“So Aphrodite’s Hunt breaks the bond between the alpha and her current mate and creates a new one with whatever wolf she mates with during the full moon?”
As she said the words out loud, Gia was both comforted and disturbed. On the one hand, if it was true it would explain her abrupt break in feelings for Claudiu and her upsurge of feelings for Sorin. Neither would be her fault. Hope sprang up inside her. There would be no reason to feel guilty about the death of her feelings for Claudiu if it was all because of Aphrodite.
The hope dashed almost as soon as it rose. On the other hand, it would mean she was indeed bonded to a vampire who had been very clear he would kill her before admitting he loved her.
Trapped again.
“Not exactly,” the oracle hedged. “Aphrodite’s Hunt merely strips away the human complications of the werewolf and simplifies them to their wolf instincts. Under the spell of the Hunt, males were driven to mate with you and you were driven to test them. If one had mated with you successfully, your beast would have felt a wave of peace that comes with the certainty that you have found a mate that will help you and your pack survive.”
Gia’s heart sank. “So, if I mated with someone, would he be drawn to me as much as I am to him?”
“Yes.”
“And if we wanted to stop being drawn to one another?”
The oracle frowned. “I’m not sure. Typically, the two of you would feel very happy with one another. You wouldn’t want to break the spell.” She tilted her head. “I suppose if you did, you would have to convince your beast that another wolf was the better choice.”
“What about the other person? How would he break the spell so he wouldn’t feel drawn to me?”
Oh, Sorin, what have I done to you?
Guilt clawed at her belly as she waited for the Oracle to answer.
“Gia, I am trying to be patient with your questions, but you are really being very difficult. This bond you speak of as if it were iron chains is not a burden. It is a gift. The Hunt brings you together with one who will keep you safe and happy. You will desire him and he you, you will bring one another a sense of peace and well-being.” She threw up her hands. “Never in my life have I heard anyone speak of such a blessing as if it were a death sentence.”
Everything the oracle said echoed in Gia’s head.
A gift. A blessing.
Her chest ached with the weight of the information the oracle had laid on her.
A perfect mate.
It wasn’t true. She’d cheated, she’d locked herself away with Sorin. She hadn’t fought him, not really. Her only objection to their sexual union had been her pride. She frowned.
Had that counted toward the Hunt? Had her emotionally motivated struggles against him and his defeat of those challenges satisfied her beast of his worthiness? Her mind swam with the possibilities. Was she looking at this wrong? Should she be happy?
You fool. Why would you be happy? Have you forgotten that Sorin doesn’t want you?
Images of Sorin flashed into her mind. He’d ripped her life apart, called her foolish and insulted her feelings. In all his tirade about Claudiu’s unworthiness, he had not once offered himself up as an alternative. She swallowed and blinked rapidly to keep tears from forming. She wasn’t a gift to him. She was a curse.
Even if Aphrodite’s Hunt could overwhelm his resistance, that isn’t the kind of love I want.
“Gia, what are you not telling me?”
The oracle’s soft voice grated on Gia’s nerves and sent waves of pain through her mind. The one clear fact in this entire mess was that her relationship with Claudiu couldn’t continue. Her beast had found a new mate and she wouldn’t rest until she got him back—unless Gia could find another replacement to satisfy it. She swallowed past the lump in her throat. Claudiu would not do.
“The Hunt is over, oracle,” Gia whispered. “But I have no mate.”
The oracle frowned. “Claudiu announced to the pack that he is your mate.”
Gia shook her head, cursing the tear that slid down her cheek. “I tried to cheat Aphrodite and the goddess took her revenge. My tie to Claudiu has been severed and I have nothing to replace it.”
“You aren’t making any sense, Gia. How could your tie to Claudiu be broken if no one broke it? If someone broke it, then you do indeed have a replacement.” She frowned. “Tell me what has happened.”
Gia shook her head. “It doesn’t matter.”
“Gia, of course it matters. How could Claudiu make such an announcement if another has won you from him?”
“Because the other man doesn’t want me,” she whispered.
Saying it out loud made it all so painfully real. The oracle held out her arms, silently offering Gia the comfort she so obviously needed. Part of her wanted to fall into the oracle’s lap, to let the older woman comfort her while she wallowed in her misery for awhile. But she didn’t have that luxury. She had a pack to consider. One way or another, she had to find a new lycaeon. And to do that, first she had to break up with Claudiu. Her stomach sank and she pushed away from the oracle, suddenly ill.
“Does your pain have anything to do with the scent of vampire on your skin?”
The oracle’s question froze Gia. For a split second she wavered, wanting to confide in the Oracle, but terrified to do so. What would the wise woman think of her lupa consorting with a vampire? Sleeping with the dead? Bonding with the dead over her living werewolf brethren?
She stood up, not meeting the oracle’s eyes. “I’ve got to shower and get dressed.”
“Gia, we are a pack. You don’t have to do this alone.”
The kindness in the oracle’s voice called to her and Gia almost turned around. Sorin didn’t want her and she was about to sever her ties with the one wolf she’d spent the last fifteen years confiding in. She hadn’t realized until this moment how much of a wedge Claudiu had driven between her and the rest of her pack. The thought added even more weight to her shoulders and she struggled to keep her back straight as she shook her head.
“I have a great deal to fix before I claim any support from my pack, oracle.”
