his hand on the small of her back, guiding her away from the elevator to the stairwell.

She didn’t wait for the door to close behind them. The stairs in the hospital were not a low traffic area, but for a moment, she wrapped her arms around his neck and felt the joy of him pulling her close. Their lips met in a fierce kiss that left her wanting more.

Footsteps on the stairs above them ended their interlude before they got carried away, but he kept his hand on the small of her back as they climbed to the third floor. The simple touch carried such a fierce protectiveness in it.

“I’ll see you later,” she said, brushing her lips against his.

He nodded. “I don’t think Sarn’t Major will keep me long.”

She watched him until he disappeared around the corner. She had never hidden her worry about him going back to full duty. She’d never hidden her fear that he would go back to war and that she might lose him.

But she wasn’t about to let her fear take something so important away from him. If he decided to get out of the Army, it wouldn’t be because he was afraid of losing her. It would be because it was something he wanted to do.

Jen would just have to figure out a way deal with it, just like Army wives everywhere had always done.

*   *   *

Shane left the sergeant major’s office, not entirely certain why he’d been called there to begin with. A vague, unsettled feeling sank in his stomach during his ride home. Sergeant Major had confirmed Carponti’s suspicions that Ike was screwing up, but there was more. Much more. Corruption at all levels of command. Shane was needed at work. He knew that. But until he was one hundred percent healthy, he was heading home instead on Sergeant Major’s orders.

Home. He was heading home. It was Jen’s house, but she’d made it his, too. She’d opened it to him when he’d been without options from a divorce gone bad. She’d amazed him then, and she amazed him still.

Sergeant Major Giles’ words echoed. He wanted Shane back in the fight, and Shane wanted to be back in the fight. Except now he had something to lose, something important to him. Jen would never ask him to give up the military, but as he turned down the long gravel drive to her small ranch house, he wondered if he shouldn’t consider a civilian life. He could be a trainer here on Fort Hood. Be home every night. Maybe he should look at his options.

He glanced at the paperwork on the passenger’s seat. Paperwork that was about removing one life-changing option.

He needed to talk to Jen about the vasectomy. Carponti was right: Jen was going to be pissed when he mentioned the word. But how could she not understand where he was coming from? The risk to her life was not something he could live with, not even for a child.

He left the paperwork on his seat beneath his patrol cap and walked into the home he shared with the woman he loved. And when he stepped through the front door, things had never been more right.

Because Jen stood in the kitchen, wearing nothing but one of his big
, white t-shirts and a smile.

*   *   *

Jen was nervous. She was always nervous when she didn’t have on a bra and her prosthetic. But Shane’s reaction when he saw her was more than enough to ease her worries.

His gaze darkened as he approached. “Oh, now this is nice,” he said sinking into the chair in front of her and sliding his hands around her waist. He tugged her gently down until she either had to crawl into his lap or fall against him. Either one worked for her, but she decided his lap was the better option for what she had planned.

“What did I do to deserve this?” he teased. “Tell me so I can do it again tomorrow.”

Jen smiled and wrapped her arms around his neck, settling her thighs on either side of his hips. “Nothing special.” She leaned in and pressed her lips to his. “Just practicing, that’s all.”

“Practicing for what?”

“The rest of our lives,” she whispered.

“Now, that is a hell of a good plan.”

She rolled her hips against his as she kissed him, opening her mouth over his. It was daring for her, far more daring than she would have been a few months ago. It had taken her forever to simply find the courage to remove her prosthetic in front of him.

She arched against him as she remembered how she’d nearly wept the first time he’d seen the scar where her breast had been. And then he’d kissed her, right there, and told her he loved her. With her breasts. Without them.

That simple act of loving her, loving all of her, missing parts and all, had taken her to a place she’d never thought she’d find.

And now, pulling open his uniform top, she felt transformed. Beautiful. Whole. Regardless of her scars. She tugged his t-shirt over his head and pressed her lips to the black ink over his heart. His skin was hot beneath her mouth and she traced one of the tribal lines with the tip of her tongue before sliding a little lower down his body. The carpet caressed her bare knees.

The sound he made deep in his throat sent pleasure spiking through her veins. He threaded his hand through her hair. Her fingers curled over his ribs and his stomach quivered beneath her light kiss.

“Jen.” His voice was a gasp, thick and guttural.

She met his gaze, the big strong man laid low by a simple kiss. She smiled, but then her confidence escaped her. “I’m pretty sure I’m not good at this.”

His mouth fell open. “I’m pretty sure whatever you do will be perfect.”

She laughed quietly, wanting to claim the power of taking him in her mouth. Wanting to finally dare do something she’d never done with a lover.

She was terrified of screwing up. There were so many logistical things that did not simply come on instinct. She kissed the soft line of hair beneath his navel and felt him tense as she worked his belt.

She popped the buttons open on his uniform pants. One by one, she freed them, finding him without his normal boxer briefs and very, very aroused. “No panties?”

“Men don’t wear panties,” he mumbled. “I forgot to pack them this morning. Can we please not talk about underwear?”

He sounded pained. Jen licked her bottom lip, wrapping her hand around his erection. He was steel and satin beneath her touch. She almost giggled, remembering the first time she’d touched him when he’d been hard. She’d needed to remove the catheter he’d been complaining about from the moment of his arrival at the hospital, but when she’d gone into his room, he’d had an erection. For as long as she lived, she’d never forget his expression of horror mixed with downright humiliation.

“I know what you’re thinking,” he growled. “Am I never going to live that down?”

She gave up and surrendered to the laugh that bubbled in her throat.

He sighed, then did the unexpected. He shifted and pulled her back into his lap. Twisting his hand into her hair, he kissed her breathless as his fingers found her heat and stroked until she rocked her hips against his touch. He brought her right to the brink of pleasure. He stopped, to pause and roll a condom in place before he slid home, deep. She frowned, realizing he’d distracted her from her goal of going down on him. “I didn’t get to—”

“Some other time,” he said against her lips as he began to move beneath her. He gripped her hips, guiding her to the rhythm they both needed. She loved this position. She felt powerful and strong.

Loved. She kissed him, losing herself in the pleasure of his touch, his taste, his feel. Her body shattered around him, and he followed a moment later, his breath hot against her neck as he came.

Later, when she was curled beside him in their bed, her body wrapped in his warm embrace, she closed her eyes and felt cherished.

*   *   *

The coffee pot gurgled in the early morning quiet. It was the little things, the normalcy of being home, that struck him hard sometimes. Simple things like having Jen there, in the house. Jen to wake up to in the morning.

He’d fallen asleep last night with her nestled in the curve of his body. He’d waited months to hold her properly. Now that he could, he did. Every night, unless she had to work. Then, it felt strange, falling asleep without her. There was a silence in the house that just felt wrong when she had to work the night shift.

Then again, Shane was still working on getting used to silence, anyway. Life in the States didn’t have all the background noise of generators and soldiers constantly crunching through the gravel outside his trailer when he was trying to sleep. He’d never adjusted to the silence of the hospital, but the silence at Jen’s—at home—was different. Different and good.

He opened the fridge and set the eggs on the counter. Jen had gone outside for something in her car. He cradled the nascent feeling of contentment that settled around his heart.

And then, that moment ended.

“What is this?”

Shane froze where he’d been lining up bacon on the microwave tray. He took a deep breath. Did not turn around. Apparently, Jen had found the paperwork Shane wasn’t ready to talk about yet.