Authors: Erin Nicholas
She didn’t think he was trying to be funny but she laughed anyway. “Thanks. But no.”
He let his head fall back against the seat. “Please get on a plane. I’ll do anything.”
“I…” She meant to say
can’t
next but it didn’t come out. Instead, she looked at Marc. “Is Luke really still hung up on me?” She needed to know. That fact alone could change the course of her future.
Even as melodramatic as that sounded.
Marc’s head came up quickly and he scowled at her. “You like that? You like knowing that you still have him wrapped around your little finger?”
“No, I …” But dammit—maybe it made her a manipulative bitch in some ways—she kind of did. Luke was the only person in her entire life who’d thought she was absolutely wonderful and okay, so that was a little addictive. That was actually normal, wasn’t it? To
like
the person who thought you hung the moon?
“He doesn’t cry himself to sleep at night, if that’s what you’re wondering, and he’s moved on. He’s dated. A couple women for a few months. He’s definitely having sex.”
She flinched, not so much from the truth of it, but from the contempt in Marc’s voice.
“He doesn’t think about you constantly. Probably not even daily. But…” He leaned in, pinning her with a harsh stare. “You have some weird power over us. You can disappear for years and then suddenly appear again and our brains get mushy. You play the sweet and vulnerable part perfectly. You make men want to put on shiny knight armor and find a fucking white horse. You and your hair and your lips and your breasts…” His gaze flickered over each part as he spoke and Sabrina felt tingles start in her scalp and travel down her neck to her nipples.
“You know how to use it all to keep us whipped enough that we can’t look at other women without comparing them to you. Do I think that if you come home Luke will drop everything else and follow you around like a puppy? The answer is fuck yeah.”
She was staring at him by the end of his tirade, her breathing shallow and choppy. She’d heard every word, but the only one she could focus on for some reason was
us
and
we.
“I thought we were talking about Luke,” she said breathlessly. Did Marc really feel that way? Like she made his brain mushy? Like he didn’t want to look at other women when she was around?
When had that happened?
And who cared anyway?
Except that she was afraid she might.
“We
are
talking about Luke. He deserves a life with a woman who wants what he wants, who truly loves him and wants him. Not one who sees him as her backup plan.”
Sabrina let Marc ignore the
us
and
we
that were distracting her. “Backup plan?”
She wanted to sound adamant and offended. But crap. He wasn’t wrong. Luke was the one she always turned to if she needed anything—money, a ride, advice, something heavy carried, something creepy killed and yes, the occasional ego boost. Didn’t everyone need someone who told them they were wonderful once in awhile?
But she’d spent four years without that personal fan club. And she’d survived. She’d had to learn how to face her failures and flaws by herself.
Not that she’d ever made a mistake quite as big as the one she was bringing home now.
Did she like hearing that Luke would forgive her and be there for her, the safety net, the rock? Definitely. If that made her a bad person, then so be it. She was way out of her element here.
“You always kept Luke on a short leash. Anytime you felt like his time and attention had been spent on something or someone else too much you’d have some crisis and reel him back in. Because if he got to close to another girl he might not be there when
you
needed him.”
“You make it sound like I didn’t want him to be happy.”
“I think you were okay with him being happy, as long as you were part of it. But look at what you did the night of The Camelot’s grand opening.”
“What I did?” She’d realized that Luke was an amazing guy. What was wrong with that?
“He was wrapped up in the restaurant and the business—things that had nothing to do with you. He was completely happy and busy. So you had to do something drastic. You seduced him
that
night Sabrina. You’d known him your whole life but suddenly you had to have him
that
night.”
“It wasn’t because—” She stopped. Had she been feeling left out and lonely that night? Not really. She knew every one of the hundred plus people who were at the party. That night Luke had finally fully put his roots down in Justice. There was no changing his mind, no going back, no veering off course as of that night. Luke believed she was the missing piece to him having everything he wanted. So, she had to see if she could give him that.