She ran out of the room before she could change her mind, slamming the door behind her. The full moon’s rays illuminated the trees around her, giving them that perfect silvery glow she’d always loved so much. She let her eyes roam over them as she made her way from the office to the cabin she shared with Claudiu. This was her favorite night of the month, the night her whole pack would hunt together as one. Furred bodies would fly through the shadows as they raced against the wind, reveling in their other halves and the freedom of the forest. She should feel joyful.
Sorin’s face danced in her mind’s eye, his emerald orbs holding heat like no fire ever could. Her beast cried for him, begging her to let it out so it could find its mate. The bitch had experienced the bond of a true mate and it would no longer even pretend to accept Claudiu as a substitute.
Tension sang in her skin as she resisted her beast’s attempts to break free. Even an alpha couldn’t repress the change forever though. The full moon already made it harder and deep down she knew that her beast would escape before the sun rose. Her heart weighed like a piece of lead suspended in her chest. If only her wolf could understand. Sorin didn’t want her. It was time to move on.
A tear trailed down her cheek. For the last month she’d tried to forget him. When memories of his caresses and the ecstasy of his kiss had become too much to ignore, she’d forced herself to think instead of the fury she’d felt when he’d attacked Claudiu. She wrapped herself in the guilt over spilling his guts all over the floor. She called to mind the outrage that had washed over her when she’d first found herself in the dungeon. There were plenty of negative emotions she could call on, and she used them all, building a cocoon of guilt and anger to protect herself from the pain of loneliness and rejection.
The door to her cabin opened without a sound. Claudiu’s scent wafted over to her and her chest constricted. She knew what she had to do, but that didn’t make it any easier. The spark in his eyes as he looked up at her from the couch only compounded the weight on her chest.
“Hey, you’re home. We have to go, the pack’s all assembled and they’re waiting for us to start the hunt.”
His voice stirred a wave of nostalgia and tears threatened to form. She closed her eyes wishing for the millionth time that she could go back in time to when this man had been enough. She took a deep breath.
“This isn’t going to work,” she whispered.
Claudiu frowned.
“What won’t work?”
Leaving him won’t get Sorin back,
spoke up a little voice in her head. She took a deep breath. Whether or not she could find another mate, the sad truth was that being with Claudiu wasn’t fair. Not to her, or to him. He deserved to know things had changed so he could move on with his life.
“Us, Claudiu. We’re not working.”
His face tightened. “You don’t mean that. Gia, I love you.”
“I’m sorry.” Misery scratched at her heart and she shook her head as she sat down beside him. “I’m sorry, but I can’t pretend anymore. It’s over.”
Claudiu took her hands in his, and it hurt her heart to feel him trembling. “This is about Rhianne. Gia, I told you, she didn’t mean anything to me. It was a stupid mistake and I’ll never—”
“This isn’t about Rhianne.” Saying the other woman’s name out loud should have inspired pain, anger, jealousy . . . but it didn’t. She just didn’t care anymore. There was only one man out there that she wanted and he had never cheated on her.
Her gaze fell to their hands, clasped together between them. “I’m so sorry. All these years I’ve known we weren’t working. I knew deep down it was wrong.” She raised her eyes to his face, trying to soften what she had to say with the affection in her gaze. “Claudiu you’re a good man, but you’re not a lycaeon.”
His hands closed in a painfully tight grip and she winced at the sudden pressure. She raised her eyes to his, the anger radiating from his gaze momentarily shocking her. Before she could say anything more, he ripped his hands away from hers and shot to his feet.
“How would you know what kind of lycaeon I can be?” he hissed.
He grabbed the coffee table in the center of the room and flipped the heavy wood to smash against the wall. Dust from cracked drywall floated into the air, filling it with a musty scent. It was such a childish display of temper, Gia could hardly believe her eyes.
“Claudiu—”
“You want to know why I cheated?” he growled. “Because of you. You treat me like a goddamned kid! You walk around telling everyone to respect me, putting your own threat behind it, but you never let me defend myself! How are they supposed to respect me when you don’t?”
Her jaw dropped in shock. “I defended you because I cared about you.”
“No, you don’t care about me, you care about being lupa. Your stupid step-daddy bullied you and now you’re so scared of having someone else take control of your life that you beat everyone around you into submission! You crush anyone who stands up to you.”
He collapsed back on the window seat, leaning in with sparks of anger flying from his eyes. Gia just stared, too shocked to react. Images of her stepfather danced behind her eyes, bringing with them a wave of emotions she’d thought she exorcised decades ago. She could still hear her mother’s voice.
“He is not just your stepfather, Gia, he is your lycaeon. He deserves your obedience—he has earned it.”
It was a cruel trick for a teenager to be cheated out of a right every other teenager had—to rebel against a stepparent out of lingering loyalty to the parent she’d lost. But no, he was lycaeon and no one in the pack would tolerate anything but respect for him.
It all flew back to her like birds coming home to roost. Her jaw muscles tightened as she struggle to cope with the frustration and pain of the past. She couldn’t believe Claudiu was throwing that in her face. She’d shared that part of her life with him out of trust and this is how he repaid her.
“I protected you because you needed it.” She kept her voice low, trying not to scream in the face of his attack. “You—”
“I don’t need your protection! I can fight for myself,” he screamed.
“You can’t even hunt by yourself!” Gia snarled. “When was the last time you participated in a hunt—really participated not just jumped in to eat first after our brothers brought down a deer?”