He’d always done whatever she needed him to do, he’d always been there, making her life better, easier, happier. She’d wanted to give that back. For whatever reason, she was special to him, she was what he wanted, the only thing he wanted that he didn’t have. It had felt good to know that she could give him something he wanted so much, that no one else could give.
She was, amazingly, the woman of his dreams and if anyone deserved to have his dreams come true, it was Luke. So it made sense to go to him on the night when all the rest of his dreams and desires were being fulfilled.
Marc thought she’d done it for herself. Ironically, if she had been thinking more about how she really felt instead of how Luke felt and how she
wanted
to feel, she would have never asked him to kiss her.
“You think you know everything, don’t you?” she asked.
“I’ve just been paying attention.” He tore open the pack of cinnamon gum that lay in the depression between the seats and shoved a piece in his mouth, chomping angrily. The muscles in his jaw tensed and relaxed, tensed and relaxed and she felt her own tension winding up.
She turned to stare out the windshield. She didn’t even see the gray SUV parked in front of them. She was seeing Luke’s face. And how it would look when he saw her again in Justice.
“You don’t even want to come to Justice,” Marc said, his voice calmer. “You said earlier that you don’t even know if this is permanent. It’s probably just a pit stop.”
She didn’t know. She wanted to get through the next week without feeling like she was losing her mind. Then the next week. Then the next.
Right now, in this moment, going home to Justice seemed the best choice. That was all she could focus on.
Was there a time limit on how long a pit stop could be? Was eighteen years too long to be considered temporary?
“It’s probably just a pit stop,” she agreed.
“So don’t do this.”
She turned. It sounded like Marc was actually pleading.
“Don’t come back and turn him inside out and then leave again. Leave him alone.”
The butterflies that never seemed too far off kicked up a dance party in her stomach again. She didn’t want to mess things up for Luke. Or anyone else. She wanted to do the right thing—for a change.
Maybe Marc was right. Maybe she should consider somewhere else. Maybe Nashville wasn’t the worst idea.
The moment she stepped foot in Justice her whole life was going to change. Leaving again would be nearly impossible. And staying would mean a total life makeover. No more nights at the clubs, no more band, no more transient roommates to expand her thoughts and experiences. There would be community rummage sales, sensible shoes and seeing her father regularly.
The butterflies turned up the rhythm.
Justice seemed like the reasonable choice. The fact that she didn’t want to go home probably meant that was exactly where she should go. But it was a permanent decision. She wasn’t very good at permanent.
“Can I think about it?” she finally asked.
“Think about what?”
“Where I want to go?”
Marc glanced at the airport then back at her. “For how long?”
A few months would be good. “At least tonight.”
He hesitated, then said, “You want to spend the night here in Laramie?”
She nodded. “Then we can talk about it in the morning.”
He considered that. She could feel that he didn’t like it but he didn’t have a great argument against it. “Fine,” he finally said.
“I’ll pay you back for the motel room.”
“That’s not the issue.”
“You have to get back to work?”
“Not necessarily.”
“You’re completely sick of being with me?”
He didn’t answer and she turned to look at him.
“Marc?”
“Yeah?” He wouldn’t look at her.
“What’s the problem? It’s a few more hours.”
“Yeah. Seems like a simple request.”
“But?”
“Not sure that being in another motel room with you is a good idea.”
“You think I’m going to smother you in your sleep?”
He looked at her, not amused. “Because Luke, and everyone else, won’t like it if they find out we spent the night in a motel together.”
“But nothing is going to happen.”
“You sure about that?”
The temperature in the car shot up several degrees with his words—and the look on his face.
“I have an idea,” she said, wanting to get away from him as quickly as possible and wanting to get as close as she could at the same time.
Ridiculous. She didn’t even like him.
“An idea about what?”
“We go out somewhere. Somewhere with lots of other people. And we stay out until it’s terribly late and we’re exhausted and all we want to do is go to bed. To sleep,” she added quickly.
He sat looking at her, his gaze dropping to her mouth, then back to her eyes. “It’s worth a try I guess.”
Chapter Four
Of course, the best place to stay out late with a bunch of other people was a bar. And he chose a bar with a live band. Not on purpose, but Sabrina’s eyes lit up when she saw the sign and some of the tightness he’d felt coiling in his gut since deciding to take her to the airport unwound.
Putting her on a plane to anywhere else was a great idea. He knew that.
But even before she’d figured it out and started fighting him, he’d had a knot in his stomach.
There was a reason she was coming back to Justice and, dammit, he was concerned.
She swore no one was after her, but something didn’t feel right. It wasn’t a visit. It wasn’t a vacation. There was something going on and it was driving him nuts.
Almost as nuts as the idea of being in a motel room with her again.
The twenty minutes they’d spent in Grimy Glitch had nearly done him in between her purple underwear and her tattoos and all.
A whole night? After she’d kissed him in the diner? He’d be a goner.
Staying out all night seemed like an okay option. Getting drunk sounded even better.
He ordered two beers and found Sabrina at a table near the far wall. Her eyes were firmly on the stage and her lips were moving along with the words to the not-too-sucky cover of Bruce Springsteen’s “Born to Run”.
She knew every word to one of the Boss’s best songs ever.
Marc liked her a little more in that moment.
They finished and she put her fingers to her lips and gave a sharp whistle as everyone applauded.
“Let’s dance,” she said, already on her feet and moving toward the dance floor as the band started the first notes of Bruce’s “Fire”.
Needing fortification, Marc downed three long pulls of beer, then followed her.
“You know all these words too?” he asked. He did.
She started singing with the band as he pulled her into his arms. Damn. Such a great idea and horrible idea at the same time. She didn’t hesitate to get close and her voice was husky as she sang, “’Cause when we kiss, ooh, fire.”
God, he loved this song.
They danced close and she sang the rest of the song. Marc fought the urge to cup her butt and pull her up where he wanted her. It was the music, the bar, the beer—so what if he’d only had three mouthfuls. Fatigue. That was it. Fatigue and stress and frustration. And Sabrina. Any guy who had her up against him and had her singing those words in his ear would be thinking at least a few of the things he was thinking.
When the song ended, she pulled back, looking up at him, her eyes bright, breathing hard. Much harder than the exertion dancing would have required.
She smiled up at him. “I do love this.”
“Dancing with me?” he teased. He somehow knew what she was talking about.
“Live music. The connection. The
feel
of it.” She looked toward the stage. “No matter which end I’m on—the stage or the audience.”
She was beautiful like this. He was starting to understand his best friend’s obsession. She hadn’t moved away from him and her arms were still around his neck. The next song started, but he didn’t hear anything but the beat. The slow beat.
They naturally started to sway.
“You’ll miss this in Justice,” he said. It was why she’d left in the first place. It was what had kept her away for four years. The music and the freedom.
Now she was coming back. She’d have to give up both. Surely she knew that.
She nodded. “Yeah.” No hesitation, no apologies.
He’d seen her perform. He knew she was amazing. He’d never quite understood why Luke had been surprised that she’d left.
Except that he thought they were in love.
Which was exactly what Marc was afraid would happen again. She’d come home, Luke would think that meant a second chance and then she’d go again. Eventually. It was inevitable. She couldn’t give it up.
Which gave him an idea.
If he wanted her on a plane in the morning, he should give her all the reasons why it was a good idea, remind her what the world could offer her that Justice couldn’t.
And it wouldn’t be bad to put some physical space between them. His body was humming from this new need, the need for her. And there wasn’t a whole lot to keep him from turning that hum up a few decibels. They were far from home, neither of them tied down.
If he liked her, this would be a no brainer. Which was a possible problem.
“Don’t you want something to drink?” he asked.
She pulled back and looked up at him. She must have seen something in his eyes, or felt something below his belt, that made her eyes widen. “Yeah, maybe some water.”